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PODCAST

No Crying In Baseball

When Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you"ll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman"s best friend, and there"s no crying in baseball.

sports baseball

All Episodes

43:34

Naked Guy Appreciation

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/06/01

The Nats Park streaker, bringing joy to millions, deserves a Skittles endorsement, but is banned from ballparks for life, while Mickey Calloway is out a year and a half for sexually harassing at least five women. Guess where we come down on this? Marcell Ozuna goes from former NCiB boyfriend to the “Never gonna be a boyfriend” list quickly and definitively. We’d like Loretta’s Lounge back, please (you can help!), but we’re happy to see the New Era local clip-art caps go. That’s not what

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46:07

We Want to Retire Like CC Sabathia

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/05/25

You know it’s serious when Tony La Russa and his unwritten rules aren’t the worst thing in our Police Blotter. Hello, Felipe Vazquez. The Willy Adames trade sends Pottymouth’s boyfriend roster into disarray. Jesse “Da Wink” Winker hears MVP chants. Chad Pinder and Ian Happ are new men after their IL stints. Jake Cronenworth hits an inside-the-park home run for Patti’s birthday, and Mountcastle slams from her bench. A go-ahead slam for Miggy gets him closer to the 500 mark, and Nando gets to

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53:00

"You meet a girl who plays baseball, and you're...

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/05/21

Ava Benach, through DC Girls Baseball, is building a community of leaders and teaching life skills while giving girls who want to play baseball every opportunity to do so. Through Ava, we meet four tenacious, focused, fearless young ballplayers who change the world every day by playing on their high school teams despite being told they should be playing softball instead, working twice as hard to play a game they love, and traveling hundreds of miles if that’s what it takes to find their

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44:14

Feudalism and Bad Faith

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/05/18

The Astros bring us “feudalism” as our vocabulary lesson, the LPBRC looks the other way with Roberto Alomar, and both the player’s union and officials from the City of Oakland call the commissioner’s office on operating in bad faith. And still our biggest rant involves cross-training with high school softball in North Carolina and, yes, questionable rules about hair. Albert Pujols finds a home with the Dodgers, Jarred Kelenic gets a curtain call, and Jose Abreu and Hunter Dozier

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54:51

Baseball Moms, Albert Pujols, and a Ratcoon

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/05/11

We moms who love baseball celebrate Mothers’ Day with actual Baseball Moms, Stephanie and Diana, of the Moms and Baseball podcast. We bond over words to live by, good snacks, the Akron Rubber Ducks, and Tim’s mom. Separately, we give the mom seal of approval to Erica Scherzer for remarkable planning, Dusty’s mom for Spanish language and cooking lessons, Beth Mowins’ mom for telling her of COURSE she can grow up to do play by play for the Cubs, and Josh Bell’s mom for instilling in him a

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59:28

It's Sports Bras or Nothing

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/05/04

The British Baseball Federation demonstrates exactly why women should be involved in every level of the development of a women’s baseball league. And causes us to state for the record that we will not work topless. We celebrate David Peralta, Eduardo Escobar, Anthony Rizzo and Freddie Freeman for bringing the fun. Joey Votto, Shane Bieber, and Vladdy (and his Daddy) reach some “Bench”marks. Roberto Alomar is banned from baseball and Patti’s heart just can’t take any more. Pottymouth wants

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38:53

Arugula, Coffee, and Righteous Indignation

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/04/27

Join us as we celebrate AS*HAT Day, discuss the food choices of ballplayers, and try to make “crepuscular” a baseball word. The Baltimore Orioles are an impressive public health model as they strive for 100% vaccination organization-wide, offer free COVID-19 testing at home games, and put their “take one for the team” vaccination PSA program into heavy rotation. Not to mention stopping the red-hot As winning streak at 13.Our boyfriend highlights are super-Padres heavy with Fernando Tatis

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64:19

Hair Above Replacement

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/04/20

Your vaccinated co-hosts record in the same room for the first time in over a year! Thank you, science. COVID outbreaks hit the Twins and maybe the Astros, and we can’t help but feel a little told-you-so about Andrelton Simmons. Jake Cronenworth, David Price, and Joe Musgrove are all in the same sentence but not how you’d expect. Joey Votto executes a triple play but we think he could have done better. Andrés Giménez scores 4 runs, 5 hits, and one fight with Adam Eaton who is no longer on

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51:53

Shake it, Kiké

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/04/13

Your over-stimmed hosts have been to a ballpark and you can hear it in our scratchy voices. Charlie Blackmon helps us explain why Coors Field is a pretty good choice for the All Star Game. Joe Musgrove finally earns the Padres their first no-hitter, and we learn he, like us, enjoys a nice IPA but also a disturbing amount of chewing gum. Victor Caratini gets some well-deserved love too. The Cleveland pitchers are hot right now too, and Patti gives little brother Logan Allen a promotion to

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61:50

That All Star Game Thing was Us, Right?

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/04/06

Opening weekend was full of heartbreak and highlights we didn’t see coming. Approving of a decision by Rob Manfred has us reeling, so we take you through the decision-making, and the aftermath, of yanking the All Star Game from Atlanta. Turns out it wasn’t just our rant, and there are also grammatical issues. Miggy’s homer in the snow, and outstanding pitching brought the fun, as did stellar boyfriend performances by Jose Abreu and Michael A. Taylor. BTW, Eloy Jimenez is NOT dead, please

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58:43

HOPEning Day!

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/03/30

We always look forward to Opening Day, but it just feels different this time. We are moving in the right direction -- it’s HOPEning Day. But don’t worry, we also have rants. And mezcal.Patti and the Pottymouth channel patron saint Sean Doolittle -- sports are the reward for a functioning society. If a couple of old white guys in Georgia can take voter suppression to new heights, MLB can damn well yank this July’s All Star Game out of Atlanta, FIFA can pull them from World Cup host

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45:21

Don’t Hit Your Brother: It’s Pitcher Day

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/03/23

We are those people that believe that Jesus Camargo-Corrales wouldn’t have more than 21 pounds methamphetamine and 1.2 pounds of oxycodone in his Cubs duffel bag if minor league players a living wage. Also helpful hints from Pottymouth about consent to search. An appellate court rules the MLB’s small print is way too small to matter.Patti clearly cannot pronounce Red Sox Cornah, but Pottymouth sure can so we have a Franchy Cordero boyfriend ruling from the Commish, root for opening day

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59:11

At Least There’s No Tailgating

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/03/16

The Rangers think a superspreader event is a great way to welcome Opening Day, while the rest of the ballparks plan to welcome a small number of fans back to the stands. The Commissioner uses the minors as his own private laboratory to try out a huge number of new rules in advance of CBA negotiations.Shortstop, conqueror of the Durham Bull, and Pookie’s pal Willy Adames is Pottymouth’s Rays boyfriend for this season. Gavin Lux, the Dodger’s 2B with the heart in the shape of a baseball

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51:13

Bat Flips, Puns, and Gerrymandering

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/03/09

Pottymouth narrows the field to white guy bat flippers for her boyfriends this week. For the As, she picks big league foodie Mark Cahna, and for the Padres, the man on the wrong end of our favorite play ever witnessed in person, Trent Grisham. Patti goes for utility and puns with her picks. Chad Pinder wins her over for the As with his work with special needs kids, and “that Cronenworth guy”, Jake Cronenworth for the Padres.COVID numbers look good around the league, some ballparks are

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57:56

Like Chess, but for Sports

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/03/02

The return of spring training means the return of our grooming segment, featuring Francisco Lindor, as well as all the feels, thanks to Trey Mancini. And great confusion as to the rules. Jose Abreu provides a handy bridge between the COVID update and the Police Blotter, via Albert Pujols and Tony LaRussa. Kevin Mather says some things out loud that he probably shouldn’t have, regarding manipulating Jarred Kelenic’s service time, “overpaid” players, and impatience with English as a second

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60:22

Patti Gets an Omar Vizquel Do-Over

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/02/23

Pitchers and catchers reported last week so that means we’re back with the COVID numbers, the Blue Jays staying south of their border, and baby steps to fans in the stands. NCiB poster boy Fernando Tatis, Jr. is a Padre for life, and forces us to do complicated math. Pottymouth generously tries to cut Brett Gardner some slack, but Patti will have none of it. Thanks to Johnny Damon and Ryan Ellis, we’ve instituted a Police Blotter segment. Zach Britton stands up for women, and sees no reason

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52:55

Goofy But Never Abrasive

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/02/16

The League updates harassment and discrimination policies, expanding mandatory training beyond players to include staff and front office executives. A new anonymous hotline for reporting violations has been established, and although we are in favor of these baby steps, Pottymouth proposes going full public school and mandating reporting for anyone who hears of violations. Giant steps backwards in fan engagement, however, as MLB cleans house of social media coordinators. The League and the

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54:18

Finding Jesus in Miami

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/02/09

We talk way more Jesus than usual, as we select both veteran (“We Believe in Jesus”) Jesús Aguilar and batting left because of David Ortiz prospect Jesús Sánchez as our Marlin’s boyfriends. Kim Ng was a contender for Marlins boyfriend but we have stupid rules. Over at the Yankees, both Pottymouth and Patti go for guys that are quietly generous in their birthplaces and save the noise for the field. Pottymouth profiles Colombian Gio Urshela, and Patti tells you of mask-wearing redhead Clint

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61:48

We Need a Snow Day

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/02/02

Remember in the before times when we had the joy of snow days? Anti-vaxxers delay vaccinations at Dodger Stadium, which we firmly believe disrupts both the possibility of fans in stands and the opportunity for snow days. Women continue to rock baseball, as Sarah Goodrum becomes the first woman to serve as a minor league hitting coordinator. For the fourth time in 50 years, the Hall of Fame voters elected 0 new members -- this time it seems character counts. We ponder inconsistency over

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54:02

Make Atlanta Hammers Happen

No Crying In Baseball ·

2021/01/26

Now is the time, Atlanta. Honor Hank Aaron and eliminate your problematic baseball team name in one fell swoop. Hammerin’ Hank deserves it. Kiké Hernandez and George Springer highlight the hot stove this week. The Mets fire Jared Porter for his abusive treatment of a female sports journalist (dick pics and out of control unsolicited texting). Good on ya, Steve Cohen, but next time include some women in your vetting and you can avoid the bad hire to begin with. Jessica Mendoza gives

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457 results

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