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PODCAST

Paper Cuts

Have you SEEN the state of the papers today? PAPER CUTS has. In our thrice weekly podcast, some of Britain’s sharpest commentators and funniest comedians come together to look at the madness, the strangeness, the obsessions, and – occasionally – the brilliance of our national press. Host Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalists and comedians like Jonn Elledge, Grainne Maguire, Jacob Jarvis, Ava Santina, Jacob Hawley, Marcus Brigstocke, Coco Khan and many more. Illustrations by Modern Toss:

news news commentary

All Episodes

29:26

Harry and Meg’s ‘disgusting’ website – J.Lo’s absurd...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/02/14

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Meg-site drama. Harry and Meghan’s website rebrand causes another Royal rift and enrages the Daily Mail. When Jenny met Benny! Jennifer Lopez spilled the beans on her relationship with Ben Affleck to Vanity Fair. Plus – What’s love got to do with it? The Guardian celebrates Valentine's Day by ruining the concept of romance. Jacob Jarvis is joined by journalist Zing Tsjeng of Vice News and comedian Gráinne Maguire. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs,

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32:57

Labour chaos at cursed by-election – The weird world...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/02/13

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: If you’re in a poll, stop digging. The Rochdale by-election is thrown into chaos as Labour dumps its candidate. We listened to ‘erotic podcasts’ so you don’t have to. Guardian journalist gets something sexy in their ear. Plus – The case against Miss Piggy. The i Paper wants to kill The Muppets. How dare they? Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Ben Blissett of the TLDR News and comedian Daniel Foxx. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and

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33:10

Shock as Trump backs Russia to attack allies – Why is...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/02/12

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Trump threat. The former US president threatens to abandon NATO allies to Putin, as The FT leads with his 11 point lead on the economy. Gen Zzz… Young people aren’t leaving their houses and The Guardian thinks it knows why. Plus – Tea for two! Journalists from The Times share their worst dates and they’re all terribly posh. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Chris Lochery of PopBitch and comedian and actor Fergus Craig. Support Paper Cuts and

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35:28

Starmer climate U-turn unites the papers – Attack of...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/02/09

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Ain’t easy being green. The press react to Labour’s U-turn on green investment. Brush up on your cyber security. Boffins warn of cyber threat risked by… toothbrushes? The fashion crowd. Vogue crams forty celebrities onto its latest cover. Plus – King of the biscuits! The Telegraph’s biscuit poll closes and we have counted the votes. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Coco Khan of Pod Save The UK and comedy writer Jason Hazeley. Support Paper Cuts

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32:13

Sunak’s horrible trans “joke” backfires – No la la!...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/02/08

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Mind your PMQs. Rishi Sunak tries a trans joke in the Commons and everyone is horrified… except the usual papers. No l’amour? France is boules-deep in a sex recession. Plus – Spruce spring-team. The Guardian reveals bizarre rituals to welcome the change of seasons. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by The Bunker podcast host Andrew Harrison and comedy writer Fergus Craig. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions:

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34:16

Meet the PopCons: Liz Truss’s mad new gang – “Why...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/02/07

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: All con, no pop. The new Popular Conservatives or “Popcon” group launched and it went really well, honest. The Royal We. Day Umpteen of King Charles’s cancer scare and every columnist is making it about themselves. Plus – Slam Dunk. The Telegraph nails a column about biscuits and we’re over the moon. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge of The New Statesman and comedian Gráinne Maguire. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and

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31:57

King Charles cancer bombshell — Rishi’s crass Rwanda...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/02/06

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The King’s illness. The papers are dominated by King Charles’ cancer diagnosis. Wanna bet? Rishi Sunak sat down with Piers Morgan, before placing a tasteless bet with the TV host... Plus – Food for thought? Gregg Wallace has dropped his daily routine in The Telegraph. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by The Bunker Podcast host Jacob Jarvis and comedian Matt Green. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions:

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32:40

Papers horror at 'XL bully’ attack – Inside the robot...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/02/05

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Dangerous Dogs. A fatal dog attack by suspected XL Bullies dominates the front pages. Bad Manors. Billionaires want smart homes to do everything for them. Plus – Out of tunes. The Telegraph reckons 1974 was the worst year of pop music. The panel disagrees. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Chris Lochery of PopBitch and comedian Marcus Brigstocke. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions:

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36:12

TikTok vs. the music biz – The great reality show...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/02/02

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Off the beat. Universal Music Group is pulling its songs from TikTok and the papers are fascinated. Gone to pot. Reality show prizes are way down, winners aren’t splurging on huge holidays any more, and we’re upset. Plus – It’s a scrum old do. Rugby is the latest thing those boffins are ruining. Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedy writer Jason Hazeley and comedian and Self Help podcast host Scottee. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and

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32:29

“Take more sickies!” say boffins – Want to buy...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/02/01

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Sickies good for health! The Star reveals sick days actually benefit you and your boss. Mega-mansion for sale. Silvio Berlusconi’s infamous beachside estate is up for sale and the FT has the scoop. Plus – Fork off! The Guardian’s 16 new restaurant rules have us divided. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Holly Thomas and comedian Fin Taylor. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions:

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36:22

Would you let Elon Musk chip your brain? — Tabloid...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/01/31

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Coming up in a Rash. Footballer Marcus Rashford’s twelve-hour tequila bender has the press in a tizz. Mind blowing. Elon Musk puts a chip in a human brain and we don’t fancy it. Plus – Total swipe-out. One of our fave sex columnists is binning dating apps. Is she MAD? Miranda Sawyer is joined by The Bunker Podcast host Jacob Jarvis and comedian Kyrah Gray. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions:

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32:30

Will Taylor Swift spell doom for Trump? – Meet the...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/01/30

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Blank Space on the Ballot. Republican headbangers are convinced Taylor Swift is going to swing the presidential election. Tory-on-Tory attacks increase. The Guardian exposes Michael Gove and Kemi Badenoch’s ‘Evil Plotters’ WhatsApp group. Plus – Can’t bear it! US boffins are closer to the truth of Bigfoot than ever. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Rebecca Reid of the i and comedian Gráinne Maguire. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts

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34:49

Boris Johnson's nonsense army promise – The Sun's...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/01/29

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Dad’s Barmy. Boris Johnson says he’ll sign up to the army if conscription happens. Love rat latest. Man City star Kyle Walker apologises to wife after affair – via the front page of The Sun. Plus – Man up. The Telegraph tells women to act like men to relieve their stress. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Rob Hutton of The Critic and comedian Ian Smith. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions:

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33:08

The Traitors finale makes the papers go crazy – Bra...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/01/26

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: I swear to you, I’m faithful! It’s The Traitors final tonight and the press can hardly contain itself. Freezing that Mone. A court has frozen £75 million worth of Michelle Mone’s assets. Plus – What’ll the neighbours think? Oscar nominee Cillian Murphy’s family are the most Irish parents ever. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge of the New Statesman and comedian Gráinne Maguire. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and

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33:32

Not ANOTHER Post Office scandal? – Come again?...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/01/25

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Post traumatic. Turns out there’s another software scandal at the Post Office. What went wrong with ‘Capture’? La petite mort. Woman married for 35 years had five children but never had an orgasm. The Daily Mail has the scoop. Plus – Undelivered male! Paper Cuts hero Simon Mills of The Times on how men sneakily lean into their own uselessness. Miranda Sawyer is joined by The Bunker podcast host Jacob Jarvis and comedian and TikTok Star Daniel

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29:55

Get Sunak! The Tories are fighting again - Could...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/01/24

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Can we have a refund? The Tories might be about to change leader again and the press can hardly contain itself. Where did the generals keep his armies? British public to be called up in event of war with Russia, says army chief. Plus – Make it a long read! How to write a Guardian feature featuring a Guardian feature writer. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Rhik Samadder of The Guardian and comedy writer Fergus Craig. Support Paper Cuts and get

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29:13

The last chance to beat Trump? – Starmer says: 'Stop...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/01/23

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Trump Card. Republican candidate Nikki Haley has a big night ahead if she’s going to beat Donald Trump to the nomination. We don’t want your woke trees. The Daily Mail is angry at Keir Starmer for backing the National Trust. Plus – Don’t let the dogs out! Pandemic pooches really do behave worse. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Holly Thomas and comedian Matt Green. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended ad-free editions:

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30:54

Measles outbreak: Are the papers to blame? — The...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/01/22

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Why is measles back? Fewer kids are being vaccinated and the Mail has questions to answer. The new Evita! The papers are obsessed with the Argentinian President’s glam girlfriend. Plus – Women, get better at stuff! You’re doing it all wrong again, ladies, but don’t worry, the papers have lots of advice. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and host of Pod Save the UK Coco Khan and Dead Ringers impressionist Jan Ravens. Support Paper Cuts and get

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29:32

Hero Prince drives to see sick wife – Being kind...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/01/19

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Royally Driven. Amazing scenes as man drives car to see his wife in hospital. Reasons to be Cheerful. The Guardian asks if you can fill your life with joy in just 7 minutes a day. (Spoiler: no). Plus – Like A Virgin. His Horniness the Pope says sexual pleasure is a gift from God and the tabloids are shocked. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge of the New Statesman and comedian Fin Taylor. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts

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37:54

Why are Charles and Kate in hospital? – Gruesome...

Paper Cuts ·

2024/01/18

We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Royal health mysteries. Press panic as King Charles and Princess Kate in hospitals for separate operations. Baby cages and toddler straitjackets. The Guardian reveals the history of childcare and it’s grotty. Plus – Platty moobs! Male cleavage is the new men’s style trend, say Fashion Week watchers. Miranda Sawyer is joined by TLDR News lead writer Ben Blissett and comedy writer Jason Hazeley. Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts and extended

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