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PODCAST

Rude Tales of Magic

In this improvised narrative role playing podcast, come and join artists, writers, and comedians from Adult Swim, Cartoon Network, Comedy Central, Marvel Comics, and more as they fight and fumble their way across the madcap, and exceedingly rude, fantasy wasteland of Cordelia. Branson Reese and his jester"s retinue, Christopher Hastings, Carly Monardo, Tim Platt, Joe Lepore, and Ali Fisher star as a group of unlikely survivors (a talking crow, a lich in a wig, a bubbly fawn, a Sasquatch punk,

fiction comedy fiction

All Episodes

01:04:21

A Big Bad Baptism

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2025/02/04

With Studio Ghibli (Joe Lepore) and the creature known only as "Ranger" (Tim Platt) in hot pursuit of Agrigenta, it's only a matter of time before they find her and stop her wild machinations. That is, as long as they don't run into a truly strange parade. A strange parade indeed...

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00:52:09

No Lemon, No Party

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2025/01/21

With Lemon captured by the villainous Agrigenta Salumeria and her devious parasite Fingerdale, Linus, Uly, and Paris have no choice but to discuss the evolution of the Sid Meier's Civilizati—rescue her! And when Lemon and her captors reach Pennsylvania Base Camp, you know that can only mean one thing: Intercourse!

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00:48:07

Blood Drive

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2025/01/07

Uh Oh! Our heroes are trapped in the clutches of Sanguina Bob, Paris is still covered in Neon Black, Uly seems to be getting stranger-sorry, more human- by the minute, it's getting to be too much! I just hope, and pray, that plot lines don't begin to shockingly converge!!

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00:06:55

[UNLOCKED] Wealthy Poorson's Nethermurk Almanack: Water

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/12/30

As a special end of year treat for you, our finest listeners, we're unlocking a taste of some of the dee-lectable bonus content you can find on our PATREON!Wealthy Poorson, one of the 10 richest Batpeople in the Nethermurk, used his immense fortune to travel every inch of our wonderful underground world. It has been said that Wealthy Poorson has seen everything there is to see in the Nethermurk—and then some! Realizing that the wealth-challenged may be unable to devote so much of their time to

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01:00:00

Yuletide Kombat 2024: PROM EDITION

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/12/24

Every year, the Rude Tales crew plays Yuletide Kombat Family, an amazing adventure where holiday characters fight each other to save Christmas (I think?). This year, however, the battle is PROM-THEMED! How? Why? Who? Huh? All will be answered in YULETIDE KOMBAT FAMILY IV: PROM!Yuletide Kombat Family is invented, GM’d, produced, and sound designed by Tim Platt. Editing from Sam Grant with special fighting music from Steve DeSiena. BUCKET OF MILK 4 LIFE BABY!

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00:19:17

[PATREON PREVIEW] Goblin With a Fat Ass, GM'ed By Carly!

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/12/18

"Silent night, holy night"? Fat chance! This holiday season, we're treating you to a fully produced bonus game from the Rude Crew: Tom Bloom's "Goblin With A Fat Ass". Run and produced by Rude Tales of Magic's Carly Monardo, this very special episode introduces Rude Tales of Magic: Nethermurk's GM, Christopher Hastings, Joe Lepore (Rude Tales of Magic) and Branson "Rude Tales of Magic" Reese as a trio of disgusting little gobbos, trying to pull off the biggest heist since [whatever the latest Oceans

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00:51:19

Portrait of a Problem

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/12/10

The gang enters the mosquito temple. Will they survive it's many dangers? Well with Paris blinded and covered in unending darkness...could go either way!

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00:55:00

You've Got Nail

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/11/26

As our heroes prepare to enter the Mosquito Temple in search of God's Blood, we turn to a darker corner of these creepy caves. Agrigenta (Carly Monardo) and Studio Ghibli (Joe Lepore) remain trapped in the Neon Black after killing the popular band Containment, but will a mysterious creature known only as "Ranger" (Tim Platt) be able to rescue them? Or does a stranger newcomer (Branson Reese) have other ideas??

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00:52:15

A Light Snack

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/11/12

Alt Title: Somebody's Going to Emergency, Somebody's Getting their Light Eaten

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01:30:20

Blood Tales of Depravity III: A Graveyard Smash

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/10/29

...And so it was foretold, when the clock struck October and that first chill was felt on the wind, when children would gambol about in foolish costumes begging for treats, and Rude Tales of Magic would have a third release week in a month, that they would pause their beloved ongoing narrative (Nethermurk: In Theaters Now!), and turn their tales from Rude...to BLOOD.When three of New York City's most craven monsters: The Invisible Man (Tim Platt), The Abominable Snowman (Joe Lepore), and Boo Berry

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01:02:15

A Nice Dead City On A Lake

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/10/15

Just when they think they've escaped the forest of carnivorous plants, the gang finds themselves in a tiny echo-pocket of air surrounded by a freezing lake full of *gulp* sharks! Will they ever reach Culicidan, City Con Carne? Or are they quickly devoured by sharks and most of this episode is just looping lake wave sound effects? Listen to find out!

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01:14:15

Bush Did It

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/10/01

Our Heroes travel upwards. But in some cruel twist of fate, only greater dangers await them?? Dang! I thought they were already through the vexing obstacles!!!

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00:10:19

Tim Platt's TEETH LIKE BEAK: SNEAK BEAK

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/09/25

This clip contains a sneak peak of my debut comedy album TEETH LIKE BEAK out 9/30. If you're interested, please pre-save on Spotify or pre-order on iTunes!If you're in the NYC area, Tim's doing an album release show/party at Littlefield on 9/30! You can get tix and more info at https://www.eventbrite.com/e/tim-platts-jokes-about-animals-album-release-party-tickets-1003620384587?aff=erelexpmlt

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01:15:21

Catechism and Containment (with Special Guest James...

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/09/17

Mamma Mia! We turn from our heroes' journey to train our narrative eye to another side of the thrilling world of Nethermurk. Following the Dark Elves' capture of peaceful Wingslip, Elfiscuri agents Agrigenta Salumeria (Carly Monardo), Vocal Monument (Tim Platt), and Studio Ghibli (Joe Lepore) attempt to use two VIP prisoners- CONTAINMENT's own Kevin (Branson Reese) and G.G. Containment (James Adomian). But will these two hardcore rockers go gently? Or will things get a bit...uncontained??

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00:56:23

The Secret of the Hot Dogs

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/09/03

Have you ever wondered: what is inside a Hot Dog?

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01:07:27

Welcome to Batplebees

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/08/20

The party, now fully assembled, ventures in to the Bat town of Wingslip for some much-needed sustenance at Batplebee's. But what awaits them there? Danger? Parental Discipline? Delicious Appetizers? ALL THIS AND MORE???

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01:11:10

[New Campaign Premiere] All God's Creatures

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/08/06

WELCOME TO NETHERMURKSo many strange things lie below, cut off from the surface, at home in the deepest, darkest caves. Who would dare tell their story? Surely not the brave and good-looking cast of Rude Tales of Magic. Unless-no! They wouldn't! Would they??? Goddamn. They just might be crazy enough to do it.

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01:07:04

Bears! The Blessing of the Obelisk Part 4

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/07/23

Our heroes finally learn where the honey has been hiding all these many years. But will such knowledge come without a price? And will that price not be a yellow liquid (honey) but a red one (blood)? And hey, what ever happened to that Obelisk anyways?

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00:55:23

Bears! The Blessing of the Obelisk Part 3

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/07/09

When Moriarty Newman makes an offer, is it one you can't refuse? Is it one you'd turn on your allies for? Is it one one that will bring you closer to... honey?

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01:00:26

Bears! The Blessing of the Obelisk Part 2

Rude Tales of Magic ·

2024/06/25

In which the party details their sordid pasts, encounters some avian wildlife, enters a mysterious structure, and meets- no! It can't be! ::gasps::

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