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PODCAST

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Welcome to our podcast! My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group. I am the author of three books: “Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/5248297.html) and Amazon

religion & spirituality

All Episodes

01:02:47

Episode 823: Darice Auston, LDS Mother of a Trans...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/04/16

My friend Darice (married mother of four including a transgender daughter, Gather Conference Director) joins us to share her story including:1) Proximity to LGBTQ people—seeing their goodness/gifts/kindness 2) Being uncomfortable with the 2015 policy statements—"didn’t align with my spiritual integrity” 3) Being called as Stake Relief Society President and her work to help everyone feel loved and that they belong—including having a Stake inclusion specialist 4) Supporting her transgender

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00:55:00

Episode 822: Helen Anderson, Mother of Trans...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/04/12

My friend Helen Anderson (Lives in Utah County, BYU Grad, Mother of 4, LGBTQ Ally) joins us to share her story:· Exposure to gay people in the 70’s and 80’s—becoming supportive · Carol Lynn Pearson’s book · Documentary called “TransMormon” and how it helped prepare her · Journey to love, see, understand, and accept her transgender daughter · Pronouns · OK to cry · High school graduation (great experience) · University of Utah

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01:12:43

Episode 821: Lucas Batista, Gay Latter-day Saint,...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/04/09

*** This episode talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text/chat *988 *** My friend Lucas Batista (grew up in Brazil, lived in Spain, RM/Chile) joins us to share his story including: 1) Growing up knowing he was like his gay mom (and all the negative comments about gay people) 2) Shame and “always wearing a mask” 3) Temple helping him feel less shame—never felt rejected by God 4) Great mission experience in Chile—came out to both Mission Presidents 5) Suicidal ideation after

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01:03:55

Episode 820: Lyric Kinard, Creating LGBTQ Support...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/04/02

My friend Lyric Kinard (lives in Raleigh, married mother of 5 including queer kids, active Latter-day Saint) joins us to share her story around creating support groups and an invitation to attend Gather Southeast (in Raleigh, NC) on Sept 20, 2025). Lyric talks about:Principles for starting a support group Engaging local leaders Importance of speaking up and having a second witness Creating safe spaces at church Gather Southeast Why she wears her transgender scarf to Church Being like Jesus

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01:21:01

Episode 819: McKay Mayes, Gay Latter-day Saint, ...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/03/29

My friend McKay Mayes (from Wyoming, London South RM, Age 29, Lives/Works in Utah County) joins us to share his story including:Always believing/hoping he would be fixed and be straight Great mission experience—but still gay Not fitting the typical gay stereotype Dating and trying to make it work with a woman—wanted to follow God’s plan—super painful not finding a way to make that possible Feeling “left behind” as straight friends got married For six years, committed to being single in line with

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01:04:18

Episode 818: Barbara Higinbotham, LDS Mother of...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/03/23

My friend Barbara Higinbotham (married mother of 5 living children including a non-binary child, transgender daughter, and gay son; early 60s; recently returned in early 2025 from serving a senior mission with her husband Dan). Barbara shares:Assumptions should be challenged, being uncomfortable leads to growth Being LGBTQ doesn’t make someone a predator Why she chooses to honor the new names (Ben and Heather) and her non-binary child and transgender daughter including updated Christmas

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01:04:37

Episode 817: Cort Watson, Gay BYU-I Student, Focus on...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/03/17

My friend my friend Cort Watson (construction management major/BYI-Idaho, from Tremonton, Arcadia CA RM, former FSY counselor) joins us to bravely share his story including: Navigating feeling different, not sure believed in Church, deciding to serve a mission Coming out first to his junior companion and then his Mission President (both good experiences) Processing pain (and subsequent anger to God) about being gay Deep spiritual experiences (and role of the temple) to “thank God for making me this

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01:20:58

Episode 816: Eric Hales, LCSW, Therapist for Queer Folks

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/03/12

My friend Eric Hales (a highly recommended therapist, gay, mid-30s, former Latter-day Saint, licensed in Utah, Idaho, Nevada, and Virginia) joins us to talk about his work supporting the queer and Latter-day Saint community. Eric starts by sharing some of his story and then talks about key concepts that promote healing, including:Creating safety Healing from wounds Self-compassion Addressing shame-based trauma and C-PTSD What to look for in a therapist Understanding and addressing numbing

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01:11:59

Episode 815: Kelsey Wells, Mid-20’s, Child of God,...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/03/06

My friend Kelsey Wells (RM, from Idaho, lives in Utah County, former EFY counselor and seminary teacher, active in her ward) joins us to bravely share her story. Kelsey starts with coming out to her mother (senior year of high school) and the good/difficult experiences—including how not talking about it brings shame. Kelsey talks about wanting to service a mission but putting that on pause because she realized she was not doing that for the right reasons. Kelsey shares what changed and how she

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01:08:23

Episode 814: Marley Orton, LDS Mother of Non-Binary...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/02/27

My friend Marley Orton (married mother of three, mid-50s, Utah County, real estate broker/hair stylist, RM) joins us to share her story of love and acceptance of her non-binary child CC. Marley starts with the pregnancy of this child knowing it was twins and having that confirmed via ultrasound. However, that changed with “Vanishing Twin Syndrome” where she ended up with one child. Marley talks about CC being sensitive, focused on those left out, sweet and a great sibling to their younger

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01:13:56

Episode 812: Matt Higinbotham, Gay Latter-Day Saint,...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/02/19

My friend Matt Higinbotham (RM from Tempe Arizona, returned Feb 2024, from Utah County, BYU student) joins us to share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Matt talks about his early years figuring out his sexuality and his journey to realize (and then accept) he is gay. Matt talks about the role of prayer, scripture study, and temple attendance to help feel God’s love, acceptance, hope for his future and the desire to serve/help others (a big reason he did the podcast).Matt talks about his

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01:29:33

Episode 813: Trevor Schoeny, Gay Latter-day Saint,...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/02/19

My friend Trevor Schoeny (RM from Lubbock Texas, returned Dec 2024, from Virgina/DC, BYU student, Age 23) joins us to share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Trevor starts with realizing he is gay and then coming out to his parents after his senior year (positive experience). Trevor talks about stepping away from the Church (which helped him eventually come back to the Church) and his brave (and somewhat surprising) decision to serve a mission (and walk back into a place of trauma)—because

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01:35:44

Episode 811: Jake and Joe Sharp, Lost Brother Sam to...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/02/13

My friends Jake and Joe Sharp (identical twins, age 24, from Mesa Arizona, RMs) join us to talk about their life work to help others choose to stay, turn to positive coping behaviors, finding hope and the role of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to heal from pain.Jake and Joe start with the story of losing their younger brother Sam to suicide at age 16 while they were on their missions. They talk about the goodness of Sam—as well as the difficult mental health challenges (OCD, toxic perfection,

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01:24:26

Episode 810: Dr Matthew Harris, New Book Called...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/02/07

My friend Dr. Matthew L Harris (Historian, Colorado State University) joins us to talk about his powerful new book called “Second-Class Saints: Black Mormons and the Struggle for Racial Equality”— a fifteen-year labor of love. In Matt’s book (which was a powerful read for me), he draws on never-before-seen private papers of LDS apostles and church presidents—including Spencer W. Kimball to help us understand the complexity of ending the ban—something that President Kimball considered long before

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01:39:54

Episode 809: Richard Hanks, New Book About His Father...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/02/02

My friend Richard Hanks (mid 60s, retired business executive, active Latter-day Saint/former Mission President) joins us to talk about his biography of his father Elder Marion D. Hanks (beloved general authority—called at age 31—who lived from 1921-2011) in his book called “To Be a Friend of Christ: The Life of Marion D. Hanks.”Richard talks about his father’s unique approach to the gospel and his work—focused on following Christ—advocating for: increasing the church's humanitarian efforts,

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00:58:21

Episode 808: Hailey Kynaston, Age 22, BYU-I, RM, SSA,...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/01/27

My friend Hailey Kynaston (Anaheim California RM, BYU-I marriage and family studies major, grew up in Davis County) bravely joins us to share her story. Hailey starts with her journey coming to terms with her sexual orientation during her high school years, dating girls secretly, as well as dating boys. Hailey talks about her journey to attend her YSA ward, working to gain a testimony and ultimately serving a successful mission.Hailey talks about the transformative experiences on her mission

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00:55:15

Episode 807: Candice Clark, LDS Mother of Queer Kids,...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/01/23

My friend Candice Clark (mother of 5, lives in Iowa City, Iowa) joins us to share her story of her journey to love, understand, and accept her queer kids—and the blessings of using their preferred pronouns. Candice is open about the sometimes choppy road to using preferred pronouns—but talks about how that brought improved relationships and more love, open communication, and genuine family unity and understanding. She shares ten messages a queer person might hear when we use their pronouns: You

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01:26:13

Episode 806: Emilie Call and Ashlie Sanders...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/01/19

My friends Emilie Call (married mother of 4) and Ashlie Sanders (married mother of 3) join us to talk about their podcast they founded, and co-host called “That’s Church Podcast” which builds bridges of understanding to other faiths (and people of no faith) and to better support people within our own faith (such as LGBTQ folks). They also share their personal stories navigating complicated topics in our faith and how their work has helped them stay in our Church. Emilie and Ashlie talk about

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00:50:34

Episode 805: Liberty Hansen, Early Release...

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/01/14

My friend Liberty Hansen (age 20, lives in Spanish Fork Utah, Richmond Virginia RM) joins us to share her story of returning home from her mission after two months because of a desire to improve our culture to help others walking this road.Liberty talks about how much she loved missionary work—but suffered from panic attacks and feelings of suicide—and feelings of drowning. She talks about difficult experience on her mission where she didn’t feel safe or supported. An exception to that was

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01:27:30

Episode 804: Hayden Clark, Solving Porn Use

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler ·

2025/01/09

My friend Hayden Clark (age 30, married, father of one, lives in Mesa Arizona, former Utah Dixie State University football player, Phoenix firefighter and paramedic, stake high councilor), joins us to share his journey to understand and solve his porn use. Hayden talks about his early exposure to porn (age 7) and how this became a coping mechanism to deal with life. Hayden talks about not opening up to his wife about his porn use before their marriage—but finally having the courage to talk about

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