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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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1:12

I wish you unwell

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/25

To the people who misconfigure and screw up the laundry center’s payment controls, broken tap panels and slots and readers, I wish you unwell.So unwell, you end up sick and dying in a hospital bed. I’d rig your bed control to blink a light and make a motor sound, but not actually adjust. I’d rig your nurse call button to make a beep, but not actually call the nurse. I’d rig your morphine dispensing button to make a beep, but not actually dispense pain medication. I’d

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1:15

The twin

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/24

The company I work for used to be a startup cowboy coder place.But over time, it has descended into a progressive woke leftist place. Every straight white male has a target on his back. And all it takes is one wrong word, and you’re gone. I worked with these identical twins, I can’t tell them apart. Both talented coders. But they had anger issues. One, more than the other. So, he said one wrong word, followed it up with others, and was gone. Which means I know which one I’m

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1:15

Solve the problem

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/23

Angelo, he was a good soldier.He worked for the captain, he did what he was asked to do. Kill, steal, whatever. The captain took orders from the underboss, and the underboss talked to the boss. When the boss had phone trouble, he called the phone company. And the FBI told the phone company “We got this.” And an agent wired in a bug to the line. When the boss had a problem, Angelo got the orders. FBI agents they’d finally gotten the boss. That’s when Angelo knocked on their

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1:13

Covid 20

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/22

I don’t think the Chinese went far enough when they engineered and released COVID-19. I’m hoping that they find a way to perfect it, and target COVID-20 at stupid, greedy, and annoying people. Pundits on the television commentaries, the columnists at the newspapers… all falling down dead. The guy that makes a left turn from the right lane suddenly slumping on to his steering wheel and coasting to a stop. Telemarketers, people who let their barking dogs out at 3AM and don’t

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11:52

Weekly Challenge #1026 – Candle

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/21

RichardLisa Tom Lizzie Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is PICK TWO Siren Locked Vending Machine Journey’s end Bullet train NORVAL JOE Mandy looked from the magnifying glass at the table. The figurine was gone. Everyone else was concentrating on the jewelry box and hadn’t noticed. Looking back in the glass, the figurine was still there. Looking back at the table. It had returned. She next looked at a candle stick which also disappeared from the table until she looked again through

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1:13

Survived by

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/20

i used to wonder about obituaries that appear days or months after the person had died. When my sick evil father died, I wondered what pack of lies and bullshit would appear in his obituary. So, after a few weeks, I searched for it. And didn’t find anything. Well, I wasn’t about to write one. And my brother wasn’t either. His widow? A dementia-ridden crone only capable of digesting expensive food and shitting everywhere. Whether prompt or delayed, they all still say “survived

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1:19

Loving family

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/19

Word got out that Cindy died.The notice said that she was surrounded by family. Some people envision a hospital bed, where everyone’s standing around and telling her that they love her. A beautiful scene, no. While I envision a cage in the basement, where all her family members have spears to poke through the bars. “OUT, DEMON!” they all shout. “Let our Cindy go!” And stab Cindy repeatedly until she succumbs to her wounds. Anastasia, the Russian Princess, she died

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1:17

Verlander the slut

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/18

Morganna Roberts was known as The Kissing Bandit.The huge-breasted ex-stripper would run on to the field to kiss the players. Or coaches. Or mascots, like the San Diego Chicken. She’d sometimes get injured. Or the security guards took her away. And she was charged with trespassing or some other charge that would eventually get dropped. Or she’d pay the fine out the money she made from public appearances and her line of cosmetics and souvenirs. She made millions. And then, there’s

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1:08

Support role

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/16

When I was an IT Manager, I didn’t do much managing.I was the only IT person for most of that job, and had half a headcount to cover for me when I was out sick or on vacation. I wrote up documentation that nobody read, offered training that they never learned from. And every call was an emergency when it wasn’t. When I’d help the person, I’d make sure they used the keyboard and mouse because they needed to do the thing. Plus, if you stand behind someone and point at the

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1:14

Not a miracle

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/15

It was the first night of Hanukkah, and Ted only had a few candles. He cut them into smaller pieces, and he did his best to make them last all 8 nights. “God made the oil last for 8 days,” said Ted. “So I figure he’ll make these candles last, too.” But God didn’t. The candles were all used up after 3 days. Ted went outside and wondered why God didn’t make them last. A bush in the front yard caught fire. “Because you used candles instead of oil,

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11:00

Weekly Challenge #1025 – Correlation

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/14

RichardLisa Tom Lizzie Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Candle LISA Homework Mum and Dad were arguing so Michael went upstairs to learn this week’s spellings. He hated English with its pointless silent letters: it was altogether too tricky. He googles word after word but gets stuck on ‘Correlation’. He sounds it out slowly before spelling it aloud. He’s struggling to get the meaning so can’t put it in a sentence. When it gets quieter in the house he goes downstairs only to find

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1:18

Auction block

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/13

The Pirates of the Caribbean ride has been updated and upgraded over the years. The figures and songs adjusted to modern sensibilities. Instead of a pirate chasing a woman around, it’s an angry woman with a broom chasing a pirate. Women robots harassed throughout the town, replaced with animals or other nasty pirates. And instead of women being auctioned, it’s now a lady pirate auctioning off chickens. What happened to the old robots? Too old for reuse, some were thrown out. Then

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1:27

Shoot to kill

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/12

Agencies want to know three things:Are you willing to kill? Are you able to kill? And can you do it without leaving a trace back to you or them? Marco’s Imports likes to test new talent by assigning someone they’d personally want dead. An uncle who’d molested them as a child. A detested cousin. To them, it’s all about family. The Diamond Exchange sends their candidates after the homeless, the drug addicts. People nobody would miss. My outfit, Consulting Limited, prefers the

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1:18

The ship we are

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/11

I cannot describe the ship.Its surface absorbs all light. Its shape, indeterminate. One moment, I was standing outside if it, I put my hand out… And the next, I was inside of it, looking out through a clear surface that surrounded me. I was standing, but on nothing. No lights, but I could see all around me. And breathe. I felt myself melting, becoming one with the ship. Knowing everything it knew. Let’s go somewhere, I thought. Suddenly, I was out in the stars. So much darkness, so much

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1:09

Pineapple

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/10

My previous job would send employees on a two week trip to Hawaii after ten years of service.When I got to nine and a half years of service, I quit. You see, I hate long plane rides. I also hate long vacations. And I’m allergic to weird foods, such as poi. They offered to fly me anywhere, but there really isn’t anywhere I’d want to go. I asked if they’d pay for some tickets to Astros games, but they said they’d get back to me. But shortly after that conversation, I

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1:07

Wedding planner

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/09

Brittany was a wedding planner for dogs. Crazy dog owners would get their dogs hitched with other dogs, and she’d plan out the party, get the guests invited (and their owners), and hired the caterers. The flower girl would throw around flowers, the happy couple came in, and the preacher would say a bunch of stuff before asking if anyone had any objections… That’s when I shout out “WHAT THE FUCK? IT’S A FUCKING WEDDING FOR DOGS!” Brittany said I was a bigot, a

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1:13

Nothing to waste

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/08

In his will, Freddy hated to waste anything. He said he didn’t want to waste a good suit and nice shoes. Or any wood or metal for the coffin. And all those chemicals they’d pump into him, didn’t they waste enough of them trying to save him in the hospital? Wrapping him in a sheet and burying him, that would be a waste of land and the stone to mark it. So they filled his body with explosives and dropped him on a mosque in Gaza. That was preaching hate around the clock, and training

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10:48

Weekly Challenge #1024 – Cool

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/07

RichardLisa Tom Lizzie Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Correlation LISA Boxing Day The house was clinically clean; guests were due at midday. Mum had baked 36 mince pies – we’d all secretly had ‘just one’ as they cooled. Just before 12 Mum bellowed. ‘Who’s had a mince pie?’ We all gathered at the kitchen door to admit our misdemeanour to discover there were NO MINCE PIES LEFT. The dog ran downstairs leaving a brown trail behind him then leapt onto the sofa and proceeded to sick

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1:16

Cruella ads

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/06

I see advertisements for Cruella all over the place. They’re fucking obnoxious and ugly. I don’t know anyone who saw Cruella in the theatre. I don’t know anyone who paid extra to see Cruella on Disney Plus. I don’t know anyone who paid for the Cruella DVD. I don’t know anyone who watched Cruella on Disney Plus for free. Hell, I know people who will bite out their tongue and bleed to death if they tie them up and force them to watch it. How the hell can these Disney

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1:10

Impact

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/12/05

Books open people to new ideas and worlds.I think back to the books that impacted my life. The Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary that had so many words to learn and use. The encyclopedias in the library that taught me so much about history and science. The Bible, which taught me about faith and religion, but also of excuses to be hateful and fearful of others. The one that impacted me the most? I never actually caught the title. Only the blows to my head and body when my mother couldn’t

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