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PODCAST

Beyond Success

Are you a high achiever who"s worked hard, found success, but still feels like something"s missing? Do you wonder what the point of it all is, and long for deeper meaning or love in your life? Welcome to "Beyond Success," the podcast for high achievers seeking fulfillment, happiness, and true purpose. I"m David Tian, Ph.D., Leadership Coach, Certified IFS Therapy Practitioner (Level 3), and a former university professor. I"m also a proud father and husband. I bring two decades of experience,

education self-improvement

All Episodes

21:04

#46: Why You Still Feel Stuck Even After Doing 'The...

Beyond Success ·

2025/07/25

So many high achievers do the “right things.” They read the books. They practice breath work. They follow the morning routines. They “hack” their productivity. All of these things can make them feel calmer, more in control, and more focused. Until chaos erupts, and you find yourself back in your same-old destructive patterns and emotional loops. Why does this happen? Because most personal development is only surface level. And since it’s only surface level, as soon as your deeper parts get

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21:53

#45: Why Hustling Harder Will Only Get You Worse Results

Beyond Success ·

2025/07/18

Most high achievers are being driven by the absolute worst source of fuel: Fear, guilt, shame, and insecurities. These traps are alluring because they’re actually effective routes to short-term success. And they disguise themselves as grit, discipline, and sheer determination. Problem is… the well eventually runs dry. And that’s the real reason why you feel stuck, uninspired, drained, and like you’re always playing catch up. Worst part? You might feel like you’re being lazy, undisciplined, or

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21:23

#44: When 'Self-Defense' Becomes Self-Destruction

Beyond Success ·

2025/07/11

Many leaders are driven by an insidious fear that tells them their sense of self-worth depends on their ability to protect their mask. But your mask is just an outdated story your subconscious created, and protecting this mask can only drive a wedge between you and your spouse, your kids, and your team. This is why it feels like you’re constantly at war. You are. Feedback morphs into betrayal. Correction morphs into humiliation. Making a mistake makes you feel like you’re being erased. This is not

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22:02

#43: Why No State Has a 'Right to Exist' and Why That...

Beyond Success ·

2025/07/04

The “right to exist” is a common myth used to justify aggression, destruction, and death. But states aren’t people. Structures rise and fall all the time. And using this argument to justify the actions of a state is misleading at best, and downright evil at worst. And yet… people make a similar faulty argument in their own lives all the time. This is especially true if you have a leadership position: A founder clings to a vision that no longer works. A CEO resists a restructuring that could save

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21:16

#42: Emotional Strength Isn’t Built by Crushing Your...

Beyond Success ·

2025/06/27

The trickiest part about healing your inner world is learning to figure out the difference between self-help schticks and true healing. They are often confused with each other - especially by high achievers. And the cost you pay for mixing them up is hefty. Like, for example: * Striving for more and more success even when it feels empty * Sabotaging your relationships at home and at work * Developing a severe case of burnout, numbness, and depression And worst of all: * Tricking yourself into

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23:49

#41: The High Cost of Hiding Your True Emotions

Beyond Success ·

2025/06/20

Many high achievers treat vulnerability as if it’s a four-letter word. And it’s easy to understand why: they’ve been told leaders must keep their emotions in check, and be level-headed and strong in the face of challenges. But the misunderstandings about vulnerability aren’t just unfortunate, they’re devastating. Because they lead to people going numb to their feelings and relationships, all while convincing themselves they’re doing the right thing. In this episode I’m going to cut through the fog

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30:47

#40: You’ve Been Lied to About What It Means To Be...

Beyond Success ·

2025/06/13

Almost everything you’ve learned about emotional “strength” is not only a flat-out lie, but completely backwards. Toughing it out, staying in control, never letting others see you sweat - these aren’t signs of emotional strength, but emotional blindness. And emotional blindness comes with a steep cost that nobody deserves to pay: It leaves you empty, unfulfilled (even after milestone achievements), and depressed. Why? Because the old way of being emotionally strong is really fear in disguise. And

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28:54

#39: The Human Shield Excuse: Why Goodness Dies When...

Beyond Success ·

2025/06/06

Let’s stop pretending this is just a problem for soldiers and politicians. The “human shields excuse” isn’t just some abstract wartime tactic—it’s the same twisted reasoning people use every day to justify hurting others, dodging accountability, or compromising their integrity. It’s what lets you blow up a relationship and blame the other person for making you do it. It’s how you rationalize crossing a line—then sleep at night because technically, it wasn’t your fault. In war, this excuse gets

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30:43

#38: Success Doesn't Heal Shame: Why the Hustle Kills...

Beyond Success ·

2025/05/30

Too many people are numb to life, unable to enjoy themselves and their relationships even if they’ve achieved great things. The real problem isn’t intelligence, skill, or drive. It’s a failure to process emotions properly because they’ve lost the ability to use their “heart-mind.” Sadly, most of us have been subtly conditioned to not even know we’re approaching this all wrong. Thankfully, you can learn how to regain clarity of your heart-mind. And once you do, and stick with it, the results are

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41:20

#37: The Books That Helped Me Stop Proving Myself and...

Beyond Success ·

2025/05/23

The Achiever’s Curse is a deadly one. It starts subtle at first. But left unchecked long enough, it seeps into every aspect of your life, stealing joy and fulfillment every step of the way. Too many achievers don’t realize this insidious curse until they feel the intense pangs of regret on their deathbed. Far too late, in other words. I want to help you avoid this terrible fate… I have read well over 1,000 books in my life - spanning across psychology, philosophy, leadership, business, religion,

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25:58

#36: The Hidden Reason Smart People Make Terrible...

Beyond Success ·

2025/05/16

Perhaps the most important skill an intelligent person can learn is the Dao of Decision Making. Making tough, high-stakes decisions doesn’t come naturally to high achievers because they’ve been fooled into valuing their intelligence more than their emotions. But every decision has its roots in emotions… and relying solely on logic and data for these decisions is a quick way to make a decision that wrecks your marriage, your internal harmony, and even your future fulfillment. In other words, there

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24:03

#35: The Silent Way Emotional Avoidance Destroys Success

Beyond Success ·

2025/05/09

High achievers are vulnerable to emotional avoidance. It’s subtle, sneaky, and seductive. It tricks you into thinking you’re making progress or crushing goals. But when everything feels flat - no matter how big the accomplishment - it’s a sign that you’re under the spell of emotional avoidance. And emotional avoidance comes with a devastating cost: Losing the entire gamut of your emotions. That might sound alluring at first, until you realize the full cost. It’s not just mental, but physical too

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25:25

#34: Why Smart, Driven People Struggle Emotionally (&...

Beyond Success ·

2025/05/02

Most high achievers learned at a young age that emotions were distractions. This early lesson inspired much of their success… but it came at a terrible cost: It develops emotional blindspots that quietly, patiently, and relentlessly sabotage you. Here’s the thing about emotional blindspots: No matter how much you try to stuff them down and pretend they don’t exist, they don’t simply disappear. Instead, they move underground. They become sneakier. More insidious. And more sabotaging. Worst part

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24:48

#33: The Myth of Emotional Toughness: Why Suppressing...

Beyond Success ·

2025/04/25

Most high achievers take pride in the fact that they’re not too emotional. They stay cool under pressure, act like nothing bothers them, wear their emotional armor like a badge. But one day, they wake up and realize that they’re a mere observer of their life. They’re not actually living their own life. Instead, they feel empty, like something’s missing that they can’t quite put their finger on. Worst part? They don’t realize that the emotional armor they wore so proudly is the exact thing

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24:13

#32: Why "Working on Yourself" Can Make Things Worse

Beyond Success ·

2025/04/18

There are 3 distinct levels to personal development and self-improvement. And most high achievers get trapped forever in Level 2—never fully healing or integrating with their internal world because they’re stuck trying to conquer it. While Level 2 is helpful up to a point, if you stay in Level 2 for too long, you’ll never experience true healing or integration. Worst part? Most influencers and coaches intentionally keep you stuck at Level 2 because it’s easier to sell you “the one thing” you need

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24:44

#31: You're Not Broken, Your Mind Just Learned the...

Beyond Success ·

2025/04/11

There are certain emotional scripts you learned in your formative years that are running your life today. These emotional patterns aren’t the enemy. They don’t mean that you're broken as a person or flawed in an insidious way. Instead, it simply means that you’re not aware of these emotional scripts. But if you’re been stuck in the same loops for years, trying harder, doing the same thing over and over, something deeper is necessary. In fact, gritting your teeth and trying harder will only give

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25:41

#30: Why You're Burnt Out, Unfulfilled, & Still Not...

Beyond Success ·

2025/04/04

Most people, and high achievers in particular, suffer from a paradoxical problem: Trying too hard backfires and causes your deepest, darkest fears to realize. When high achievers are confronted with a problem in their personal or professional life, their first instinct is to push harder, work longer, go on more dates. They’re desperately searching for connection, peace, joy, and love. But they don’t realize that their need for control keeps these forever out of their reach. But there’s an ancient

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27:42

#29: How to Find Peace by Leaning into Chaos

Beyond Success ·

2025/03/28

Most high achievers have been sold a lie: that Chaos is a threat that will take everything from you, and the only way to handle it is with more control. But if you look into any high achiever’s life, relationships, or business, you’ll see a similar through line: They’re quietly miserable no matter how much material success they’ve accumulated. Why does this same story play out across so many lives? Because when you try to control chaos, you cut yourself off from half of life. Peace doesn’t come

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21:49

#28: How to Create Deep Connection, No Matter Who's...

Beyond Success ·

2025/03/21

If you wanted to grow bigger muscles, you could read all the strength training books you wanted. But until you go to the gym and apply your knowledge to your body, your muscles will never grow. That’s the same way the muscle of connection works. But for some reason, high achievers especially are prone to fall into the trap of thinking they can build connection by listening to podcasts, reading books, or even going into individual therapy. This misses the mark that connection is a skill. And the

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22:19

#27: Why Success Kills Connection (& What To Do...

Beyond Success ·

2025/03/14

Most people who struggle with connection chalk it up to a personality trait. They think their personality, which benefits them in other areas, just makes connection harder for them. But this is actually a defense mechanism in disguise, created by a protective part of you that was created by an old wound. This wounded part of you whispers into your ear that connection will come if you just hustle more, achieve more accolades, or have more material success. But this protective part of you is stuck

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191 results

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