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PODCAST

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life

Dr. Lisa Damour

Parenting a tween or teen? Buckle up. Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life tackles the questions that keep parents up at night — academics, friendships, mental health, screens, meltdowns, and more. Every week, psychologist Lisa Damour teams up with a different expert to answer a real parent"s real question — no fluff, no judgment, just practical, evidence-based advice you can actually use. Dr. Damour and her colleagues also turn their attention to the emotional rollercoaster of raising kids — the

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

29:19

95: Encore: Happy Holidays? Dealing with Difficult...

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/11/22

The holidays can be both joyful and stressful. Being in close quarters with relatives whose political or social views are completely different from yours can make this busy time of year even more challenging. Dr. Lisa offers a plan to help families and their kids avoid conflict when possible and cope with any friction that does arise. She also lays out a game plan for how to talk with our kids about guests and relatives who don't make for great company. Lisa and Reena offer this holiday encore

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32:37

94: My Clingy Teen Hates Going to School. How Do I Help?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/11/15

A parent writes in asking for help for their teen who feels intensely anxious about going to school and interacting with adults outside the home. Dr. Lisa explains that the need to stay close to home during the height of the pandemic has made it hard for many young people to spread their wings now. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the root causes of clinginess and separation anxiety and how those causes can differ depending on a child's age. Their conversation addresses what adults can do now to help

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35:39

93: Should I Monitor My Kid’s Grades Online?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/11/08

Grades can be a source of family anxiety and stress, and online grading portals can make the situation both better and worse. A dad writes in asking how parents and kids can better manage online grades. Reena explains that she gets pinged on email every time her kids' grades are posted and Dr. Lisa has surprising advice for parents in the same boat. Dr. Lisa explains the upsides and downsides of having access to online grades, and how families can use these systems to help kids become more

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29:20

92: I’m Not Ready for My Kid to Be in Love. Help!

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/11/01

How should we talk to our kids about what it means to fall in love? Parents know how good it can feel to make a strong connection and be on the receiving end of affection, but we also want to shield kids from heartbreak. Dr. Lisa helps walks us through how we can talk with our kids about both the emotional and physical sides of love, while Reena asks key questions about how to deal with the fact that these conversations are often uncomfortable for both parents and kids. Dr. Lisa explains how we can

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33:19

91: My Kid Hates Being A Late Bloomer. How Can I Help?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/10/25

How can we support kids who feel uncomfortable about the timing of puberty? A parent writes in asking what to say to a late bloomer who feels out of step with her peers. Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on what it means to reach puberty early - or late - and how this differs depending on gender. Reena and Dr. Lisa address whether there's such a thing as perfectly timed puberty, and how to talk about the changes that come with puberty in ways that won't send tweens and teens running for the hills. The

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32:47

90: Should My Kid Play Violent Video Games?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/10/18

Do violent video games normalize violence? A parent whose son becomes more aggressive with his sisters after playing certain games writes in asking for advice. Is it best to pull the plug on games like Fortnite and Grand Theft Auto, even if they're important to a boy's social life? Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on how violent video games affect kids and offers guidelines to consider. Reena asks how old kids should be if they are going to play video games and describes how allowing her son to play

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31:22

89: How Do I Get My Teen To Take Charge of Her Life?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/10/11

How do we help teens take ownership of their lives, especially if they are feeling overwhelmed by all that adults are asking of them? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can move from nagging teens to seeing themselves as teachers who help teens become increasingly independent. The conversation also details the important role of adults outside the home, and the one thing Dr. Lisa has seen transform even the most reluctant teens into young people who can advocate for themselves. Follow us on Instagram,

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31:58

88: How Do I Get My Son to Give Up Pot?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/10/04

How do you help a teen who won't stop smoking marijuana? When does a family need to step in? A mom writes in asking for help for her son who has been caught smoking marijuana both at school and at home. Dr. Lisa explains what parents should know about substance abuse, and Reena asks how best to explain the risks of marijuana to kids, especially in light of widespread legalization. The conversation also covers the concept of “self-medicating” and why some kids think it’s okay to use marijuana to cope

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33:03

87: Do I Really Have to Send My Tween to Sleepovers?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/09/27

A parent who hates sleepovers writes in to ask if they are really necessary. Dr. Lisa and Reena weigh the social costs of not allowing kids to host or attend sleepovers and what parents can do instead. They also address the clear parameters that can reduce the downsides of sleepovers, raise concerns parents may not have thought of, and detail the kinds of conversations parents might have with their kids if sleepovers are going to be allowed. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and

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49:16

86: How Do I Pay For College Without Going Broke?...

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/09/20

College can be incredibly expensive, so how should parents think about covering the cost? What do we say to our kids about what we can, or are willing, to pay? How do you make the most of 529 plans? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle these questions and more with special guest Ron Lieber, author of The Price You Pay for College: An Entirely New Roadmap for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make. Resources from Ron Lieber Ron Lieber on 529 plans: A Tax Strategy for 529 College Savings

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32:15

85: My Kids Lose it When They Make Sports Mistakes....

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/09/13

When kids get stuck or fall apart while playing sports, what should parents do? Dr. Lisa offers strategies for when kids lose their cool, and explains a key change in thinking can help kids manage when they make mistakes. She and Reena also discuss how to help kids appreciate the importance of being team players and the fact that kids rarely improve in sports they've stopped enjoying. Reena asks about whether we should push kids to stick with sports they’re not good at, and Dr. Lisa explains the

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30:51

84: How Do I Encourage My Tween to Drop a Bad...

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/09/06

Friends are supposed to make you feel better, but what about when kids have "friends" who leave them feeling awful? How do you help tweens and teens identify when a friendship has become toxic and gracefully remove themselves without becoming socially isolated? Reena and Dr. Lisa discuss how to handle tricky friendships, how to help kids create distance without being hurtful, and how to make sure that kids don't have all of their friendships eggs in one basket. Dr. Lisa also explains what not to

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32:38

83: How Do I Get My Teen to Take School Seriously?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/08/30

After more than two years of pandemic-related disruption, there's a lot riding on this school year. But what do you do if your kid doesn't seem to care about grades or how things are going academically? How can adults get kids to self-motivate and without micro-managing? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how parents can get kids to take school seriously, what kind of support is most useful, and the most common mistake adults make when trying to help students get back on track at school. In Parenting to

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1:58

The Danger Zone on Insta

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/06/21

Join Dr. Lisa and Reena live with your parenting questions this Weds, June 22nd, 1pm EST on the @asklisapodcast Instagram live handle. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan Check out Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. Ask Lisa is produced by Good Trouble Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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2:00

Summer Instagram Lives!

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/06/07

Dr. Lisa and Reena have an update. Join them live with your parenting questions this Weds, June 8th, 1pm EST on the @asklisapodcast Instagram live handle. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan Check out Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. Ask Lisa is produced by Good Trouble Productions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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32:38

82: How Should Kids Spend Summer 2022?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/05/24

Dr. Lisa runs down the five things she believes parents should focus on in summer 2022. The pandemic narrowed kids' opportunities for growth, but there's now a lot adults can do to help children and teenagers catch up. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss advice that might seem counterintuitive - such as the importance of encouraging kids to take some risks. Dr. Lisa’s Summer Resources 50 Risks to Take With Your Kids: A Guide to Building Resilience and Independence in the First 10 Years by Daisy

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32:39

81: Why Is Our Kid Being So Mean to Us?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/05/17

How should you respond when your kids are mean to you? What’s age-appropriate behavior and what should not be tolerated? Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack why kids lash out and what’s behind the outbursts. How do you know when hormones are the cause or when it’s something else? Dr. Lisa has advice on how to create a safe space for kids at home that allows them to work through their frustrations but also teaches them what’s acceptable in the real world. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and

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32:42

80: Should I Push My Child Out of the Nest?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/05/10

How much should we shield our kids from risk? And how much should we go out of our way to make their lives more comfortable? Dr. Lisa explains the importance of fostering independence and encouraging our children to take safe risks. Reena asks if we should try to make our kids' lives easier when we can, especially given all that they have gone through in the pandemic. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how much distress we should allow our kids to tolerate and when we should offer support. Follow us on

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49:57

79: What Do Parents Need to Know about Suicide?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/05/03

What causes a child or teenager to become suicidal? What steps can be taken to prevent suicide? Dr. Jonathan B. Singer co-author of Suicide in Schools: A Practitioner's Guide to Multi-level Prevention, Assessment, Intervention, and Postvention joins the Ask Lisa podcast to answer questions from parents. Dr. Lisa and Reena ask about warning signs, whether peers can promote suicidal thoughts, when to be concerned about possible suicidality, and what to do. Additional resources: American Foundation

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30:27

78: My Daughter’s Nude Selfie Got Out. What Do We Do...

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2022/04/26

A parent writes in asking how to pick up the pieces after her daughter shared a nude selfie with a boyfriend who then sent it to other boys at school. Dr. Lisa and Reena talk about how impulsive moments can lead to serious consequences, what can be done to make things right, and the legal implications of sharing nude photos. The episode also addresses what to say to kids about requesting, sending, or unexpectedly receiving nude photos, and the simple--but often overlooked--change to school policy

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