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PODCAST

Dear Hank & John

Hosts John and Hank Green (authors and YouTubers) offer both humorous and heartfelt advice about life’s big and small questions. They bring their personal passions to each episode by sharing the week’s news from Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (the fourth-tier English football club).

society & culture philosophy

All Episodes

00:35:39

230: The Hot Love of Angry Pigeons

Dear Hank & John ·

2020/03/09

How do I stop losing forks? How do I handle my cat's internet fame? What's your favorite bird? How do I quit my job? What do I do when my job runs out of pasta? Why do some chairs have butt grooves? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn Subscribe to the Nerdfighteria

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00:39:55

229: You Don't Know When the Sickness Is Coming (w/...

Dear Hank & John ·

2020/03/02

Should I go to a concert if my recent ex will be there? How do book blurbs work? Can a two-person book club even function? How do I become a better writer? How do I entertain myself while stuck in a department store? Should I feel guilty about making less money than my partner? How do I help my parents understand that Amsterdam is safe? John Green and Sarah Urist Green have answers!If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an

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00:43:52

228: You Say Banana, I Say Banana (w/ Rosianna Halse...

Dear Hank & John ·

2020/02/24

How do I cope with my unrequited love for Timothée Chalamet? Why have I started exclusively reading non-fiction? How can I both support and express concern for my mom's world-class Candy Crush skills? What's the expiration date on a frozen turkey? How can I tell if my fiancée thinks my grandma starred in The Sound of Music? How do I keep a journal? How do I entertain myself without looking at a screen? How do I feel better about accidentally growing the wrong plants? John Green and Hank Green have

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00:39:59

227: One-Star Statue Reviews

Dear Hank & John ·

2020/02/17

Where do I start with Star Trek? Where does water go when I turn the faucet off? Why does my nose produce more snot when I cry? Should I ask permission before I sharpen my roommate's knives? How do I become less emotionally attached to a statue I don't own? Is it okay to wear white to a bride-less wedding reception? Is there a way to use social media without getting drawn into arguments? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us

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00:40:12

226: It Is the Monkey

Dear Hank & John ·

2020/02/10

How close is the sky to the ground? How do you keep the words that captivate you from slipping away? Is it okay to have doubts on the day of your wedding? Could I keep my spouse's calcified heart on my desk? What do I do if I'm trapped in a car due to skunk? How do I properly use the phrase "It's all downhill/uphill from here"? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly

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00:39:49

225: It’s a Hit and They Get Kicked (Live From St....

Dear Hank & John ·

2020/02/03

How can I find time to do all the things? If I smack someone with my lower limb prosthetic, am I kicking them? What is the oddest combination of food you’ve seen someone eating? What if I love something everyone hates? Did you ever consider throwing in the towel? When do you figure out how to solve adult problems? What do I do about my leg’s fart sounds? How can I appear older in a room full of high school students? How do I convince my spouse to move for my improv group? John Green and Hank Green

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00:39:41

224: The Octopuscene

Dear Hank & John ·

2020/01/27

What happens to balloons when they fly away into the sky? How do I record a video of myself? Who should you thank? Can bees feel happy and sad? When does the Anthropocene end? How do I get my boyfriend to take ghost travel seriously? What does Kindle highlighting say about humanity? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on

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00:40:41

223: All at Once for Everyone

Dear Hank & John ·

2020/01/20

What hobbies should I take up while my feet are broken? What would you like to come back as in your next life? Am I "just a teacher"? What is the proper response to a cheese burglar? What should I do about the snoring guy? Is there an American seasoning? How long should you keep Christmas cards? How do you deal with reliving a horrible moment over and over again? Why does my daughter keep asking if I'm hungry? What is proper puzzle protocol? John Green and Hank Green have answers. If you're in need

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00:39:48

222: Just a Man Who’s Lost His Dongle

Dear Hank & John ·

2020/01/13

What should I do with my art money? What do you do if you miss a flight? Are gas giants just tiny planets with big atmospheres? Why does my brain release endorphins for things that are bad for me? What should we do with the bird in the freezer? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on

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00:49:35

221: Favorites of the 2010s

Dear Hank & John ·

2020/01/06

In this special episode of the pod, John Green and Hank Green discuss their favorites of the past decade! Topics include: Favorite bookFavorite poemFavorite dad jokeFavorite TV showFavorite tripFavorite songsFavorite sports momentFavorite Cheeto Guy momentBest conversationFavorite weird enthusiasm We'll be back to giving dubious advice next week, so send your questions to hankandjohn@gmail.com! Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us

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00:37:11

220: Haunted Christmas Trees

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/12/23

Is it okay to go to your old house and ask if you can walk through it? How do you research? How do you interject in conversations smoothly? Can you unpickle a pickle? What should my rice crispy sculpture be? Can I enjoy religious music as an atheist? How do you sell yourself? Will this tree haunt us? John Green and Hank Green have answers! Tour info: https://www.hankandjohn.com/appearances If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an

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00:37:22

219: How to Become Part Crow

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/12/16

What is the proper reaction to a canceled Shawn Mendes concert? When should I wear my fancy diamond gold pretzel necklace? What am I supposed to do with the urn my dog's ashes were in? Why do hamsters like wheels? Why are there so few new Christmas songs? Could I get a blood transplant from a crow? Why don't we talk about the moon during the day? John Green and Hank Green have answers. Tour info: https://www.hankandjohn.com/appearances If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at

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00:40:27

218: Hank & John's Airport Stories

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/12/09

Why shouldn't I take my temperature after I eat? Will my fingerprint grow back? How will COPPA affect Crash Course? Can my bottle of frozen water get through TSA? At what age are you supposed to use the money in your piggy bank? What are the noises that landlines make when you dial a number? Could Bill Gates cure cancer? Will stickers be our civilization's cave art? Hank Green and John Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly

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00:37:56

217: Rocks to Earth 2028!

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/12/02

Can stinging insects sting other insects? What is the scientific difference between stuffy and fresh air? Why aren't there many books about twenty-somethings? When did limos become uncool? How do I survive as the fifth wheel at Disney World? How do we know no two snowflakes are alike? What do you do on a bus with 51 twelve-year-olds? John Green and Hank Green have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly

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00:39:30

216: Zombie Turtle Party

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/11/25

Why do we say “head over heels”? What should I wear to a Mountain Goats concert? What is the best thing that happened during the 2010s? Do airplanes have horns? What is my boyfriend’s interesting news?? How much money would I need to donate to PIH to get you to go bungee jumping or skydiving? What should I bring to a zombie turtle party besides a shovel? Justice or mercy? What happened to the short poems? John Green and Hank Green have answers. If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at

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00:38:55

215: The Big Card

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/11/18

Is it acceptable to put sugar on cottage cheese? Can a Ravenclaw wear Slytherin merch? How do I stop stressing about stress? How do we know what's at the center of the Earth? Should British people get a constitution? Why don't snow globes get moldy inside? Why do grocery stores have olive bars? Should I ask why I wasn't invited to a wedding? John Green and Hank Green give advice! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive

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00:36:58

214: Crime Dentures

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/11/11

How do I make a film for dental school? What if my anglerfish doesn’t match my room decor? What should I do with a bag full of 1500 pictures of pregnant Harry Styles? Do I need to talk to my boss about the book they lent me? Can I zest a bit of lime at the store? Any podcast recommendations? What song should I blast through the church steeple? Hank Green and John Green give advice! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an

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00:36:47

213: Baddy One Shoe

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/11/04

Why don't we sink in sand? How do I not freak out about all the time I'm wasting? Do naughty people only wear one shoe? Why do microwaves rotate food? Am I up or down for whatever? My boyfriend doesn't know who Elon Musk is? What would happen if we immediately halted single-use plastics? John Green and Hank Green answer your questions! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast

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00:40:54

212: The Billionaire Cactus Ghost

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/10/28

What can I do with my cactus costume? What do you do when people you don't know recognize you? Why are all the ghosts so old? Where do grownups keep their potatoes? Are there ghosts on Mars? How do I make my career choice not sound boring? Is climate change for real? Hank Green and John Green answer your questions! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on

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00:38:57

211: You Can Tik Whatever You Can Tok, Baby (Live...

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/10/21

What is the least dumb way to ask someone out? What’s your strategy for winning Seven Wonders? How did you start from nothing? If you can portray any celebrity in a biopic who would it be? Would you consider becoming a TikTok star? Why do birds? Zach Kornfeld of The Try Guys joins Hank Green to answer your questions live from VidCon Australia! Find more of Zach at https://www.youtube.com/tryguys If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams

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