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The Lizard Review

The Lizard

Detailed amphibious rantings on songs, artists, records, and rocks. thelizardreview.substack.com

music music commentary

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43:26

2025 VMA's Nominations and an Impassioned Plea for...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/08/08

Will this year's MTV Video Music Awards be, as the kids say, a "flop summit"? Following a lukewarm eight months of music for 2024, one could say it wouldn't necessarily be surprising...breakdown all of the nominees for this year's award show with me, including some Taylor Swift ts12 predicting (of course) and some ranting and raving about how excessive lawn mowing is ruining the earth. THANK YOU! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus

90:03

The Lizard's Favorite Taylor Swift Songs

The Lizard Review ·

2025/08/01

One of the most important rituals of any stan is the process of "ranking" things. Anything and everything. Outifts, albums, lead singles, cats, romantic partners, and, of course, songs. Judging by the title of the episode you may be thinking you are about to experience yet another one such ranking - from the top at number one, all the way to the bottom. Sadly, this is not the case. Consider this my official retirement from attempting to rank even just my personal favorite Taylor Swift songs. This

96:50

Why Artists Start Making Bad Music

The Lizard Review ·

2025/07/25

A question that haunts every single person about at least one band or artist that they used to love : what happened? In the longest episode of The Lizard Review yet, I go through four different examples of four VERY different artists who all have only one thing in common - they once were considered great artists, and now no longer are. Some of them become cheesy, some of them sell out, some of them grow up, some of them turn evil, and some of them just simply cannot recreate the magic that made them

61:00

The Lizard's Essential Albums : The One That Takes Me...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/07/11

The latest in my series about the albums that made me into who I am - this is about an album that made me feel very far away from wherever I didn't want to be when I was a kid. It's an album that made me dream of beaches and oceans and piers and highways along the coast that I had never been to before, an album that made me feel like life was sunnier than it seemed, and most importantly, an album that has the only song I've ever found that I actually like that has MY name in it. It's another one of

55:05

It's New, The Declaration of Independence. It's Blue,...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/07/04

The 4th of July is many things...the most important is that it's a celebration of the day I got married, but the SECOND most important thing is that it's a celebration of the start of summertime. And what more perfect way to kick off summer than doing a lyrical analysis of Taylor Swift's best summer song - Cruel Summer. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

55:46

Music Catchup : Is Sabrina Carpenter Singlehandedly...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/06/27

A lot of people seem to seriously, seriously think so. In this episode, I go into a biigggg discussion on why people feel that way, her newest song and album cover, and whether or not there's ANY credence to this claim whatsoever. PLUS : we get into Pitchfork's MISERABLY negative review of Benson Boone's newest album American Heart, and discuss a little bit of Addison Rae and a little bit of Jensen McRae. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access

61:44

I'm Guilty As Sin and Fresh Out The Slammer In Your...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/05/23

Is love truly the only thing that can save us in the end? That is the question posed by the four songs we're comparing and contrasting today in this lyrical analysis - Guilty as Sin and Fresh Out The Slammer by Taylor Swift, and Stained Glass Window and Silver Ford by Sunday (1994.) What do these songs have in common? What does Taylor have in common with the band? How does their songwriting differ from one another's? Who the f**k was that guy???? The answers to these questions AND MORE are lying in

110:19

I Met Sunday (1994) And Drank Their Last Coors Light

The Lizard Review ·

2025/05/02

On a fateful autumn day this last September I encountered a brand new band who had only yet released a nine song EP. They were mysterious, different, talented, and had some of the most specific and interesting branding I've seen from any other bands I've discovered so far this decade. That nine song EP quickly jumped up to one of my most played albums of the year, so naturally when they went on tour I simply had to be there no matter what and no matter where....but I never could have imagined just

55:27

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Analyses

The Lizard Review ·

2025/04/25

One of the most underrated and overlooked songs on Tortured Poets may actually be one that has the most to mine....a simple and admittedly childish metaphor is actually far more than it seems once you really start digging into the depths of this song and what it represents in the narrative of the album. Celebrate ONE YEAR of Tortured Poets on The Lizard Review by analyzing one of my favorite songs from the album with me! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers

11:23

Sunday (1994) Rain REACTION featuring Clown Shoes...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/04/11

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelizardreview.substack.com/subscribe

62:21

The Lizard's Top 15 Y2K Songs

The Lizard Review ·

2025/04/11

One of my all time favorite time periods of music had it all...the best boy bands and girl bands in history, some of the most iconic female pop stars of all time, iconic producers, and legendary iconography. It ALSO had misogyny, villainous men topping the charts, and beloved female pop stars punching one another backstage at the VMA's. Nonetheless, I love y2k, flaws and all, and I decided to (attempt) to count down fifteen of my favorite songs from the era. This is a public episode. If you'd like

61:08

Happiness vs Happiness

The Lizard Review ·

2025/04/04

Happiness is a butterfly...or is happiness a sunset? There will be happiness after you...or will it always escape from my hands into moonlight? Two different schools of thought on the same concept are presented by two of the most established and prolific female songwriters in the world - Lana Del Rey and Taylor Swift. On the one hand, Taylor Swift writes a full narrative of the five stages of grief and how to get back to happiness after all of it in her song Happiness from Evermore. On the other,

52:50

Severance and Sandwich

The Lizard Review ·

2025/03/28

Many of you are aware of my ritual of watching the new episode of Severance every Friday while eating a sandwich...nothing has ever been more important to me in the history of the world...and now that season two has officially concluded, there was no new Severance and no sandwich to be had...so I decided to bring Severance and Sandwich to the Lizard Review for a little bit of a kiki on my personal experience with the show now that we're two seasons in, some opinions on the weirdoness of the fandom,

55:14

The Lizard's Top 5 Greatest Pop Ballads of All Time

The Lizard Review ·

2025/03/14

In the past five years, the number of truly great, iconic, and timeless pop ballads has dwindled significantly in comparison to years prior...WHERE ARE ALL THE GREAT POP BALLADS?!?!?!?!?! Join me as I struggle to answer this question, clarify what is NEEDED in order to create one of these iconic pop ballads, AND as I count down my personal top five GREATEST pop ballads ever created.Playlist on Spotify // Apple Music This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or

48:58

Learning the Basics of Szanese

The Lizard Review ·

2025/02/28

SZA is one of the most innovative, unique, and talented artists working in music right now and she also happens to be one of my favorite artists as well. In this episode, come along with me and learn the basic fundamentals of engaging with SZA's music in the best possible way you can. Take Beyonce's advice and remove the barriers of genre from your mind, and soon, you will find yourself realizing that genre really is just another word that means only what we decide it means... This is a public

51:16

New Music Friday : Call Me When It's Doomsday

The Lizard Review ·

2025/02/21

Friday only comes along every once in a blue moon...on THIS New Music Friday, we get into the brand new single by up and coming band Sunday (1994), as well as the new single from Selena Gomez featuring Gracie Abrams from the already ill-fated collaborative record being cobbled together with Benny Blanco. Plus, the new album from It Girl Tate McRae, and a shocking reminder from Marina that sometimes it's okay to leave before the party is over... This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this

52:55

The Only Exception is Mine

The Lizard Review ·

2025/02/14

Happy Valentine's Day! In honor of the magnificence of this holiday, I did a bit of a sister song lyrical analysis of TWO songs that I believe fully encapsulate the spirit of the day and that I also believe are intrinsically and inextricably linked together and have been since the dawn of time - one Paramore song, one Taylor Swift song! I also start the episode off by detailing a truly demented dream that I had and confess that I sincerely believe my dreams can tell prophecies. Typical Friday stuff

50:17

Lizard Ketchup : Sarah Michelle Gellar Says...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/02/07

Oh if only there were a man in my life who wasn't working on Super Bowl Sunday...catch up with me on some of the latest pop culture news including the Super Bowl and all its nonsense featuring Queen SZA gallantly allowing Kendrick on stage, what albums we have to look forward to in the next couple of months, an impending Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot, and all of the latest music from January. INCLUDING : Tate McRae, Lady Gaga, Jennie and that character from Euphoria everyone hated, and Sabrina

60:23

Foolish One, Step Away From The Mailbox Slowly and...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/01/31

A lyrical analysis of one of the GREATEST songs that almost never was...a vault track deep from the archives of the original Golden Era of Taylor Swift : Foolish One from Speak Now (Taylor's Version.) It's one of the best vault tracks because it does everything a vault track should do - shed more light on songs from long ago, take us right back to the time period it would have originally existed in, and give us a strong case of nostalgia ULTIMATE. Foolish One, you son of a b***h.... This is a public

68:00

The Lizard's Essential Albums : The One That Changed...

The Lizard Review ·

2025/01/24

This was an album about growing up, about moving away, about changing from a girl into a woman, about navigating the world while being unsure of how (or even if) you fit into it. It was also an album that shook the foundations of pop so much that it launched the careers of dozens of other girls after it, that pissed men off, that confused critics, and that changed the way I would look at music for the rest of my life. It's an album that will forever be an iconic piece of my history, whether it also

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