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PODCAST

No Crying In Baseball

When Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you"ll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman"s best friend, and there"s no crying in baseball.

sports baseball

All Episodes

37:25

We Are Family

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/07/20

In this Davey Martinez appreciation episode, Patti and special guest co-host Junior Pottymouth catch you up on the aftermath of the shooting outside Nats Park. Manny Machado, Fernando Tatis, Jr., and other Padres were heroic in their assistance getting fans to safety, while in the home clubhouse Nats manager Martinez assured security guards that the fans taking shelter belonged there because “our fans are our family.” The incident highlighted the glaring gap in ballpark security -- there’s

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55:04

Pitching Problems? Get Naked.

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/07/13

NCIB officially endorses Sonny Gray’s solution to a rough pitching outing. Take a moment to get naked. If only that worked for all the pitchers from our Padres and Cleveland flocks currently on the IL and messing with our fantasy teams. Actually the solution to everything is ¡Más Kiké! Or vaccines. Getting vaxxed would have solved a lot of issues for the Phillies -- Patti is not happy with current Phils bf Alec Bohm. We make our Home Run Derby picks knowing full well all our listeners

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60:35

All-stars and A**holes with Plake and the Pottymouth

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/07/06

Patti is off on vacation, so guest host extraordinaire Blake Kraus fills in and takes on the role of the rant for the team. There’s plenty to rant about in the Police Blotter segment with (CW/TW) Trevor Bauer, plus an update on dick-pic sender Jared Porter. On a positive note, Blake gets to humble-brag for Patti as she rakes in the Baseball Boyfriend starting All-Star picks. More fun stuff includes the two Jewish hosts getting the chance to kvel about Jews in baseball with team Israel in

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39:15

In the Name of Civil Disobedience, Drop Your Pants

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/06/29

The first week of enforcement of the sticky stuff rule resulted in dropping of pants and threats to do so, the ejection of Joe Girardi for calling out Max Scherzer after demanding a substance check mid-inning, and Hector Santiago winning the dubious honor of first pitcher suspended under the new world order. Pottymouth is still grooving on her visit to Fenway. It’s a toss-up if the best part was the salute to Dustin Pedroia or the Red Sox sweeping the Yankees (again). Patti notes that qHAR

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37:53

Sticky Business

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/06/22

Patti and Pottymouth poke holes in the sticky substance mid-season zero tolerance enforcement plan, Seriously, we have a million better approaches to solving this problem. The Disney Prince is already hurt, umpires are in a stop and frisk situation, and the Astros have still never been punished for actual cheating. Joey Votto is Abigail’s hero, and ours too. The Os vs Blue Jays series gives us hot boyfriends hitting bombs and a bench-clearing brawl with exceedingly high qHAR (quality hair

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43:44

Pride Month: Because of Being Kissing

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/06/15

It’s Pride month so we give you the rundown on MLB events including a first on the field, swag (rainbow jerseys with your pick of pronouns), atonement, and atonement still due. Anyone know if the Padres “spinny thing” has a name? It stars in our fashion segment about team-specific MVP accessories, which could be improved by adding dancing. Our police blotter update on the dismissal of the demand to move the All Star Game back to Atlanta gives us our new favorite judge. Sorry, Aaron, but

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55:25

A House Divided

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/06/08

Pottymouth’s Red Sox household welcomes a Yankees fan interloper, and Patti faces the I’m from Cleveland but named the kid for Camden Yards dilemma for the weekend series. Classic boyfriends do us proud, with Kiké’s bat coming alive, Albert Pujols climbing up the all time lists, Christian Yelich proving blonde bats have more fun, and Cedric Mullins going 5-5. Patti’s current Os BF, Ryan Mountcastle, earns AL player of the week, and she serves as back-up mom at Bobby “The Assassin” Bradley’s

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43:34

Naked Guy Appreciation

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/06/01

The Nats Park streaker, bringing joy to millions, deserves a Skittles endorsement, but is banned from ballparks for life, while Mickey Calloway is out a year and a half for sexually harassing at least five women. Guess where we come down on this? Marcell Ozuna goes from former NCiB boyfriend to the “Never gonna be a boyfriend” list quickly and definitively. We’d like Loretta’s Lounge back, please (you can help!), but we’re happy to see the New Era local clip-art caps go. That’s not what

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46:07

We Want to Retire Like CC Sabathia

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/05/25

You know it’s serious when Tony La Russa and his unwritten rules aren’t the worst thing in our Police Blotter. Hello, Felipe Vazquez. The Willy Adames trade sends Pottymouth’s boyfriend roster into disarray. Jesse “Da Wink” Winker hears MVP chants. Chad Pinder and Ian Happ are new men after their IL stints. Jake Cronenworth hits an inside-the-park home run for Patti’s birthday, and Mountcastle slams from her bench. A go-ahead slam for Miggy gets him closer to the 500 mark, and Nando gets to

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53:00

"You meet a girl who plays baseball, and you're...

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/05/21

Ava Benach, through DC Girls Baseball, is building a community of leaders and teaching life skills while giving girls who want to play baseball every opportunity to do so. Through Ava, we meet four tenacious, focused, fearless young ballplayers who change the world every day by playing on their high school teams despite being told they should be playing softball instead, working twice as hard to play a game they love, and traveling hundreds of miles if that’s what it takes to find their

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44:14

Feudalism and Bad Faith

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/05/18

The Astros bring us “feudalism” as our vocabulary lesson, the LPBRC looks the other way with Roberto Alomar, and both the player’s union and officials from the City of Oakland call the commissioner’s office on operating in bad faith. And still our biggest rant involves cross-training with high school softball in North Carolina and, yes, questionable rules about hair. Albert Pujols finds a home with the Dodgers, Jarred Kelenic gets a curtain call, and Jose Abreu and Hunter Dozier

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54:51

Baseball Moms, Albert Pujols, and a Ratcoon

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/05/11

We moms who love baseball celebrate Mothers’ Day with actual Baseball Moms, Stephanie and Diana, of the Moms and Baseball podcast. We bond over words to live by, good snacks, the Akron Rubber Ducks, and Tim’s mom. Separately, we give the mom seal of approval to Erica Scherzer for remarkable planning, Dusty’s mom for Spanish language and cooking lessons, Beth Mowins’ mom for telling her of COURSE she can grow up to do play by play for the Cubs, and Josh Bell’s mom for instilling in him a

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59:28

It's Sports Bras or Nothing

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/05/04

The British Baseball Federation demonstrates exactly why women should be involved in every level of the development of a women’s baseball league. And causes us to state for the record that we will not work topless. We celebrate David Peralta, Eduardo Escobar, Anthony Rizzo and Freddie Freeman for bringing the fun. Joey Votto, Shane Bieber, and Vladdy (and his Daddy) reach some “Bench”marks. Roberto Alomar is banned from baseball and Patti’s heart just can’t take any more. Pottymouth wants

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38:53

Arugula, Coffee, and Righteous Indignation

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/04/27

Join us as we celebrate AS*HAT Day, discuss the food choices of ballplayers, and try to make “crepuscular” a baseball word. The Baltimore Orioles are an impressive public health model as they strive for 100% vaccination organization-wide, offer free COVID-19 testing at home games, and put their “take one for the team” vaccination PSA program into heavy rotation. Not to mention stopping the red-hot As winning streak at 13.Our boyfriend highlights are super-Padres heavy with Fernando Tatis

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64:19

Hair Above Replacement

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/04/20

Your vaccinated co-hosts record in the same room for the first time in over a year! Thank you, science. COVID outbreaks hit the Twins and maybe the Astros, and we can’t help but feel a little told-you-so about Andrelton Simmons. Jake Cronenworth, David Price, and Joe Musgrove are all in the same sentence but not how you’d expect. Joey Votto executes a triple play but we think he could have done better. Andrés Giménez scores 4 runs, 5 hits, and one fight with Adam Eaton who is no longer on

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51:53

Shake it, Kiké

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/04/13

Your over-stimmed hosts have been to a ballpark and you can hear it in our scratchy voices. Charlie Blackmon helps us explain why Coors Field is a pretty good choice for the All Star Game. Joe Musgrove finally earns the Padres their first no-hitter, and we learn he, like us, enjoys a nice IPA but also a disturbing amount of chewing gum. Victor Caratini gets some well-deserved love too. The Cleveland pitchers are hot right now too, and Patti gives little brother Logan Allen a promotion to

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61:50

That All Star Game Thing was Us, Right?

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/04/06

Opening weekend was full of heartbreak and highlights we didn’t see coming. Approving of a decision by Rob Manfred has us reeling, so we take you through the decision-making, and the aftermath, of yanking the All Star Game from Atlanta. Turns out it wasn’t just our rant, and there are also grammatical issues. Miggy’s homer in the snow, and outstanding pitching brought the fun, as did stellar boyfriend performances by Jose Abreu and Michael A. Taylor. BTW, Eloy Jimenez is NOT dead, please

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58:43

HOPEning Day!

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/03/30

We always look forward to Opening Day, but it just feels different this time. We are moving in the right direction -- it’s HOPEning Day. But don’t worry, we also have rants. And mezcal.Patti and the Pottymouth channel patron saint Sean Doolittle -- sports are the reward for a functioning society. If a couple of old white guys in Georgia can take voter suppression to new heights, MLB can damn well yank this July’s All Star Game out of Atlanta, FIFA can pull them from World Cup host

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45:21

Don’t Hit Your Brother: It’s Pitcher Day

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/03/23

We are those people that believe that Jesus Camargo-Corrales wouldn’t have more than 21 pounds methamphetamine and 1.2 pounds of oxycodone in his Cubs duffel bag if minor league players a living wage. Also helpful hints from Pottymouth about consent to search. An appellate court rules the MLB’s small print is way too small to matter.Patti clearly cannot pronounce Red Sox Cornah, but Pottymouth sure can so we have a Franchy Cordero boyfriend ruling from the Commish, root for opening day

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59:11

At Least There’s No Tailgating

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/03/16

The Rangers think a superspreader event is a great way to welcome Opening Day, while the rest of the ballparks plan to welcome a small number of fans back to the stands. The Commissioner uses the minors as his own private laboratory to try out a huge number of new rules in advance of CBA negotiations.Shortstop, conqueror of the Durham Bull, and Pookie’s pal Willy Adames is Pottymouth’s Rays boyfriend for this season. Gavin Lux, the Dodger’s 2B with the heart in the shape of a baseball

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444 results

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