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PODCAST

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

I’m Anna Runkle, also known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy, and I teach people to recognize and heal the symptoms of Childhood PTSD. Welcome to my podcast!I’m not a doctor or therapist; I know about childhood trauma because I lived it, and I discovered a radical approach to healing that focuses first on calming neurological dysregulation, which is common in people who grew up with abuse and neglect. In my podcasts, I teach about dysregulation – how to know if you have it, what it can do to

education self-improvement

All Episodes

70:38

CPTSD & The Feeling You Can't Connect (4-video...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/09/15

People who were abused or neglected as children long to feel a sense of belonging. But it's an almost universal symptom of CPTSD to feel like you can't connect with others. You may feel like you don't belong in with groups, that people ignore you, or for reasons you can't explain, you struggle to form good friendships. Few understand the way CPTSD is an injury to the ability to connect to other people; in this 4-video compilation I talk about trauma-driven loneliness, and practical steps

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17:48

There's Something Appealing About Partners Who...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/09/13

Trauma in your childhood gives you a blind spot that makes it easy to become attached to people who are AVOIDANT – they pull away when you try to pull close, they don’t GET it about being present for someone, or honoring them on special occasions. Avoidant people can do some parts of relationships really well, but over time, they can leave you feeling neglected, disrespected and alone. But what is it about them that makes it FEEL, at first at least, that it works so well? Is there something

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26:26

How to End Limerence Before You Destroy Everything Good

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/09/11

Once in a while, I get a letter seeking my advice that’s so serious I’m not sure if I should read it on YouTube. Usually I decline, but in the case of a letter I received just a few days ago, I couldn’t stop thinking about the danger that everyone is in, and thought I’d better tell the letter writer – who asked me to be as harsh as I needed to be – the URGENT TRUTH. Hear my advice to a man about to destroy his family and his life over a fantasy he can "save" vulnerable women.Ten Signs Your

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14:23

What to Tell MDs Who Just Don’t Get It About CPTSD

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/09/09

For a lot of people who were abused or neglected in childhood, going to the doctor is a huge trigger. The questions they ask, the fact that they need to TOUCH you, and the control they have over whether or not you get to HAVE help at all – it can feel overwhelming, invasive, accusatory, demeaning, invalidating. Most doctors – even though they are trained – don’t yet have a meaningful, working knowledge of the ADULT effects of childhood trauma. In this video I talk about the gap in what is

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105:01

Childhood Trauma and Damaged Perception (4-Video...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/09/08

As a child you developed the ability to use "magical thinking" to cope with abuse and neglect, but NOW, as an adult, it just might be blocking you from ever escaping troubled relationships, finding inner strength, and living a full life. In this 4-video compilation I share four of my most popular videos about damaged perception and how it makes us vulnerable to believe lies. Hear my advice on how to restore clear thinking and develop intuition you can trust.10 Things Romantic Manipulators

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17:04

Here’s How You Know It’s Time to Tell Him You’re Into...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/09/06

You have a friend you’re secretly in love with. You thought you had to act like just a friend, to keep them as a friend, because you were sure they would never have feelings for you. That could be true, or could be your low self-esteem talking. What if all this time, they were pretending to be just a friend too? Should you risk telling them how you feel? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who has hidden her feelings for her male friend, and has begun to suspect he *might* be

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19:21

How Trauma Makes It Hard to Recognize What’s Really...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/09/04

When traumatized people date, it’s easy to detach from reality, and create elaborate constructs that explain why other people do what they do, and why we feel hurt by it – without having to actually admit what's really happening. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is feeling confused (a tell-tale sign you've been "soft-ghosted" when the person she's dating is treating her badly.How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj 🔴Take

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14:55

You May Be Signalling to Others That You Feel...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/09/02

Even if you're good at acting confident, you may be giving off signs that you feel "less than" other people. Low self-esteem can have the effect of pushing good people away from you, and this in turn makes it harder to grow in confidence. In this video from my archive, I teach about what I call "the underdog effect" -- the unspoken signals you may be giving off, that you don’t feel good about yourself, and what you can do to free yourself from trauma energy and relate to other people

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75:04

They're Not Into You, So You Love Them MORE (4-Video...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/09/01

People neglected as children sometimes spend their WHOLE life longing for love – chasing it, fighting for it, and never having it, all because of an attraction to unavailable people. This includes people who are married and can’t really be with you (but string you along), or people who flat out aren’t into you. Yet your wounds from childhood make you the perfect person to give all your energy, love and self-esteem to them -- basically for free. In this video I share four of my most popular

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14:09

Family Emotional Abuse and The Lifelong Sense of...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/08/30

It’s a terrible form of abuse when whole families gang up on one person. Sometimes it’s scapegoating, where they blame you for problems you never caused. Sometimes it’s just plain bullying and cruelty, and of course it leaves terrible wounds, even when you KNOW the abuse was about them, not you, and even when you’ve worked hard to create a good life for yourself – you can end up feeling disconnected from people. And if that’s you, I want you to let in that a) other people’s abuse doesn’t

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20:14

How to Keep Narcissistic Parents From Controlling...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/08/28

Some people get consumed by narcissistic loved ones they’re trying to stay connected with. Other people get off the treadmill by going no contact. But a lot of people are in the middle, with a mix of concern, and a desire to help – with total exasperation, feeling drained and fed up with the narcissist’s endless demands for attention and free labor. There IS a way to keep an eye on relatives who – left to their own devices – would consume ALL your time and energy. In this video, I respond

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19:55

This Mindset Strengthens You to Overcome Childhood...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/08/26

I have a secret portal that allows me to see and understand what childhood trauma does to people -- the different patterns it follows, and which kinds of people end up making rapid progress, and which ones stay stuck. I get this insight from letters and YouTube comments -- thousands of them. And there are basically two kinds of comments: One is the kind that comes from people who are very stuck in their early trauma. The second kind comes from people who are actively recovering; by studying

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86:00

Emotional Dysregulation Damages Relationships...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/08/25

If you grew up hurt by your parents -- neglected, not heard, not seen – chances are good that you get emotionally dysregulated. This means your nervous system reacts to stressors with EXTRA strong emotions. When most people would be hurt, you’re devastated. When you fall in love feels ENORMOUS. And getting angry (unfortunately for the people who love you) can turn into RAGE. In this 4-Video Compilation I share some of my most popular videos on emotional dysregulation -- what it does, how to

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13:57

Trauma Makes Us Feel "Different." But Is It True?

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/08/23

A lot of us who grew up with trauma have trouble shaking off the feeling that we’re somehow different than non-traumatized people. It seems sometimes like everyone else seems to know how to act, what to say, how to be connected -- but that we never got the memo. Do you ever feel like that? In this video I talk about the feeling among people who were abused and neglected as kids that we are "different" -- which part is imagined, and which part of it just might be real.Do You Struggle to

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22:38

Don’t Let Manipulative “Poly” Friends Push You to...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/08/22

Everyone MUST be free to pursue the relationships and the way of life that makes them happy. Provided what they are doing is legal, we can’t condemn them. But even though some behaviors are legal, it doesn’t mean they aren’t destructive to others -- I’m talking about bullsh**ing vulnerable people into having intimate relationships that are NOT in their best interest, and that they don’t really want. If you grew up abused or emotionally neglected, you may be easy to gaslight in this way,

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36:23

5 Ways a Lack of Attunement Keeps You From Connecting

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/08/19

So many people are feeling blocked from connecting with other people. If you find yourself trying and trying, but nothing seems to lead to friendship or people even seem to be pulling away from you, there might be a problem with your *attunement* – your ability to sense another person’s openness, or to “read the room". In this video I'll tell you signs that your attunement to others may be isolating you, and ways you can fine-tune your ability to be present with others and form better

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76:48

Avoid These Self-Centered Behaviors (3-Video...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/08/18

It's popular to call out relatives and ex-partners as narcissists, but what about the self-centered behaviors and thinking that are common in people traumatized as children? In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos about the way ordinary people may exhibit narcissistic behaviors. These traits can make life hard while they're untreated, but with healing, you can change!Ten Signs Your Trauma Is Healing: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3raZghI 🟢 Order My New

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17:45

Your Partner’s Behavior is Trauma-Related, But It’s...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/08/16

One very bad sign that someone is losing themself in an unhappy relationship, is that they write to me about their partner and how wonderful they are, then tell me all about their partner’s traumatic past -- and then list all the ways their partner is mistreating them. It's as if they don't want me to see the facts. Trauma might be an explanation for someone cheating and stonewalling, but it’s not an excuse and justifying it because the abuser was traumatized could be a way you gaslight

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19:32

S*x Work Thrives On Dissociation and Blocks Your Healing

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/08/14

Unpopular opinion, but so-called “adult entertainment” could not exist if there weren’t a steady supply of people who were abused as children, and skilled at shutting themselves down emotionally so that other people could use them for “pleasure.” It’s one of many ways that manipulative people – or those they have manipulated – like to normalize an obviously demoralizing and harmful way of treating people. This industry isn’t just driven by trauma, it’s a bonfire of new trauma, and it can do

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19:23

Isolating to Manage Stress is a Trauma Symptom

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/08/12

There’s an almost universal symptom that people who grew up with trauma will tend to exhibit - and it’s a sense of isolation. Either you feel isolated even with people, or you literally isolate. Shutting people out feels like it's the right, best, most self caring thing you can do sometimes when you're under stress. But if you think that's a good thing, it's probably your trauma talking. Learn why people with Childhood PTSD find socializing so disabling, an what you can do to feel more ease

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