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PODCAST

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG

Dumb-Dumbs & Dice

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG is a Dumb-Dumbs & Dice live-play podcast where professional voice actors and improvisers journey into the grim darkness of the 41st millenium - playing the Genesys adaptation of Warhammer 40K"s "Dark Heresy" TTRPG! Join Inquisitor Lucius Valentyne, and hive-bred siblings Lyric and Alto, as this unlikely trio try to save the Emperor from a cabal of mysterious enemies! This series features our Game Master Tom McGee (@mcgeetd), and regular players

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All Episodes

64:27

2.37 - The Vorpal Blade

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2022/02/17

As the Basilicum Imperialis exploded, the Astropathic choir and the Officio Inquisitorius within the entire system were destroyed, and all Inquisitorial field teams killed, leaving the band utterly alone. Rancid Colon took power over all the houses, effectively giving Gazzy control of the Artisse System. With the band narrowly escaping Gazzy’s bombing of the Bolter Express, what hope remains of completing their mission? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan LaPlante (@theryanlaplante), and players Tom

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60:15

2.36 - Bombs and Betrayal

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2022/02/10

The race concluded and Jacinta Skullshield was finally killed. Lucia Bane won the race, and therefore the governorship, giving the band time to regroup and voice their long-held concerns. Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) and Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) disagreed on their core beliefs and Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) and Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) exchanged threats, but now, with the explosive destruction of the inauguration ceremony and all in attendance, including the new governor,

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68:23

2.35 - Shepherds and Sheep

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2022/02/03

The Inquisitorial band isn’t out of the race just yet. Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) and Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) avoided the Sisters of Battle by hiding in the Rad Habs, Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) redirected the orbital strike, killing the Sisters against Olianne’s protestations and utterly destroying the warehouse district, and Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) was caught unawares by Jacinta Skullshield in disguise. With Jacinta’s gun to his head, is this the end of Seth Corbyn

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54:49

2.34 - Bombardment

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2022/01/27

The race began with frustrating uncertainty. Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) told Nero and Seth to do whatever they wanted to do and then removed her microbead, Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) realized she would have to run alongside Olianne, and Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) and Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) raced to keep the runners in sight in order to protect them from orbital bombardment of the Rad Habs. With Markus’s Sisters of Battle closing in and the Rad Habs just ahead, which

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40:10

2.33 - The Race Begins

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2022/01/20

The delicate bond holding the Inquisitorial band together began to fracture. Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) gave his insignia to Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt), threatening him with the wrath of the warp should Seth fail to keep Olianne safe, and Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) convinced Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) that Nero could not be trusted and only they two truly believed in the Emperor of Mankind. Will Piper and Olianne survive the start of the race, now that they’ve left Seth and

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50:07

2.32 - The Best Laid Plans…

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2022/01/13

The Inquisitorial band inadvertently pushed Krungus Marcus into an alliance with Jacinta Skullshield. They did, however, manage to equip themselves. Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) requisitioned a Taurox, Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) procured grenades and a Lascannon, Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) obtained power armour and a refractor field, and Lucia Bane revealed to Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) that she would provide her own wildcard, Moximillian. How will they fare against Marcus’s

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69:30

2.31 - Choosing Sides

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2022/01/06

With the day of the race upon them, the Inquisitorial band decided that Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) would be their runner. Olianne sought Ignatious Ironforth’s skill for protection against power armour, Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) got advice on how to run the race safely, and Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) discovered that the wildcard team was led by Jacinta Skullshield. With Jacinta acting without House protection, can the band eliminate that threat before the race begins? Featuring our

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65:50

2.30 - The Wildcard

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/12/30

The Inquisitorial band continued to play politics while wrestling with themselves. Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) was returned to her original state, Seth’s (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) new “friend” Lucia promised more assistance if they continued to help her secure the governorship, Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) had a vision of gunning down an Ultramarine, and Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) realized it was her duty to help Seth redeem himself. How will they prepare for power armour at

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61:50

2.29 - Surgery

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/12/23

The Inquisitorial band was once again forced to make difficult decisions. Owing Lucia Bane a favour, Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) tried to persuade the rest that Vance was Homo Novus and must be executed despite a lack of evidence, Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) agreed mainly to protect Seth from Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) finding out about the favour, and an overly-medicated Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) was thrilled at the idea of bloodshed. What will Vance’s death mean if Krungus

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47:16

2.28 - Every Man Is His Own World

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/12/22

The band convinced Vulcan that Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) was Rancid and acquired the crown from the heist. Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) and Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) interrogated witnesses and procured a sample of Vance’s blood, Seth’s (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) investigation of the corpses left him with more questions than answers, and Piper approached Ignatious Ironforth to examine the weapons used in the attack. Will their collective evidence yield any real answers? Featuring

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80:40

2.27 - The Blood Price

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/12/09

After Warden and Jacinta narrowly escaped the Skullshield attack and retaliation, the Inquisitorial band was immediately forced to fight as fire rained down on Rancid and the House leaders. Who orchestrated such a coordinated and brazen assassination attempt and, more immediately, will Piper’s (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) disguise fool Bane’s representative long enough to win the heist? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan LaPlante (@theryanlaplante), and players Tom McGee (@mcgeetd) as Interrogator

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57:59

2.26 - The Deadly Hiss

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/12/02

The heist has commenced! Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) and Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) disguised themselves and destroyed the cameras following them, Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) clandestinely obtained a blood sample from Crungus Markus, and Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) determined through meditation that she was correct to have doubts about Nero. Will the band compromise their position to defend the Inquisitorial Taurox against a Skullshield attack? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan

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49:47

2.25 - Changing Places

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/11/25

The Inquisitorial band arrived at the citadel for the heist. Piper’s (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) disguise caused Gazzy to question his faith in their abilities, Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) paraded Invictus around to distract the guests, and Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) realized that it was House Vance’s new team member, Jacinta Skullshield, who attacked them at their hotel. How will the band slip away under watchful cameras and a vengeful Jacinta out for blood? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan

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60:51

2.24 - I Know What You Did

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/11/18

The Inquisitorial band apprised Gazzy Colon of their plan. Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) intimated to Gazzy that the Inquisition’s activities were more important than planetary politics, Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) arranged for weapons to be stashed at the ball, and Piper’s (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) alterations will require her psyker powers to convince anyone that she is Rancid. Can the band find a son or daughter of Fabius Bile amidst the chaos of the heist? Featuring our Game

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54:06

2.23 - Triumph & Despair

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/11/11

The Inquisitorial band have prepared for the heist. Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) proposed that Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) impersonate Rancid Colon, Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) made Seth and Piper realize that—despite Nero’s (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) shortcomings—he’s still managed to keep them all alive, and—since Warden cannot enter the ball—a bomb was planted in Piper’s brain as a failsafe. Just how long will the band’s disguises fool the Dominion Omnium’s rulers? Featuring our

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49:44

2.22 - The Anatomy Of A Heist

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/11/04

The Inquisitorial band found themselves mired in conflict. Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) revealed that she’d precipitated a cold war between Houses Vance and Colon, Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) sent a warning of Nero’s (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) heretical behaviour to her mentor on Terra, and Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) prompted Nero to report on their progress—or lack thereof—to the Inquisitor. Will they be capable of following orders and focusing only on the Homo Novus? Featuring our

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56:00

2.21 - A Call From On High

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/10/28

The Inquisitorial band sought out vital information. They confirmed that Gazzy Colon and Lucia Bane’s blood matched their genetic profiles, a book on “The Myth of Kournos and Isabella” was found, and Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) hacked into House Vance’s files, inadvertently starting a cold war between Vance and Colon. How will the band survive the heist as Colon representatives against their new Vance enemies? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan LaPlante (@theryanlaplante), and players Tom McGee

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55:24

2.20 - Kournos and Isabella

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/10/21

The Inquisitorial band were caught unawares in an ambush. As the rest of the band scrambled to defend themselves, two Aeldari appeared to Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd), quickly disposed of the threats to him, and then delivered a cryptic message, seemingly addressing him as Count Kournos. Will the band really give up on “the whole Count Kournos thing” as per Nero’s orders? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan LaPlante (@theryanlaplante), and players Laura Hamstra (@elhamstring) as Piper Fairley, Tyler

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43:30

2.19 - Assassins in the Night

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/10/14

The Inquisitorial band once again heard a psyker-based voice speaking of a Young Count Kournos. Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) remained convinced that Horus was still alive, Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt), Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic), and Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) revealed that they had each been blackmailed by a different house leader, and Olianne misinterpreted advice about Nero, but to what end? Who knows what Seth did? And more immediately, who just burst into their rooms

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67:24

2.18 - What You Did

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/10/07

A number of bargains were struck with the House leaders. Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) secured Bane’s support and planted a tracker on her, Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) acquired Markus’s protection, and Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) prevented Vance from revealing her psychic interference in the match, but all at the expense of owing each House a favour in return. Now what does Horus have to do with the psychic template that has replaced Nero's (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) memories

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