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PODCAST

Latter Day Struggles

Valerie Hamaker

The Latter Day Struggles Podcast addresses beliefs and issues within the LDS faith that are challenging to talk about but vital to discuss for those trying to navigate their relationship in or around the church. Valerie and her guests invite psychological maturity, theological health, and institutional integrity.

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

01:01:10

Episode 106: Gaining the Personal Sovereignty to...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/03/24

In this episode you meet TJ, a wonderful young man navigating the complexities of young single adult life as a gay member of the LDS church. He shares his story about slowly and gradually learning to accept his infinite lovability in God's eyes, which led to his eventual ability to also accept his sexual identity. TJ shares with Valerie his ongoing process sorting out what he’s been taught about the plan of salvation…what feels right, what feels wrong, what is known, and what is unknown. This

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01:20:51

Episode 105: When a Too-Small Theology of Eternal...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/03/20

Join Valerie in this incredibly tender episode with two sets of LDS parents with children on the LGBTQ+ spectrum as they share their journey as individuals, as a couple, and as a family system embracing their gay and transgender children. Each of these beautiful parents walk us through their early years of life in the LDS church and their varying experiences embracing the doctrines of eternal marriage and the ‘together forever’ family and how their lives shifted (and are still shifting) in

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00:43:02

Episode 104: How LDS Marriage Theology Complicates...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/03/17

In this portion of this series featuring the tender stories of individuals learning about the complexities of the LDS eternal marriage theology first hand, Valerie visits with Cindy, a woman brave enough to share her story of her two marriages. Her first marriage was the result of young Cindy’s desire to please her orthodox family, her ward, and her church by marrying the Mormon “ideal man” despite her own reservations and internal discomfort. Listen in as she shares her tender memories as an

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00:56:46

Episode 103: A Single Woman’s Perspective on the LDS...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/03/13

Join Valerie and her special guest Lark, a single woman who candidly shares her painful journey beginning in the youth program aspiring to check every single box on the Mormon woman spectrum that was practically guaranteed to bring her all of the love, fulfillment, and satisfaction earth or heaven could offer. This seemed all good and fine until life didn't cooperate and Lark found it imperative either sink in sorrow or challenge her deeply embedded paradigm handed her by the Church of Jesus

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00:35:31

Episode 102: Personal Battles with Fear and Shame Due...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/03/10

In this final autobiographical portion of this series focusing on the complexities of the LDS eternal marriage doctrine, Valerie and Nathan reflect on their own relationships with fear and shame as driving forces in their own formative years. This conversation spans several topics including fears around single-hood (and the deep psychological wounds inflicted by the current doctrine on LDS singles) and fears that one's formal relationship with the church (oddly, not with each other and not God…)

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00:33:21

Episode 101: Personal/Relational Impact of...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/03/06

In this very personal episode, Val and Nathan talk about their own lived experiences around the LDS eternal marriage doctrine and specifically how they have navigated concepts of patriarchy and eternal polygamy. Valerie expands the concepts of masculinity and femininity and shares thoughts on how these concepts are often confused with our socialized understandings of maleness and femaleness. She goes on to explore why these misunderstandings get in the way of relational development and impedes our

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00:44:47

Episode 100: Unprogramming the Dependency and...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/03/03

In this very personal next several episodes in this series on the LDS theology of eternal marriage and its implications, Val and Nathan talk about their own marriage and how both individually and as a couple they have experienced plenty of soul-struggle in an effort to find the path that celebrates both relational intimacy (in all of its forms) as well as deep commitment to one's own and the others' personal growth. Val and Nathan walk through a timeline that follows their early more

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00:40:03

Episode 99: Part IV Eternal Marriage Health Check:...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/02/27

In this fourth part of their ongoing series on the complexities of the LDS doctrine of eternal marriage, Val and Brannon tackle yet another tough but important facet of this subject: the possible engines that drive us all too often… 1] FEAR: The fear of the eternal consequences of not marrying. The fear of divorce and it’s stigma in this life and implications in the next life. The fear of coming out and coupling and its supposed social and eternal consequences. The fear of sharing faith

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01:03:00

Episode 98: We do NOT ‘Consider the Matter...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/02/24

Join Valerie in her analysis of the recent breaking news regarding the financial settlement between the LDS church and the United States Securities and Exchange Commission regarding tithing holdings. In this episode Valerie breaks down the following: An analysis of why, in a healthy relationship between ANY two parties [including between an individual and their church], one party does not decide unilaterally that ANY "matter is closed" especially in situations that involve a sacred

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00:37:23

Episode 97: Part III Marriage Theology Health...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/02/20

In this third of a multi-part series, Valerie and therapist colleague Brannon Patrick continue to unpack the very multifaceted doctrine of eternal marriage. In this episode Val and Brannon address the twin evils that profoundly impact every level of identity within the LDS church from the macro to the micro levels: PATRIARCHY and it’s painful offspring, POLYGAMY. Their analysis highlights that: while patriarchy continues to be institutionally endorsed, true partnership on any level

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00:39:12

Episode 96: Part II Marriage Theology Health Check—A...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/02/17

In this second of a multi-part series, Valerie and therapist colleague Brannon Patrick continue to unpack the very multifaceted doctrine of eternal marriage and all of its complex implications in the real lives of real people, often finding the “plan of happiness” feeling more like the “plan of sadness” as life progresses in ways that almost inevitably do not line up with what doctrine frames as the ideal and only way to achieve God's highest heaven. IN THIS EPISODE Val and Brannon dig into

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00:43:09

Episode 95: Part I--A Candid Psychological Health...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/02/14

In this multi-part series, Valerie and therapist colleague Brannon Patrick begin to unpack the very multifaceted doctrine of eternal marriage and all of its complex implications in the real lives of real people, often finding the “plan of happiness” feeling more like the “plan of sadness” as life progresses in ways that almost inevitably do not line up with what doctrine frames as the ideal and only way to reach heaven. Valerie and Brannon open this series by introducing a framework for human

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00:48:06

Episode 94: Claiming Spiritual and Psychological...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/02/10

This episode was recorded for "The Sisterhood Podcast" recently and takes a deep dive into issues of womanhood, LDS culture, and the vital importance of women learning how to truly be active agents of their own lives. Valerie addresses several topics including the following: the influence that the church's gendered teachings have had on some women who foreclosed early dreams and desires because they felt that these parts of themselves were "wrong", the importance of

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00:51:16

Episode 93: Hamilton Response Part II: A...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/02/06

In this episode, Valerie looks a psychological lens to explain some of the dynamics at play between some current spokespeople for the LDS church and those who are asking for dialogue and change in a variety of areas. As an intimate relationship therapist, Valerie frequently works with couples and helps them with struggles around the issue of power, growth, and fear. These very same concepts can be superimposed onto other relationships, and in this episode, Valerie demonstrates how some church

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00:55:45

Episode 92: Some Troubling "Take Aways" from Elder...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/02/03

In this special episode Valerie and Nathan respond to the recent address given by Elder Hamilton titled "Why a Church". This episode attempts to acknowledge many potentially hurtful or harmful "take aways" that many might have experienced who are deeply committed to following Jesus Christ and who are also trying to discern if there is a place for them to worship in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints as complex thinkers and committed seekers of systematic and

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00:53:25

Episode 91: Ways to Actively Protect & Support our...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/01/30

In this final episode in this series honoring Blaire Ostler [scholar, author, and warrior at the complex intersection of the Mormon and Queer worlds], Val and Nathan walk through 15 suggestions given by Blaire on how we can do a better job educating ourselves and those around us on queer issues so that our queer children and adolescents feel seen, safer, and valued. Please share this entire series with those around you who may not understand the psychological costs exacted upon our own loved ones

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00:57:38

Episode 90: The Sacred Queerness of dawn, dusk, and...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/01/27

Join Valerie and author, theologian, and scholar Blaire Ostler as they tackle the beauty of speculative theology through their analysis of Blaire’s book “Queer Mormon Theology”. In this bold and beautiful book, Blaire invites her readers to consider multiple traditional Mormon-specific beliefs through a queer lens, showing us how a robust theology is ALWAYS inviting of study, questioning, and re-evaluation to become more reflective of the Savior we profess to worship. Blaire Maintains through

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00:55:29

Episode 89: A Queer-Mormon Walk Through the Valley of...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/01/23

Trigger Warning: this episode speaks of suicide ideation. In this beautiful episode, Blaire Ostler joins Valerie in an autobiographical conversation about her painful and dynamic hero’s journey reconciling within herself her queerness and her Mormon-ness, finding for herself that she could not shun either. This conversation covers the gradual unfolding of her queer identity and the pain she went through both within her body and between herself and her creators. She shares deep grief, “aha” moments,

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00:36:23

Episode 88: Institutional Christianity—Reasons to...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/01/20

This is part FIVE of a five part series analyzing Brian McLaren’s book “Do I Stay Christian”. In each of these episodes, Val and Nathan go through McLaren’s 10 compelling reasons to LEAVE institutionalized Christianity and 10 compelling reasons to STAY. In this episode the two reasons discussed to LEAVE are as follows: 9) Because of its tendency to constrict intellectualism [please jump over to episode 79 of this podcast for a deep dive into the damage done due to constrictive intellectualism

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00:35:19

Episode 87: Institutional Christianity—Reasons to...

Latter Day Struggles ·

2023/01/16

This is part FOUR of a five part series analyzing Brian McLaren’s book “Do I Stay Christian”. In each of these episodes, Val and Nathan go through McLaren’s 10 compelling reasons to LEAVE institutionalized Christianity and 10 compelling reasons to STAY. In this episode the two reasons discussed to LEAVE are as follows: 7) Because Christianity is STUCK due to its “belief policing” and its accompanying resistance to scientific advancements that might push up against traditional religious ideas, and

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