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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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2:33

George is net neutral

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/15

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. When the captain asked him about Net Neutrality, George looked at the netting in the cargo hold and wondered what was so neutered about it. "It just holds things in place when the seas are rough, right?" said George. "I'm not sure why so many people are so up in arms about this stuff." He tugged on the netting a bit to make sure that the cargo was secure, and he smiled proudly. The captain made a note not to ask George about complicated social

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1:11

George and his boomerang

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/14

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. His grip wasn't very strong, so he was always dropping his cutlass during swordfights. And when he fired his pistols, the recoil would kick them up and out of his hands. He tried to tape his sword and pistols to his hands, but that messed up his aim and made it hard to reload the pistols. The captain gave George a boomerang. George threw it, and it circled around and hit George in the back of the head, knocking him out. "Good," said the captain

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1:20

George the baker

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/13

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He was such a poor pirate, people mistook him for many things other than a pirate. One gay couple mistook him for a baker, and they demanded that he bake them a wedding cake. George refused, because he wasn't a baker. The couple sued him, and it went all the way up to the Supreme Court. George lost, so he bought a cake from a professional bakery. When he delivered it, the couple mistook him for a stripper. George more than made up for his legal

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1:43

George’s temporary tattoos

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/12

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Other pirates would get tattoos, but George was afraid of needles. George bought boxes of temporary tattoos, reapplying them every morning. One morning, he got a little mixed up, and he'd applied the tattoos in the wrong places. "Didn't you have the anchor on your arm and the mermaid on your chest yesterday?" said the captain. George shrugged it off, but when he went to sleep that night, his shipmates found the boxes and completely covered

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1:37

George the jammer

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/11

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. One day, he played his guitar along with his daily routine. He was pretty good at it, and his shipmates liked it, and it boosted their morale. George recruited a few shipmates to back him up, a few guitars, bass, keyboards, and drums. Backup singers and a horn section, too. Lights, smoke machines, props, and the sound system required more manpower. Pretty soon, the ship was a floating psychedelic rock jam experience. They soon gave up and

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1:15

George holds a candle

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/10

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. The captain paired up George with a more experienced pirate to learn from. The mentor tried to help George learn from his mistakes and get better. But after years of frustration, he ended up covering for George's mistakes. The mentor recommended that George try meditation. "Light a candle and focus on the flame," he said. So, George did. And he nearly set the ship on fire. The captain picked up a bucket of sand and put out the fire. "I'll get

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12:33

Weekly Challenge #981 – Comment

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/09

TomRichard Lizzie Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Taradiddle RICHARD --- Like, subscribe, comment --- Like, subscribe, comment… the mantra of the internet. But, what if I don't like, don't wish to subscribe and have nothing at all to say? Should I leave a comment anyway, explaining that I've no comment to add? Therein lies the paradox -if I really don't like it, then I really should say so. If I don't, then my protests will remain unheard, but if I

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1:35

George and the tribe

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/08

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Still, it's better to be lucky that good, right? Which is how George, having been bound, gagged, and dumped overboard by his shipmates, found himself on a tropical beach. A strange warrior in a grass skirt and holding a spear gestured at George to follow. So, George followed him to his village. As best George could determine, he was going to be the guest of honor at a feast. "Thank you, I could use a bath," said George, as they dropped him into

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1:25

George the hipster

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/07

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Compared to the greenhorns that the captain had recruited recently, George was a seasoned seadog. Hipsters with fedoras, neckbeards, and thick black glasses. "Pirates are so retro, man," said one of them, sipping his soy mocha latte. Another was trying to dance to the crew's sea shanties. "This is so much better than vinyl." Prety soon they got the hang of sea life, and surpassed George's skills in every way. So, George tried to emulate them,

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1:53

George’s personas

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/06

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. After several failed attempts to pillage, loot, and plunder, George consulted a marketing firm to work up customer personas so he could better target his pirating services. The firm returned a report that laid out generic personalities that George should target, such as merchant ship owners, small badly-defended ports, and sailors on Spanish galleons full of gold. George thanked the marketing firm, and then looted their offices. "But we didn't

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2:05

George and Bob Uecker

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/05

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. You know, like how Bob Uecker was a mediocre baseball player. At least Bob was in beer commercials, movies, television shows, and did play-by-play for the Milwaukee Brewers. George was a pirate. Nothing else. He tried to do play-by-play for his pirate ship, but the crew found it really annoying when he narrated their battles. He'd rattle of statistics and other nonsense as they fought and he sat. "I must be in the front row!" George said, as two

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1:40

George in the lineup

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/04

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. If George were arrested for his crimes on the high seas, people wouldn't be able to pick him out of a lineup. "Number three," the sea captain says. "That's a circus clown," says the detective. "Try again." "Six?" "There isn't a number six." "Oh, wait... I know... number 201." "That's the room number on the door." Exasperated, the detective dismisses the lineup, and George is released. To go back to his ship, free to be a pirate once

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1:09

George’s wine collection

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/03

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. His shipmates drank rum and grog, while he maintained a wine cellar in a corner of the ship's hold. He kept it hidden from the others, stacking up a pile of old sails and crates. Every now and then, someone would spot George tossing an empty bottle over the rail into the sea. "Oh, sorry," he'd say, "that's the last one. If only you'd been around when I opened it." One day, they took heavy cannonfire, and George's precious wine collection was

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16:41

Weekly Challenge #980 – Teach

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/02

Lisa Tom Richard Lizzie Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is COMMENT NORVAL JOE Billbert wandered toward his English class wondering who the red-haired girl might be, and why she would be spying on him. He didn't think he'd ever seen her before, but she was clearly a student at the school. Behind him, someone said, "I should teach you a lesson." Billbert wondered who they might be talking to when another someone grabbed him by the shoulder, spun him

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1:02

George walks the dog

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/02/01

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. The only hostage he ever took was the family dog. And the truth was, he was taking it for a walk. When the kids asked if they could have a dog, they said they'd care for it and walk it, but they didn't. "If I have to take this thing for a walk one more time, I'm taking it to the pound," announced George. The next day, George took the dog for a walk... to the pound. Then he walked to the nearest pirate ship and joined the crew.

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2:05

George’s new career

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/01/31

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. Or, at least that's what the other pirates said. When George took a serious look at his mistakes, he realized that only a few of them were genuinely his fault,. A large amount of the problems were, in fact, other pirates screwing up, but blaming George. This made George very frustrated. And very angry. But would anyone listen? Would anything change? He thought about the captain... the biggest screw-up of all. Probably not. George shrugged and

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14:42

Weekly Challenge #979 – Cork

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/01/26

RichardLizzie Serendipidy Norval Joe Planet Z The next topic is Teach If I overlooked your story for this week, just send it to me with an admonishment and I will get it up on the feed in its own exclusive post. LIZZIE "I don't want to know what you do with those humans. All I know is that when you come back, you can hardly function. You keep yelling Die! Die! Die! and you want to have a plant-based diet for weeks. And there's no point in coming up with excuses. It was the

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1:33

George and the sea serpent

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/01/25

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. He pointed at the map and said "Start with that sea serpent, catch that blowing cloud's winds, and visit that mermaid on top of the treasure chest." "George, those are visual embellishments," said the captain. "They're not real." The rest of the crew laughed at George, and he'd sulk off to his bunk. Late at night, George adjusted the ship's course to head straight for the sea serpent. When they arrived at the spot, there was no serpent. "Oh

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9:51

Weekly Challenge #978 – Postal Bomb

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/01/25

LisaRichard Lizzie Serendipidy Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is Cork RICHARD --- Gone Postal --- It was effectively a postal bomb. When I opened the letter that dropped through my letter box that morning, I suppose you could say its contents caused me life-changing injuries. Everything I thought I knew and depended upon was blown to pieces in that moment, trust was destroyed and the shrapnel and fallout from that letter continues to cause me pain and

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1:44

George’s union

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2025/01/24

George was a pirate, but he wasn't a very good pirate. His job was on the line, so he did what any sensible uneducated manual laborer does in such a circumstance. "We should unionize," George told his shipmates. "We need better wages, working conditions, health care, and retirement benefits!" The crew discussed this, and then voted for a strike and threw down their cutlasses. Even the parrot was on strike, demanding higher-quality crackers. Eventually, the captain agreed. But the next time when

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