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Portland Mercury

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Tired Old Men

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/11

by Anonymous The reason I hate a system where all of the highest offices in the land are held by old men is that these old men will not live to see the damage they will inflict on their country and its people. They will not pay the price for their misdeeds.

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Lemmings and Humans

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/10

by Anonymous Our world has gone berserk. Deranged people are engaged in mass shootings on an almost daily basis, slaughtering children in their schools, the faithful in their places of worship, shoppers in malls, and people simply walking down the street. Why do we witness this senseless carnage on such a regular basis? Here’s a simple answer: there are too many humans on this planet! Scientists know that when a species overpopulates its

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Don't Miss the Devilish Fun of "Two Evils with Arlo &...

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/10

It’s audience vs. a special guest contestant in a devilishly fun game of good vs. evil! by Mercury Promotions Who's ready for a little EEEEVIL? Well, you're in luck, because Mercury Geniuses of Comedy, Arlo Weierhauser and Kate Murphy, are your hosts for the most diabolical, hilarious, and EVIL live game show in town… TWO EVILS! Join Arlo and Kate (and Wm. Steven Humphrey from the Mercury as "the voice of

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Good Morning, News: More People Die From Extreme...

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/10

by Taylor Griggs The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support! GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Good news: After searing temps the last couple of days, we're cooling off today...if only a little bit. Temperatures are

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How a Super PAC Upended Portland’s 3rd Congressional...

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/10

Polling shows candidate Susheela Jayapal had an impressive lead in spring, before AIPAC spent big money to help Maxine Dexter defeat her. by Abe Asher On April 10, less than six weeks before the primary election that would decide who would replace retiring Rep. Earl Blumenauer in Congress, former Multnomah County Commissioner Susheela Jayapal’s campaign sent out a memo on the state of the race. In it, the campaign

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UPDATED: Cooling Centers Reopen Tuesday Amid Deadly...

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/09

Three sites will operate until 10 pm Tuesday, offering a place for people and pets to cool down. Water and snacks will be provided. by Mercury Staff Originally published: Friday, July 5 Update 1:25 pm Tuesday, July 9: Three cooling centers reopened today (Tuesday, July 9) at noon and will stay open until 10 pm, as temperatures could reach 103 degrees in the Portland area. See below for details. Update 1:10 pm,

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SAVAGE LOVE: The Outsiders

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/09

A married man in an open relationship needs advice about how to ask for what (and who) he wants on dating apps. by Dan Savage Question about genders and dating apps which I will try to keep brief. I am a 45-year-old married cis male. After more than a decade of dipping in and out of the swinging lifestyle, my wife and I have decided to open up to dating other people. I’m trying to catch up with the language of

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Good Morning, News: Portland's Delicious Nachos and...

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/09

by Courtney Vaughn The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support! Good morning, Portland! Today will likely be the hottest day so far this year, and the worst of the heat wave. With a high of 103 degrees, it’s

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The Top 45 Events in Portland This Week: July 8–14, 2024

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/08

Blink-182, Portland Nacho Week, and More by EverOut Staff How are we hangin' in there, Portland? The heat wave persists this week, but we're bringing you an equally hot slate of events, from blink-182 to the Mississippi Street Fair and from Portland Nacho Week to Portland Thai Festival. MONDAY FILM Pixels of EdenCentering homespun filmmaking from Portland and beyond, local artist Eva Knowles' Pixels of Eden will

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THE TRASH REPORT: Brawls, Body Parts, and...

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/08

The gossip is heating up... so it's time to take out the trash. by Elinor Jones Trash Pandas! My babies! How are you? Welcome back to The Trash Report. It's really fucking hot outside; I hope you've had access to air conditioned spaces and/or tons of frosty margaritas. We all know what heat can do to garbage, so let's get to the trash before it gets too smelly for even the likes of us! Senior Leadership President

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Good Morning, News: Temps to Hit Triple-Digits,...

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/08

by Wm. Steven Humphrey The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support! GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! I know it's still breakfast time, but if you're already dreaming of lunch and dinner, then may I guide your dreams to

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Hurry, Hurry... the Mercury's NACHO WEEK Ends Today! 😋

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/08

by Wm. Steven Humphrey QUERY: Do you like or LOVE nachos? ANSWER: You flippin' LOVE 'EM! So get ready to get very excited, because now through Sunday, July 14, the Portland Mercury (along with our booze buddies Hornitos Tequila) celebrates the return of NACHO WEEK! That's right! Portland's fave restaurants is currently serving up specially crafted, full-sized plates of inventive, delicious nachos! And while it's not a competition, you

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Politics American Style

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/07

by Anonymous Here are a few things I have learned about politics American style. 1. If you don’t have tons of money, no one cares what you want, need, or think. Both parties cater to the rich and powerful. 2. Almost all politicians are whores: staying in office is more important than doing the right thing, representing constituents, or obeying their consciences. Decent politicians are curtailed by their parties, the ignorance of voters,

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YOUR SUNDAY READING LIST: Another Cop Flub-Up, New...

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/07

by Wm. Steven Humphrey GOOD MORNING, SUNDAY! It's the perfect time to catch up on some of the great reporting and stories the Mercury churned out this week! (PRO TIP: If you despise being "the last to know," then be one of the first to know by signing up for Mercury newsletters! All the latest stories shipped directly to your email's in-box... and then... YOUR HEAD.) • Muslim Woman Forced to Remove Hijab in Multnomah County Jail A

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UPDATED: Cooling Centers Now Open around Multnomah...

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/06

Three sites are currently open in the Portland region, and will open again Sunday at noon. Centers allow pets and offer water and snacks.by Mercury Staff Update 11:30 am, July 6: In response to continuing dangerous heat levels, three cooling centers are open today, (Saturday, July 6) until 10 pm and will reopen at noon tomorrow (Sunday, July 7). Two Multnomah County libraries (listed below) will also be open

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Weasel Drivers

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/06

by Anonymous Hey fuckerfaces, That maneuver where you get in the turn lane (instead of the que)and then go straight when the turn light is on is risky af and really shitty. You're going to hurt somebody and all because you are a jack hole. Also, tailgaters on single lane roads where there is a succession of cars in front? What the fuck? You ain’t going anywhere faster by doing this and it is also dangerous. If you do these things then

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Newborn Yuppie in the Heat

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/06

by Anonymous My old coke-snorting, garage-show attending, freedom-espousing self who confidently told her mother that she would NEVER work a full-time job would be horrified to see me now. I sit at a desk 40 hours a week, write copy, attend zoom meetings and company parties, and get excited for “career development” Here’s the thing though. I’m sitting in my living room letting my AC wash over me, a comfortable 65 degrees in the midst of

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This Week In Portland Food News

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/05

Steak Frites, Coconut Sorbet, and Nachos by EverOut Staff Blast the AC and catch up on the latest Portland food happenings, from the new neighborhood bar Bruno's to upcoming events like Portland Nacho Week 2024. Plus, find ways to cool off this weekend, like pickle-flavored paletas, airy coconut sorbet, and boozy slushies. For more ideas, check out our food and drink guide. NEW OPENINGS Bruno'sThe team behind the

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This Monday! It's the Delicious Start of the...

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/05

by Wm. Steven Humphrey QUERY: Do you like or LOVE nachos? ANSWER: You flippin' LOVE 'EM! So get ready to get very excited, because from Monday, July 8 through Sunday, July 14, the Portland Mercury (along with our booze buddies Hornitos Tequila) celebrates the return of NACHO WEEK! That's right! For one week only, Portland's fave restaurants will be serving up specially crafted, full-sized plates of inventive, delicious nachos! And while

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Good Morning, News: UK Labour Crushes Conservatives,...

Portland Mercury ·

2024/07/05

by Suzette Smith The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support! Good Morning, Portland: I'm writing the news in a cafe where someone is ordering "something vegan" for a teenager, and they're getting one of

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