Divorce Dialogues

00:25:17

A Community of Women Navigating Divorce with Elise...

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/07/27

‘How you go through this forest determines, to great extent, who you are when you come out of it.’ Getting divorced can feel a lot like being lost in the woods. And no matter how much information you have gathered from the experts, you probably still feel very much alone. What if there was a community of women making their way through that same forest that you could go to for support and guidance? Elise Pettus is the founder and Editorial Director of UNtied, an online and real-life community for

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00:25:27

The Deep Process of Releasing Conflict in Divorce...

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/07/18

Alexis Neely was going through an adversarial divorce settlement process. One evening in a hotel room, the weight of the conflict landed on her, and she prayed that a higher power would show her the way to resolution. In that moment, a very clear voice inside said, “Ask him what he needs to be safe, and give it to him.” Initially, Alexis resisted. Would her ex-husband take advantage of her generosity? What if he asked for more than she had to give? Eventually, though, Alexis found the courage and

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00:25:43

Understanding Parental Alienation with Charlie Jamison

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/06/30

Parental alienation is a high-stakes game with serious, long-term consequences for the children involved. When a child is manipulated into showing unwarranted fear or hostility toward the targeted parent and used as a pawn in one parent’s agenda against the other, it alters their sense of reality and normalizes deceit in the context of relationships. What causes a parent to put their child in this position? Board Certified Marital and Family Law attorney Charles Jamieson has been protecting

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00:25:43

Prenuptial Agreements: A Framework for...

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/06/15

‘We are emotionally wired to avoid conflict. People sometimes have to be forced to—or have to be encouraged or coached to—and the prenup provides that opportunity because you really do have to sit down, roll up your sleeves, and start talking about what’s important to you.’ Mindy Utay is a psychotherapist in practice on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. Her background in the law, social work, and psychoanalysis allows Mindy to support couples and families in identifying and resolving conflicts with

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00:25:16

Allegations of Child Abuse and Neglect During Divorce...

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/06/02

When emotions are running high in the divorce process, it is not uncommon for people to amplify their concerns over an ex-spouse’s ability to parent. In some cases, those concerns might lead to allegations of child abuse and neglect. What is the right course of action when you suspect an ex-spouse of substance abuse or mental health issues? What can you do to ensure the health and safety of your children without overreacting? What happens once Child Protective Services gets involved? Allison

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00:25:11

Making Divorce Child-Centric with Dr. Eric Frazer

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/05/22

In working with divorcing clients, family lawyers develop both legal and financial strategy. But there is a third element to the ‘triad of divorce’—the family. How can we support lawyers in gathering the information they need in the area of child custody? How can we make divorce child-centric and support families in making a fluid transition? How can we put the ‘family’ back in family law? Dr. Eric Frazer is the co-founder of Child Custody Analytics, an online platform designed to provide family

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00:24:32

The Bipartisan Budget Act & Changes to Social...

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/05/18

With the Bipartisan Budget Act of 2015, lawmakers closed the loophole that allowed a worker to file for social security benefits and then suspend payments—while his or her partner collected the spousal benefit. How might these changes impact your social security benefits? How can you maximize the amount you receive from the government? And how are social security benefits calculated in the first place? Gayle Lob is the President and CEO of Lob Planning Group. With 29 years of experience in

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00:26:00

The Unique Emotional Journey of Divorce with Shireen...

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/04/20

Divorce is a difficult emotional journey, regardless of the circumstances. But in most cases, the divorcing partners are in very different places along that journey. The person leaning out has likely been thinking about ending the marriage for a long time, while the other is a bit of a ‘deer in headlights’ and needs time to catch up emotionally. What role can a divorce coach play in helping the couple navigate this common disconnect? Shireen Meistrich is the President of the International Academy

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00:25:07

Nobody WINS in a Litigated Divorce with Judge Sondra...

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/04/01

The vast majority of divorcing couples who choose litigation do so due to the misconception that the courts will protect them. The fact is, 97% of divorce cases in New York settle before they go to trial, and the judge is in no position to protect the 3% that do. The Honorable Sondra Miller spent 21 years in the court system, and she contends that divorcing couples are much better served by alternative dispute resolution processes such as mediation and collaborative divorce. Judge Miller received

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00:25:17

Advice from Adult Children of Divorce

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/03/17

‘[The conflict] was so contentious on a regular basis, there was no room for the children—and that’s the danger.’ The sad truth is that divorcing parents embroiled in conflict are often so wrapped up in their own pain that they fail to protect their children. This was true for Janet, an adult child of divorce who continues to feel the impact of the tension, hostility and destruction that marked the end of her parents’ relationship. Today, Janet sits down with Katherine to share her difficult

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00:24:21

The Emotional Repercussions of Divorce with Elana Katz

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/03/13

Divorce can bring out sides of ourselves we didn’t know were there. Depression is common, as is rage. And many divorcing couples are surprised by these feelings of extreme anger or sadness and isolation. The question becomes, how do you process these emotions and deal with them in a healthy way? Elana Katz is a psychotherapist and collaborative divorce professional based in Manhattan. She also serves as senior faculty at the Ackerman Institute for the Family, where she teaches advanced family

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00:24:20

The Founding Father of Collaborative Divorce with Stu...

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/03/10

In 1990, Minneapolis divorce attorney Stu Webb was burned out and ready to call it a day. He had been practicing family law for 26 years, and he was done with the adversarial nature of litigation. Stu had a plan to quit his law practice, but he decided to quit ‘outrageously’ and try something completely different—working WITH the other lawyer toward a settlement for the divorcing couple. The concept worked, and Stu became the founding father of collaborative divorce. Stu began to share information

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00:24:15

Choosing Acceptance When You Can’t Forgive with Dr....

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/02/25

We’re taught that forgiveness is good for us, that it’s what good people do. But if you’ve experienced betrayal or hurt and the responsible party demonstrates little remorse, forgiveness may seem impossible. Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring would argue that acceptance is a viable alternative to forgiveness, allowing you to stop obsessing over the injury, get healthy and heal. Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring is a board certified clinical psychologist and renowned expert in the realm of trust, intimacy and

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00:22:38

A Case Study in Mediation and Litigation

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/01/30

You may have guessed that the tone of the mediation process is very different from that of litigation, but you may or may not realize that a couple can makes use of more than one process choice during the course of a divorce. Barbara and her ex-husband, Alan, used a mediator to design a parenting plan, and the process was both cost-effective and peaceful. But when it came time to deal with the unraveling of their financial lives, the tone shifted. Barbara had left her job in social work 13 years

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00:25:30

The Child Specialist: Giving Children a Voice in the...

Divorce Dialogues ·

2016/01/12

Parents are often wary of the role of a child specialist in the divorce process. They don’t want to put their children in a difficult position, and the divorcing couple may be under the mistaken impression that the child specialist is there to do a forensic evaluation and make custody recommendations. Rather, it is the job of a child specialist to empower the children in the collaborative process, giving voice to their needs and concerns. Dr. Lauren Behrman is a clinical psychologist, child

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00:25:16

Unlocking Your Destructive Cycle to Stop the Fight...

Divorce Dialogues ·

2015/12/18

Though the details are different, most couples argue about the same old issues: Money. Sex. Household responsibilities. But the true root of the problem stems from the feelings of hurt that inspire a defensive reaction and perpetuate a destructive cycle of conflict. So, how do you stop the fight? Is there a better way to respond to hurt that will allow you and your partner to engage in solving the problem together? Michelle Brody is a clinical psychologist and couples coach who specializes in

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00:24:12

Making Financial Decisions After Divorce with Carole...

Divorce Dialogues ·

2015/12/02

Divorce often means being thrust into a series of financial decisions that you may or may not feel prepared to make. And if divorce has brought you sudden wealth, financial professionals are likely crawling out of the woodwork to offer their services. How do you choose the right advisor for you? What resources are available to help you learn the basics of investing? What are some of the common challenges people face in your position? Carole Epstein has been a licensed financial advisor with Morgan

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00:25:16

Don Juan, Divorce and the Spousal Benefits of Social...

Divorce Dialogues ·

2015/10/23

According to the Economic Policy Institute, nearly half of families in the US have no retirement savings at all, and the failure to set money aside for the future ranks as the number one financial regret among Americans. So what if you are counting on receiving spousal benefits through social security, but your marriage ends in divorce? Can you still collect the spousal share? How long should you wait to claim to get the maximum return? Is your ex-spouse involved in the process? Gayle Lob is the

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00:24:15

Designing a Care Plan for Your Aging Parents with...

Divorce Dialogues ·

2015/10/20

Parents just don’t understand. But neither do adult children! If you have concerns about keeping an aging parent safe, you may be tempted to take over and start making the decisions for them. But Barbara Newman-Mannix argues that there are ways to compromise on common sense solutions that afford your parents their autonomy AND ensure their well-being. Barbara is the founder of A Dignified Life, a company that helps individuals and families develop care plans for elders and family members with

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00:25:15

Divorce Through Mediation, Collaboration or...

Divorce Dialogues ·

2015/10/08

Process choice can be tricky. Most of us would like to avoid the courtroom if at all possible, but how do mediation and collaboration work? How do you determine which divorce model is right for your circumstances? And when is it appropriate to choose litigation? Melissa Goodstein has extensive experience in both mediation and the collaborative divorce process. She has been practicing mediation since 1993, and she received her training in the collaborative model in 2003. Her practice is located in

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