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PODCAST

Coming Out Pod

Coming Out Pod is a weekly podcast hosted by Lauren Flans where queer folks from all walks of life tell the tales of how they came out to friends, family, and the world at large! Because who doesn"t love a coming out story?

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

65:45

Episode 49: Kelsey O’Regan

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/05/22

When BIFL writer Kelsey O’Regan realized in college that they* were bi (cheers, Glee!), they assumed that was their coming out story. In the past year, however, Kelsey has come to understand that they're also asexual, and a whole new journey has been unfolding. Kelsey is our first ace-identified guest, and we cover A LOT! Anxiety, Christianity, the lack of ace representation, the way that sex functions in relationships, the hyper-sexualization of culture and media...and Isabella Gomez.*At the time

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59:45

Episode 48: CB Lee

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/05/15

CB Lee is the author of the young adult sci-fi series Sidekick Squad, so it's no surprise that the sci-fi genre played a central role in her own coming out as bisexual. CB shares how she writes her books for "16-year-old me," and talks about the power of seeing yourself represented in media. We discuss the parallels between queerness and superhero stories, and delve deep into mental health/suicide prevention. Also: #stillawerewolfFollow CB at @cblee_cblee, and check out her books at

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48:38

Episode 47: Brendan Scannell

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/05/08

Actor/comedian Brendan Scannell of Heathers and the new Netflix series, Bonding, joins us today, and we talk BDSM for the first time on the pod! Brendan discusses overcoming his fear that expressing his femininity would make him unattractive to other men, and spills everything about his "Gay Rumspringa" (don't get too excited; it was in the 7th grade). Also, first loves, The Prince and Me, and a Christmas wish list that is...very advanced for a 9-year-old.IG: @bscan / Twitter: @BrendanScannell

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59:05

Episode 46: Aunt Renee!

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/05/01

It's a special family episode when we're joined by Nicole's Aunt Renee! Renee Kasman came out nearly 45 years ago, and some of the incredible highlights from her story include being a queer woman in 1970's NYC, and taking the state of Tennessee to court with Nicole's Aunt Nina! She also shares a foolproof answer to the age-old question, "Which one of you is the man?", and we do a cringe-worthy reading from a 1958 book Renee was given as a child on the dangers of "female homosexuality."

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69:11

Episode 45: Dalila Ali Rajah

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/04/24

In this can't-miss episode, we sit down with wise and wonderful actress/writer/storyteller/healer Dalila Ali Rajah! Dalila didn't discover her attraction to women until she was in her mid-twenties and in a serious relationship with a man, but when she went there...she went BOLDLY. Dalila details her years-long journey as we take a DEEP dive into polyamory, bisexuality, motherhood, and gender. Also, Nicole has a second coming out of her own...!Follow @dalilaalirajah everywhere /

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64:23

Episode 44: Briana Venskus LIVE AT CLEXACON!

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/04/17

In our first LIVE episode, we talk to BRIANA VENSKUS at CLEXACON - OMG! Briana grew up in North Carolina with very accepting parents, but in an environment where she was otherwise "pounded with religion." She discusses dating her first girlfriend at 13, tells another coming out story without which her own wouldn't be complete, and explains how leading with empathy and kindness has always served her well. We also take questions from the audience, and Briana shares the greatest breakup line of all

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61:20

Episode 43: Team Jamber

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/04/10

It's our first-ever COUPLES EPISODE! Jill and Amber Rivera (BIFL creative team) both identify as pansexual, but because they're in a female/female relationship, most people unwittingly assume they're gay (silly people...). We discuss erasure/visibility, and Team Jamber tells us how their individual coming out journeys merged together a few years back, and why chosen family is so important. We also talk fan fiction, since we have a REAL LIFE SHIP on the pod today, people!Trailer at

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58:44

Episode 42: Henry Epstein

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/04/03

Comic Henry Epstein (Portland Queer Comedy Festival) came out as gay at 13, but it wasn't until coming out as non-binary that the "celebratory missing piece" of their story fell into place. Henry tells us the ways in which body dysmorphia informed their relationship with gender, and discusses what it's like to be a non-binary person with male presenting privilege. We also talk code switching, tackle the semantics of "you guys" and "dude," and mourn the disappearance of Nicole's ass

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60:50

Episode 41: JD Barton

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/03/27

JD Barton is a doctoral student in clinical psychology, and our very first guest whose coming out story involves a CELEBRITY! (...But not like that.) JD's methods of dealing with his sexuality included becoming super-religious as a child, and later crafting the personality of the "hilariously-sassy-but-totally-desexualized-gay-guy!" in high school. He also talks volunteering for The Trevor Project, gives insider tips on how to find cheap mental health resources, and makes us snort-laugh.IG:

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56:33

Episode 40: Martha Marion

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/03/20

Actor/writer/VO artist Martha Marion comes to us right smack in the middle of her coming out process! Martha always preferred queer spaces and queer community, to the point where she really felt like it would make more sense if she was gay. But she was never attracted to another woman until her early 30s, when she met someone and "a switch flipped." We discuss fear of appropriation and "not being queer enough," as well as the magic and wonder of Gay Puberty (TM). Also: ten alternate terms for

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53:54

Episode 39: Michael Sasaki

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/03/13

Growing up, actor Michael Sasaki (BIFL; Kidding; S.W.A.T.) was a competitive figure skater and the kind of guy who "always had a girlfriend." Michael discusses finding his truth by way of the Robinsons-May catalog, mistaking club culture for gay culture early on in his journey, and coming to terms with the fact that his Japanese heritage might be somewhat in conflict with his sexuality. Plus, puka shells and spiky hair - must be an early 2000's coming out!Follow Michael on Instagram at

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60:04

Episode 38: Jo Lampert

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/03/06

We're joined this week by Nicole's bestie and our first "dyke"-identified guest, Jo Lampert (Transparent; Orange Is The New Black)! Jo is a force of nature, and our conversation with her spans a mistaken claim of asexuality, the knee touch under the table that changed everything, and the years-long evolution that allowed Jo to finally be "visible and vulnerable in love and in sex." Also covered: humping!See Jo in Season 6 of OITNB and the series finale of Transparent, and check out

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57:24

Episode 37: Louis Peitzman

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/02/27

Writer Louis Peitzman (BuzzFeed News; The New York Times) regales us with a series of hilarious stories from his coming out journey, which started with LiveJournal and culminated on Facebook. He talks about how telling his parents was the one piece of the puzzle he struggled with for years, until - in a surprise twist! - the straightest character in RENT gave him the courage to finally come out to them. Also, a cautionary tale about what *not* to give your mom for Mother's Day...Follow

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66:13

Episode 36: Tommy Hobson

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/02/20

Triple threat Tommy Hobson (The Fresh Beat Band; Lifetime's I'll Be Watching) takes us on his 15-year journey from believing he could "pray the gay away" to being out and proud in his personal and professional life. Stops along the way include the ritualistic burning of a confession letter, and several instances of mic drop-wisdom bestowed upon him by various family members. Tommy also talks toxic masculinity, fear of letting his parents down, and girls sneaking into his bed. Wait;

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64:16

Episode 35: Tori Gaines

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/02/13

It's almost Valentine's Day, so WE FINALLY BROUGHT ON ONE OF OUR EXES!!! Actor/theatre maker/educator Tori Gaines dated Nicole at two different times, and the first time just so happens to be part of her coming out story! Tori walks us through how she's navigated life as a "tri-bi" woman (bisexual, biracial, and bipolar), and we also talk about the vast importance of visibility. Plus, the Legend of Nicole's Tiny Jean Shorts!Follow Tori on IG at tori__gaines (that's a double underscore)!

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52:28

Episode 34: Greg Barnett

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/02/06

Actor Greg Barnett (Pretty Little Liars; Raising Hope) was born and raised Mormon. Despite having realized he was gay in high school, he still planned to follow "the board game of Mormonism," which meant marrying a woman and having a family the 'traditional' way. Greg describes how he came to choose a different path, and how his relationship to his faith is still evolving. We also deep dive into religion, and along the way make some excellent metaphors involving tapas and 3D glasses!IG:

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72:34

Episode 33: Ashley Holzer

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/01/30

Ashley Holzer (a teacher's aide and mother of three) came into our lives via the L.A. LGBT Center's Women's Coming Out group, and *wow* is her story incredible. Ashley covers so many important things we had not explored on the pod until now, including parenting, getting sober, divorcing her best friend, grappling with mental health, and enduring loss; ALL while coming to grips with her sexual orientation. She is a champion, and we're so grateful to her for sharing her story!Ashley is on IG at

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66:22

Episode 32: Shaan Dasani

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/01/30

South Asian actor/filmmaker Shaan Dasani (Razor Tongue; These/Thems) grew up in North Carolina, and spent his childhood believing that he would grow up to be a man – until puberty hit. In one of our favorite discussions yet, Shaan tells us about the steps he took to try to "be straight," his eventual realization that he was actually transgender, and his present-day experience navigating masculinity as a "very binary-looking" trans man. Also, THE MOST TENDER STORY ABOUT A TINY TUXEDO!Follow

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44:08

Episode 31: Dana Piccoli

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/01/16

We finally get to chat with everyone's Fairy Gaymother, Dana Piccoli! Dana is a fixture in queer media, and a writer, host, and frequent moderator at ClexaCon. She talks to us about the "gay wave" that swept her all-girls Catholic prep school, and the pivotal "aha!" moment she had at show choir camp (very on brand for a coming out story). Also: being a late bloomer, and the importance of straight allies.Dana is @DanaPiccoli everywhere, and her queer romance novel Savor the Moment comes out March

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60:03

Episode 30: Clayton Farris

Coming Out Pod ·

2019/01/09

Actor/comedian Clayton Farris (American Horror Story; Scream Queens) has always been attracted to men and women, but for the longest time he resisted putting a label to his sexuality. In a hilarious and vulnerable conversation, Clayton details trying on both gay and straight personas, and describes how seeing a "sex therapist to the stars" helped him to finally feel liberated by embracing the "bisexual" label. Also, we talk awkwardness surrounding sex, because SOMEBODY has to,

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