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Three Initiates

The Festival Project, Inc.™ is a multidimensional multimedia platform which encompasses exploratory and artistic social personifications and expressions on cosmic theory, spirituality, growth, health & wellness, philosophy and theoretic dynamics in entertainment such as music, design, film, television, radio, dance and festival culture, art, fashion, literature, and science. The Festival Project™ and it"s subsidiary Non-Profit, The Collective Complex © aims to challenge

comedy

All Episodes

75:33

16. A Safe Conversation.

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2024/11/28

Lights on; Knock my lights out I'll be right back— But that was about a half-hour or so, ago and now I'm About to black out A night owl, Or white owl, Who cried out “No, this is my house!— Either sit down, or get out of it” And that was the— Fuck this bitch. Who hired her? You'll stay in this room with the subject for up to three months; —okay. Record everything. Isn't this illegal? Not for us. Okay. There's something you

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93:20

17. GET BUTTER. [I_NY.]

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2024/11/28

i found this bird with a broken wing about my doorstep— I see. Would you happen to know anything about that? Your—doorstep? Your bird. Who said it was my bird? Ours then, shall we? Anandar taught me explicitly how to go about being many places at once; I can be both. You're a puppy! If I was, I'd be a pit bull! Cute dog. [malicious] Oh! He bites. Where are you taking me? To your mother. I haven't seen you in 40 years. Has it been 40 years

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78:42

18. JUPITER.

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2024/11/28

I can't save you; Thinking of this over midnight coffee and faded rain– Now jaded makes sense, Along with the color scheme Friday came and went (I keep you hidden and off to the side, And away from the monsters, the scars of a fairytale long and forgotten More robberies and a heartbreak, sactity hours away On a plane destined for engine failure falling from such high altitudes The last and the first sound Unsure of survival and rebirth To a new age Is the same sound, The

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39:40

{Fuck Around and Find Out}

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2024/11/28

Let me guess; you thought I would look like Paula Patton? I was hoping. Well, that's too bad. I told you I was ugly; I look like this. I gathered. This–couldn't possibly be what you thought i was thinking. I don't have to think what you're thinking; I know what you're thinking without thinking it. This telepathy thing just keeps sinking in deeper. You can be relevant–or irrelevant; which is it? Goddamit. Where am I…what am I? What is this? Shh, don't even

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66:03

19. better alone.

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2024/11/28

Who called Kimmel? I didn't call Kimmel. You call Kimmel? I didn't call Kimmel! Let's just say, Jimmy Kimmel is the kind of person that calls himself to these sort of things. Thanks for calling me! Nobody called you. Nobody called you. Who called him. I'm even harder to get rid of than Jimmy Fallon. That could not possibly be the case. Use lemon zest. What? For the— let me see. Look, just

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63:40

20. The Crossfires.

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2024/11/28

HEY. …hello. [breaks shit] Oh. [he grabs the man by the collar] You— —aren't you the kid from that one movie— —I'm the kid from your mom's house! —that's major disrespectful— —I'll tell you what; Okay?! —you—are going to grow a mustache. What! Why! Because you are! That's not going to look good at all! Exactly my point “The Worst Mustache Ever” [the super buff dude forces the man to

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71:03

21. DEFENSE.

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2024/11/28

Last night I slept totally in the nide; Of course, leave it to good old fashioned good timing-/— The return of the hellicoopyer, and whatever's at stake with it No time to breathe, I'm having a spiritual experience on the cycle bike No time to lose— That's right. About face Walk away It's central intelligence Too much sweat in my palms To use my palm pillow? Hi god I love you God knows my timing, Lord know me well Don't tell me it's a writing assignment Really, yo

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60:40

22. Dedication.

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2024/11/28

VO My favorite person was Mia Farrow. MIA FARROW I'm not burning that. {Enter The Multiverse} At an infamous “Moon Party”, a group of celebrities unwittingly practices an ancient magical ritual which opens the doorway to another realm. Lol what is your life. I don't know yet! Well, you'd better hurry at it. I'll kill you, I promise I will. He seems dangerous. Oh, yeah; he'll definitely kill you. Can yo seriously look me in the eye and tell me, that– I

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69:00

23. Get Some Pants (Actually Summons Devil)

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2024/11/28

“Seth Meyers And the Cauldron of Doom” OMG— YOU have a cauldron of doom?! I have a cauldron of doom!!! DO NOT SHAKE THIS SNOWGLOBE. I had been avoiding Rockefeller plaza for months as it was, without the sometimes accidental ending up there anyway, and I thought not once but twice or three times about changing into my regular pants so that the deep pockets could hold my keys and passports sans wallet— or a purse and considered taking a notebook as well; on the list

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79:38

25. Generation X.

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2024/11/28

I got detail. What are we lookin at? White, either BMW or Mercedes— carbon top. Well, which is it, a beamer Or a Benz? If I knew, I would just tell you. What, you don't know the difference between a Beamer and a Mercedes? Newer models, you know. All look the same. Well it's not the same. Look, would you just find out who the fuck is running detail on me? A lot of help you are, for the one that's being followed. Look, just find out who it is— and what they want.

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61:53

26. Familiarity Breeds Contempt.

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2024/11/28

I used to be almost 400 pounds (Obviously the audience is going to do/say somethin big—hopefully they're drunk and react atrociously so that it makes sense for me to go—) I know. Anyway, it's a long story. It took a long time but obviously, I'm no longer anywhere near 400 pounds. Sometimes . I still like to eat. A lot. I eat a lot. I love to cook, I love trying new recipes. Sometimes I eat a bit more than I work out so you know, I get a little chubby— Then

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65:31

27. You Get What You Pay For.

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2024/11/28

JIMMY FALLON begins twisting his fingers subtly as he points with his right hand towards the door, hardly moving at all besides his hand; the other JIMMY FALLONs stand quietly in slight confusion, until suddenly, as he turns his hand into a twisting motion, the doorknob begins to slowly open; they look on in awe and bewilderment as an office clerk slowly enters the room as the door springs open, she walks slowly to the center of the room; startled, some of them begin to frantically stir as if

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63:10

28. The Breadbox.

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2024/11/28

Lifetime lifetime, We finna make a movie These motorcycles mad, But they probably wanna do me X ray vision can't shit see through me Rubber to the glue stick to you, I'm the blū c Lifetime lifetime, Talking bout fitness Run over your head, Like I know you won't get this Blū bleed red, hope the white get the message Haunted by the past, Like a Christmas present Lifetime, lifetime Finna make a movie If currency the truth, The. You probably owe me to be Shakespeare write here I

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62:32

29. “If It Was A Snake, It Would Have Bit Ya!”

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2024/11/28

Pull the chord; For a slice of the vein is all I ask, Release of the tide with each stroke to be free Lil biscuits I don't watch justin timberlake videos– But this one time in Las Vegas I was getting my nails done, And became entranced by this video where Justin Timberlake is just being mad weird, In a room full of mirrors. And i was like “damn.” So, I go to look up this video— You know, years later, just cause– Or whatever, And so I type into Google,

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68:22

30. One Man’s Trash (Is Another Man’s Treasure)

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2024/11/28

[As his girlfriend begins giving him a sensual and passionate fellacio, the man senses something isn't right.] …baby. Mm-hmm? Um… —whafths wrng? Uh—nothing it's just— —wht— —that—just— Uh huh? What did you do earlier? Before this? Yeah. I hada massage— —before that— —before that? Yeah. Hot ones. WHAT? Yeah—what?! I had a hot ones interview! THATS WHY MY DICK

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3:22

‘The Sad Truth’

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2024/11/28

GODDAMMIT RYAN REYNOLDS. WHAT DO YOU WANT? CUT TO: [Cofee is being made.] Oops, I Did It Again - Britney Spears [There are no pants involved.] …this is it, isn't it? What. Season 10 This is the movie before season 10 [Cofee is being enjoyed.] I want to go on high concept adventures through space and time. [There are still no pants involved.] What are you, Ryan Reynolds? A TV host? (sipping coffee) Let's just say I put in my time. —and until the

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9:09

[My First Stand-Up]

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2024/11/28

What is your preshow ritual, anyway? I stand on one of the high floors, up here– Yeah– And I shoot snot at the tourists. What? Gross. Fascinating. Straight out of my nose. Ah, God, man. You need help. And into the plaza. Sick. Gross. Before every show. [beat] You know, some of those tourists are in your audience. Exactly. Agh. You need help, guy. You're a sick man. What goes around…comes around. Agh. I JUST GOT MY NBC MERCH.

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2:32

‘In The Dark’

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2024/11/28

Now, for a moment— Do me a favor and imagine for a second— Just for a second, That someone, Anyone— Who? Haha Shut up. Had read your writing What writing. Any of it. Ok… —before you arrived at Rockerfeller Plaza. …which time. Any time. Oh. That's right…I had been writing for years before I ever even stepped foot inside The Rock, even one time. THE ROCK Let's just say “30 Rock” But is it technically

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5:17

boxed.

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2024/10/11

AMYYOURE NOT THE ONLY TELEPATH HERE, YOU SONOFABITCH. —watch it. AMY (CON'D) “TELE”—MOTHERFUCKER. WE'VE ALLL BEEN ON TV. The ongoing and atrociously heavy beef between screen icons Amy Peoehler and Jimmy Fallon has raged on for years and reached its peak at an all time high; this war has waged on spanning nearly two decades and though ounlically masquerading as close friends are actually sworn enemies. Dang. This dude has a lot of enemies. Also this dude is

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3:17

posh.

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2024/10/11

posh. —tried to record the vocals with it but apparently either my interface or my computer— Whatever —Money. -U. ft, Happy Accidents Dunno when I'm going to be able to do vocals next so here's the instrumental, the lyrics. And whatever else was in my notes when I was in producer mode with my documents open. Amen posh. (Instrumental) Happy Accidents ft. -Ū. Actually I was thinking about using my Srs Blk Alias. [serious black] // srs blk. Whatever

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