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PODCAST

The Overwhelmed Brain

Paul Colaianni: Relationship and Emotional Abuse Expert

Get to the root of emotional issues and learn the best way to relate to yourself and others by honoring your personal boundaries and making decisions that are in alignment with what"s most important to you. This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won"t be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

54:54

Stopping the head games

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/04/10

When someone plays head games with you, they're not telling you the whole truth. Perhaps they are lying altogether. The problem is, you can't always pinpoint what they're doing, you just know something's not right. What to do... I try to tackle that today.

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55:04

When is it time to wean your parents off of you?

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/04/03

There's a point where you've left the nest and started living your own life. But some parents haven't let you go. Some tell you how to live your life. Some are just toxic and won't leave you alone or stop telling you what to do. And some just don't want to let go of the parenting role because they think you can't handle life. There's a point you have to help them let you go.

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01:13:16

To compromise, sacrifice, or support no matter what

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/03/27

When it comes to relationships, I think it's best to support the other person as much as possible. The trick is doing so while you disagree with what they're doing. Choosing to instead reject or deny what they want to do for themselves could lead to tension and changes of behavior you may not like. Is it best to sacrifice who you are for them? Or can you reach a compromise? Sometimes even supporting someone you love isn't enough.

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01:15:42

Balancing your life with only those things and people...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/03/20

Sometimes a friendship takes an unexpected turn. Who you thought was your bestie suddenly leaves you out of an important event in their life or doesn't share things they used to share with you. What's going on in that case? Have they changed? Are they suddenly unhappy with you? I talk about that and also read a message from someone who is looking for the mental fortitude to create forward momentum in his life. Visit for more episodes

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01:06:40

The pressure that builds when you can't let go of the...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/03/13

The pressure that builds inside you when you don't say or do what you really want to say or do has to come out. Holding on to negativity is like keeping your hand on the hot stove and expecting not to get burned. You can express and release the negativity on your terms, or it can surprise you by coming out around people you love later. Visit for more episodes

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59:21

Are you judgmental toward people that bother the heck...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/03/06

We can be so critical sometimes, especially toward people we love. Is it necessary to continue being judgmental or critical toward people that never change? Is it our job to change them? Judgments really have no place in relationships but when they are there, they almost always lead to disconnect and resentment. Visit for more episodes

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01:10:38

When you want the greener grass on the other side -...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/02/27

When the life you have looks a lot less appealing than the life you could have, you may have lots of feelings about it. You may even obsess about it. What can you do about these thoughts? Is it time to give up and give in to a mundane life, or can you reconnect with the way you used to feel? Visit for more episodes

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01:04:03

Is there such thing as an instant soul mate or is...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/02/20

When you meet someone and instantly feel love at first sight, like they're your "soulmate" or "the one," it's possible that not only are they not the one, but they may actually be the one person you want to get away from in a few months. There are many caveats to meeting someone you have an instant connection with. I talk about that and more in this episode. For more episodes, visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/podcasts

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01:15:17

Not everything is your fault

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/02/13

You might take the fall for a lot of things that happen when you probably don't need to. Sometimes, that's a kind thing to do. But when it happens more often than not, especially with certain people, you're probably in a toxic (tox-sick) situation that needs to be resolved. Visit for more episodes

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01:04:10

Does bad behavior ever deserve a free pass?

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/02/06

Is saying "I didn't mean it," a good excuse for bad behavior? Some people can be out of control due to drugs or alcohol, so they might do stupid things when they don't really mean to do them. However, should you ever allow the stupid or hurtful things that people do slide? Should you ever give a free pass to someone for unintentional bad behavior? Visit for more episodes.

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01:16:14

The smile of denial that keeps you feeling miserable

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/01/30

If you tend to suppress your thoughts and repress your emotions, and put on a smile to show the world, you might be on your way to depression and anxiety. If that's your goal, don't change a thing! However, if you want to change that trajectory, it might be time to make different choices that empower you. For more episodes visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/podcasts

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01:15:04

Is honoring yourself supposed to destroy relationships?

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/01/23

Honoring yourself doesn't have to be about hurting someone else. It's not about making them feel bad, it's about expressing to them what makes you feel bad and what you will and won't accept for behavior. Problems arise when you choose to become hurtful toward them instead of focusing on your own needs. This can turn emotionally abusive really fast. Sometimes it feels like we have no choice, but there's almost always a choice. You just have to know how to make the right choice so that perhaps the

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01:09:07

Are you being mean but don't mean to be?

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/01/16

Arguments are never fun. When you both take a stand to make your points, it can lead to some heated exchanges. You can recover from a heated exchange. But when the argument takes a turn to insulting and belittling words, the chances of recovery and the quality of the relationship decreases. https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/

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01:14:36

Following the path that serves you best even if it...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/01/09

Sometimes you have to let things go and take a new road in order to find a sense of peace and comfort inside yourself. The new road may come with a high price that has an even higher reward. Are you going to pay the high price for the reward, or take a longer path that involves a bit more mental labor? They are both challenging but they both lead to an outcome that is worth the journey. https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/

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01:13:41

The pain of loss

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2022/01/02

The pain of loss shouldn't be stuffed down and avoided, it should be felt at the deepest level, but only when you're ready and only at the pace you can handle. Everyone experiences loss differently so what works for one person may not work for you. In this episode, I help you connect with the deeper layers underneath the loss so that perhaps there can be some small release or relief. This isn't about healing, it's about connecting. And sometimes that's all that's needed to start healing. Visit for

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01:04:39

Stuffing emotions way down there

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/12/26

Whenever you deal with an event that upsets you in some way, if you stuff an emotion down and never deal with it then or later, you're going to experience a diminishing of your overall level of happiness and satisfaction in life. Repressed emotions do not disappear until they are dealt with in some way. Physical pain can even develop from unresolved negative emotions and alter your life significantly, so it's always good to address them sooner than later.

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58:00

How you can sabotage your own happiness waiting for...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/12/19

Waiting for someone to change is often a waste of time. They can promise and tell you they're working on it, but are they? Has anything changed in the past day, month, or year? Or do things seem eerily familiar day after day? Sometimes we sabotage our own path to happiness waiting for someone to follow through on a commitment they said they'd do. When they don't however, what's your next step?

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01:12:42

Questions to ask yourself to get to the deepest layer...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/12/12

We all know that anger and upset can hide so many emotions that you may not even know what's under there. If you become emotionally triggered and wish you didn't, learning which questions to ask yourself so that you can get to the heart of some deeper, repressed emotions may be the path to feeling better.

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01:10:58

How complex does something have to get before you...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/12/05

Sometimes life can take you in a direction you don't want to go. But you don't always have to end up with the bottom-of-the-barrel results you may get. It might take some planning and some scary steps, but there is a way to alter the course of your life for the better. If life is a bit too complex, it might be time to correct your course and find another way.

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01:28:25

Training yourself ahead of time to deal with...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/11/28

There's always someone that's harder to deal with than most other people in your life. And when you have to deal with them, do you have all the self-empowerment tools at your disposal to get through the interaction unscathed? Whether you do or not, practice makes perfect. This is a jam-packed episode filled with your practice steps to self-empowerment so that difficult situations aren't so difficult.

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