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PODCAST

Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction

Childhood best friends, PataFria: a professional Dominatrix, mommy/grandma and overall jack of all trades, and Crystal: a die hard animal lover, mommy/wife, peacemaker and caregiver of MANY share hilariously dysfunctional stories from their personal lives. Navigating mental illness, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, views on current events, a little gossip, the dumpster fire of politics and so much more. “Nothing is off limits and everything is funny”

comedy improv

All Episodes

98:29

89: Maybe Don’t Eat Canned Meat

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/07/30

Welcome back...some babies have arrived, court went well, cats cast spells, watch out for things sucking your feet! Check expiration dates everywhere, don’t joke about anyone’s trauma, utilize social media now more than ever and bring back products from the 80s! Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

en

112:03

88: Speaking Of Heavy Meats

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/07/23

We’re back with a bang and good news from our doctors! Crystal had a long visit inside a small chamber, spiders can’t be trusted, keep your kids close but give your doggies some space. Try new meats and always be aware of your surroundings. Some difficult news and code switching isn’t a good thing after all. Are re-born dolls doing more harm than good? Enjoy xo

en

97:37

87: Kevin Is Famous

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/07/16

California is shut back down, we might lose the Oakland zoo, Crystal and Kevin made the news! Stop following problematic artists, Oklahoma natives are owed some rent and some listener write-ins are discussed. Wear a mask, people. Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

en

141:49

86: You Go Fight At Cheese Park

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/07/09

Happy Birthday Frida Kahlo. Fires, no sleep, bubonic plague and firecrackers. Racists exposing themselves, a sad election and a couple fights. Always put your own well being first and get out of your comfort zone. Enjoy xo.

en

130:54

85: Just Leave Him

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/07/02

Busy busy week learning new technology. Crystal’s been diffusing family drama and Pata Fria is stressed from not working. Covid is alive and well and it looks like we’ll be charged for treatments after all. Headlines are usually lies and communication is always key. Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

en

113:30

84: Always Wipe The Pee Off

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/06/25

Happy Juneteenth/Father’s Day/Birthday! The ghost is picking on Dottie, Corona is alive and well, please rinse your damn dishes and everyone needs to wipe. Natalia is at it again, we have some really awesome listeners. No family towels and the ground is still lava. Enjoy xo

en

132:09

83: Crest With Sparkles

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/06/18

Family drama, celebrities in trouble, a heart attack scare. Police are being erased from tv, company branding is getting a much needed makeover and a few businesses that won’t survive the pandemic. Some day to day objects that can be surprisingly useful, don’t sell content that isn’t yours! And now’s a great time to explore some online dating. Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com

en

86:52

82: She Ate The Carpet

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/06/10

We’re back after a break, discussing some of what’s going on in the world. The importance of always speaking up, in the RIGHT way. Problematic family members don’t get a pass. Including Dottie. Crystal has once again expanded her squad. The Bay Area is slowly opening back up and never underestimate the value of good customer service. Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use

en

140:06

81: Bitch, She's On TikTok

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/05/28

It’s been a long hot week and we’re still under quarantine. Sometimes “friends” can be weird. Please practice some online etiquette, Crystal is now offering legal advice and lending out her purse. Pata Fria’s houseguest is showing off and Carolyn is acting out. Weird news, cool things to watch and stand up for our black brothers and sisters or be exiled, it’s not a choice. Enjoy xo. *If you or someone you know needs to be tested for Covid-19 please call 1-888-634-1123

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110:42

80: Is Lucy Missing Money?

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/05/20

Happy Birthday Malcolm X and Pata Fria. Dottie is on her way out, a new animal is on the scene and pelvic pain is the worst. Find out if Crystal is under investigation and don’t let missing fingers and toes be a deal breaker. Thank you to our sponsor! Better Help To receive 10% off of your first month head to BetterHelp.com/HELLO, again that’s BetterHelp.com/HELLO for 10% off your first month.

en

88:49

79: My Tits Were My Best Personality Trait

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/05/14

We're back again wishing Stevie Wonder and Dottie a happy birthday. Crystal's animal rescue foundation has re-homed all the kittens as she continues work as a full-time contractor. We share some tips on how not to train your dog, and get ready for bell bottoms because they're back. A little frustrating celebrity news and some tv recommendations. We hope you enjoy xo

en

112:46

78: Your Butthole Is Not For Vengeance

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/05/06

We're back from a break because let's face it, sometimes life takes over. Cinco de Mayo is for drinking, we visit lots of weird news, and why were all grandparents so beautiful? Some parenting talk, new film and book recommendations and keep Crisco out of your god damn cookies. Enjoy. Thanks to our sponsor for this episode: BetterHelp Right now, just for our listeners you can go to BetterHelp.com/HELLO and use promo code HELLO for 10% off your first month.

en

95:45

77: Hit It With Something Wet

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/04/22

Our brains are getting bored and we’re all dreamers. Home school is stressful. Health over capitalism. Must see show/film recommendations. Frankenstein is freezing and it’s a shitty time for a money scam. Crystal takes us down a dark path about cleanliness and if you don’t want to barter w your landlord don't ruin it for everyone else. Enjoy.

en

86:17

76: Mom’s New Sex Toy

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/04/16

Same old shit, different day. Crystal and Pata Fria handled a joint dog catching assignment. Happy Birthday to Crystal’s mom Charlene. Pata Fria is doing a new form of charity work. Don’t expect Crystal to change her cleaning routine. Be careful how you speak to/in front of your kids. No show can really top The Office and Trump is ready to colonize other planets. Check out our sponsor! BetterHelp To receive 10% off of your first month head to BetterHelp.com/hello, again that's

en

94:10

75: Sobriety Swim Test

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/04/09

Lonely days, disturbing dreams, some family dysfunction, sassy tones and lots of tv xo Betterhelp.com/Hello

en

97:54

74: I LOVE sex

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/04/03

Keeping in touch with you guys during the social distancing. This week we discuss lucid dreams, a new baby, ridiculous dads, investigating your partner, tiger king and the inability to get motivated lately may not be your fault...

en

73:50

73: Keep Cats Out Of Your Ludes

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/03/26

Week 2 of quarantine is upon us, some ideas for making use of your time at home, companies extending some free offers to the community, don’t let johns take advantage. Crystal is back to normal and discovered an interesting new way to show off your pets. Enjoy xo

en

91:20

72: Pistol Whipping

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/03/18

Corona Virus is bullying us all, book vs film. Don’t get scammed on the internet, penis injections are a thing and Pata Fria has added a new service to her menu. Stay calm and safe in the house... We’re all in this together. Betterhelp.com

en

116:33

71: That Time I Had Anal Warts

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/03/12

This week Crystal is starting a water challenge while growing closer to her adopted raccoon. Pata Fria revisits the importance of credit and making money on social media. Porn Hub is in hot water, celebrity sex offenders receive some justice and the corona virus might be scarier than we thought. Enjoy xo

en

93:00

70: Just remove the walnut from your butth*le

Hello Dysfunction ·

2020/03/04

Mercury is in retrograde and everyone is feeling it. Don’t worry about the Corona virus, strange news, ppl are cat fishing and women’s bodies really have it rough. Enjoy xo. Betterhelp.com

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330 results

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