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PODCAST

This Complex Life

Got questions about parenting, teenagers, or relationships? Ever wonder why your teen won’t talk to you, or why your relationship feels like hard work lately? Hi, I’m Marie Vakakis—a therapist, mental health educator, and someone who’s been behind the scenes with countless families and couples navigating the ups and downs of real life. This Complex Life is your go-to for relatable insights, practical advice, and real talk about parenting, raising teenagers, and navigating relationships. I’ll share

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All Episodes

37:03

Why You Don’t Feel Good Enough (Even When You’re...

This Complex Life ·

2025/05/14

Do you ever feel like you're just not good enough, even when you're doing all the right things? In this conversation with psychologist Belinda Gibson, we explore the roots of that persistent feeling of inadequacy. We unpack how perfectionism, people-pleasing and harsh self-talk can sneak into our lives and affect our relationships, even when we don’t realise it.We talk about where these beliefs start, how they show up, and what you can do to respond differently. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling

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40:21

Do you worry? with Dr Lillian Nejad.

This Complex Life ·

2025/05/07

Do you overthink everything? Lie awake, running through worst-case scenarios?Worry can be exhausting. It often shows up as planning, perfectionism, or a loop of “what if” thoughts that are hard to switch off. In this episode, I’m joined by clinical psychologist Dr Lillian Nejad to talk about what worry really is, how it differs from anxiety, and why some people find it so difficult to stop.We explore how worry can sometimes be helpful, when it becomes unhelpful, and what it looks like in everyday

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43:42

Are We Failing Young People?

This Complex Life ·

2025/04/30

What happens when society changes faster than young people can adapt?I’m joined by psychologist Jamie Maserow to explore the hidden impacts of lockdowns, remote learning and technology on young people’s wellbeing. We unpack how the disruptions of recent years have shaped mental health, learning, and relationships, and why connection needs to come before correction.We also talk about why many traditional parenting approaches might not meet the needs of young people today, and what it looks like to

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35:20

Discernment Counselling

This Complex Life ·

2025/04/23

What if one partner wants to work on the relationship and the other isn’t sure they want to stay?In this episode, I talk with therapist Anne Carter about discernment counselling, a structured and supportive process for couples where one or both partners are ambivalent about staying together.We explore what makes this approach different from traditional couples therapy and how it helps couples make intentional, informed decisions,with whether that’s to repair the relationship or separate with clarity

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19:08

Not Having Enough Sex in Your Relationship?

This Complex Life ·

2025/04/16

Wondering if your relationship should involve more sex or comparing yourself to what you think is normal? You're not alone. Many couples quietly struggle with mismatched desire, emotional disconnection or unclear expectations about what intimacy should look like.In this episode, I talk about what it really means to not be having enough sex, how responsive desire plays a role in long-term relationships, and why connection doesn’t always come from frequency.This one is honest, awkward in all the right

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38:12

What Makes Inclusive Relationship Therapy Work

This Complex Life ·

2025/04/09

What happens when love meets change? In this episode we explore the unique challenges and strengths of queer and gender diverse relationships, especially when one partner is transitioning. Therapist Jani Forest Wyatt joins me to unpack the myths, the moments of growth, and the importance of inclusive and affirming couples therapy.Jani shares insights from both professional and personal experience, from working with Gottman informed couples therapy to challenging stigma in broader social systems

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13:28

6 Things Emotionally Healthy Couples Don’t Do

This Complex Life ·

2025/04/02

There’s a lot of advice about what to do to build a strong relationship. But what about the things emotionally healthy couples don’t do?Join me, Marie Vakakis, a therapist, mental health, and relationships educator. In this episode, I explore six common habits that can damage trust, connection, and communication—and why avoiding them can make a big difference.Key takeaways:Sarcasm, eye-rolling, and small put-downs erode trust over time.Name-calling and labelling create emotional distance.Venting to

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37:09

Unspoken Expectations in Relationships Are Hurting...

This Complex Life ·

2025/03/26

Ever caught yourself thinking, "They should just know what I need"? Unspoken expectations are one of the biggest sources of frustration in relationships. When our partners don’t automatically meet our needs, it can leave us feeling unheard, unloved, or even resentful. But here’s the thing—expecting someone to read your mind rarely works.Join me, Marie Vakakis, and my guest, psychotherapist Tracy Proud, as we explore why we struggle to express our needs, how childhood experiences shape our

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07:44

Can Laughter Really Be Medicine?

This Complex Life ·

2025/03/22

In tough times, joy can feel out of reach. But sometimes, a single shared laugh has the power to lift the weight of the world—even in a hospital room, a funeral, or a difficult conversation.In this special episode, I’m adding my voice to Podcasthon , a global movement of over 1,600 shows across 47 countries. Instead of just mentioning a charity at the end, I wanted to go deeper and dedicate this episode to the incredible work of Clown Doctors—specially trained performers who bring laughter into

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21:43

Feeling More Like Housemates Than Partners? How to...

This Complex Life ·

2025/03/19

Ever feel like you and your partner are just co-existing rather than truly connecting? Maybe your conversations revolve around schedules, bills, and logistics, rather than shared experiences and meaningful moments.Join me, Marie Vakakis, therapist, mental health and relationships educator, as I share why friendship is the foundation of a strong relationship, how couples drift apart over time, and most importantly, how to rebuild connection and intimacy when you feel like housemates rather than

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31:33

How Couples Therapy Can Improve Mental Health with...

This Complex Life ·

2025/03/12

Couples therapy isn’t just about fixing relationship problems—it can also play a huge role in improving mental health. Many people think of therapy as a last resort when things are falling apart, but research shows that relationship support can also help with anxiety, depression, trauma, and emotional regulation.I’m joined by Trish Purnell-Webb, a clinical psychologist, certified Gottman therapist, and trainer for the Gottman Institute, to discuss how couples therapy strengthens connection and

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15:12

Big Fights Over Small Things?

This Complex Life ·

2025/03/05

Ever had a small disagreement spiral into a huge argument? Maybe it started with an eye-roll, a forgotten text, or a messy kitchen bench. Suddenly, it’s not about the dishes—it’s about feeling unheard, unappreciated, or disconnected.Join me, Marie Vakakis, a therapist, mental health, and relationships educator. In this episode, I unpack why small fights often mask deeper issues, how to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict, and ways to handle disagreements that strengthen

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45:08

Why Waiting Too Long for Couples Therapy Can Make...

This Complex Life ·

2025/02/26

Many couples only seek therapy when their relationship is already in serious trouble. But by the time they reach out, years of unresolved issues, built-up resentment, and unhealthy patterns can make it harder to repair their connection. So, what happens when couples wait too long to get support, and why is early intervention so important?Join me Marie Vakakis, a therapist, and mental health and relationships educator and Michelle Janssen as we discuss why couples therapy isn’t just for relationships

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13:27

It’s Not About the Fight—It’s How You Fight

This Complex Life ·

2025/02/19

Why do we keep having the same fight?It can feel frustrating when the same arguments keep coming up. But conflict is not the problem. It is how we handle it that makes the difference. Research shows that most relationship conflicts are ongoing, yet avoiding them only builds resentment. The good news is that conflict, when managed well, can actually strengthen trust and connection.I am Marie Vakakis, a therapist, mental health and relationships educator. In this episode, I explore why conflict is

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01:07:05

How Couples Therapy Works (And When to Start)

This Complex Life ·

2025/02/12

Have you ever wondered when the right time is to try couples therapy? Or if you even need a major issue to start? Many people hesitate to seek support for their relationship, often waiting years before getting help—sometimes even separating without exploring their options.Today, we’re tackling the most common questions about couples therapy, from how to know if it’s right for you to what actually happens in a session. Joining me is Anne, my practice manager and the person who keeps everything

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38:58

Why does grief feel so lonely?

This Complex Life ·

2025/02/05

Have you ever wondered why grief feels so isolating?Many people expect grief to follow a straight path, something to "move on" from after a set amount of time. The reality is far more complex. In this episode, I sit down with psychologist and grief researcher Liam Spicer to explore what grief is, the myths that surround it, and how we can better support ourselves and others through loss.Grief is a universal human experience, yet so many of us struggle to talk about it openly. In this conversation,

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37:30

Understanding Trauma and Its Impact with Kathryn Eberly

This Complex Life ·

2025/01/31

How Past Experiences Shape Our LivesWhy do certain situations trigger such strong emotions? Katheryn Eberly, a mental health social worker and family therapist, joins me to explore how early experiences shape our beliefs, why past wounds still affect us, and how we can start to shift unhelpful patterns.Key TakeawaysTrauma affects how we see ourselves and respond to stress."Big T" trauma stems from major events, while "little t" trauma comes from repeated distressing experiences.Core beliefs like

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38:33

How to Align Your Life with Your Values

This Complex Life ·

2025/01/23

Have you ever wondered if your goals truly reflect what’s most important to you? In this episode, clinical psychologist Patch Callahan joins me to break down the difference between values and goals and why living by your values is the key to a more meaningful and fulfilling life.We explore how to uncover your core values, navigate challenges in defining them, and integrate them into your everyday decisions. Whether you’re reevaluating your priorities for the new year or seeking deeper alignment in

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50:00

Is It Time to Rethink Your Relationship with Booze?

This Complex Life ·

2025/01/15

Have you ever found yourself questioning your drinking habits or wondering why alcohol feels so deeply woven into our social lives? This episode will inspire you to take a closer look at addiction, coping strategies, and the pressures around drinking.In this episode, I sit down with psychologist Tara Hurster, an expert in addiction and substance use, to challenge the myths surrounding addiction and explore how we can make healthier, more intentional choices. From practical tools like the HALT method

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13:24

Holidays: Why We Fight About the Ham (and Other Things)

This Complex Life ·

2024/12/18

Holidays are meant to be magical, but let’s be honest – they can also be a whirlwind of stress, unmet expectations, and arguments over things like... ham on napkins. Ever found yourself mid-fight during the holiday season, wondering, “What are we even fighting about?” This episode is for you.As a therapist, I see this all the time in my sessions: couples bickering over seemingly small things that often hold deeper meaning. Today, I’m unpacking what’s really behind those seemingly silly holiday

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