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PODCAST

Dear Hank & John

Hosts John and Hank Green (authors and YouTubers) offer both humorous and heartfelt advice about life’s big and small questions. They bring their personal passions to each episode by sharing the week’s news from Mars (the planet) and AFC Wimbledon (the fourth-tier English football club).

society & culture philosophy

All Episodes

00:34:01

210: Chest Moose Tattoo (w/ SciShow Tangents!)

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/10/14

What's going on with microbes? What happens when an astronaut sneezes in space? Why do we have toes? Should I dress fancier? Why aren’t there drones on Mars? Do you get lighter every time you fart? What do I do about the poster I don’t understand? Why do animals live for different amounts of time? Hank Green, Ceri Riley, Stefan Chin, and Sam Schultz of SciShow Tangents join the pod to answer your Qs! Listen to SciShow Tangents! https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/scishow-tangents If you're in need

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00:33:45

209: Sword Dabbing (Live from Minneapolis, MN!)

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/10/07

How should I invest to survive a financial downturn? How often do I really need to change my underwear? Am I a bag? How do help seventh graders? Should we think about the 2D world? What are wedding planning tips? How do I stop imitating accents? How do I deal with the ghosts? How do I innovate in a sword company? John Green and Hank green give advice! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast

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00:37:35

208: Speedo Minotaur Guy (Live from Madison, WI!)

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/09/23

Why is my instinct to hug my dogs too hard? If you had to move to Sesame Street, who would you want to be your neighbor? How do you know when the story you've written is done? Why was Halley's Comet selected for The Anthropocene Reviewed? How does one properly celebrate the removal of orthodontia? Am I causing defective elevators? What do I do if my boyfriend is the speedo guy? Is it okay if I wear my wedding band before I get married? John Green and Hank Green give advice! If you're in need of

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00:36:59

207: The Still Escalators of Doom

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/09/16

Why are unmoving escalators so disconcerting? What do I do about the plant that died while I was house sitting? What should I tell people who think I'm moving to the worst place in the world? Should I tell my mom you're still alive? What condiment would your body dispense? How does iambic pentameter work? How do we know when we're deriving too much from art? How do I make friends in junior high? How do I talk my brother out of aspiring to be a YouTube star? John Green and Hank Green give advice! If

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00:37:10

206: If You Can't Put Your Mouth There... (with...

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/09/09

How should I act around my professor who is also my peer? Do the knobs on toasters control heat or time? How do I not get matching tattoos with my mom? Do you ever think about where all your hair is in the world? How can I be less judgmental? How should you display a sugar packet collection? How do I tell people who think I'm dead that I'm not dead? What should I do when I ring the doorbell and I'm not sure if I rang the doorbell? How should you respond to neck skin compliments? Are my new friends

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00:37:03

205: Piggy Bank Toughness

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/09/02

Should I call this strange number back? What have I missed on the pod? Why are your faves your faves? Don't you need more than lemons for lemonade? How do I get the money out of this coin bank? Should I get bangs? Should I change my email address? Why do I get the urge to get my life together in the middle of the night? How do I make time pass in my stories? What is with that baseball song? John Green and Hank Green yell at clouds and give advice! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at

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00:35:49

204: Quiet, Subdued, and Possibly Illicit

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/08/26

How do I make this flesh-eating bacteria sound safe? How do I tell my housemate not to get a crockpot? Am I as unlikeable as the character I wrote? Does my friend live with a ghost? How did conspiracy theories spread before the internet? Why are the most-viewed vlogbrothers videos about giraffe sex? How do I stop my favorite movie from being my whole personality? How would fandoms respond to the apocalypse? John Green and Hank Green answer your questions from the Madison Museum of Contemporary Art,

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00:47:12

203: Joy, Attention, Justice, Hips Don't Lie

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/08/19

What do I do with 15 pounds of cornbread? Where do song lyrics live in our brains? Why are we here? How did people get answers before Google? How often should I vacuum? Do wedding pianists get anxious? When are my vegetable plants ready? Can I skip the parts about farming in Anna Karenina? John Green and Hank Green answer your questions! Invest in AFC Wimbledon: https://www.seedrs.com/ If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an

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00:46:51

202: Pants Clone

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/08/12

Where are the natural wheels? How do I make a conspiracy theorist understand that space exists? What are SEO tools? Should we market climate change better? Why are car horns so primitive? How do I confront my mortality compared to red curry paste? What do I do about the frog in the car? Are Tic Tacs food? John and Hank have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast

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00:44:04

201: Giant Stone Abraham Lincoln 2020

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/08/05

Can a sentient statue run for president? How do I attend a show solo? How can I be bougie enough for art frames? Could Elsa solve climate change? How can I not be a sobbing mess on my wedding day? Should I make a new ring for my dad? What should I do when I'm not sure if I know someone? Hank and John have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on

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00:45:23

200: Only If You Got Enough Life Jackets

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/07/29

What is the setup for this joke? What's with people waving from boats? Why don't cartoons change their outfits? How do I tell someone I’ll be back but not RIGHT back? What is your self-care routine? How do I follow soccer? Where are all the Bob Ross paintings? Why are flies?? John and Hank have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on

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00:40:39

199: The Best of Dear Hank & John #2!

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/07/22

Over the last couple years, John and Hank have bestowed upon the world some true gems of advice and anecdotes. We compiled some favorites in one episode for you to enjoy! We'll be back with a regular episode next week, so if you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at

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00:43:56

198: No Ticket Out

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/07/15

What's with birthday cake flavor? How do we know where we are in space? Are we the last generation of humans? Is it safe to shower when the power is out? Can I be a dyslexic nerdfighter? What do I wear to a pirate-themed wedding? What is the physics of window air conditioners? How do I stop talking about things my friends don’t care about? John and Hank have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly

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00:41:20

197: It's All About Empowerment! (w/ Jenny Owen Youngs!)

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/07/08

How do I promote myself? Are museums better explored individually or as a group? What should I do with memorabilia I don't intend to display? What do I do when someone's in my seat? How should Sincere sign off emails? Why do bugs die on their backs? How do we put less value in personality tests? Do mascots smile inside the suit when posing for pictures? Hank and Jenny from Buffering the Vampire Slayer answer your questions and remind you that you rock! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us

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00:40:53

196: There Is Nothing You Are Not

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/07/01

How did they decide doorbells should go ding dong? How do I get my coworkers out of my personal life? Why does Hank have button-up jeans? How do you not worry that everything you write has been written before? What are the odds that I'm part pigeon? Why don't you see tons of stars when you're in space? Hank and John have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast

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00:46:22

195: Fun with Bob and John!

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/06/24

What should I do with all these keys? How do I unrecommend a raunchy novel to my grandma? What's a good psychology team name? What is the most effective way to pull an all-nighter? What should I call my girlfriend's parents? Why are middle schoolers so terrifying? What do I do with all these tomatoes? Hank and John have advice! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. The

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00:43:33

194: Fortunately, They Are Not Carnivores

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/06/17

How do I advance past the waving stage of acquaintanceship? What does one do at conferences? My friend based a character off of me but the character sucks? How do I get in my house if I'm locked out? From where does a giant African land snail poop? Can I have only one jacked arm? John and Hank have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com. Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn. Follow us on

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00:45:23

193: It's Like a Pool of Liver!

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/06/10

Why do I cry more easily as I get older? What is SPF? What are healthy methods to combat loneliness? What should I do if I busted a hole in the wall while bonding with my sibling? How do I be less curt in texts and emails? Where does John consume his hot takes? How do I stop being bad at cooking? How would John and Hank have met if they weren’t brothers? How do I make this locker room my new home? John and Hank have answers! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at

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00:46:52

192: Raised on a Yacht (w/ Vanessa Hill of BrainCraft!)

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/06/03

Vanessa Hill of BrainCraft joins Hank to answer your questions! Has it ever not been raining? Can I change my major if I have a scholarship? Should there be compulsory voting? How do I learn to ride a bike? What is tipping etiquette in the US? When is it my turn to watch TV? Can I take a blanket covered with pictures of me to college? Will the US claim Mars as a state? How does boxed mac and cheese work? For more Vanessa, check out youtube.com/braincraft! If you're in need of dubious advice, email

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00:43:16

191: The Engagement Duck

Dear Hank & John ·

2019/05/27

What is the dress code if there is no dress code? Where can I be anxious at work? What should I do with 72 tall vases? How can I avoid having to do dishes? How can I grow my own vegetables if the Sun is in the wrong place? How do I sort out my priorities? How do I tell my girlfriend's mother we aren't ready for a duck? Is there a polite way to ask someone to eat quietly? How and where should I conceal the dream rock? John and Hank have dubious advice! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at

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451 results

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