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PODCAST

Couples Therapy In Seven Words

Dr. Bruce Chalmer

Be Kind, Don‘t Panic, and Have Faith. Psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer and educator Judy Alexander talk about relationships, interview fascinating guests, and answer your questions.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

47:17

Faith and Relationships: An Interview with Rabbi and...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/11/12

How does faith fit in relationships, and in couples therapy? What happens when one partner is way more religiously observant than the other? How can couples communicate about those differences? We talk about these issues with David Fredman, who is both an Orthodox rabbi and a licensed marriage and family therapist. Along the way, Rabbi Fredman tells us about his interest in Mussar, a Jewish self-improvement tradition, and graphology, the study of handwriting as a way of gaining insight into

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29:46

My Husband Complains About My Cleaning. Is It About...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/11/05

How do you handle it if your partner is complaining about how you clean. Or worse--if they're bullying you? And will learning how to communicate better help? We revisit a listener question from Bruce's blog. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information. Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable

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45:49

”Scenes from a Marriage”: Whoa, How About Those First...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/10/29

The HBO series "Scenes from a Marriage" got us going! Join us as we relate our favorite ideas about intimacy to the struggles of Jonathan and Mira. Warning: spoiler alerts! We also handle a listener question about respect: What does it mean to respect your partner, and how do women and men differ about that? Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit

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55:53

Your Money and Your Relationship: An Interview with...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/10/22

Financial and money concerns come up in couples therapy a lot--sometimes as deal-breakers. In our delightful interview with Natalie and Dan Slagle, who own and operate Fyooz Financial Planners (fyoozfinancial.com), we talk about their work helping couples use their money to live a more purposeful life. And we answer a listener question: How do you handle money when one member of a couple grew up with affluence, and the other was financially traumatized? Send in your questions: email us at

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31:15

Maybe It Is About Communication After All! Episode 48

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/10/13

By far our most popular episode so far has been the one called, "It's Not About Communication!" But...what if it is? We talk about what happens when ideas--like noticing how people behave when they're communicating well--harden into ideologies--like techniques and rules. Along the way we cover the idea of relational fundamentalism (thanks to Judy for that coinage!), and how faith is the opposite of fundamentalism. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just

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33:09

My Partner‘s Sexual Demands are Driving Me Nuts!...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/10/13

What happens when your partner wants way more sex than you do? Or way less? We talk about the death spiral that can happen in a relationship--but also about opportunities for grace, intimacy, and erotic connection, at any age. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information. Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark:

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42:03

Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/09/24

Everything you know about couples therapy is wrong! Well, maybe not everything. But we talk about what happens when your therapist puts their precious theories ahead of actual people, who somehow refuse to behave like the manual says. Join us as Bruce manages to insult Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Non-Violent Communication, and even his own ideas, smiling all the while. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let

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43:43

Five Ridiculous Rules for Communicating with Your...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/09/10

Rules for communication! Everyone wants rules for communication! Of dozens of possibilities, here are five popular, common-sense rules--all of them ridiculous. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information. Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is

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27:02

I Watch Porn. Do I Need to Tell My Partner? Episode 44

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/09/03

We're responding to a provocative question posed by a letter to Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus: If you watch porn, do you have to tell your partner about it? What are the pros and cons? Is porn okay at all, and if it is, how should a couple deal with it? Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information. Dr. Chalmer's

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56:36

Communication, Sex, Intimacy--We're Live! Episode 43

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/08/17

We're live! (Well, we taped before a live audience!) Check out our discussion of communication (it's still not about communication!), sex, intimacy, and other topics, with provocative and personal questions from our audience. Thanks to Temple Sinai in South Burlington, Vermont for hosting this event. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit

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30:03

Beshert: Our Own Love Story - Episode 42

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/08/06

We talk about a lot of couples. But what about our own story? Thanks to a listener question, we tell all (well, we tell a lot!). Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information. Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you

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53:02

Sex Points: An Interview with Author and Sex...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/07/16

Did you know that sexual desire and sexual arousal aren't the same--that you can be capable of arousal but have little desire, or have a lot of desire but experience little arousal? We have a lively, engaging interview with the Orthodox Sex Guru and Queen of Vibrators herself, Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus, whose book Sex Points was released earlier this year. The series on vibrators Bat Sheva mentions can be found here. Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by the Fyre and Lightning Consort

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54:23

Humor, Improv, and Relationships: An Interview with...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/07/09

What's funny got to do with couples therapy? We talk to Izzy Gesell, a funny man who teaches us how to let ourselves be vulnerable enough to risk being foolish--and along the way, opens our hearts. We play an improv game to illustrate that takes a rather risqué turn! Izzy's website is IzzyG.com. Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by the Fyre and Lightning Consort. Visit us at brucechalmer.com/podcast. Get Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark here or wherever you get books.

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31:05

I Had An Affair. Am I a Total Screw-Up? Episode 39

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/07/04

If you had an affair, are you a total screw-up? Is there hope for healing? What if your partner cheated? Spoiler alert: Healing is possible--but it's not easy. We talk about cheating, guilt, apologies, and the possibility that a couple can survive an affair. And we handle a listener question from someone who's in the middle of it. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on

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33:03

My Mother-in-Law is Crazy! Episode 38

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/06/28

Help! My mother-in-law is crazy, and I don't know how to handle it! When you marry someone, you're marrying their family too. We talk about how to manage difficult in-laws, and transform a crazy relationship into an enriching one. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information. Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the

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01:04:11

Getting the Juices Flowing - An Interview with Sex...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/06/20

A delightful conversation with Susan Bratton, who teaches couples how to go from just having sex to making love. Susan tells us about the Sexual Soulmate Pact, how to get the juices flowing even when desire has been long gone, and how both women and men can learn to say what they want and hear what their partner needs. Susan shows us her favorite vibrators, and tells us how to use them. Rated PG-13. Susan's websites we mention in the podcast are: sexualsoulmatepact.com, personallifemedia.com, and

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35:37

It's Not About Communication! Episode 36

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/04/30

Okay, let's get snarky. Everybody comes in to couples therapy saying, "We need to communicate better." No you don't! (Well, you probably don't--okay, it's complicated.) We talk about why it's not about how you talk. And then we handle a listener question. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information. Dr. Chalmer's

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40:20

Can A Marriage Survive Deception? An Interview with...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/04/18

Your wife has just tricked you into giving your irrevocable blessing to the wrong son. Can you get past that? We interview Isaac and Rebecca, and along the way we learn how complicated things can get when the voice of God gets involved. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information. Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting

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37:38

Can You Have Too Much Faith? An Interview with...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/04/07

What would you do if your husband had just taken your son to sacrifice him, and was stopped at the last second? Sarah and Abraham reached out to us to help them with the marital fallout from this event, and we do our best to offer a path to reconciliation--with mixed success. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more

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33:57

What Do You Mean, "Faith is What Heals People?" -...

Couples Therapy In Seven Words ·

2021/03/19

Wait a minute. Our seven-word formula says, "Be kind, don't panic, and have faith." And I (Bruce) go around claiming that it's the faith part that heals people. So what does that mean? We pick up on some reviewer comments, and some questions from Judy, and explore what faith means in the context of helping couples heal. Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you! And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show

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222 results

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