PODCAST

Regular Features

Steve, Log, Joe, Matt and Gav present the podcast that"s the same every week

comedy

All Episodes

00:43:54

587: Mavis Beacon Teaches Bonka Bonka

Regular Features ·

2025/02/17

Are you a victim of shiny ham? Did you think it was like shiny beef (which is fine), ate it, and your hands fell off? Then are we the legal team for you! We will personally sue the pig who produced your ham that went shiny. If they're already dead, we'll sue their piglets. We will get you your money back! But not your hands, those are long gone. Actually, can you bring your hands to our law office? We want to see fallen-off hands, just for our own curiosity. And while you visit, we might play you

00:42:48

586: Goosegate Horsefly

Regular Features ·

2025/02/11

Hello, my name is Betty Boop, the owner of the Regular Features podcast. I am 95 years old but still as sprightly as a bag of Tennessee pickles. Teehee. Anyway it is my pleasure to welcome you to another episode I suppose. In this one, Steve's still on about aeroplanes for some reason, Log discovers the origins of Hockley Nottingham's infamous Goose Gate, and Matt lists the horses from worst to blurst.

01:01:45

585: Three Better Men

Regular Features ·

2025/02/02

This week Bobby Williams' monkey movie has a grip on the Regular Features boys however one of the lads refuses to be caught up in the zeitgeist and has done a feature about Family Fortunes or summin'. This episode of the podcast is dediated to Twins director David Lynch.

00:37:52

584: Whooping Hoof Heraldry

Regular Features ·

2025/01/26

New year, new you? No! Old year, OLD YOU. Open up those earholes and let us slither on in again, like you always do. Change is for the weak. Continuing to listen to Regular Features is strength. Phwoar. Look at you. Have you been working out. In this episode, Joe's got hoofs on the baize, Steve's got lungs out of phase, and Log's got heraldic insights that amaze. Roll tape!

00:39:39

583: The Rambuary Spectacular

Regular Features ·

2025/01/15

This year instead of our annual Ramblemas Special, we bring you the inaugural Regular Features Rambuary Spectacular.

00:47:46

582: It's a Box of Oats

Regular Features ·

2024/12/29

Come and get your oats, mother. I have prepared the oats for thee. They are in the garage, mother. I have set the oats on the floor, behind the Citroen. Pay no heed to the engine noise, mama. Consume the oats and be satisfied. Oh mother, it is dark behind the Citroen. Allow me to illuminate your meal of oats with the car's reversing lights. No, I will not crush you under the Citroen, mother. I would not dare. I am saddened that you would even suggest such foulness. Aha! I am crushing you now,

00:43:10

581: It's Oat So Quiet

Regular Features ·

2024/12/10

I'm uploading this from America, which means that you should now be seeing Coca-Cola streaming from the USB port of your phone. That's free Coca-Cola, so don't miss out. It's going in your shoe! It's going in your shoe!! You got Coca-Cola shoe!!! That's not our fault. Get a glass, now, make the most of it. Oh it's over. Don't blame us, it's your phone, and your shoe, and your Coca-Cola.In this episode, Gav has upset a Reader, Steve sends us on an Oat Quest, and Joe has noticed a pattern in North

00:48:19

580: Well, Well, Well.

Regular Features ·

2024/12/03

This week Joe has a bone to pick with Gav and it's nothing to do with the fact that Gav saw King Charles the other day and didn't spit at him. Matt also invites you to enjoy a game show he's made about a well. Like what the title and the artwork are on about.

00:45:55

579: Tostada Toilet Playground Cats

Regular Features ·

2024/11/21

Hello, this is an episode Regular Features. Please remain seated until your group number is called. In this episode, Log's friend Wolf Blitzer dispenses with his unruly cats. Matt dispenses playground justice. Steve dispenses a helicopter into a mountain. Joe dispenses a lost Elvis Presley recording.

00:30:02

578: Fresh Prince of Hilaire

Regular Features ·

2024/10/29

In this episode, Log gets a cease and knock-it-off from the estate of a former member of house of the England parliament of the member of the right honourable house of members of the house... in Britain! And Steve's friend has been rubbing shoulders with stars on a barge. Barge stars! Legal threats! What more can we give? We're doing our best!!

00:37:27

577: Wicker Enya Nessun Dorma

Regular Features ·

2024/10/16

Horpen up your gorp and slorp it orp, friend, it's a new episode of Regular Features, the podcast that just won't stop. If we stop doing it, we die!In this episode, Steve experiences a sensory deprivation tank. Log's friend visits a mysterious horny island. And Joe translates opera for our swine-ears, our uncultured hog-brains. Meep.

00:45:09

576: Carrott and Stick

Regular Features ·

2024/10/09

Autoglass repair? Okay cool, yeah I'm into this. I'm buying what you're selling. I'm picking up what you're putting down. A repaired windshield, well who could say no to that? What a deal! My beautiful original windshield, restored to its former glory, the idea delights my heart! What's that?! Autoglass REPLACE?! Well hold on just a minute!!!In this episode, Joe gets word from our podcast sponsors that one of us has been electing for dangerous and unapproved head surgeries. Log rediscovers the

00:28:22

575: Come Come Cotswold Cradle Curse

Regular Features ·

2024/09/29

It's another episode of Regular Features, the podcast named "top result" by Spotify when you search for Regular Features in the podcasts section.In this episode, Steve writes an entirely original screenplay for an action movie. Joe dives deep into the horrid curse of the Kennedys. And Log, god love him, Log is simply standing there while this whole thing happens around him. What more can you ask?

00:41:44

574: Legal Sky Eggs

Regular Features ·

2024/09/16

Uptown girl? Yeah, last I heard she's been living in that uptown world. At least that's what everyone's been saying. Apparently she comes home at all hours of the night, stinking of uptown. What's uptown? Not much town, what's up with you!!! In this episode, Joe gets a visit from the enigmatic creator of the new social media network Bluesky, Steve imagines what it might be like if his arms were constantly laden with eggs, and Log gets bemused by a shop.

00:48:03

573: Bring Cigs

Regular Features ·

2024/09/04

Readers! No! Get away from that. You can't have that, it's poison. It's poison to readers. You wouldn't like it.In this episode, Steve got a mpox jab, Joe got a birthpaper, and Log starts sleeping in his talk. Wow.

00:39:13

572: Paiging Sleepy Waymo

Regular Features ·

2024/08/22

We do our best, and so do you. Good. Good you!!!In this episode, Steve talks frankly too much about his trip to America. And Log embarks on a mission to be "read out" on the radio.

00:42:21

571: Olympic Tate Gas

Regular Features ·

2024/08/11

We can't keep meeting like this!! In this episode, Joe wonders what would happen if you did a wet space in orbit. Log ponders on Andrew Tate's beautiful penis. Steve recounts the time we went to the Olympics... and won!

00:39:26

570: Thank Goodness You're Richard Simmons

Regular Features ·

2024/08/05

Knock knock, open wide, see what's on the other side. Knock knock, any more, come with me through the magic door... of Regular Features!In this episode, Log finds out once and for all who dogs love the most, then reveals some behind-the-scenes gossip about the hit new videogame Thank Goodness You're Here. Steve addresses the Simmons in the room.

00:39:06

569: Big and Sticky

Regular Features ·

2024/07/29

And where do you think you've been these past four weeks? Think you can come slinking back into our lives like nothing's happened? That things would be the same again? Well you're right, and we forgive you. But DON'T let it happen again.In this episode, Log catches up with people we've agony aunted, Joe devises some cool new tech for food, and Steve put a ring on it and got a ring put on him, in a ring-putting ceremony theologians are calling "unlikely".

00:50:21

568: Cruisin' for a Susan

Regular Features ·

2024/06/30

I scream. You scream. We all scream. And for what? What was the point of all that screaming? This ice cream? This lowly creeeaam? Pfft. I don't see what's so great about this ice cream that you're all screaming wild about it. Here, let me taste some. Oh... oh wow... AARGGRGHHHHHH.In this episode, Steve gets all ringed up. Joe learns the secrets of inter-animal hypnosis. And Log gets back to basics with a classic Doctor Who script.

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