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PODCAST

Delusions Of Grandeur

Emily Gadek & Kelly Jones

Emily and Kelly grew up before Star Wars returned to the big screen—when novels were fans" only hope. Now, they"re re-reading them with fresh eyes for plot twists, new characters, and surprisingly apt socio-political themes. Delusions of Grandeur is a podcast about the good, the bad, and the truly bizarre stories of the Star Wars novels.delusionspod.com

arts books

All Episodes

54:42

I, Jedi 5-8

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2025/05/14

Wedge drives like a maniac across Coruscant and we get some glimpses of the Imperial Palace (tacky!!!), as well as the successful Force-based therapy practice Luke Skywalker could have run if he wasn't so obsessed with being a Jedi Master. He and Wedge agree: the way to get Mirax back is for Corran to become a Jedi. Corran isn't totally convinced until he listens to an old voice mail from his dead dad. Before he leaves for Yavin, he starts running a couple two three five k's a day just to make sure

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60:50

I, Jedi Ch. 1 - 4

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2025/05/07

The chat has spoken and we dive in to the first few chapters of I, Jedi -- which (as advertised) is a first person account of being a Jedi. Luckily for us, that first person is Corran Horn: noted fighter pilot, recovering narc, short king, and galactic-level grump doing his best Sam Spade impression. We follow Corran as he battles space pirates, his own insecurities over becoming a father, and watching his good friend Ooryl eat breakfast. But just as Corran triumphantly returns home via Coruscant

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72:17

The Crystal Star Ch. 9-13

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2025/04/30

Our intrepid hosts valiantly struggle against a sinus infection and the city of Denver to bring you the THRILLING CONCLUSION to the NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING SAGA of The Crystal Star. The twins escape with the help of the true star of this novel, Mistress Dragon. Leia, Chewie and their new friend Rallao consult an elephant who never forgets (the name of any being enslaved in the galaxy) and have an incredible run of showing up just where they need to be for the plot to move forward. Han finally

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60:53

The Crystal Star Ch 5-8

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2025/04/17

Please enjoy this latest effort, late and paltry though it is - our hosts unfortunately live in the United States, which is going through some [redacted] times and also a gnarly flu season. In a galaxy far far away, most of our heroes are having a time of it as well. Han is really regretting his choice to vacation with a Jedi, especially after they run into his ex-girl friend, who introduces them to an all-powerful living sofa. Leia and Chewie try to find the kidnapped children with the power of the

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66:31

The Crystal Star Ch. 1 - 4

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2025/03/26

Our latest entry starts with a bang. Literally. Chewbacca gets blown up and the three Organa-Solo kids are kidnapped. Everyone around Leia gaslights her into thinking maybe it's an unserious kidnapping (because apparently that's a thing!) — except master detective R2 Freakin' D2 who is on the case and fully prepared to do a murder if necessary to solve it. Luke Skywalker and Han Solo would probably have some feelings about the kidnapping, but they're on vacation near a black hole that blocks all

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55:04

Who knows how the Force really works?

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2025/03/19

As the New York Times best-selling saga of the Callista trilogy draws to a close, Kelly and Emily are joined by a surprise guest who weighs in on who gets to decide what's in a Star Wars novel, why Han Solo is totally cool being a Wife Guy, and the power of body swaps.

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85:15

Planet of Twilight Ch. 17-22

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2025/03/05

It's a Lunar New Year Miracle (we finished more than 3 chapters of a Hambly!). Leia and Callista have some dorm room conversations on the nature of power and its uses. Luke returns to his first love (hotwiring speeders and driving across the desert like a lunatic). Leia returns to her first love (small artillery fire). Threepio and Artoo continue bouncing around the galactic postal system. We find out that the Spook crystals ARE talking and Luke becomes their Lorax. Han Solo finally gets to hug his

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53:08

Planet of Twlight Ch. 13-16

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2025/02/26

Leia decides it's time get up off the couch. Seti Ashgad gets a horrifying makeover. Dyzym's whole deal is revealed and it's NOT COOL. Luke gets a late night Force call and heads into the desert. Threepio gets a wig and gets creative but refuses to get impolite. Han and Lando continue to breathe somewhere in the galaxy. Callista shows up, mostly to roast Luke. And we find out that no matter where you are in the galaxy everything evolves back to CRABS eventually.

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58:01

Planet of Twilight Ch. 9 - 12

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2025/02/19

Sure, a lot of plot-related things happen in these chapters and all of our main characters seem to have new careers — Luke's a mechanic, Leia's an expert locksmith, and Han is a space EMT. But let's be real. THE MOST important thing to focus on is: what should Threepio and R2 call their family band?! Goldenrod and the Twerp?NSFW(ookies)?Festering Jizzboxes?Please send us any and all ideas: swdelusionspod at gmail dot com. There is no wrong answer.

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78:12

Planet of Twilight Ch. 5-8

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2025/02/12

Things are picking up, pilgrims. Han and Chewie's poolside vacation at a former concubine's condo is derailed when Leia doesn't show up as planned. Leia is once again forced to deal with two-bit aristocrats while high. Luke embraces his inner desert rat, leading him straight to his favorite kind of teacher: an obviously insane elderly Jedi. Artoo and Threepio are stolen by a two-bit Alderaanian version of Han Solo. Artoo refuses to let the loss of his voice or his wheelies stop him from committing

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70:02

Planet of Twilight Ch. 1-4

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2025/02/05

We're back in the beautiful dappled light of a Barbara Hambly joint after many chapters in the wilderness! Leia and a couple of New Republic ships (along with her brother) have come to the world of Nom Nom Cheerio, a planet full of crystals, the Force, and possibly even Callista to meet with a politician desperate for the New Republic's help. He and some other colonists settled on Nom Nom Cheerio knowing full well older inhabitants were very, very not interested in joining the Republic or having any

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38:46

Last Poem of Jedha

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2025/01/29

We take a short break from our regularly scheduled program of recapping professional Star Wars fan fiction to highlight a piece from someone who's only in it for the love of the game. The Last Poem of Jedha asks questions like "what happens if the crew of Rogue One live?" and "what do you owe to your dead world if you got a master's degree in poetry while flying Imperial shuttles?" and "why am I crying about a poem I've never read?" We'll be back next week with the next installment in the Callista

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55:53

Darksaber Ch. 51-63

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2025/01/01

Like Callista, we are finally freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. The Hutts learn the perils of accepting the lowest bid on materials and services. Callista decides that if she can't use the Force, that won't stop her from trying to blow up yet another Imperial super ship. Luke gets some help moving a log. Crix Madine dies for literally nothing. The New Republic may have poisoned a bunch of parade goers. Emily finally loses it. And the Jedi academy seems to be doing...just fine with out a Skywalker around. Also,

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53:44

Darksaber Ch. 40 - 50

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/12/25

Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Dorsk 81 the Cloned? I thought not. It's not a story Barbara Hambly would tell you. Dorsk 81 was super good at his desk job, but he was the first Dorsk to ever get bored and he decided to be a space cop instead. He graduated police academy in the most unceremonious way possible and then his best friend forced him to go to a N*zi rally "just to see what they're up to." Turns out, they were up to genocides (duh). But since Dorsk 81 wasn't super populer...lar...back

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57:33

Darksaber Ch. 30-39

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/12/18

Folks, this book is rough enough that maybe even fat free flavor crystals sprinkled on a sarcastic omniscient space clam can't save it. Everyone is getting done dirty in this section, from the entire Wampa race down to Wedge Antilles. Our heroes hop all over the galaxy, finding out things that other people already know and gaslighting their significant others, friends, and/or protégées. Even more upsetting are the gratuitous mentions of Pellaeon's depression mustache. Our hosts dive deep into Crix

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55:23

Darksaber Ch. 20 - 29

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/12/11

Fair warning: if you identify as a woman or a Mon Calamari, there's not much to appreciate about these chapters. Leia finally gets to go out with her family — to eat a salad. Admiral Ackbar can't even make it past the Corneria mission in Star Fox 64 — despite being a revered war vet. Qwi Xux is supposedly a brilliant scientist — but more importantly, Wedge thinks she's hot. And even though Callista tried to break up with Luke Skywalker, she continues to follow him around the galaxy — enduring Wampa

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51:37

Darksaber Ch. 13-19

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/12/04

This is really a book about getting the gang back together if you think about it! Luke asks the New Republic for some PTO to head off with Callista to find the Force on an ice resort for rich people (we don't get it either). Kyp Durran is allowed to graduate to full Jedi and just...peace out to go after a vague hunch (talk about the Luke Skywalker school of Jedi-ing). Han and Leia ponder what to do about the whole Hutt situation. And Admirals Daala and Pelleon (and his mustache) prep for a Very

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61:56

Darksaber Ch 6 - 12

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/11/27

Now that we're done with the Dune stuff, things are getting stranger. The Hutts raid Coruscant's central computer with the help of slapstick weasels. Luke decides to graduate three students who just "feel ready" - including tipped turbolaser Kyp Durron, so that he can get the New Republic to approve his PTO. No one on Yavin 4 acknowledges the total body horror of Callista taking the body of their friend and fellow student. Luke and Callista engage in performative PDA that is giving us the ick

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51:59

Darksaber Ch 1-5

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/11/14

With great personal bravery, we continue with the "Callista Trilogy" and crack open Kevin J. Anderson's Darksaber: a book that would like you to find fellow Star Wars Fans on the World Wide Web. Although the cover would suggest that an Empire era Luke Skywalker is embracing life as a bisexual icon alongside his devoted friend Kurt Russell, most of these chapters take place on Tatooine! Han and Luke go undercover with some Tusken Raiders (who appear to have some culture after all...) and break into

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51:07

Lando Calrissian and the Mindharp of Sharu Ch 11 - 20

Delusions Of Grandeur ·

2024/10/30

What is there to say about these chapters? Our intrepid hosts take a cue from Lando, light up a metaphorical cigarette with our electronic space jackets, and lie down on a cosmic people mover to be passively borne towards an unsatisfying conclusion. In the end, Vuffi Raa abandons his brief career as a fashion accessory to chose true love over being a narc, Mohs loses his eyeballs but gains the knowledge of how his ancestors sold him out, Lando flies off into the sunset, and the Mindharp phones

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