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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

30:59

Medusaceratops, the Gorgon Horned Face

Paleo Bites ·

2021/07/06

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Medusaceratops-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Medusaceratops, the dinosaur without snake hair or a petrifying gaze but with slightly droopy frill horns and that justifies its name I guess. From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot centrosaurine ceratopsid also has the species name lokii, because why have one mythological reference in your scientific name when you can have two? Take that, Sauroposeidon proteles! Want to

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23:25

Allosaurus, the Different Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/06/29

(image source: https://www.scified.com/topic/49417) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Allosaurus, the most common predator of its day and a real piece of work too. From the Late Jurassic, this 35-foot theropod is quite cool but always seems to get overshadowed by T. rex. At least it's on top in Jurassic times! Unless you think Saurophaganax was a separate genus. Which I do. So sorry, Allosaurus. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus

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26:27

Bambiraptor, the Baby Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2021/06/22

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Bambiraptor-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Bambiraptor, the most adorable member of a family of ruthless cold-blooded monsters. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot dromaeosaur theropod was small enough and had developed enough wing feathers that it might have been capable of flight. Because flying raptors are exactly what we needed. Imagine how much scarier Jurassic Park would be if those raptors flew! Want to

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20:45

Masiakasaurus, the Vicious Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/06/15

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Masiakasaurus-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Masiakasaurus, a serious contender for the dinosaur with the worst teeth. From the Late Cretaceous, this 14-foot noasaurid might have used its teeth for catching fish, small reptiles, and some have even suggested fruit. Because that kind of mouth is what I think of when I think frugivore. Maybe I'll take this guy to the smoothie shop with me on my next trip. Just kidding; I

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20:59

Muttaburrasaurus, the Muttaburra Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/06/08

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muttaburrasaurus by NobuTamura) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Muttaburrasaurus, a relative of Iguanodon from Australia before everything there was trying to kill you. From the Early Cretaceous, this 25-foot rhabdodontid may have migrated to Antarctica in the summer, because the two continents were linked back in Mesozoic times. The calm coldness of Antarctica balanced out the dangerous heat of the Outback. How romantic. They

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19:44

Shastasaurus, the Mount Shasta Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/06/01

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/706009679067998263/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Shastasaurus, the biggest marine reptile and biggest non-whale animal of all time; jeez, who are you trying to impress? From the Late Triassic, this 70-foot ichthyosaur goes back and forth in being classified as either its own genus or a subspecies of Shonisaurus, but for now it's its own genus, until paleontologists get drunk and write a paper changing it again. Want to

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21:46

Orkoraptor, the Toothed River Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2021/05/25

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Orkoraptor_a0ab.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Orkoraptor, a dinosaur that has a fantasy race in its genus name and so Matthew managed to get a fantasy nerd to talk about it with him. From the Late Cretaceous, this 24-foot megaraptoran theropod has a confusing taxonomical mess of a history, having been classified before as a dromaeosaur, a tyrannosaur, and even a large compsognathid. Sheesh, scientists, form a

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23:27

Bullockornis, the Demon Duck of Doom

Paleo Bites ·

2021/05/18

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Bullockornis) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Bullockornis, named after Australia's Bullock Creek but colloquially known as the Demon Duck of Doom. For real. I'm not making this up, even though it's totally on brand. From the Miocene epoch, this 8-foot-tall dromornithid was also known as the Thunder Duck, because one ostentatious nickname wasn't good enough for it I suppose. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our

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22:50

Sauropelta, the Lizard Shield

Paleo Bites ·

2021/05/11

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Sauropelta-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Sauropelta, the spiky armored one with spikes slightly spikier than the other spiky armored ones. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot long nodosaurid would make a very unappetizing meal for any wandering T. rex... since by the time the rex evolved, Sauropelta had been extinct for forty million years, and no one wants to eat anything that old. Want to further support the

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21:25

Dilophosaurus, the Two-Crested Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/05/04

(image source: https://www.scified.com/topic/32736) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Dilophosaurus, the first dinosaur super-predator that got done real dirty by its single big movie appearance. From the Early Jurassic, this 19-foot theropod was so awesome that it didn't need any frills or poison spit; it could maim and brutalize with just grit alone! We salute you, Dilophosaurus, as one of the few dinosaurs who's real counterpart is cooler than the Hollywood version

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24:35

Velociraptor, the Fast Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2021/04/27

(image source: https://myths-made-real.blogspot.com/2011/11/creature-feature-velociraptors.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Velociraptor, the scaly man-sized door-opening movie monster, except it was feathered, it was dog-sized, and there were no doors back then for it to open. From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot dromaeosaurid was actually relatively obscure in popular media until its big blockbuster appearance, and now people won't shut up about it. Seriously, it's

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20:07

Majungasaurus, the Mahajanga Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/04/20

(image source: https://artbyphil.blogspot.com/2011/09/ifferocious.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Majungasaurus, a meat-eating dinosaur from Madagascar that's seriously unpleasant. From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot abelisaurid is one of the few dinosaurs with direct evidence of cannibalism, which means this thing is just as ugly on the inside as it is on the outside. Eeesh. This might be a hot take, but I'm glad this thing's dead. Want to further support the

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21:41

Leedsichthys, the Fish of Leeds

Paleo Bites ·

2021/04/13

(image source: https://prehistoricearthblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/15/leedsichthys/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Leedsichthys, a really, really big fish, and that pretty much sums it up. From the Late Jurassic, this 59-foot fish is like, a really big fish. Seriously, imagine a big fish; Leedsichthys is even bigger than that. Whoa! Hey, didn't Tim Burton make a movie about this creature? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus

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20:37

Struthiomimus, the Ostrich Mimic

Paleo Bites ·

2021/04/06

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struthiomimus#/media/File:Struthiomimus_BW.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Struthiomimus, the dinosaur with a lot of skulls found due to them sticking their heads in the sand and dying... okay, that's not true, but whatever. From the Late Cretaceous, this 15-foot ornithomimid isn't as famous as it's cousin Gallimimus due to the latter having a big movie appearance in Jurassic Park, but eh, the acting life's not for

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23:44

Denversaurus, the Denver Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/03/30

(image source: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/vP31a) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Denversaurus, the official sponsor dino of the mile-high city when the Rockies baseball team isn't shoving their stupid Triceratops down our throats. From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot nodosaurid peacefully browsed the low-lying trees while trying not to get eaten by Tyrannosaurus and the like. We've all been there, haven't we? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our

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29:17

Argentavis, the Argentine Bird

Paleo Bites ·

2021/03/23

(image source: http://aikavaellus.fi/en/timeline/6ma/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Argentavis, the biggest flying bird of all time, unless you think pterosaurs are birds, which if you do, you dumb. From the Late Miocene, this 23-foot-wingspan condor soared across prehistoric Patagonia and terrorized baby ground sloths and hoofed mammals. What a bully. Someone should really do something about this thing! Oh wait, it's extinct. Want to further support the show? Sign up to

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20:48

Regaliceratops, the Royal Horned Face

Paleo Bites ·

2021/03/16

(image source: http://www.sci-news.com/paleontology/science-regaliceratops-peterhewsi-02879.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Regaliceratops, a horned dinosaur with a very regal-looking frill, almost like it's in the name or something. From the Late Cretaceous, this 17-foot dinosaur hosted elegant garden parties and supported the troops while also being hunted by dinosaurs like Albertosaurus. How dare they disrespect royalty like that?! Want to further support the

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22:54

Ichthyosaurus, the Fish Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/03/09

(image source: https://www.dkfindout.com/uk/dinosaurs-and-prehistoric-life/prehistoric-reptiles/ichthyosaurus/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Ichthyosaurus, the reptile trying to be a dolphin trying to be a fish; sheesh, pick a career path already. From the Early Jurassic, this 10-foot marine reptile dominated the early Mesozoic seas only to be replaced by more efficient creatures later on like the mosasaurs. You had your fifteen minutes of fame, Ichthyosaurus, but

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25:37

Beelzebufo, the Devil Frog

Paleo Bites ·

2021/03/02

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beelzebufo by Nobu Tamura) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Beelzebufo, a giant frog that preyed on baby dinosaurs, which is pretty messed up if you ask me. From the Late Cretaceous, this 1-foot amphibian terrorized the swamps of Madagascar more than any fossa ever did, or any lemur with a semi-automatic rifle. What documentaries am I watching again? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus

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22:32

Dinornis, the Giant Moa

Paleo Bites ·

2021/02/23

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Island_giant_moa) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Dinornis, a giant bird from New Zealand that could probably kick your stomach right out of your mouth like a rugby ball. From the Early Holocene, this 12-foot-tall ratite has the honor of being the most recent creature on this show, having been hunted to extinction only six hundred years ago. Yay, humans? God, we suck. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our

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