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PODCAST

Untoxicated Podcast

Matt & Sheri Salis

Sheri and Matt Salis just wanted a normal life – normal marriage, normal careers, a normal house and happy kids. Instead, they lived a life of lies and terror as they struggled with Matt’s alcoholism. While their experience sounds rare, with over 15 millions problem drinkers in America, their alcoholic marriage was all too normal. Matt has been writing about their experiences in alcoholism and recovery for years. On the Untoxicated Podcast, Sheri and Matt talk about it, too. No subjects are off

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

1:02:29

Ep55 – The 2 Keys to Ending the Alcoholism Epidemic

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/09/28

Being a part of the alcoholism recovery community is all about putting out fires that are already started. That's important, but that's not what this conversation is about. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about preventing the fires from starting - they discuss the two things we need to do as a society and culture to cure the epidemic of alcoholism that afflicts more people than suffer from cancer and kills way more than three million people a year. We need to tie the resulting damage to

en-US

1:21:55

Ep54 – Jane’s Pain and Anger from Being In It

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/09/21

If you've listened to the Untoxicated Podcast before, you know Sheri's and Matt's story is not unique, because you are probably in the middle of a similar trauma. Still, experiencing alcoholism, as the drinker or as the loved one, is a tremendously isolating and lonely place to be. To help you feel less alone, Sheri and Matt invited Jane to share her pain and anger on this episode. Jane talks about how frustrating it is to be in the middle of it and find resources that resonate. There is clinical

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54:00

Ep53 – Inspiration from Matt’s Mediocrity

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/09/14

Listeners and readers often share that they can't imagine their alcoholic spouses reaching the level of clarity that Matt and Sheri share on this podcast. Matt is nothing special, and his mediocrity should inspire others to believe an enlightened recovery from alcoholism is possible. In this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the heaviness that penetrates everything. Matt runs through his lack-luster life accomplishments, and Sheri rethinks her life choices. They try to lighten the mood and bring

en-US

57:54

Ep52 – A Message for Your Alcoholic Partner

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/09/07

As an active alcoholic, Matt thought all of his attempts to control his drinking, his pontifications about how it would be different this time, and his complaints about how bad he felt after a binge, were of interest to Sheri. They were not. In fact, over time, they drove a wedge of resentment into the marriage that would take years to extract. Sobriety didn't fix anything. When the alcohol was gone, the problems became more obvious. In this episode, Matt and Sheri talk directly to the alcoholics

en-US

39:39

Ep51 – How Sheri’s Cold Detachment Contributed to...

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/08/31

After a decade of developing disdain for her alcoholic husband, the disease transformed Sheri into a bit of bitch. And now, looking back, no one is happier about the bitchiness than Matt. Sheri and Matt talk about the internal pain that Matt required in order to finally make it over the hump to permanent sobriety. The alcohol-induced depression and anxiety were debilitating, but the extremely cold shoulder from his wife was painful as well. And it was a major contributing factor in his eventual

en-US

43:59

Ep50 – The Raw, Naked Truth about Socializing Sober

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/08/24

Socializing sober is not just a challenge for alcoholics in recovery. Everyone impacted by this disease has to find a groove in a society that depends on alcohol for all social occasions. In this episode, Matt complains about stinky beer breath while Sheri glares in disbelief that he has the nerve to verbalize such a complaint from the same hole that used to ruminate in stinky beer breath. Matt also makes a regrettable comment about how with a world full of men like him, he's surprised every woman

en-US

58:46

Ep49 – Getting from Here to the Relationship You Want

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/08/10

Sobriety doesn't fix anything, but it is a prerequisite for recovery from an alcoholic marriage. Once we realize we have removed alcohol, and our relationship is getting worse, we've got a lot of work to do. And the journey is a bitch. On this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about how much scarier recovery is than addiction, learning to listen to our instincts, moving past insecurities and why trust isn't just something you push through and make yourself feel. This one is deep, and we hope our

en-US

1:01:04

Ep48 – Fairytale: When Relationship Recovery Feels...

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/08/03

We asked a group of loved ones of alcoholics to read a chapter of our book, soberevolution, that will be released on September 23rd. The chapter is titled "Healing Wounds," and it is about working through the resentments of an alcoholic marriage, dealing with damage done to the kids, rebuilding trust and the important role of patience. The focus group described the chapter as a fairytale. They did not feel like their alcoholic relationships could ever reach the goal of repair. In this episode,

en-US

53:53

Ep47 – The Emotional Volatility of Living with...

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/07/27

We talk a lot of the trauma and pain of living with an alcoholic, but we rarely share the details. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the emotional struggles of confronting alcoholism head on, trying not to engage because it is pointless, and the triggers that make ignoring the problem impossible. The advice of experts is helpful, but human instinct sometimes makes following best practices impossible. Sheri relives the emotional moments and the reactions they caused. If you are the loved

en-US

56:19

Ep46 – Impact: Here’s Why You’re Not a Failure

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/07/20

Recovery is not a binary choice. You are not a success if you are sober, and a failure if you relapse. The same is true for the loved ones of alcoholics. Perfection should not be the goal. Progress should. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the impact that we make on the people around us in our pursuit of recovery from our alcoholic marriage. Sheri calls it transformation (helpful), and Matt talks about Olympic javelin throwers stabbing themselves in the foot (less helpful). They both agree

en-US

56:02

Ep45 – The Revealing Truth of Sobriety

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/07/13

I thought I was so funny, cute, smart and charming when I was drinking. Little did I know, I was just a loud and boorish bloviator of intoxicated rambling. Now I'm sober. Now I see it. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the stark reality of sobriety, and the honest challenges that come along with the good of no longer poisoning my brain. As our roles in our relationship shift, and our contributions to the marriage come into balance, the reality is emotional. If you would like to connect

en-US

56:24

Ep44 – You Drank Yourself Silly: The Brain Chemistry...

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/07/06

If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, it is easy to blame poor lifestyle choices and lack of willpower for the jam your abusive drinker has gotten the both of you into. But it is far more complex than that, and tragically misunderstood. In this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the brain chemistry of alcoholism. We especially look at it from Sheri's perspective as her opinions changed through her education and understanding of what was really going on in Matt's noggin. If you resonate with this

en-US

59:26

Ep43 – Relationship Recovery Dry Relapse

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/06/29

A dry drunk is a label associated with someone who white-knuckles his way through sobriety. A dry drunk might not be drinking alcohol, but he is not learning, growing or seeking the enlightenment of recovery. Sheri and Matt are in the middle of a raw and traumatic dry relapse in their relationship recovery. Alcohol has had no place in their marriage for 3 1/2 years now, but the lack of trust and need to be trusted has sent us reeling into a pit of despair as though we are still in active alcoholism

en-US

44:11

Ep42 – The Alcohol is Gone, But the Asshole Lingers

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/06/22

One of the most common concerns Sheri and Matt hear from the loved ones of alcoholics is, "He's a drunk asshole now, but what if he sobers up, and he's still an asshole?" The processes of alcoholism sobriety and relationship recovery are long and arduous, and they take as much patience as they require effort. Just as alcoholism is a progressive disease, there is a progression to recovery. We don't lose our asshole-ness as soon as we put down the drink. It takes time, and the final destination isn't

en-US

54:07

Ep41 – Parenting Sober: Journey into the Unknown

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/06/08

Sheri and Matt had drastically different exposures to alcohol when we were growing up, and we carried that experience into our parenting roles. Our kids were all exposed to Matt's alcoholism, to varying degrees because of their different ages, but now, they are all exposed to this experiment where both parents are both sober and educated on the dangers of alcohol. On this episode, we talk about our excitement about the outcomes so far of our approach to parenting in recovery. But we also share our

en-US

48:49

Ep40 – Friendships Lost in Recovery

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/05/26

Sheri and Matt are big believers in the power of vulnerability, and the huge gains in enlightenment and healing we have made as a result of recovering out loud. But in this episode, we talk about friendships lost through the recovery process. These losses are a real thing, and they cannot be ignored. But then we pull the conversation out of the ditch and talk about how thankful we are for the profoundly deep and meaningful friendships that would not be possible if not for the recovery of our

en-US

57:49

Ep39 – Instinct Over Insecurity: When Pushing It Down...

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/05/18

Sheri and Matt talk about the evolving process of learning to trust instincts. The greatest challenge to listening to what she knows to be true are the lingering alcoholic relationship insecurities. We share the "lightbulb moment" from our Echoes of Recovery program which provides connection for the loved ones of alcoholics. The sharing and communication gives a validation of instincts not available anywhere else in the recovery world. Echoes of Recovery is loved ones of alcoholics helping other

en-US

47:10

Ep38 – It Turns Out My Wife’s Not a Bitch

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/05/08

I had a huge ego as an active alcoholic. I thought I was great. My wife, Sheri, found me repulsive and stupid, and she felt betrayed by my love of alcohol. When I stopped drinking, Sheri's feelings and attitude did not automatically change. I was sober and our relationship continued to deteriorate. I thought I was married to a bitch. In this episode, Matt and Sheri talk about my awakening - my realization that our relationship problems were not all her fault. The challenge of blaming the disease,

en-US

49:09

Ep37 – It’s Sheri’s Turn: A Sense of Recovery Urgency

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/04/27

Active alcoholism is selfish, but everyone knows that. Early sobriety is equally selfish, but this time, for a good reason. For Matt and Sheri, our relationship has long been about prioritizing Matt's needs while Sheri holds it all together. But the pressure has been building through it all, and without a recovery plan of her own, no amount of time heals the wounds. So now, it is Sheri's turn to be priority number one in the relationship and in her recovery.

en-US

39:17

Ep36 – Sheri’s Lingering Fears from the Trauma of...

Untoxicated Podcast ·

2020/04/14

Three years into recovery from Matt's alcoholism, fearful anticipation lingers for Sheri. In this episode, we discuss the worry and anxiety that Sheri feels when bringing up even the most innocent and uncontroversial of topics, and we talk about how Matt is less judgemental than he was as an arrogant alcoholic. We also laugh about fake poop and dirty underwear.

en-US

275 results

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