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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

22:02

Arctodus, the Short-Faced Bear

Paleo Bites ·

2021/11/23

(image source: https://paleo-media.fandom.com/wiki/Arctodus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Arctodus, a big, scary bear that would have wiped out humanity had it invented guns first, so thank God it didn’t. From the Late Pleistocene, this 12-foot bear was actually closely related to the modern spectacled bear, which is not the relative I would have expected. I would think it was more related to the one Joaquin Phoenix killed in that Disney cartoon no one remembers. I

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21:23

Guanlong, the Crowned Dragon

Paleo Bites ·

2021/11/16

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guanlong) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Guanlong, a feathered dinosaur with a nose crest and a distant relation to T. rex, like the cassowary but less scary. From the Late Jurassic, this 9-foot proceratosaurid stalked the Chinese jungles and might have been contemporaneous with my boy Sinraptor; not like that matters to literally anyone else. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus

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16:14

Ninjatitan, the Titanic Ninja

Paleo Bites ·

2021/11/09

(image source: https://bit.ly/3oKU54M) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host and Matt’s nephew Jacob Poloskey discuss Ninjatitan, a sauropod really inaccurately named, as I’m fairly certain there were no ninjas back then. From the Early Cretaceous, this 66-foot titanosaur was described just this year, proving definitively that dinosaur genus names are getting stupider. Can’t wait to hear about Piraterex buccaneerus in 2027. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive

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23:55

Gargoyleosaurus, the Gargoyle Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/11/02

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/gargoyleosaurus-daniel-eskridge.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Gargoyleosaurus, an early spiky armored boi that had a whole Disney cartoon back in the 90s. From the Late Jurassic, this 15-foot nodosaurid is only on display in the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, as opposed to the previously-covered Denversaurus, which is in Houston instead. Logic? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive

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22:22

Diictodon, the Two Weasel Tooth

Paleo Bites ·

2021/10/26

(image source: https://prehistoricreatures.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/diictodon/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Diictodon, a little gopher-like creature that, based on evidence, had burrows bigger than my current apartment. From the Late Permian, this 2-foot synapsid lived during the worst mass extinction in all of Earth’s history, proving those post-apocalyptic stories right that the best way to survive is to hide underground. Except it still went extinct then, so maybe

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29:57

Pterodaustro, the Southern Wing

Paleo Bites ·

2021/10/19

(image source: https://www.amnh.org/explore/news-blogs/on-exhibit-posts/pterosaur-of-the-day-pterodaustro) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Pterodaustro, a flamingo/pelican/stork thing with baleen like a whale, except it was a reptile. From the Early Cretaceous, this 8-foot-wingspan pterosaur might have even been pink like flamingos based on its diet, which is nice. Real men wear pink, and a pterosaur is nothing but a real man. Want to further support the show? Sign up to

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20:53

Nanuqsaurus, the Polar Bear Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/10/12

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Nanuqsaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Nanuqsaurus, a polar tyrannosaur, which sounds pretty cool to me. Hehe, "cool." From the Late Cretaceous, this 19-foot theropod lived among the snow and ice, which is totally unlike the typical image of dinosaurs in a tropical jungle or swamp. Who's this guy think he is, going against the grain! There's always one outlier, I suppose. Want to further support the show? Sign up to

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23:59

Daeodon, the Hostile Tooth

Paleo Bites ·

2021/10/05

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Daeodon) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Daeodon, a nasty pig relative that presumably had the worst breath, but then again, we can't exactly prove that, so maybe it smelled like lilacs. From the Late Oligocene, this 8-foot entelodont would hog all the attention on the plains with all the chaos it would sow. And they'd pork each other. Are my pig puns okay, or am I hamming it up too much? Want to further support the show

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30:42

Meganeura, the Large-Nerved One

Paleo Bites ·

2021/09/28

(image source: https://walkingwith.fandom.com/wiki/Meganeura) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Meganeura, a dragonfly the size of an eagle, because we entomophobes haven't suffered enough. From the Late Carboniferous, this 3-foot-wingspan insect ruled the skies of the coal swamps of old, taking pride in the fact that nothing bigger would evolve flight for at least seventy million years. Like, imagine knowing nothing will be bigger than humans until the 70 thousandth

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1:51:52

Tyrannosaurus rex, the Tyrant Lizard King

Paleo Bites ·

2021/09/21

(image source: https://bit.ly/2Za8EEl) Happy 100 episodes! Host Matthew Donald and nearly all of the previous guest co-hosts discuss Tyrannosaurus rex, a dinosaur that needs no introduction. From the Late Cretaceous, this 43-foot theropod is so big and iconic it requires a super-sized episode to fully do it justice, one nearly two hours long! Although granted, at least 80 minutes of it is just more of our usual dumb banter and tangents rather than any meaningful info. Want to further support the

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24:55

Longisquama, the One With Long Scales

Paleo Bites ·

2021/09/14

(image source: https://fossil.fandom.com/wiki/Longisquama) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Longisquama, a mysterious creature with tall feather-like scales it presumably used to get a good radio signal so it could catch the game every Sunday. From the Early to Mid Triassic, this 1.5-foot reptile might have been a primitive archosaur, a more basal relative of lizards, or even an extremely early dinosaur. C'mon paleontologists, figure it out already! How hard could it be,

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26:11

Repenomamus, the Reptilian Mammal

Paleo Bites ·

2021/09/07

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repenomamus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Repenomamus, the biggest mammal of dinosaur times that actively preyed on dino babies, which is a real switcheroo in the usual predatory roles. From the Early Cretaceous, this 3.5-foot gobiconodontid was the first sign that mammals would not cower in fear of dinosaurs forever! All it took was a giant space rock sixty million years later. They were the playing the long game, those

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25:38

Charnia, of the Charnwood Forest

Paleo Bites ·

2021/08/31

(image source: https://prehistoric-life.fandom.com/wiki/Charnia) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Charnia, a very early animal that, yes, was an animal. I mean, not like a party animal or anything, although we did think it lived in groups. From the Ediacaran period, this 1-inch to 6-foot tall creature lived so long ago that I actually first learned the term "Ediacaran period" when researching for this episode. I always assumed before the Cambrian it was just

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31:58

Darwinius, of Charles Darwin

Paleo Bites ·

2021/08/24

(image source: https://www.nationalgeographic.org/article/who-was-ida/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Darwinius, a tiny mammal distantly related to the evolutionary line that led to humans, which is cool, but then again, so was Dimetrodon, which is way cooler. From the Eocene epoch, this 2-foot primate was so named to commemorate the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin when it was described, or maybe to send young-earth creationists into a seething rage. A primate named

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27:17

Concavenator, the Humpbacked Hunter of Cuenca

Paleo Bites ·

2021/08/17

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/concavenatorRM_2211.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Concavenator, a dinosaur with a raging stiffy on the wrong end, or a less obvious joke. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20 foot carcharodontosaurid had one of the most truly preposterous features of any dinosaur. Seriously, why did that pointy thing exist? And why is it at that part of the back? Is science playing a joke? Well, it's not funny! Unless it's literally a

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24:05

Rapetosaurus, the Malagasy Giant Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/08/10

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/atrox1/art/Rapetosaurus-211286542) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Rapetosaurus, a longneck big enough to technically be impressive but not so large as to blow your mind into chunks or anything. From the Late Cretaceous, this 50-foot titanosaur was the largest dinosaur currently known from Madagascar, which is pretty neat I'd say. There should be bigger ones, though. I mean, I know it's a small island continent, but c'mon,

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19:29

Andrewsarchus, the Leader of Andrews

Paleo Bites ·

2021/08/03

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrewsarchus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Andrewsarchus, an enormous mammal that's gone through a lot of taxonomical shenanigans lately. From the Late Eocene, this 12-foot artiodactyl was once thought to be a giant dog-like predator with hooves, which is weird, but it turned out to be more a giant pig-like scavenger with hooves, which is less weird. Sometimes nature makes sense. Want to further support the show? Sign up

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21:29

Pyroraptor, the Fire Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2021/07/27

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/830280881294883148/ by Jonathan Kuo) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host (and Matthew's nephew!) Jacob Poloskey discuss Pyroraptor, one of the first raptors known from Europe who also aided the titan Prometheus if its name is any indication. From the Late Cretaceous, this 5-foot dromaeosaurid shares its etymology with pyromaniac, which is cool I guess. Where's the Nymphoraptor or Kleptoraptor then? Wait, kleptomaniacs steal stuff, and raptor means

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25:01

Colepiocephale, the Knuckle Head

Paleo Bites ·

2021/07/20

(image source: https://prehistopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Colepiocephale) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Colepiocephale, a dinosaur with an adorably G-rated insult in its genus because paleontologists are wholesome that way. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot pachycephalosaur is probably just a few years away from Jack Horner declaring it a baby Pachycephalosaurus, therefore invalidating the Knuckle Head, the Dragon King of Hogwarts, and the Demon of River Styx all in one

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24:54

Pliosaurus, Predator X

Paleo Bites ·

2021/07/13

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Pliosaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Pliosaurus, a creature that garnered the nickname "Predator X" at one point because "Megabadassaurus" wasn't tryhard enough. From the Late Jurassic, this 40-foot short-necked plesiosaur actually literally means "More Lizard," perhaps due to it looking more like a lizard than Plesiosaurus, but I'm titling this episode after its cooler nickname because it will attract more

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