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PODCAST

"Fine" Dining

Michael Ornelas

Comedian Michael Ornelas dives deep into the stories behind your favorite chain restaurants like Domino"s, BJ"s Restaurant & Brewhouse, and Long John Silver"s before determining if they are better or worse than Chili"s: the most mediocre restaurant in America.

arts food

All Episodes

45:32

Outback Steakhouse: "No Rules, Just Right," Survivor,...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/11/05

🥩🦘🍺 Outback Steakhouse: "No Rules, Just Right," Survivor, & Bloomin' Onion Perfection 🍺🦘🥩 This week, I'm joined by VyVy Nguyen (@cest_la_vyvy) to explore the not-so-Australian history of Outback Steakhouse, the restaurant that proves authenticity is optional when the vibes are right. From a "No Rules, Just Right" slogan that's maybe a little too spicy, to Survivor contestants earning an Outback feast as a reward, we dive deep into the steakhouse that brought the Outback to America (without

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01:19:44

Hometown Buffet: Absolute Trash

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/10/29

🥴🍽️🚫 Hometown Buffet: The Absolute Bottom of the Tchotchke of Mediocrity 🚫🍽️🥴 This week, we revisit a meal that has haunted me since 2014: Hometown Buffet, the worst restaurant experience of my life. Joined by Trey Burch, I relive the sleepy Sunday morning buffet that somehow managed to fail at everything. From nonexistent service to questionable sushi, this trip back to mediocrity's basement proves exactly why this chain is extinct (and deserves to be). 📉 The Rise and Fall of Hometown

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51:32

The BEST Restaurant I've Ever Experienced: chi SPACCA

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/10/22

🥩🔥🍎 chi SPACCA: The Perfect 10 on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity 🍎🔥🥩 This week, I finally crown my very first perfect restaurant: chi SPACCA, the Italian butcher by Nancy Silverton and the best dining experience of my life. On Valentine’s Day 2023, I discovered what true excellence tastes like, from cozy, candlelit vibes and flawless service to indulgent bites of steak, marrow, and candied apple pie. It was decadent, joyful, and unforgettable… even if our server’s beef & bone marrow pot pie

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25:00

McDonald's Monopoly: History, Scandal, and...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/10/15

🎩🍟💰 McDonald’s Monopoly: History, Scandal, and Astronomically Bad Odds💰🍟🎩 This week, we peel back the golden arches on one of the biggest promotions in fast-food history: McDonald’s Monopoly. From the McMillions scandal that rocked the 2000s to the shocking odds that make the Powerball look generous, this episode dives deep into the strange world where fries meet finance. We explore the sweepstakes mechanics, the global variations, and the jaw-dropping aftermath of McDonald’s paying out on a

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36:49

Septemburger Semi-Finals & Finals

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/10/08

It's here! The finale of the 2025 Septemburger tournament pits Wendy's against Dairy Queen and Carl's Jr. against A&W. Who will make it to the finals, and more importantly: who will take home the ability to proclaim themselves the best burger chain of the 2025 Septemburger field? I'm joined once again by filmmaker Tyler Eaton to cover Dairy Queen, comedian and author Ali Gordon to chat Wendy's, one of my best friends Herbert Amaya to review A&W, and composer James McEnelly to eat Carl's Jr

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01:39:09

Wendy's: Savage Roasts, French Fry Glow-Up, and Are...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/09/24

🍟🤖🍔 Wendy's: Savage Roasts, French Fry Glow-Up, and Are the Nuggets Perfect? 🍔🤖🍟 This week, Ali Gordon joins me to put Wendy’s through the Chili’s Test. Between Frostys, spicy nuggets, and a fireplace straight out of HGTV, things get interesting. We try three Wendy's burgers for Septemburger, but will they all get a chance in the tournament or will Jack in the Box knock them out? Also, a one-time brand new segment called Rate That Roast! where Ali judges Wendy’s savage social media burns. 📣

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01:29:33

Jack in the Box: See-Through Tacos, Clown Mascot, and...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/09/17

🌮🤡 Jack in the Box: See-Through Tacos, Clown Mascot, and Legendary Curly Fries 🤡🌮 This week, we went to Jack in the Box to try some burgers, and got so much more than we bargained for. I'm joined by Honey Butter Popcorn from the Ragmop & Goose Puppet Adoption Agency and we went deep on the Jack in the Box menu. From a wild history including a name change and blowing up their old mascot, to Yelp reviews that find one specific employee very funny, you're not going to want to miss this one! 🥤 We

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01:35:17

SONIC Drive-In: Full History and Honest Review

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/09/10

🍒 Sonic Drive-In: Full History and Honest Review 🛻 This week, SONIC Drive-In gets the full treatment: history and review, all in one. From the retrofuturistic drive-in vibes and “Two Guys” commercials to a dashboard covered in onion rings, we dive deep into everything SONIC does right, wrong, and in-between. Special guest Marc Pope (Geek Off the Street podcast) joins me for cherry limeades, corndogs, and a Septemburger showdown to see if SONIC can topple Dairy Queen. 🍟 Tater Tots & Onion Rings:

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40:09

Septemburger 2025: The Battle for Hamburger Supremacy

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/09/03

🍔 Septemburger 2025: The Burger Tournament Begins! 🏆 GET HYPED!! It’s that time of year again: Septemburger! The annual hamburger tournament is back, and eight chains are entering this greasy gauntlet. In this episode, I reveal all the contenders, break down how the tournament works, and review the first five burgers of round one. From a slew of mediocre burgers to Santa Claus cutting promos for Arctic Circle, this year is already unhinged in the best way. 🥊 Cook Out (featuring my Dad) vs. A&W

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48:41

Firehouse Subs: Premature Halloween and Sticky Bottles

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/08/27

🚒 Firehouse Subs: Premature Halloween & Sticky Bottles 🎃 This week, Jon Glover (from On Brand with Jon & Marisa) joins me again as we finally taste Firehouse Subs for ourselves. From cops hooking up in the bathroom* to pickle buckets better left unopened, this visit had more than its share of noteworthy moments. The subs didn’t impress us, but the theming did...and somehow Jon confesses to living like a hoarder. 🥪 Jon Gets Defensive Over His Many Sandwich Mods 🎃 A 12-Foot Skeleton Box Blocks the

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52:25

Firehouse Subs: Steamed Meats, Pickle Buckets, &...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/08/20

🚒 Firehouse Subs 🥒 This week, we head into Firehouse Subs to see what the fuss is about. Emmy Award-winning guest and cohost of On Brand with Jon & Marisa Jon Glover joins me to talk steaming meats, charity pickle buckets, Titanic lore, and why being put on hold too long might just drive you insane. Along the way, Jon invents his dream restaurant “Capades” (an ice-themed wonderland), brushes shoulders with James Cameron (not to brag), and gets hot and bothered for firemen. 🚫 Steamed Meats That

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01:08:41

Deep Dish in LA? Reviewing Gino's East of Chicago

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/08/13

🍕 Deep Dish in LA? Reviewing Gino’s East of Chicago 🏀 This week, Jacquis Neal (Host of Dropout's upcoming show Crowd Control) returns as we give our full review of Gino’s East of Chicago in...not Chicago, but Sherman Oaks, California. From the deep dish pizza to the dessert (and the GIARDINIERA RANCH), we talk hits, misses, and whether this spot truly feels like home for two Chicagoans far from the Windy City. We also visit the Calibration Station to hear about Jacquis's worst and best dining

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58:51

Gino's East of Chicago: Graffiti, Deep Dish, & a...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/08/06

🍕 Gino’s East of Chicago: Graffiti, Deep Dish, & Biscuit Crust 🧱 This week, we take a bite out of the legacy of Gino’s East of Chicago — a deep dish pizza joint started by cabbies and made famous by its buttery biscuit crust and graffiti-covered walls. With a flavor profile heavy on cornmeal and sausage (sometimes too much sausage), it’s one of Chicago’s big four pizza spots — but is it the GOAT? Joining me is actor and comedian Jacquis Neal (Dropout, Last Week Tonight) as we dig into this crusty

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01:10:48

Golden Corral: The Ribs Were Trash, the Chicken...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/07/30

🍽️ This Place Sure Had a Lot of Food Items Score a 1-out-of-10 🫠 This week, we return to Golden Corral - this time, to eat. Joined by comedian and podcast host Ben Cassil (@bencassil), I finally test the buffet itself, from rock-hard bread to surprisingly okay tacos. We found joy in the strawberry shortcake Fanta ICEE and the sheer chaos of none of the food being accurately labeled. Also, someone talked to their mom on speakerphone…from the toilet. This one had layers. 🍖 Ribs That Made Us Regret

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01:04:11

Golden Corral Has Won the Buffet Wars

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/07/23

🥩 Golden Corral’s 100-Year Plan & Dumpster Drama 🗑️ This week, we dive into the sprawling buffet empire that is Golden Corral. From hygiene scandals to military youth camps, this chain has been through it all and somehow, it’s still opening new locations. Joining me is Ben Cassil, host of Live from the Big Apple, to help unravel the chain’s bizarre history, including its long-standing relationship with the troops, a giant brawl over steak, and a game of hide-and-seek with their meat because of an

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01:16:26

Trying Jollibee for the First Time

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/07/16

🍑 Better Than Chili’s? We Finally Taste Jollibee 🍗 This week, we're putting Jollibee through the Chili’s Test. From sweet pies that taste like vacation to spaghetti that... didn’t, we finally try the food and decide whether this beloved Filipino chain lives up to its reputation. With special guest Jason Patrick Galit (JPG) guiding the way, we get the full experience, even if we have to be Sweaty Little Boys in the process. It’s juicy fried chicken, a peach mango hand pie that has haunted my dreams

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01:07:43

Jollibee Is a Filipino Treasure

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/07/09

🍗 Jollibee Is a Filipino Treasure 🍗 This week, we dive into the sweet, crunchy, culturally iconic legacy of Jollibee, the Filipino fast food chain with a bee mascot, a cult following, and a spaghetti recipe that would confuse most Americans. But to millions of Filipinos, it’s more than just a restaurant—it’s home. Joining me is Jason Patrick Galit (JPG) from InterMyth, who grew up with Jollibee and has the love to prove it. From his first spaghetti to a fried chicken hand towel, this episode is

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52:56

Nathan’s Famous: One Glorious Glizzy Soars Above the...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/07/02

🌭 Nathan’s Famous: One Glorious Glizzy Soars Above the Rest of the Menu 🌭 We went to the original Nathan’s Famous in Coney Island to find out: is this historic wiener mecca actually good, or are we just chasing a bump from a bygone era? Comedian Marty Cunnie returns as my hot dog soulmate to break down every last bite — from snappy glizzies to horrifying frog legs that still haunt my digestive system. We did not eat 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes, but our bodies definitely thought we did. 🍋 The Coney

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49:34

Nathan’s Famous: How Joey Chestnut Made a Fake...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/06/25

🌭 Nathan’s Famous: The Hot Dog Empire with a Big Secret 🌭 This week, we dive mouth-first into the greasy, glorious history of Nathan’s Famous, the iconic hot dog brand that gave us Al Capone’s favorite beach snack, a gluttonous holiday tradition, and the most American sporting event of all time: the Nathan’s Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest. From shady police bribes to feeding royalty to Joey Chestnut’s triumphant return after an Impossible controversy, this episode covers over a

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59:25

Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken: The Most Consistent...

"Fine" Dining ·

2025/06/18

🍗 Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken: Nothing Was Bad?! 🍗 We went to Gus’s World Famous Fried Chicken—and literally nothing made it into the “Not Good” category. Nothing! Comedian and improviser Dave Theune (St. Denis Medical, NBC/Peacock) joins me to talk about his first foray into eating dark meat, crispy fried okra, spicy batter, and the kind of service that borders on too attentive (but we loved it). The waiter even coaxed out my Star Wars hot take. Is Gus’s better than Chili’s? That’s the

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