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PODCAST

The Fifth Column

Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch

Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition. www.wethefifth.com

news & politics

All Episodes

24:50

Members Only #177 - Bang , Bang, Bing, Bong, Dong,...

The Fifth Column ·

2023/08/24

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* San Francisco again* Song of the South again* TikTok NPC insanity* Colombian Snow White, for the first time* How Obama broke up with his girlfriends * Roger Stone on JFK Jr. And a bit on PressTV * Richy Rich of Richmond * The AnCap of Argentina* If the lads of the Fifth could avoid the dumb outrage, would they ?* Iran, Pakistan, American foreign policy* Are we more polariz…

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64:45

#417 - Free Speech in Philly, Volume 1 (Live w/Lara...

The Fifth Column ·

2023/08/18

* A Moynihan intro on theft and “Jew face”* Lara Bazelon on rap lyrics as evidence, January 6th prosecutions, RICO, prosecutorial insecurity and overreach * Artists, characters, and belief* A Title IX violation is worse than being convicted for robbery * Lara’s new podcast * Greg on Title IX bureaucracy and free speech* The decline of the American university* And much, much more* Stay tuned for volume 2, in which Kmele and Moynihan field questions from college students! This is a public episode. If

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24:30

Members Only #176 - A Fantastic Podcast Recorded in...

The Fifth Column ·

2023/08/14

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* RIP Robbie Robertson* Yeah, so 30 minutes of music talk about The Band, The Doors being bad, listeners getting mad at us, Graham Nash in a book store, Mickey Jones, patriotic Bob, Barry Goldwater, and The Last Waltz. Sorry about that.* I’m going to suggest that you weren’t denied entry into the exclusive club because you’re Asian * But being an Asian-American…

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27:57

Members Only #175 - The Six Million Dollar Racist and...

The Fifth Column ·

2023/08/07

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Richard Hananananananania is very sorry* He has changed. From last week.* Handjobs against racism* Lizzo, bananas, petards* “Everything I do is consequential, baby”* Chasing Fonzie the racist (Ed note: We can neither confirm nor deny this story)* The thing that is true but one cannot say…* Italy is a great but they’ll charge you a toll to cross the room* Irish and Ital…

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108:36

#416 - A Sloppy Summer Pod, Recovered

The Fifth Column ·

2023/08/01

So this one is probably four days old now? But because of the shitty software we use—and the fact that our…ummm….editor is currently on vacation in Italy—it took some serious archeology to salvage the recording. But it sounds fine, it’s a good episode, and Moynihan isn’t at all annoyed about having to upload this from a beach in Forte dei Marmi. The lengths we will go to make you people smarter and happier…So no description. Just listen to the damn thing. This is a public episode. If you’d like to

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25:00

Members Only #174 - Coast to Coast, Until You Say Stop

The Fifth Column ·

2023/07/26

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Matt hasn’t seen Oppenheimer * Brittany Murphy is dead, probably from myocarditis. Kmele is surprised * Found that anti-Qaddafi t-shirt* That stupid interview on Democracy Now* NHJ is America’s greatest historian* Was Moynihan crying? (Moynihan responds: This is fake news)* “But ackshually……..”* Low key good and not great* Richard (not Robert) Frank’s brilliant book* The…

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29:00

Members Only #173 - VICE Disgrace, Racist Boston,...

The Fifth Column ·

2023/07/18

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Kmele and the Dead* Lia hates God* RFK and the race virus* A guilty verdict* The Dersh and jury nullification * The often referenced video of Dersh v. the Fink* A listener retracts his “dickish email”* An email about Boston and music* Is Boston a “racist” city?* Forgetting about bussing * The Irish vs. the WASPs* Moynihan unloads on idiot Vice executives

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117:14

#415 - The Pod of Laughter and Forgetting and Tracy...

The Fifth Column ·

2023/07/14

* This is a very summer episode. Soz. * Moynihan, impanelled* Implicit bias and your cup of coffee* Chipotle paranoia * We interrupt this program for a detailed Welch interregnum of the death of Milan Kundera* Tracy Chapman is “honored” by Luke Combs’s cover. The Washington Post is alarmed* Elvis was a hero to most, but he never…* You didn’t write that song. The “community” did* De La Soul is not Steely Dan* Airbrushing music and film history will save the universe* Actually Tintin in Congo is

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107:17

#414 - Clarifications, Curried Goats, Cocaine Capers

The Fifth Column ·

2023/07/09

* Taking back a “clarification”* Underhoused. Overhoused. Differently housed.* Mayor Adams yells at a Holocaust surviving slave master* Drinking coffee with pictures of dead cops* Who lost the cocaine?* Kamala speechwriter video* The worst person in America is…* That interesting piece about Kevin Kruze’s not interesting book* The Fifth Column agrees: the 4th is pretty great…* Immigration in Europe vs. immigration in the US* Harvard and affirmative action This is a public episode. If you’d like to

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23:20

Members Only #172 - We're Literally Shaking / RFK Redux

The Fifth Column ·

2023/07/04

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* A sick podcast* Revisiting Coleman and RFK* Listeners yelling at Moynihan* Some nice stuff about Moynihan* A clarification from Moynihan* (All of this is re: RFK) * BTW, Sirhan Sirhan was really anti-Semitic* The conspiratorial mind* Are Birchers libertarians on meth?* Taking photos of yourself smoking crack* Matt tells a story about…something* Etc, etc, etc

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129:19

#413 - So Many Idiots (w/ Damon Root)

The Fifth Column ·

2023/07/02

Our old pal Damon Root, author of Overruled: The Long War for Control of the U.S. Supreme Court, stops by to explain why the world is ending and racism won and all new websites will be homophobic and paying your debts is fascism or something. So yeah, the lads discuss the court, affirmative action, student loans and how to eat your gay website cake. Enjoy. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

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101:13

#412 - An RFK Intervention (w/ Coleman Hughes)

The Fifth Column ·

2023/06/24

The great Coleman Hughes sent a pained email. Like many Americans angry about various stupid and sinister government Covid policies, he was now feeling the gravitational pull of a warbly-voiced political outsider from a family of consummate political insiders. He was, of course, starting to fall for Mr. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. To be clear, this wasn’t a full-throated endorsement of Kennedy but, Coleman averred, an understanding where his ever-expanding legion of supporters were coming from. And after

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22:33

Members Only #171 - Bobby, Cormac, and Geddy

The Fifth Column ·

2023/06/19

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.comAnother live Zoom for our handsome, brilliant, and generous subscribers (hence all the weird asides responding to a fast-moving live chat). A few topics covered:* Kmele on Juneteenth * Rush and nerds and whites and wizards * RFK and Rogan and debate* Being brave and calling….* RIP Cormac McCarthy * James Randi “platforming” Uri Geller * Vivek’s Russia stuff* Yalta and …

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97:58

#411 - A Conversation with Vivek Ramaswamy

The Fifth Column ·

2023/06/14

Fresh from his campaign stop in front of a Miami courthouse, presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy stops by the Fifth’s Chinatown studio to very politely argue with Welch and Moynihan about a whole bunch of stuff. Including:* The donor class* What kind of conservative is Vivek?* Populism and free trade* A peace plan for China and Ukraine* The Trump indictment* Would Vivek take a position in a Trump * Vivek leaves, the lads have a tipple* Not many randos this time* Matt and Moyn on the Trump

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105:36

#410 - The Tightening Noose

The Fifth Column ·

2023/06/10

Matt, Moynihan, and Kmele assemble in Chinatown to mull over another Trump indictment. No need for bullet points for this one because beside the predictable digressions into muscle-bound gay birders and homophobic Blue Jays, it’s a lotta Donald. So without further ado…And don’t forget: for the price of one very large coffee, you can help feed the children. Specifically our children. Who are very sad. And very malnourished. And very disappointed in your cheapskatery. For shame. This is a public

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24:00

Members Only #170 - Ukraine Calling (w/ Tim Mak)

The Fifth Column ·

2023/06/09

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.comDespite being in a car in the city of Dnipro, journalist Tim Mak joins Michael Moynihan to talk about leaving NPR, moving to Kiev, and starting The Counteroffensive, his new Substack dedicated to reporting the Ukraine War. A few of the topics covered:* Tim arrived in Kiev the night the war started* Going back to Ukraine—and going independent* Why so many on t…

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29:30

Members Only #169 - Loving the Alien, Shooting Matt...

The Fifth Column ·

2023/06/07

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Ground control to Tucker C. * Episode one of the Bonkers Conspiracy Files* Also, we know what happened to that dam in Ukraine* But back to the white supremacist aliens…* Did the California senate pass on of the dumbest bills of all time? * Root causes and robbing Walgreens* Moynihan loves rooftop Koreans, thinks baby Matt should have been shot in his adorable littl…

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122:35

#409 - Pride Wars, Dumb Tupac, and POC Jim

The Fifth Column ·

2023/06/02

* Kmele is moving to a place where everything is free * ChatGPT is a fabulist * Moynihan’s new Orwell piece * Wikipedia v. AI chatbots* The assassination of (our) Kennedy* Random gossip columnist: Jamie Foxx was murdered by Pfizer * A better America: when Rick James met Linda Blair* BTW: Tupac Shakur was very dumb. And very violent.* Keeping people with dumb politics out of the various halls of fame…* Pride warz….* Root causes and Bud Light and Target and….* Inconsistent baseball atheism * But you

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31:15

Members Only #168 - Trans Pickleball, Debating...

The Fifth Column ·

2023/05/30

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wethefifth.substack.com* Stan Jonathan vs. Pierce Bouchard* The Lia Thomas of Pickleball* Owning a house sucks* “Lia has these books”* Kmele loves Thoreau* Matt hates Thoreau* Feinstein and elder abuse * “…to function”* On gas stoves and gesture science* C.S. knows someone with dumb ideas* Robert Murdoch controls your brain * Legislating curricula * Huey Newton and Eric Clapton

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139:46

#408 - It's For Nobody (w/ Ethan Strauss)

The Fifth Column ·

2023/05/25

* Tina, RIP. Bill Lee, RIP.* Zone of Interest* DeSantis announces* Tim Scott announced too, btw * An increasingly crowded and unimpressive field * Our old pal Ethan Strauss joins* Why does Joe keep saying that…thing about Iraq?* “Trump is sharper than Biden”* An interregnum on Ike Turner* Ethan’s piece on Glen Kuiper * The American employment gulag: exiled forever * Paying indulgences* Is it ok to boycott brands for not having the right politics? A debate* Cruising, the gay Casablanca / Donnie

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