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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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8:32

Weekly Challenge #1016 – Listed

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/10/12

RichardLizzie Tom Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is A melted chocolate bar SARAH I've always been ambitious, one who sets their sights on achieving the almost impossible, and my current objective could be challenging. You see, I'm determined to get myself listed on the FBI's most wanted list. The competition is stiff, but I reckon I'm up to the task, it's just a matter of coming up with the right strategy. Should I become a serial killer, a terrorist, a

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1:12

Cinco no mayo

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/10/11

Most secret sauces include mayo. Most special sauces include mayo. I'm allergic to eggs, so I'm allergic to mayo. I used to love mayo, but now I despise it. I fear it. I loathe it. I truly detest mayo and what it does to my body. If I say no mayo, I mean no mayo. NO MAYO! IN ANYTHING! No mayo, no mayo sauces, no mayo dressings, no mayo anything. If your clothes are made out of miracle mayo fiber, you'd better be bare-assed naked when you hand me my burger. With no mayo on it. Or secret special

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1:13

I hate the Hallmark Channel

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/10/10

Just as fast food commercials lure you into eating food that causes diabetes, heart disease, and strokes, the Hallmark Channel movies lure you into feeling guilt, regret, and a mistaken desire to forgive and reconnect with the toxic people who fucked you up as a kid. I'd love to see a parody of these movies where someone goes back to that small town, sees how shitty everyone was and still is to them, doesn't fall for their nostalgia trap, and leaves. Oh, and they bang that still hot old flame

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1:11

The tambourine player

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/10/09

Billy played bass. Roger played the drums. John was lead guitar. And he wrote all the songs. Mark did keyboards and vocals. And Janet did the tambourine. Everybody got paid equal shares. After a while, John got pissed off at Janet because she didn't want to sing. "You just bang a tambourine," he said. Sure, she looked good on stage. And on the posters and album covers. But getting paid the same as the songwriter-guitarist and the keyboard-playing vocalist, they got mad and let her go. Janet banged

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1:08

Like a bad neighbor

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/10/08

When I see some famous athlete or celebrity in an insurance company's commercial, I hope that they suffer some grievous injury or loss. A season-ending break, or a raging wildfire that destroys their mansion. And they have to suffer through the same claims process and rejection that ordinary people suffer through. But the thing is, they won't. They'll scream how they're the famous athlete or celebrity in the commercials. And get special treatment. The insurance company paying out more millions to

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1:08

Give a shit about

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/10/07

I don't give a shit what you are, what color your skin color is, what gets you off (as long as it's not kids), what you pray to, and where you are. All I care is: do the job. Go to the toilet and pray to Neptune the sea god for all I care. Just get out of the way when I need to take a shit. As for your multicolored separate diversity flags, the only flag I fly is at Pancho's Mexican Buffet which is used to signal the wait staff to bring more chips and refills for drinks.

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1:23

Grimbles

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/10/06

Grimbles Academy boasts an excellent teaching reputation, graduation rate, and college placement test score averages. This is due to the massive Alfonse Grimbles Endowment. They can afford the best of everything. The best facilities, the best teachers. But not quite the best students. You see, the Endowment requires that at least one Grimble is enrolled at all times. Which is awkward, since Alfonse left everything to the Endowment and left his descendants destitute. The well-to-do student body

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9:57

Weekly Challenge #1015 – Five stars

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/10/05

Richard Lizzie Tom Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Listed RICHARD --- Star quality --- We started rating the kids' chores around the house: one to five stars. It's gives them an incentive to do things well, and the number of stars they get is reflected in their pocket money. It's working well. Dishes are always washed, bedrooms are kept remarkably clean and tidy and any time there's an errand to be run, there's no shortage of volunteers. In fact, it's worked

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1:26

The shitty cook asshole

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/10/04

I hated Brussels Sprouts. I also hated any boiled vegetable. Raw, I liked. Put a salad in front of me any day. But boiled vegetables? Awful. Still think that these days. So, when my mother said "Well, you need to try different things" and I tried it and hate it, what kind of asshole MAKES IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN? What? It doesn't taste like mushy vomit the second and third and eleventy billionth time? And if I don't like it, I'm the one who's wrong? What? No, mother... you were a fucking

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1:13

Faith healer

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/10/03

Ah, faith healers. Claiming to do God's will. The thing I've never understood about faith healers is when they grow old and end up in the hospital with something terminal. "Can't you just heal yourself?" I want to ask them. But I already know their answer. They all say it... God wants them back. Then why go into the hospital? I mean, if it's God's will, why resist with doctors and nurses and medicine and surgery? But I know it's all a lie... because I was a nurse. And I gave a faith healer sugar

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11:26

Weekly Challenge #1014 – PICK TWO Street life, Pox,...

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/28

RichardLisa Lizzie Tom Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Five stars RICHARD --- Non-Standard --- Why do they call it a standard lamp? It's anything but. There's a bewildering variety of the damm things... Edwardian, art deco, modern, minimalist, futuristic, or that old classic timeless design. Do you want softwood, hardwood, metal or something more exotic? A contemporary stylish glass shade, or a big, old fashioned flowery one? Tungsten, LED,

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1:20

Prisoner exchange

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/27

The prisoner exchange took place on the bridge. Soldiers and snipers and floodlights everywhere. Two men shook hands in the middle of the bridge and waved to their respective sides. A line of men in chains with bags over their heads walked South. One man in a suit and tie walked North. When the line of men reached their side, the chains were removed, the bags were lifted, and their families saw them and hugged them and thanked God. "Did you use my latest formula?" the man in the suit said. "Yes,"

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1:18

Book of life

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/26

Deep, in the deepest cave, there lies The Book Of Life. If you are written in The Book Of Life, you will live. If you are removed from The Book Of Life, you will die. Twenty monks watch the book constantly. The same twenty have watched for as long as people have known about The Book. They wrote their names in The Book, and have never removed them. Don't try to go down to the cave, because the monks will remove your name. We send down food and water, they send their gratitude. And we all live our

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1:10

Leroy the racist

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/25

Leroy Brown called every white person a racist. When he wasn't screaming it at white people, he was shouting it at the television. Neighbors who complained were in cahoots with the racist white folk. Cops who came to tell him to quiet down were sent by the racist white folk. But nobody did anything, because they didn't want to be called a racist. Leroy called the mailman a racist for walking on his property. The mailman said the mailbox was by his front door. So, from then on, he threw the mail on

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1:10

The clone law

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/24

The Clone Law states that no clone may be activated as long as the source is alive. When Roger 7 woke up Roger 8, it meant death to one or the other. Roger 8 climbed out of the copytank and looked around. Just a note: "Meet me at the drugstore." So, Roger 8 showered, got dressed, and walked to the drugstore. Where he was met by the police. "You have the right to remain silent," they began. Roger 8 tried to explain he didn't kill his wife. It was his source. "Well, then," said the police. "Then

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1:09

Meeting conflict

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/23

I'm on a lot of teams, and I have a lot of meetings. They're usually pretty good about scheduling them so they don't conflict, but sometimes, it's unavoidable. Nobody ever says the other team's meeting is more important, so go see them. If I pick one meeting, I get follow messages about super important stuff from the other meeting. And vice versa. So, I started filling a coin to decide. Heads, one team. Tails, the other team. Then I use the coin to scratch off a lottery ticket. And pray that I don't

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1:16

Kooky cookie

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/22

Governments are passing laws about data collection consent. And browsers are making it easier to block all cookies and data collection. So, we added a consent popup to our site. Do you allow this site to collect data and store cookies on your browser? And it saves your choice... as a cookie. People complained that they had to tell it no every time they came to the site. "That's because we store your answer as a cookie... and you're blocking cookies." They complain over and over about it. But we

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11:46

Weekly Challenge #1013 – Random words

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/21

RichardLisa Lizzie Tom Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is PICK TWO Street life Pox Behind That old classic… Standard lamp RICHARD Random Words Every week I go through the same process. I retrieve the old cardboard box from its place under my desk, give it a good hard shake, remove the lid and close my eyes. Reaching into the box, I rifle around its contents and pull out a selection of folded postcards, and then I can open my eyes. The postcards have a

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1:39

Greta

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/20

Oh, Greta. You little Nazi. Hitler Youth wet dream, blonde and blue-eyed. Chiseled features, the Nordic ideal. Danish? Dutch? It doesn't matter which master race you come from. Like any child star, you've memorized your lines. Your father's words, hurled at the audience from your mouth like a plunger thrusting sewage down a clogged toilet. America is bad. America is evil. The America full of universities researching solutions to the ills you blame it for. While Chinese factories spew more poison and

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1:14

George the pollster

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/09/19

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. His captain asked him how the crew felt, and George conducted a poll. "Your approval ratings are down," said George. "Maybe if we had a battle," said the captain. "That always boosts approval ratings for politicians." So, the captain set course for the nearest ship and they fought it. They won, but took heavy casualties. George polled the crew again. And the numbers were even lower. "But we won a battle!" said the captain. "Yes," said George

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