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PODCAST

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Confetti Cannon

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya features a pair of grizzled gay ghouls sitting on chairs, holding microphones, and discussing their fabulous lives in Tinseltown. (featuring occasional forays into movies, television shows, and air-conditioning) The New York Times called them models, moguls, actors, influencers, drag queens, RuPaul"s Drag Race contestants, and even humanoids. If one thing can be said about these two preternaturally gorgeous queens" podcast, it"s that Trixie and Katya

comedy comedy interviews

All Episodes

64:17

Juno Birch Is a Little Less Blue with Trixie

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/05/19

Once upon a time, today's exceptionally iridescent guest was twilight-blue and hidden behind a cloak of pastel azure. Now that cerulean shell has loosened, revealing shades of the full spectrum long hidden. Emerging like a butterfly from the secret cathedral of her cyan cocoon, Juno Birch arises splendid and majestic, opening her wings in a pageant of sunlit defiance and pride. Also, she tells a harrowing tale of getting food poisoning and sh*tting the bed.Follow Juno: @JunoBirch Need a website

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63:05

IMHO's Darby and Alexis Summon Charcuterie Spirits...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/05/12

The city of Burbank was sweating secrets, and somewhere beneath the flicker of a dying neon sign, IMHO: The Podcast's Darby Lynn Cartwright & Alexis Bevels were cooking up a scheme with Katya’s name written all over it. Their plan was simple, dirty, and dressed in bad lighting: remove Katya from the equation and slide into The Bald and the Beautiful like two dames with alibis and microphones. Trixie, alone in the studio, never saw the plot curling through the room like cigarette smoke in a cheap

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67:05

Courtney Act is Eminently Keen with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/05/05

In today's class, myriad topics of interest and erudition will be covered, but first we shall crack open Miss Act's Rules of Grace and Refinement Vol. 1, beginning with the phrase, “Are you keen?” The word 'keen' derives its romantic force from the ancient adjective meaning 'eager' or 'interested'. By the twentieth century, however, especially in colloquial British vernacular, “keen on” had become an informal shorthand for affection and/or erotic preference, thereby avoiding the vulgarity and

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55:38

Thank you for Choosing Bald Airlines with Trixie and...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/04/28

Ladies and gentlemen, as we taxi to the gate we'd like to thank you for choosing Bald Airlines, where every seat is first class and includes botox, estate planning, legally-binding mortuary consultation, a yacht sommelier, and a complimentary Fabergé pelvic floor egg. Please take a moment to check your overhead bins for any personal belongings, and don't forget to take your live harpist with you as you deplane. On behalf of all of us here at Bald Airlines, we hope you’ll avoid the humiliation of

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56:13

An Open Letter to the Emmys with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/04/07

Dearest esteemed leadership of the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. We respectfully and fervently request the honor of serving as presenters for the Lead Actress category during the primetime telecast of the 2027 Emmy Awards: roles for which we have physically, cosmetically, and emotionally been preparing for our entire lives. Given the extraordinary performances from Lisa Kudrow in The Comeback and Jean Smart in Hacks, we can scarcely imagine a greater privilege than to stand at

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49:53

A Triumph of Pure Delight with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/03/31

What you are about to hear is the absolute apex of what humanity has frequently referred to as "joy." The following sixty-ish minutes of audio and video are a glorious, overflowing symphony of happiness so immense it almost seems too dazzling for this earthly plane. It is delight at its most majestic and uncontained, brimming with an ecstatic brightness that will make every corner of your spirit feel lit from within with the glow of sparkling merriment. This episode is the very essence of glee

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59:40

The Bride and the Betrothed with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/03/24

Ms. Trixie Mattel and Ms. Katya Zamo kindly request the distinguished honor of your presence at their most magnificent nuptial celebration, where the theme shall be "Baroque Techno Jurassic Gothic Cyborg Barbie Vampire." It will be held at the abandoned Hawthorne Plaza Mall in Hawthorne, CA, where the decor shall scream "gilded ruin of Baroque splendor where pink-hued creatures of the night have mated with cyborgs in orgiastic bliss." Guests are respectfully encouraged to appear in formal attire

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55:59

The Squirtle Spurtle with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/03/17

If you thought oatmeal recipes couldn't be sensual, you'd be dead wrong. Dim the lights, burn that bergamot arousal candle from your cousin's bachelorette party, and bring 1 cup of steel-cut oats to a slow, smoldering simmer in 4 cups of creamy, luscious whole milk. Add just a pinch of sea salt, and let the ingredients relax into a luscious, velvet-thick porridge so opulent it's no wonder this recipe won the World Porridge Making Championship. Once you achieve the ideal level of viscosity, stir in

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47:42

A Motherforking Clusterfluff with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/03/10

Welcome back to another motherflocking, cockadoodle, son-of-a-biscuit episode of The Bald and the Beautiful, where our dolls yap their pretty little ash-offs about fame, folly, and every half-baked batshirt thought that ricochets around in their glamorous skull caverns. Listen as every ding-dang topic gets dragged through the glittery mud by two world-class gobshites armed with surgically-hilarious horseshirt opinions that make you think, "Holy shiitake mushroom she has a point." It is a

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53:50

The Last Rites of Eternal Chaos with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/03/03

You are cordially invited to attend a most distinguished yet eminently fake wake in honor of Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova, the undisputed queens of chaos, podcasts, and mirth. We shall convene in a chapel that smells faintly of Red Bull, stale makeup, and air conditioner refrigerant. Guests will enjoy a program of refined absurdities including a dramatic reading of Whitney Houston's 2001 BET Awards acceptance speech, a panel discussion on Taco Bell entitled, "Beans, Cheese, and

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62:12

This One Goes Out to All the Buttholes with Trixie...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/02/24

I am the ring that no laurels adorn,A puckered little star at the edge of the form.No medals are pinned to my tireless skin,Yet I toil and labor each day, all from within.Through tempests of spice and fast food you regret,The burdens the rest of the body forgets.I clench through trials both noble and dire,An unsung sentinel forged in fire. But even the steadfast may weary and ache,May whisper, “Dear world, give me one gentle break”.A balm, a rest, a moment of grace,For I too am part of this

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53:08

A Meditation on Fruit Cups and Resplendence with...

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/02/17

In the majestic kingdom of sleep where the heavens are transformed into a silken washhouse of torrential storms, the clouds are wrung dry by invisible hands while heinous blonde flamingos are carried off to a prison of unimaginable cruelty. As flocks of braying geese vanish and reappear as if by magic, I open my body into impossible splits and liquid arcs of dance so resplendent that the very air seems to blush at my elegance. Out of the ether appears Ana De Armas, her tender hand taking mine as we

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51:17

The Bald and the Breakfast with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/02/10

Wake up and put on your nicest wiglet, Deborah! The sun is shining and it's time to head on down to The Bald & The Breakfast, Weho's newest morning hotspot where Trixie and Katya are slinging eggs, flipping griddles, and brioch-ing the eff out of French Toast! Sink your teeth into our signature dishes: cinnamon-glazed Benedict CumberBuns, Morning Wood-Smoked Turkey Sausage, and Katya's famous Maple Butter-covered Call Me By Your Toast! Need a jolt of caffeine? Our coffee is hot, strong, and brewed

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51:25

A Freshly-Peeled Lease on Life with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/02/03

Dear Dr. Whiffenschtuppel, I write to you this day to express my deepest gratitude for changing my life. Long ago, I remember staring at my banana on the kitchen counter, bruised and drooping with despair; a perfect reflection of my life before Bocox. Every day felt soft, sad, and permanently past its prime. I meandered through my days burdened with shame and grief, wondering how something once so full of potential and promise could end up so utterly limp and forgotten; pushed to the back of the

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56:41

From Hooves to Haute with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/01/27

This week's episode is presented by Hollywood's premier foot feminization service, "From Hooves to Haute." With our patented treatment derived from centuries of Icelandic foot worship, our clinicians will transform your neglected feet from beige, flaky oatmeal buckets with fossilized Fritos for toenails into the epitome of luminous symmetry. We'll erase that eye-watering aroma of gangrene at low-tide and replace it with that of dried French lavender on a windowsill during Summer in Aix-en-Provence

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49:58

250 Episodes of Dolls Being Dolls with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/01/20

Our beloved listeners and wayward souls, we write to you from the glittery halls of memory, where two hundred and fifty episodes now flutter like sequined gowns on a brightly-lit stage of times past. Our hearts are heavy with laughter, saturated with love, and perfumed by a joyous feeling so thick you could spread it like Marmite on toast. Each episode was a bejeweled hour of gossip and grace, where movie reviews unfurled like velvet curtains in a grand cinema of the mind, and our voices learned,

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58:13

The Silence of the Hooves with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/01/13

Dearest Katya. It is I, Silas P. Hoofman, the ghost of the antelope who currently hangs in a perpetual state of taxidermy above your bed. From my velveted perch upon this ignoble wall, I address you with a heart still pulsing with spectral ire, my musk perfumed with the rot of remembrance. In the hush of our shared candlelit hours, I have vowed that my whispers from beyond shall coil about your dreams like ivy, tightening with a lover’s patience until your waking thoughts are haunted with my name

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53:10

The Twelfth Day After Christmas with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2026/01/06

’Twas 12 days after Christmas, when we gathered in the valley,To record a podcast and reflect on our holiday glee. We had dashed through L.A., to a glittering A-List soirée, To eat pizza and sliders at Charlize Theron’s chalet. Trixie ran into Paul Feig, a multi-Emmy nominee, But congratulated him, instead, on a bit part from the 90s. Such awkwardness made her hungry, so she eyed the pizza pie, But Sofia Vergara blocked the way, and she couldn't get by. Instead of battling the gorgeousness,

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54:54

A Paranormal New Year's Eve with Trixie and Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2025/12/30

On a balmy Los Angeles New Year’s Eve, as the city chimed with hope and regret, the Podcast Ghost of 2025 came gliding through the lamplit air to visit Trixie and Katya, its countenance stitched of hours spent listening to the pod in the netherworld. Awakened from their slumber, it showed them hours upon hours squandered on movie reviews and anecdotes and puns that curdled into cacophonic comedy, yet also tender moments of kindness and humanity. With solemn cheer it bade them look upon the coming

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60:39

Daphne Guinness and the Anarchy of Creativity with Katya

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya ·

2025/12/23

On a mild Los Angeles night as Christmas bells rang out into the darkness like gentle couture thunder, fashion model, curator, writer, musician, and actor, Daphne Guinness, descended into the velveteen ether of The Bald and the Beautiful podcast studio, a gothic angel wrapped in mystery and myth. Together they summoned a yuletide séance of aristocracy and absurdity, a baroque nativity of wigs and wit. 'Twas a Christmas miracle where the holidays were reborn in gloss, glimmer, and divine pop

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