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PODCAST

The Overwhelmed Brain

Paul Colaianni: Relationship and Emotional Abuse Expert

Get to the root of emotional issues and learn the best way to relate to yourself and others by honoring your personal boundaries and making decisions that are in alignment with what"s most important to you. This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won"t be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

01:01:35

Sometimes the best healing and growth takes place...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/06/20

We can create our own dysfunction but be so jaded by those around us that we can't think clearly enough to stop toxic or hurtful behavior. There's a time when you have to get away from other people so that the fog can lift and you can think clearly. It is during those times when a lot of healing can take place.

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51:33

The inside the box thinking that keeps your emotional...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/06/13

Many unresolved emotions sit outside the box of current thinking. Albert Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” When you aren't getting the results you want today, or you find yourself easily triggered by certain events or people, you may be carrying around old baggage that perhaps requires a level of thinking just outside the box. If you don't want to go outside that box, it could be why you're stuck.

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01:00:05

What fills the holes left behind when people leave...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/06/06

When someone you care about leaves or dies, there is a space inside you where they used to be. Your identity was wrapped up with them. They were a part of you. And because of that, when they're gone, you can feel lost. You can feel lonely within even when you're around others. It's important to start filling that space with something that gives you meaning and purpose.

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01:18:19

Is it always necessary to dive into the past to heal...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/05/30

Where should you start when it comes to healing old stuff from the past? Should you do a deep dive into your childhood, bringing up all kinds of memories and traumas that you may or may not have repeated to therapists over and over again? Or should you talk about how it bothers you today and see if someone can help you gain a new perspective? What about skipping over the trauma and just looking at what behavior came out of it? There's a path you can take to reverse old emotional triggers just by

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01:04:49

The part you play when you get terrible results

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/05/23

There's a cause and effect to patterns of behavior that, if you don't recognize the relationship of those behaviors to the results you're getting, you may be creating results that you don't want. However, when you find out just what you're doing that might be causing you to sabotage your own happiness, you might be able to turn things around.

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01:11:12

When feelings of inadequacy prevent you from enjoying...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/05/16

When the feelings of inadequacy overcome you, do you let them linger in the background? Do you repress them so that they come out in emotionally destructive ways later? Inadequacy usually has a source. We'll talk about that and a lot more in this packed episode.

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01:16:16

Self-reliance, self-respect, and a mindset to go...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/05/09

A single thought can change everything. Your perception relies on your mindset which relies on your thoughts. This is a multi-faceted episode covering three different topics but reminding you of the importance of self-respect, creating access to inner resources, and how being around the wrong people can take away both.

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01:07:49

The hidden emotions that may be inside you and you...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/05/02

Most people aren't taught emotional intelligence in their upbringing. And because of that, there are often lingering negative emotions hanging around inside us that might need to be addressed if we're going to experience a life without the burden of anxiety, depression, and emotional triggers. Getting out of anxiety and depression are often not easy tasks, but there is an angle I take today that might give you a good start.

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51:44

Closing the door so that you can stop overthinking...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/04/25

Sometimes you have no idea why someone did something that hurt or affected you somehow, and you just have to know the reason. You may never find out because they won't share that reason. I call this an open loop. It's how we become obsessed with certain thoughts that we can't get closure for. When this happens, life can seem to stop, and anxiety and depression have a higher chance of starting. It's time to close the door on old thought patterns that only do us harm.

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01:04:46

The Ten Commandments of Personal Power - Part 2

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/04/18

Part 2 of a two-part episode. Personal power, or empowerment, has a formula. That formula can lead to a much more enjoyable and fulfilling life. Knowing the formula is the first step but following it is an entirely different animal. In part two, I add more principles, or "commandments", to help you improve your life.

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01:20:39

The Ten Commandments of Personal Power - Part 1

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/04/11

Personal power, or empowerment, has a formula. That formula can lead to a much more enjoyable and fulfilling life. Knowing the formula is the first step but following it is an entirely different animal. Let's talk about applying these principles, or "commandments", to your life.

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01:14:49

Random romantic relationship questions answered

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/04/04

About 90% of the people that reach out to me have a question about their romantic relationship. That makes sense because relationships can be complex and tricky to navigate. In this episode, I tackle four relationship questions and share some of the lessons I've learned over the years in my own life. For more guidance on difficult relationships, head over to

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01:01:55

Learning to counter rude and intimidating behavior...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/03/28

Whether it's the jerk at work or that one person in your family that just doesn't like you, rude and intimidating people can be found in any corner of the world (and under many rocks). In this episode, I share seven suggestions that will help you counter those behaviors and perhaps even make some of these people start respecting you again.

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01:06:50

Getting comfortable in your own skin

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/03/21

Getting comfortable in your own skin is more than developing confidence and facing the fear and doing it anyway. Confidence is one component. There is also self-worth, self-esteem, self-compassion, and self-love that needs to occur so that even if the most hurtful person tries to criticize you or put you down, you will know yourself so well that it will be impossible to believe what they are saying about you. To stop self-sabotage, check out the workbook here:

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01:07:20

The secret to making passive-aggressive people less...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/03/14

Passive-aggressive people have a knack for making you feel bad without you even realizing they're making you feel bad. Their covert methods are designed to poke at your emotions like tiny emotional daggers. If you want to thwart their often hurtful behavior, it's vital to take them out of ambiguity and into the details. This might be the scariest episode ever for the passive-aggressive person in your life.

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01:07:13

When their sexual history bothers you

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/03/07

Your sexual history is yours, but some people like to make it a big deal and cause you to feel guilt or shame for things you did long ago. Whether you regret what you did in the past shouldn't make a difference because it's your past and no one else's. Other people need to keep their eyes off of your rearview mirror and put their focus on the road right in front of them.

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58:39

Every action you take in your life either increases...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/02/28

If you gave yourself a +1 for every empowered decision you made and a -1 for decisions made that avoided consequences, would you be abundant in personal power or in deficit? Every decision you make and every action you take every day either adds to your power or depletes it. It's important to be conscious of this as those 1's can add up quickly! You just want to make sure you're going in the right direction more often than not.

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53:16

When the fear of failure stops you from doing...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/02/21

It's one thing to be afraid to fall off your bike. It's another to never consider riding one just in case you fall. The fear of failing can be imagined as so traumatic and painful to some that they literally do nothing instead. As you know, doing nothing leaves you in a rut. It is the fastest way to go nowhere. Maybe it's time to learn to redefine failure and learn what success actually feels like.

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01:01:42

Laying down the ground rules for the toxic people in...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/02/14

If you want a toxic person to change, it will probably never happen. However, there is something you can do to change the course of the relationship that may actually cause them to act differently. Sometimes you gotta make rules that guide toxic people to healthier behavior.

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01:19:26

Making the shift from repeatedly being upset at...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2021/02/07

When you have emotional reactions that you don't want to have toward someone you care about, you probably try to control yourself but fail. Because of that, the pattern repeats itself over and over again until you heal from some past event or shift your perception so much that what used to bother you simply disappears. That shift is possible.

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