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PODCAST

All of You

allofyoupodcast

Welcome to the All of You Podcast with Dave and Shiv Martinell! A few years and one too many fights ago, our relationship led us on personal journeys toward self awareness, healing, and personal growth. We started to see that the more we healed, the better we started showing up not just in our relationship, but in the workplace, in our friendships, with our daughters, and most importantly for ourselves. Our hope is that in sharing our own raw and vulnerable truths, others will be inspired, feel

education self-improvement

All Episodes

53:26

Ep.107 What makes a good man and are there any out...

All of You ·

2026/05/11

When Shiv’s hot take from a previous episode sparked a bigger conversation, we knew we had to go there. In this honest and unfiltered episode, Shiv and Dave dive into the question so many women quietly (or loudly) ask… are there actually good men out there?Together, they unpack the beliefs, wounds, experiences, and expectations that shape how we see men, relationships, and what it really means to be “good.” From challenging assumptions to exploring what personal growth actually looks like on both

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53:44

Ep.106 Why we broke up and why we tried again

All of You ·

2026/05/04

In this episode, we’re sharing the story of our breakup, what led to the relationship ending, what we didn’t fully understand at the time, and some of the hard truths we both had to face after walking away. We talk about the heartbreak, the confusion, the season of no contact, what made Shiv decide to reach back out, and what gave us the confidence to believe trying again could actually be different.If you’re navigating a breakup, questioning your relationship, or wondering if people can truly

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53:12

Ep.105 Taking accountability without getting defensive

All of You ·

2026/04/27

Taking accountability without getting defensive is one of the hardest and most important skills in relationships. In this episode, we talk about what it really looks like in real life, especially in those moments where your instinct is to shut down or push back. We break down how defensiveness is often just self-protection rooted in shame, and how it can quietly get in the way of feeling close and understood. We also get into how to take accountability even when you don’t fully agree and how to care

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53:40

Ep.104 The power of nervous system awareness

All of You ·

2026/04/21

Nervous system awareness might be one of the most underrated relationship skills and one of the most powerful. When you start to recognize what’s happening in your body in real time, everything shifts. You move from reacting on autopilot to responding with intention, creating more safety, clarity, and connection in your relationships.In this episode, we zoom out on why understanding your internal cues can help prevent unnecessary conflict, soften communication, and break reactive patterns before

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54:01

Ep.103 The skill that will change your relationship:...

All of You ·

2026/04/13

Not taking things personally is one of the most foundational (and most challenging) relationship skills. In this episode, we explore what it really looks like to give your partner the benefit of the doubt and hold a steady, loving view of them even when you feel triggered. Because the truth is, when something feels personal, it’s often less about what’s happening in the present and more about what feels familiar from the past. Old wounds, insecurities, and fears of rejection can turn neutral moments

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66:42

Ep.102 The ways we control our partner

All of You ·

2026/04/07

In this episode, we explore the many ways control quietly shows up in our relationships and why it’s usually not about power, but protection. Beneath the surface, control is often rooted in fear, past wounds, and a deep desire to feel safe. We unpack how these patterns can look both obvious and incredibly subtle, and how they can slowly chip away at connection, trust, and intimacy.Ready to do the work and go deeper in your own healing? Book a consultation call with us: Dave:

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63:19

Ep.101 Good partners are never even

All of You ·

2026/03/30

In this episode, we explore the quiet ways scorekeeping can creep into relationships and why the healthiest partnerships are rarely ever “even.” What starts as tracking chores or effort is often something deeper: the desire to feel seen, valued, and supported. We talk about how resentment builds when needs go unspoken, how overfunctioning can create imbalance, and why love feels lighter when it’s not weighed down by silent tallying.We also shift the focus from keeping score to creating connection

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63:29

Ep.100 Conversations with God

All of You ·

2026/03/23

We’ve officially hit 100 episodes! To celebrate, in this episode we pull back the curtain on the journey that started it all. We share how we felt called to begin this podcast, the ways we experienced God guiding us along the way, and what it looked like to trust something bigger than ourselves.We open up about the fear, the uncertainty, and the moments that stretched us while also reflecting on how deeply fulfilling it’s been to listen, surrender, and follow that call. This episode is a heartfelt

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63:40

Ep.99 Navigating hard seasons in a relationship

All of You ·

2026/03/16

In this episode, we talk about the reality that every relationship goes through different seasons. Some feel light and easy, while others are stretching and difficult. Learning to recognize and name the season you’re in can shift the way you experience it and help you remember that hard moments don’t mean something is wrong with the relationship.We also share how we’ve learned to navigate the tougher chapters together and discuss some of the things that have helped us move through those seasons

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36:21

Ep.98 If you never argue in your relationship, that’s...

All of You ·

2026/03/09

Everyone says they want a conflict-free relationship, but the truth is that if two people are truly being themselves, conflict is inevitable. You would have to be the exact same person to never disagree. In this episode, we talk about why conflict isn’t the problem in relationships and what actually is.For both people to feel authentic and autonomous, there has to be space for differences and honest conversations. Because when a couple never argues, it often means someone is hiding,

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58:49

Ep.97 Holding your view of your partner

All of You ·

2026/03/02

In this episode, we explore why maintaining a positive view of your partner is one of the most protective forces in a relationship and how easy it is to lose.We talk about the subtle ways resentment, unspoken expectations, triggers, and everyday stress can slowly shift the lens you see your partner through, and what it actually takes to find your way back to seeing each other with softness, curiosity, and goodwill. Ready to do the work and go deeper in your own healing? Book a consultation call

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51:48

Ep.96 As you heal what you attract changes

All of You ·

2026/02/23

Why do the relationships that once felt electric start to feel exhausting as you grow? This conversation was sparked by watching Wuthering Heights and realizing just how differently we define love, chemistry, and passion now compared to earlier versions of ourselves.In this episode, we talk about why intensity can stop feeling like chemistry, how peace starts to feel way more appealing, and what it looks like to outgrow old relationship patterns without shaming who you used to be. A real, honest

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52:16

Ep.95 What vulnerability requires

All of You ·

2026/02/16

Vulnerability sounds simple, but in real life it’s layered, tender, and requires more than just one person being willing to open up. In this episode, we explore what actually creates the conditions for people to feel safe enough to be seen and why trust is something that’s built in small, quiet moments, not forced breakthroughs.We talk about the ways defensiveness, ego, and lack of presence can get in the way, and what it really looks like to hold space for someone you love. A grounded, honest

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51:59

Ep.94 Q&A

All of You ·

2026/02/09

This episode is a rapid-fire Q&A sharing an honest snapshot of where we’re at right now, both individually and in our relationship. We talk about what’s been activating us, patterns we’re noticing, beliefs we’re outgrowing, and what feels tender, easier, or still requires intention in this season.We also keep it light with some fun questions: the habits we’re low-key judging, things we definitely overthought, simple joys bringing unexpected happiness, and yes…even ways that we annoy each other

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44:47

Ep.93 The beliefs that once kept you safe now keep...

All of You ·

2026/02/02

Our limiting beliefs and insecurities don’t come out of nowhere—they’re learned, often in moments where we were trying to protect ourselves.In this episode, Dave and Shiv explore how these patterns form and why they can feel so hard to break. Dave shares how his beliefs around working out kept him from going to the gym for years, while Shiv opens up about how past trauma led her to suppress her feelings and avoid vulnerability. We talk about how these thoughts once helped us feel safe, but can

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53:25

Ep.92 Making peace with your past

All of You ·

2026/01/26

In this episode, Dave and Shiv share why making peace with your past is foundational to healing, emotional safety, and healthy relationships. They explore how unresolved experiences quietly shape the way we show up, love, and protect ourselves. Shiv vulnerably shares some of the hardest parts of her own past to make peace with, and what that process has actually looked like in real life. This conversation is an invitation to soften toward your story, release what no longer needs to define you, and

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46:08

Ep. 91 When things get toxic

All of You ·

2026/01/20

This episode explores what people usually mean when they say a relationship feels toxic and how to tell when something is no longer just difficult, but unhealthy. The conversation looks at the difference between conflict that leads to repair and patterns that repeat without real change.It also touches on what happens when emotional safety is missing, including walking on eggshells, editing yourself, and slowly disconnecting from your own needs. An honest, grounded conversation meant to bring

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51:13

Ep.90 The most underrated relationship skill: Holding...

All of You ·

2026/01/12

Holding space is one of the most powerful and misunderstood relationship skills. In this episode, Shiv and Dave break down what emotional validation really is, why it’s what every partner wants when they are upset, and what makes it so hard to offer in the moment.They explore the blocks to holding space, from personalizing and ego stories to emotional immaturity and share real examples from their own relationship around home, family, and navigating hard conversations without defensiveness. You’ll

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63:03

Ep.89 Family Estrangement: When distance becomes...

All of You ·

2026/01/05

Family estrangement is one of the most painful and complex relationship experiences a person can walk through, and this episode approaches it with honesty, compassion, and deep care.Dave shares his personal journey with family estrangement, what it has cost him, what it has taught him, and how he’s been able to create healthier relationships on the other side. Shiv and Dave explore estrangement from the perspectives of the parent, adult child, and sibling, and the emotional dynamics that often

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53:42

Ep.88 Our Take on New Year’s Resolutions

All of You ·

2025/12/29

The New Year tends to arrive with a lot of pressure — to change faster, do more, fix everything, and somehow become a brand-new version of yourself overnight. In this episode, we slow the whole thing down and offer a different perspective on what this season is actually for.We talk about why this time of year is better suited for rest, reflection, and intention than rigid goal-setting, and how many of the resolutions we’re taught to make are rooted in shame, comparison, and fear of being behind

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