Neurotic Literature

It ought to be a good, old-fashioned catch-up over a pint. Two old friends, a slightly noisy pub, average ale. Nothing special, but it's the company that matters, isn't it? The chance to exchange news, ask after godchildren, and reminisce about old times.   Maybe it doesn't happen as often as you would like. Maybe you run out of things to say sooner than you used to. That's fine, though, and to be expected; life moves slower when you're in your forties. In some ways, the fact that you can sit in a

There is an old adage that what you hear as a child will stay with you for the rest of your life. 'Careful the things you say,' as Stephen Sondheim so wisely wrote, 'children will listen'. Here is a story about something that a child heard which absolutely stayed with her for the rest of her life - which followed her around, which haunted her - and about a person who definitely wasn't careful about the things they said.   Mary is an ordinary six-year-old girl - not perfect, sometimes self-centred

Lord Trivett's ordinarily bland lifestyle is sent into a tailspin when, out of the blue, he finds himself the subject of a scandalous (and, as far as he is concerned, risible) accusation. The initial litany of humiliations, ranging from smirking children to sulky nannies and off-duty policemen, is bad enough - but little does he realise that there is an even more horrifying discovery awaiting him, hidden inside the nursery...   Yes, this is a story about a bottom. And there's no shame in that. But

haughty - adjective haugh·​ty / ˈhȯ-tē / ˈhɔːti haughtier; haughtiest arrogantly superior and disdainful : having or showing contempt for persons or things perceived as inferior haughty young beauty … never deigned to notice us — Herman Melville it was a look that could only be described ... as haughty — James Lark corpse - noun ˈkȯrps / kɔːps a dead body The inhabitants of Haufzeignet experience their worst day ever when their most precious benefactor and beloved inhabitant dies. Little do they

Introducing Neurotic Literature: stories about people who are almost certainly worse off than you.  Often bizarre, sometimes unsettling, occasionally downright upsetting, these yarns can at least guarantee to provoke a response - and, in an increasingly mechanised world, you can take comfort from the fact that no AI could possibly come up with anything like this. Have a laugh at somebody else's expense, or at the very least, reassure yourself that reality is not quite as bad as all that in