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PODCAST

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG

Dumb-Dumbs & Dice

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG is a Dumb-Dumbs & Dice live-play podcast where professional voice actors and improvisers journey into the grim darkness of the 41st millenium - playing the Genesys adaptation of Warhammer 40K"s "Dark Heresy" TTRPG! Join Inquisitor Lucius Valentyne, and hive-bred siblings Lyric and Alto, as this unlikely trio try to save the Emperor from a cabal of mysterious enemies! This series features our Game Master Tom McGee (@mcgeetd), and regular players

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All Episodes

47:16

2.28 - Every Man Is His Own World

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/12/22

The band convinced Vulcan that Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) was Rancid and acquired the crown from the heist. Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) and Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) interrogated witnesses and procured a sample of Vance’s blood, Seth’s (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) investigation of the corpses left him with more questions than answers, and Piper approached Ignatious Ironforth to examine the weapons used in the attack. Will their collective evidence yield any real answers? Featuring

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80:40

2.27 - The Blood Price

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/12/09

After Warden and Jacinta narrowly escaped the Skullshield attack and retaliation, the Inquisitorial band was immediately forced to fight as fire rained down on Rancid and the House leaders. Who orchestrated such a coordinated and brazen assassination attempt and, more immediately, will Piper’s (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) disguise fool Bane’s representative long enough to win the heist? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan LaPlante (@theryanlaplante), and players Tom McGee (@mcgeetd) as Interrogator

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57:59

2.26 - The Deadly Hiss

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/12/02

The heist has commenced! Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) and Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) disguised themselves and destroyed the cameras following them, Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) clandestinely obtained a blood sample from Crungus Markus, and Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) determined through meditation that she was correct to have doubts about Nero. Will the band compromise their position to defend the Inquisitorial Taurox against a Skullshield attack? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan

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49:47

2.25 - Changing Places

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/11/25

The Inquisitorial band arrived at the citadel for the heist. Piper’s (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) disguise caused Gazzy to question his faith in their abilities, Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) paraded Invictus around to distract the guests, and Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) realized that it was House Vance’s new team member, Jacinta Skullshield, who attacked them at their hotel. How will the band slip away under watchful cameras and a vengeful Jacinta out for blood? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan

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60:51

2.24 - I Know What You Did

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/11/18

The Inquisitorial band apprised Gazzy Colon of their plan. Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) intimated to Gazzy that the Inquisition’s activities were more important than planetary politics, Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) arranged for weapons to be stashed at the ball, and Piper’s (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) alterations will require her psyker powers to convince anyone that she is Rancid. Can the band find a son or daughter of Fabius Bile amidst the chaos of the heist? Featuring our Game

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54:06

2.23 - Triumph & Despair

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/11/11

The Inquisitorial band have prepared for the heist. Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) proposed that Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) impersonate Rancid Colon, Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) made Seth and Piper realize that—despite Nero’s (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) shortcomings—he’s still managed to keep them all alive, and—since Warden cannot enter the ball—a bomb was planted in Piper’s brain as a failsafe. Just how long will the band’s disguises fool the Dominion Omnium’s rulers? Featuring our

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49:44

2.22 - The Anatomy Of A Heist

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/11/04

The Inquisitorial band found themselves mired in conflict. Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) revealed that she’d precipitated a cold war between Houses Vance and Colon, Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) sent a warning of Nero’s (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) heretical behaviour to her mentor on Terra, and Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) prompted Nero to report on their progress—or lack thereof—to the Inquisitor. Will they be capable of following orders and focusing only on the Homo Novus? Featuring our

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56:00

2.21 - A Call From On High

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/10/28

The Inquisitorial band sought out vital information. They confirmed that Gazzy Colon and Lucia Bane’s blood matched their genetic profiles, a book on “The Myth of Kournos and Isabella” was found, and Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) hacked into House Vance’s files, inadvertently starting a cold war between Vance and Colon. How will the band survive the heist as Colon representatives against their new Vance enemies? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan LaPlante (@theryanlaplante), and players Tom McGee

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55:24

2.20 - Kournos and Isabella

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/10/21

The Inquisitorial band were caught unawares in an ambush. As the rest of the band scrambled to defend themselves, two Aeldari appeared to Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd), quickly disposed of the threats to him, and then delivered a cryptic message, seemingly addressing him as Count Kournos. Will the band really give up on “the whole Count Kournos thing” as per Nero’s orders? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan LaPlante (@theryanlaplante), and players Laura Hamstra (@elhamstring) as Piper Fairley, Tyler

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43:30

2.19 - Assassins in the Night

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/10/14

The Inquisitorial band once again heard a psyker-based voice speaking of a Young Count Kournos. Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) remained convinced that Horus was still alive, Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt), Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic), and Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) revealed that they had each been blackmailed by a different house leader, and Olianne misinterpreted advice about Nero, but to what end? Who knows what Seth did? And more immediately, who just burst into their rooms

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67:24

2.18 - What You Did

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/10/07

A number of bargains were struck with the House leaders. Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) secured Bane’s support and planted a tracker on her, Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) acquired Markus’s protection, and Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) prevented Vance from revealing her psychic interference in the match, but all at the expense of owing each House a favour in return. Now what does Horus have to do with the psychic template that has replaced Nero's (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) memories

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64:46

2.17 - Threats and Promises

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/09/30

While Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) was in surgery, the Hive’s leaders debated how the games should proceed. Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) expressed that the governor must be executed for the presence of Xenos, but was overruled by the Hive’s Officio Inquisitorius, whose representative decided the band must continue to compete for House Colon. How will House leaders react to Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) declaring her own team the victors of round one? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan LaPlante

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36:48

2.16 - The Inquisition Arrives

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/09/23

The Inquisitorial band flexed their authority to avert disaster. Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) told Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) to kill him and take control if things were to go poorly, and Olianne was miraculously able to stabilize Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt), who was taken away to have his lungs replaced. With an impromptu conference of the House leaders about to begin, what will become of the already tenuous situation now that the Inquisition is involved? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan

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56:08

2.15 - We’re Losing Him

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/09/16

Round four of the match escalated for the Inquisitorial band. Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) pulled Skullshield into the arena and revealed his rosette, convincing Skullshield to fight with them, Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) and Warden joined the fray, and the Dark Aeldari fled, but not before Warden accidentally shot Seth. Will the band be able to stabilize Seth and save his life as the guards coming rushing in? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan LaPlante (@theryanlaplante), and players Laura

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49:15

2.14 - Speed and Freedom

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/09/09

Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) decided it was more strategic for the band to win the tournament and renegotiated Pedes’s cut of the winnings. Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd), ignoring the combat entirely, fired a grappling gun at Skullshield to draw him into the arena in retribution for bringing Dark Aeldari to the fight. Can Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) hold her own against these formidable foes, and will Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) manage to set aside her fears to help them win

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38:27

2.13 - Round Four

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/09/02

Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) successfully blinded Markus’s fighters, but it was clear that someone had interfered. Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) tried to convince Pedes to spread the rumour that Vance is rigging the games, Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) had the most successful combat imaginable, and Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) isn’t sure how to interpret this wild-eyed mania of his. He’s still their leader, but is he becoming unhinged and perhaps somewhat…heretical? Featuring our Game

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48:50

2.12 - Round Three

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/08/26

The Inquisitorial band survived the second round, but Lucia Bane’s team was left with only one fighter and unlikely to win. This prompted Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) to change the plan to win the fight instead, and change Skullshield’s bet to favour themselves. How will this new plan match up against 3 Orks and 5 Grotz “Waaaaagh”-ing and shooting before they’re even out into the arena? Featuring our Game Master, Ryan LaPlante (@theryanlaplante), and players Tom McGee (@mcgeetd) as

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43:37

2.11 - Round Two

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/08/26

Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) and Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) fought valiantly and survived the first wave of combat. Seth (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) honoured the deal with Skullshield and convinced Pedes Foetidum to bet all of Skullshield’s 100,000,000 thrones on the fight, while Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) sat in frustration, hesitant to use her psyker abilities amongst potential cultist threats. Will the valiant gladiators survive the next wave, this time against Arco-Flagellants

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33:55

2.10 - The Games Begin

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/08/12

The revelation of Nero’s (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) mind-wipe has the Inquisitorial band at odds after Piper (Laura Hamstra, @elhamstring) mind-scanned him without his consent. Seth rallied (Tyler Hewitt, @Tyler_Hewitt) them all to focus on priorities and, between his subtlety and Olianne’s (Del Borovic, @deltastic) apparent charm, they procured two fighters for their attempt to ensure Lucia Bane’s victory in the arena. How will they fair in battle against two Grox and a Saurian Carnosaur? Find out next,

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71:20

2.09 - Negotiations of the Heart

The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG ·

2021/08/05

The Inquisitorial band regrouped to share the intelligence they’d gathered. They have gained the services of Ignatious Ironforth of the Adeptus Mechanicus, the Arbites are now only a vox call away, and Olianne (Del Borovic, @deltastic) made the horrifying discovery that Nero (Tom McGee, @mcgeetd) has been mind-wiped by a psyker. How will the rest of the party—and Nero himself—react to this disturbing revelation? Find out next, in this episode of The Valentyne Heresy! Featuring our Game Master, Ryan

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