PODCAST

Ficta Inferno

Maya Baker

Dramatic readings of terrible fanfictions/fiction from the internet

fiction comedy fiction

All Episodes

01:50:43

Empress Theresa: Part Twelve

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/07/10

Norman still doesn’t know how the environment works, somehow there are nuclear explosions going off, and this idea to save the planet is so insane it can’t even work in the science fiction sense.

01:26:45

Empress Theresa: Episode Eleven (This is the start of...

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/07/03

Theresa goes on a picnic like the not so average bear instead of trying to save the world, but she ‘fixes’ the problem anyway. North Korea does some shady shit while Melvin is away, Theresa actually cries because what will she do without her man? Also she keeps fucking up the environment, the narwhals call for blood.

01:04:14

Empress Theresa: Part Ten (Because only men can talk...

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/06/26

Theresa becomes a ‘pin-up’ girl and increasingly becomes insufferable. HAL learns some new tips and tricks, none of which actually make sense right off the bat, and this chapter is so forgettable we probably didn’t need to read it.

01:14:53

Empress Theresa: Part Nine (Passport to Paris)

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/06/19

Theresa and Melvin take it to Paris y’all! And they make asses of themselves. Are we surprised? No, no we are not surprised by this at all. Travel guide Maya is here to talk about that one.

02:01:00

Empress Theresa: Part Eight

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/06/12

Theresa and Marvin are reunited and given residence in a mansion in the countryside of England, Norman gets everything wrong. Hundreds of soldiers are in the forest, we’re pretty sure they’re reenactors or something.

01:15:05

Empress Theresa: Part 7 (somehow we get offended again)

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/06/05

Literally nothing happens, everyone gets offended to the point of not finishing the chapter and just goofing off for a few minutes. The author published this not once, not twice, but four times and he didn’t bother to fix some language that’s definitely problematic.

01:43:04

Empress Theresa: Part Six

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/05/29

The BBC special keeps going on, Siah and Maya keep getting offended, save the seapuppies, and Norman knows nothing.

02:03:32

Empress Theresa: Part Five

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/05/15

When are we getting to the story? This is the story! Somehow both Siah and Maya get offended at the same time by the author, and for some other reason we have to know every little detail of what happened to Theresa after she was in the water. The author has a weird obsession with Theresa having this squeaky clean image and you know what, it’s boring. She’s really the person that reminds the teacher you have homework.

01:49:59

Empress Theresa: Part Four

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/05/01

Coming to you from Maya’s house. The longest and most ridiculous chapter so far. Why the coke bottles? How many times did Winnie crop dust us? It’s only chapter 4 and it’s being going on for too long.

02:22:24

Empress Theresa: Part Three

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/04/24

Somehow we always mention a bukakke, where there is a group of men we always find a way to squeeze it in. Also Norman doesn’t know how to write women decently, Theresa is boring, and if I have to google the college she’s going to to understand everything then you’re explaining things wrong Norman.

01:22:31

Empress Theresa Part Two

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/04/17

Literally nothing but something happens? The Amazon Commercial from Hell is retold and Jan goes missing, but no one really cares but we do? Also there’s been three presidents that all sound very boring.

01:31:20

Empress Theresa: Part One

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/04/03

Well, we thought Handbook was bad- this is kind of sort of worse. Listen as Maya becomes unhinged and starts speaking of outer gods that aren’t really there in the text, trust us this is for the best. Get ready for a lot of improv and inflection changes.

00:02:32

The Dawn of Empress Theresa

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/03/30

An excerpt of what is to come needed to be shared, no context and just know to buckle up buckaroos.

02:04:46

ModelLand Episode 20: The End

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/03/27

Here we have chapters 46, 47, and 48. Most things are wrapped up, Maya wastes money on the splash zone, and will we ever see hunchy ever again? Find out in the final installment of ModelLand.

01:49:46

ModelLand Episode 19: Ch. 41, 42, & 43

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/03/20

Chapter 41: Stone to Bone and Flesh, Chapter 42 La Trois Carpines, and Chapter 43: Porcelain Living Dolls. All is revealed about Creamy and her apparently mysterious past, the Belladonna is finally seen, and Persimmon deserves better!

02:18:22

ModeLand Episode 18: Ch. 37, 38, 39, 40

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/03/13

Today we have chapters 37: ManAttack and Heartache, 38: Left, Right, Left, 39: Breathless Sister-Friends, and 40: The 7Seven Tournament. A lot happens over these chapters, Tyra tries to knock-off quidditch, Tookie and Bravo are Toxic, Ci~L comes clean about stuff and stuff, and now we have a tournament suddenly happening!

01:18:25

ModelLand Episode 17: Chapter 35: Deco and Chapter...

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/03/06

Boys are not allowed in the D guys, okay? And Bravo breaks this rule just to see Tookie and tell her a little story, and things get a little bit awkward when sexy chicken tenders are brought up. Also Creamy is still pure evil because she is still willingly sacrificing people to the monstrosities that dwell within the Diabolical Divide.

01:41:50

ModelLand Episode 16: Chapters 31, 32, 33, and 34

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/02/27

The names of the chapters couldn’t even fit in the episode title! Today we have Chapter 31: Despairing Desperation, Chapter 32: There no, has never been, and never will be, Chapter 33: The Mutant Music Monster, and Chapter 34: The Mad Woman of the ModeLand. It just keeps getting crazier and crazier here. Apparently crossing the wall is a big no-no and yet the young Bella's are never told, Tookie doesn't know what to do, Creamy is going mad with power and bloodlust, and Zarpessa has got some

01:17:57

ModelLand Episode 15: Ch 28: The 3 Decrees, Ch 29:...

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/02/20

These chapter titles seem to be getting longer and longer. Tookie slept walked from the OR-UK and into the M building, which just seems to be where the gurus drink coffee and try to out-cat each other, Creamy and Myyrcle are still making their way up the Diabolical Divide and are more or less up for murder at this point, and finally Tookie and Bravo awkwardly (?) flirt with one another.

00:11:29

Early to Rise (Valentine's Day Special 2022 part 2,...

Ficta Inferno ·

2022/02/15

Maya has had it with the bad fan-fiction and at last there is one (in her opinion) good one that is read. Short, sweet, and very much in the Valentine’s Day spirit.

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