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PODCAST

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

For over FIFTEEN YEARS, Nobody Likes Onions has been making audiences laugh at the absurd, the obvious, and the wrong. Comedian Patrick Melton, along with other entertainers from around the world, gather around microphones three times a week to present their unique observations and opinions about current events, pop culture, and real-world experiences in their personal lives.

comedy comedy interviews

All Episodes

10:01:19

December 8, 2025: KarmicX & Felicia Gillespie FINALLY...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/12/08

All good things must come to an end, and the short-lived emotional love affair between KarmicX and pretend comedian Felicia Gillespie is no different. After months of back an forths from Minnesota to Ohio, countless chicken sandwiches, roller coasters, aquarium visits, orchestral escapades, and late night scream streams, what we all knew was coming has finally happened. Karmic flew home last week and immediately depression and anxiety overcame the poor boy, and now sparks are flying between the two

en-US

5:39:38

December 6, 2025: Special Saturday Stream! Patrick...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/12/06

Patrick’s internet really sputtered around last night, and there was no Members Only show! So join Patrick on this special Saturday to hang out, catch up with some things that fell through the cracks, as well as some of the latest breaking news in the Dabbleverse. Plus some fats, some dorks, and maybe even some body cam videos. Anything can happen, because it’s Saturday!

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4:30:27

THIS LITTLE PIGGY: A Steel Toe Morning Show...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/12/05

Aaron’s riding high after his big win last week, but will it end up coming back to bite him? Join Patrick, Karl from Who Are These Podcasts? and Moody as they discuss the hilarity of the week from Aaron Imholte and his Steel Toe Morning Show. The man who refuses to get a job never ceases to captivate while ratcheting up his lies and sperg-sessions for our amusement.

en-US

4:46:41

December 3, 2025: Chad’s Hackamania Response! A LOOSE...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/12/03

Chad Zumock is predictable as usual. He’s pretending to accept the terms of Patrick’s offer while making demands he knows aren’t practical. The problem for Chad is that he is a loser with no heat, and demands are not something people with no leverage can throw around. Come spend a cool casual night with Patrick and the Onions while we mope around the internet and see what’s what!

en-US

4:40:43

December 2, 2025: The CHAD ZUMOCK Thanksgiving Arc –...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/12/02

Hopefully your Thanksgiving weekend was full of relaxation and time spent with your family and friends. Not everyone has that luxury, and you should be thankful for it. Chad Zumock, flailing and failing comedian, has spiraled in a spectacular manner over the past ten days, lashing out and dealing with detractors in a manner worthy of chronicling for future scrutiny. From his pretend girlfriend to his new apartment, his lies are catching up with him as fast as he can spin up new ones. The spectacle

en-US

3:24:45

November 26, 2025: Pre-Thanksgiving Spectacular!...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/11/26

It’s time for turkeys! Let’s watch Keanu and Geno prepare poor Thanksgiving for themselves sans-turkey! Let’s watch Josh and Momma tell us what the holidays are really about. We’re on a watch for Chad to show back up at Mersh’s house this afternoon! But most of all let’s just get together for some laughs before all the aggressive family fighting!

en-US

5:46:27

November 25, 2025: Bower’s Hackamania Response! Matt...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/11/25

It’s Thanksgiving week, and everyone is deep in to their shopping and prep game for the biggest gluttony gobbling day in America! Let’s continue checking in to see how it’s going with our favorites! Michael Ray Bower continues his career delusion by declining his invitation to Hackamania. Geno admits he’s the newest lolcow in the Dabbleverse while continuing to dive deeper into irrelevancy with his very smart wife. Matt Mead and his cornstar-for-hire girlfriend continue to

en-US

4:22:25

MUD vs. SPUD: The “Debate” Nobody Asked For!

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/11/25

Chad Zumock, completely out of ideas and tired of losing battle after battle, has taken to challenging detractors to come on his show for a debate as a cover for using them to earn money for himself. Join Patrick as he watches the Dudshark and Cardiff Electric engage in we don’t even know what. What is this? Who asked for it? And why? All Supertips will be split with Cardiff and Rocco because Chad doesn’t make enough money to pay them.

en-US

5:06:40

November 24, 2025: Chad Is SNAPPING! Karmic on...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/11/24

Chad Zumock has been wrecked by his own lack of content, letting the likes of Tommy Jordan and Lady KayBee get him in his feelings. The destabilized wannabe comedian is starting to make life-altering mistakes and it’s sure to end well! Karmic has decided not to come to Hackamania, much like Michael Ray Bower, because he doesn’t consider the offer to be worthy of his presence. Richard Leland Neal is still reeling from his failed copyright strike on this channel, and likens giving Patrick

en-US

3:58:38

November 22, 2025: Saturday Special

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/11/22

Kevin Brennan is an American retired stand-up comedian, podcaster, and writer. He is the host of the Misery Loves Company podcast, and is best known for his work on Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update in 1999 and 2000.

en-US

7:33:38

November 20, 2025: Hackamania HURTS! KarmicX! Geno!...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/11/20

Hackamania has a lot of creators in the Dabbleverse in their feelings and coming out of the woodwork for a free long weekend trip to Las Vegas! Mersh melts down about his perceived lack of respect! KarmicX goes back and forth between melting down and being gracious. Patrick attempts to make him an offer that’s going to hurt to refuse. Keanu gets defensive on Hughzey’s show about her nasty nudes being plastered on the internet. Chad Zumock gets busted on one of his stupid debate streams

en-US

4:49:41

November 17, 2025: Chad Zumock VS. KarmicX VS. Geno...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/11/17

There’s a battle going on for the biggest lolcow baby in the Dabbleverse, and the competition just keeps getting hotter and hotter! Chad Zumock is out in these streets demanding to “debate” people with her tiny intellect, even though she doesn’t even know what he wants to debate about! Watch the cope and see Lady Z herself run from Mersh on MLC! Geno Bisconte is finally crumbling under the constant reminder that he has no fans and nothing going on in life. KarmicX debuts his

en-US

4:26:56

THIS LITTLE PIGGY: Return Of The L’s! (November 13,...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/11/14

Aaron’s riding high after his big win last week, but will it end up coming back to bite him? Join Patrick, Karl from Who Are These Podcasts? and Moody as they discuss the hilarity of the week from Aaron Imholte and his Steel Toe Morning Show. The man who refuses to get a job never ceases to captivate while ratcheting up his lies and sperg-sessions for our amusement.

en-US

3:36:22

KEANU BORES EVERYONE ON HER BIRTHDAY! WEEEEEEEEE!

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/11/13

It’s Keanu’s birthday! So come watch her stream to 33 people! One for every year she’s had on the planet! How UNTOWARD! Weeeeee!

en-US

4:04:15

November 11, 2025: Zumock Be Zumockin’! Metropolitan...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/11/11

Chad Zumock is always good for a laugh. Not on stage, but in his daily life. Let’s watch the hypocrisy and cluelessness together, shall we? Richard Leland Neal is big mad, and he’s forgone his normal one-year-old video release schedule to make a video coping about his recent failure of copyright striking Patrick’s video. There’s only two episodes of Metropolitan Detective left, and Patrick can’t think of a better way to spend his birthday than popping the cork on one

en-US

6:29:22

November 10, 2025: Steel Toe TANKS His Big Win! Matt...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/11/10

Aaron Imholte hasn’t had a win in so long, he’s forgotten how to do it! We return to some good old fashioned RUNG DUNG today as we watch Aaron spin the Friday This Little Piggy episode in to a complete redemption for his insane behavior over the past few years. It’s a sight to behold! Matt Mead, who is Geno Bisconte’s best friend and sidekick on a show nobody watches, has been piping a drugged-out pornstar. Mersh has been joking about stealing her from him and she secretly

en-US

5:09:48

November 5, 2025: KarmicX VS. Pat Dixon! Michael Ray...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/11/05

Karmic has been on the outs with Kevin Brennan, as the old man has begun to play with the northern Minnesota slow like a cat with a ball of redacted yarn. Pat Dixon got the link for MLC with Kevin Brennan again recently to help pile on to KarmicX. This could signal another turning for the podcast most popular for parading loser's lives out for our amusement. Michael Ray Bower has some reflections about his life, and compares himself to comedic genius John Candy. ...

en-US

4:18:06

November 3, 2025: KarmicX Masked Up! Lost Boy Chad...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/11/03

Chad Zumock is glad that people aren't paying attention to him, because he's really been on a rampage against his former fans lately. Call it lack of talent, frustration at meager earnings, or just disdain for women stemming from his lack of game, but The Z-Man is losing it! Momma and Josh discover cookie butter. And did you see Karmic's new mask? What a stud! Hubba hubba! ...

en-US

5:23:11

THIS LITTLE PIGGY: Steel Toe’s FREEDOM Spooktacular!...

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/10/31

Aaron Imholte is out of jail, and of course he's declaring it a win for the toe! With the lowest numbers he's ever had, and hypocrisy galore, things just keep getting better for Steel Toe! Join Patrick, Karl from Who Are These Podcasts? and Moody as they discuss the hilarity of the week from Aaron Imholte and his Steel Toe Morning Show. The man who refuses to get a job never ceases to captivate while ratcheting up his lies and sperg-sessions for our amusement. ...

en-US

5:43:40

October 29, 2025: The KIKI Crash! Keanu & Geno Are DONE!

NOBODY LIKES ONIONS ·

2025/10/29

Keanu and Geno aka The Biscontes cannot stop screwing up! Geno is fresh out of the Cumia compound, finding out just how small his fanbase and talent can get him in the real world. Keanu cannot stop betraying her friends and teaming up with the most hated personalities in the Dabbleverse. With very little options, fans and money, watching this pathetic midwit couple flounder around the internet is peak entertainment for anyone with functioning brain cells. ...

en-US

197 results

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