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PODCAST

The Beautiful Nightmare

Tamara Linke, Shanelle Franklin

Awarded the Best Comedy Podcast 2024, and 2023 nominee for the Australian Podcast Awards, Shanelle Franklin and Tamara Linke bring you The Beautiful Nightmare. You’re perfectly imperfect, overworked and seriously misunderstood. You’ve got the shits with your family, your boss is a ‘Grade A Dick’ and all you want is to sail away with Pink to a deserted island and eat sourdough. Bliss! Oh don’t forget self-care – add it to the bloody list. Shanelle and Tamara navigate the steep learning curve of

comedy comedy interviews

All Episodes

41:00

OK, THAT'S WEIRD

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/11/21

In parenthood there is certainly no ‘one size fits all’ however, some things are so left of centre that they cause an adverse reaction and our immediate response is - ‘There is no way I’d do that!!'. On the flip side, when we share some idiosyncrasies with others (like swaying an invisible baby in the supermarket line when you hear another child cry), it's funny to admit, we're all weirdos in our own unique and wonderful ways. Shan and Tam take a deep dive into some of the whacky things our mothers

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50:15

DON'T WET YOUR PANTS

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/11/14

These are just some of the ‘running’ jokes that women have heard in abundance over the years. We laugh together and then awkwardly smirk because it's something that can cause serious embarrassment. No wonder these areas need help getting back into shape because pregnancy and childbirth are no doubt the most strenuous task our bodies will ever go through.Shan and Tam chat to Women’s Health Physio and Pelvic Floor expert Kath Baquie from ‘Fitnest Mama’ in Melbourne about all things pelvic floor,

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58:03

HOLIDAYS WITH KIDS

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/11/07

'Are we there yet? Are we there yet?' said every kid 5 minutes into the holiday journey. From bad blow up mattresses, packing the car, travel snack tips, disciplining your kids in front of your friends, and weird time outs in weird corners, this episode covers it all. You'll hear why Tamara's hating on cheese platters, Ollie has a penchant for cat food, and how to get free stuff at a hotel. Keep an ear out for Shanelle's hot tip on how to look busy for the post holiday clean up without actually

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53:19

BEAUTY BY DESIGN

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/10/31

Nowadays, whether it's inflating your breasts, filling those stress lines or adding some puff to your smackeroos, cosmetic enhancement is as accessible as grabbing a burger at your local drive through. But if you haven't gone down that road yet, perhaps you've considered the options. Shanelle and Tamara discuss the 'do you or don't you' of tweaking yourself, from learning to love the bodies we have, to the social judgement's we face if we choose the path of self improvement. Hosted on Acast. See

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52:58

MUMNESIA

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/09/12

Have you ever have those moments where your brain fog is so bad? You were positive you didn't have those socks on before you got in the shower? Or perhaps you've driven 6 blocks only to realise your 5 year old is sitting next to you in the passenger seat. Eeep…Yep!!This episode we hear from you - our sublime MABN listeners who have shared their Mumnesia mis-haps with us. A hilarious montage of moments from mothers who've experienced/are still in the throws of, pregnancy or post-baby mum brain

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52:00

SO YOU'RE A SPORTS MUM

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/09/05

We solemnly swear we'll never be that parent, but if you aren't already, it's coming baby. Perhaps it's something in our DNA, a genetic throwback from our caveman ancestors that instills a scary kinda competitiveness that sees us hurling meat pies at the floor and obscenities at poor Timmy who didn't quite make that goal. Whether you're a passionate parent of a budding dancer or a future Olympic discus thrower, supporting our children to win win win is clearly in our blood. But should we

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38:56

HOME SCHOOLING

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/08/29

Lockdowns have given us a lot of things; a chance to be with the loved ones we previously never had time for, the beauty of reflection in a world ravaged by a seemingly never ending pandemic, and a chance to tackle those stubborn in-grown hairs we've been eyeing off for the last 6 months. But home schooling our kids is definitely one of those beasts we can add to the bad list along with masks, loss of individual liberties and Zoom meetings. This episode we celebrate all teachers far and wide for

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45:28

WHO'S YOUR DADDY

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/08/22

We know our partners, but do we really know what they are thinking?!!? This is a chance to jump inside their heads and get the low down on Dad guilt..is it a thing? What about self-care? How many times a week is a good amount of sex, and what do they imagine child birth is really like? Do they just have that caveman mentality with a side of Netflix and golf! It's time to open that dad book once and for all. All cards are on the table... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more

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37:46

DIRTY RHYMES

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/08/15

Just for fun this episode Shanelle and Tamara uncover the sometimes shocking, sometimes debauched history behind the rhymes you've grown up on and have now passed on to your children. Each has a lesson to be learned or a warning to be heeded; who really was Mother Hubbard? What's with Peter and his pumpkins? And why are silverbells and cockleshells something to be feared? Motherhood a Beautiful Nightmare shed light on them all. Watch out, it's a shocker! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for

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49:32

LET'S TALK SEX

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/08/08

In this episode we chat about the limits our bodies afford us after having kids and how this impacts sexy times for you and your partner. We're talking feeling sexy when you're breast feeding, applauding your wobbly bits, and how the hell you get your vagina back into gear when all it wants to do is shut up shop. Let's get freaky ladies! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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31:40

SH!T MUM

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/08/01

Shanelle and Tamara share their 'Sh!t Mum' moments in the hope that you can feel a little better about your own. Why do we love them soooo much yet want to return them from whence they came, all at the same time? Yes it's confusing, and no amount of 'child rearing' non-fiction will give you a definitive answer. It's survival of the fittest, and no one is winning. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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39:18

SCHOOL RUN

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/07/25

If you have this one under control you're onto something mum, but for most of us we're multi-tasking like an octopus whilst suppressing our anxiety for the most part. Cornflakes or toast? Make up your bloody mind! If packing a lunch, finding a missing left shoe or avoiding death-by-school crossing gets your knickers in a twist (or did you forget to put those on??), then we're hearing you loud and clear.Let's get this one off our chest. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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38:20

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/06/20

That emergency biscuit or lolly in your bag is your secret bribery weapon to ensure your kids are on their best behaviour. Where would we all be without the helpful tool that is ‘bribery’. We constantly battle with the fine line between supporting your child to excel and the continual push for extra curricular activities because they asked for it (let's face it, you paid for the term and now they hate ballet/tennis/karate/gymnastics...)Strap yourselves in, this episode covers all of the above and

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34:59

THE BIRTH

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/06/13

So you've given birth, but it's all good, you've just put Xena the Warrior Princess to shame with your heroic efforts. We chat everything from hot doctors, drugs and nose beads, to baby blues and post-baby bloating. A Queen is giving birth, so give her anything she wants! No one story is the same. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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41:26

YOUR JUDY'S

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/06/06

We all face low points throughout our life journey, and just like Dorothy in ‘The Wizard of Oz’ lying in poppy fields, it’s your Judy’s that help you up and remind you of who you are and what you’re capable of. We all need those people. The best Judy’s we collect in this lifetime are the key to us winning at the game that is motherhood. It's the roller coaster of emotions which are pure bliss and joy, teamed with loneliness and exhaustion. It’s all there, tied up in one bag for us and our Judy’s to

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52:33

WIFEY

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/05/30

Making time for our partners can quite often have the least reserves for. It's not deliberate, but far out, the proverbial plates are spinning above us at a million miles an hour! Whether it be feeling misunderstood by your partner now that you’re a mum (the stay-at-home mum VS the go- to- work- significant other) or justifying what you do all day. Shan and Tam discuss love languages and how they play a role in our ever evolving relationships. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more

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32:59

LETTING OFF STEAM

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/05/23

We throw everything we’ve got at the love job that is motherhood, but what we really need is a chance to let off some steam. The all important self-care gets put on the back burner whilst we power on through our ‘to do’ lists with one eye open in the hope of recharging from the sleep we lost the night before. Taking care of our mental health as mothers is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves AND our children. We know we need it. So, how do we do it? Hosted on Acast. See

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53:38

MUM GUILT

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/05/16

We feel guilty when we have a moment of self-preservation that allows us to fill our mum cups. Whether it’s having a night out with friends, going to the gym, screaming at your child because they're driving you up the wall, only to glance at their sweet face on your screen saver to feel that major overflow of guilt. Don’t even get us started when the childcare worker has to peel your child off of your leg in a flood of tears. We get it and we feel you…put your ear buds in and let’s talk it

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50:04

JUDGEMENT DAY

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/05/09

We judge ourselves, we judge others, and you’ve gotta love the older generation judging us ‘new age’ mums. Enough of the people pleasing right!! From telling your kids off in public, to boys playing with dolls prams and the unnecessary desire to have that unrealistic level of perfection. Who hasn’t handed their child a piece of technology to keep them occupied? Only to feel those judgy eyes upon you, asking if your kid has had too much screen time.Learn how to ‘unsubscribe’ to those unhelpful

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40:01

YOU'VE CHANGED

The Beautiful Nightmare ·

2021/05/01

The incidental things that we are genuinely thrilled about now, are far from what would have excited us before. The desperation for an uninterrupted hangover or your kids eating a healthy meal you prepared without a fuss. Did you nail your bucket list of things to do before kids came along? Staying up past midnight basically means you're a Rockstar and a solo car journey without Frozen, The Wiggles or a Disney soundtrack is a welcomed relief. Sound like you mama? Hosted on Acast. See

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