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PODCAST

The Fifth Column

Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch

Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition. www.wethefifth.com

news & politics

All Episodes

133:27

#390 "Stupid People, Stupid Ideas, and Stupid...

The Fifth Column ·

2023/01/14

* The Corvette Papers* “So my friend gets arrested for murder in South Sudan…” * No sex please, he’s British * The times, they have a’ changed * From Belfast to Pyongyang* If I Did It: Eichmann versus the neo-Nazis* Russophilia, left and right* America: a net exporter of bad ideas* Is there a war on the West?* Douglas’s new podcast, Uncancelled History* In defense of Lincoln and Churchill* Regrets, I’ve had just…one* Disqualifying Kant and Hume* That idiotic USA Today piece cited by Matt * And so

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114:23

#389 "We Need to Talk About Kevin (w/ former Rep....

The Fifth Column ·

2023/01/05

* Former Rep. Justin Amash was on the floor during the leadership fight??* Brian Lamb question: What does the speaker actually do?* And what do the Gang of Twenty actually want?* Rep. Amash: Kevin McCarthy “isn’t that bright” and “will do whatever it takes to maintain power”* Why the system is broken and how it got that way* Congress is becoming more European * Reminder: Amash created (and named) the Freedom Caucus* Are you really putting yourself forward to be speaker?* The whole system is broken

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93:35

#388 "Occasionally Honest, Unseasonably Reasonable"

The Fifth Column ·

2022/12/30

* Subway Protocol* Lying, Liar* Flooding the Zone* Modest Proposal* The Real Corn Pop* Domestic Disturbance * Buffalo Electronics* Trump Tapes* Moynihan is cold* Welch isn’t paying attention* Kmele coins a good one (for the third time)* Dank Meme Party* After Trump* Read This. Read That.Recorded: 12/29/22Published: 12/30/22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wethefifth.substack.com/subscribe

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110:59

#387 "Criminally Inclined, Grammatically Policed"

The Fifth Column ·

2022/12/22

* Sweet Baby Jesus* Ted Cruz 🖤’s Striper* Dress for the Job You Want* Defensive Capabilities + Fiscal Profligacy* The Worst Possible Scenario* Criminalish Betrayal* Worse than Watergate?* Presidential Travel Rewards* The Stanford Grammer Experiment* Demanding or Entitled BIPOCsRecorded: 12.21.22Published: 12.22.22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wethefifth.substack.com/subscribe

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145:11

#386 ""

The Fifth Column ·

2022/12/16

* Irish Israeli * France vs Morocco* That Marriage Act* Biden Told The Truth That Time* What Republicans Won’t Do, But Ought to* They’re Actievly Trying to Kill us * Leaving Twitter (Because I’m Oblivious, For the Children)* Doxxing*** Elon’s Plane?* MTG (Would have won!)* Jan 6th Prosecutions* MacedRecorded 12.14.22Published: 12.15.22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wethefifth.substack.com/subscribe

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94:57

#385 "Elon, NHJ, and MJ"

The Fifth Column ·

2022/12/14

Recorded on Sunday afternoon, this now-vintage episode was consider lost forever, after a certain Fifth Columnist discovered that he still doesn’t understand how computers, cameras, and microphones work. Well….lost until we (i.e. Moynihan) found a weird backup copy of the episode on the Twitch servers! So…a few days late, of variable quality, and now available for download:* Back to the “Twitter files,” reluctantly* Everyone loves Joe McCarthy * Yet another James/Jim Baker* The pointlessness of

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94:06

#384 "The Collapse of Pablo, Anti-Zionist Gimp"

The Fifth Column ·

2022/12/03

* Yes, we have to talk about Kanye West Ye Kardashian again * Verdict: The man is not well. And is an anti-Semite* Kmele is sad. Matt is not. * Wild guess: Ye is unfamiliar with Theodor Herzl* Note: some people with bad views used to have not so bad views* Remember “slavery was a choice?” That was pretty dumb* Is Kanye making people '“unsafe”?* Matt Taibbi releases internal Twitter comms on the Biden laptop * Journalists: this is the wrong type of journalism* These numbers seem pretty fake * Too

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152:51

383 w/ Ethan Strauss "The Realest Jews, God's...

The Fifth Column ·

2022/11/23

with/ Ethan Straus of House of Strauss (on Substack)* Does the NBA Have an Antisemitism Problem?* They control the media, our podcast, and the NBA!?* Wait, who isn’t Jewish?* “Step 1, Step 2, Step 3, Hitler”* Baseball + The John Birch Society* Stolen (Jewish) Valor* “More than an Athlete” / Lebron “gettin’ that Jewish money” James* Divide & Sponsor* Was (Is) Twitter Pushing Hysteria* But is it antisemitism? (Does it even matter)* Identitarianism, Judaism, and antisemitism (real and imagined)* How to

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93:10

382 w/ Nadav Eyal "Revolt and Resurrection: Tel Aviv...

The Fifth Column ·

2022/11/19

Rejecting twelve hours with the commoners in coach, Kmele remains stateside while Moynihan and Welch make goyish aliyah in Israel. Wandering from the Egyptian border in the South all the way up to Trump Heights in the North, the lads are introduced to one of Israel’s most famous journalists and big thinkers, Nadav Eyal, author of Revolt: The Worldwide Uprising Against Globalization. Eyal graciously joined the Fifth at a recording studio in Tel Aviv for a very deep, very nerdy chat about whether or

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103:40

381 "The Most Important Midterm Elections Ever"

The Fifth Column ·

2022/11/11

No Red Wave. No Blue Wave. No Fascist Takeover. No Democracy Dying in Darkness. The 2022 midterm elections came; they’ll take almost a month to sort out (including a runoff in Georgia) — but things are generally about as bad (and good) as they were before the election.Moynihan returns from the field, where he was covering the race in Florida.Welch and his family are momentarily clear of any exigent health emergencies.And Kmele taps in from Austin, Texas. This is a public episode. If you’d like to

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133:05

380 w/ Robert Draper "Democracy is on the Ballot...

The Fifth Column ·

2022/11/04

* The Libertarian Moment?* To Start A War* Weapons of Mass Delusion* Pelosi Attack* Definitely Not Bothsidesing* Voting For Anyone Else Is a Vote Against Democracy* The Gravity of Things* Reddit profiling* A Few Parting ThoughtsRecorded: 11.2.22Published: 11.3.22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wethefifth.substack.com/subscribe

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114:56

379 "Midterm Closing Arguments, Killing Kanye" w/...

The Fifth Column ·

2022/10/28

* Power Strip* A Victory for Equity* Surveying the Midterms* Fetterman’s Debate Disaster* The Mystery of the AIDS Quilt* The People vs Jim Eagle* Eminent, Indefatigable Election Fraud* Yarvin - The Mastermind* Black Lives Redux* I Miss The Old Kanye* “Whatabout!?” MSNBC Montage* Antisemitic Calypsos* Antisemitic Hip hop* Crosby, Stills and Ugh* T Boz Lives* From Ken Burns to Colorblind* African ApologiaRecorded 10/26/22Published 10/28/22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with

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131:26

378 "Nazis and Sycophants and Cynics (Oh My)"

The Fifth Column ·

2022/10/21

* Moynihan has COVID (Again)* Another NYC Covid Spike* “Dangerous New Levels of Misinformation”* The Kids Are Actually All Right (but they’re mostly not getting vaccinated)* No Apologies for #DeathSantis* Ladies Who “Lead” (and cry about it)* Red Wave, Blue Wall, Purple People Eaters* Moynihan’s “Free Smoke” Preview* Republican Skullduggery* Yes, And, [ Deepest Possible Sigh ]* The “AOC to Nazi” Pipeline* Trust in Media… still virtually non-existent* The Sycophants and Cynics Coalition* YouTube is

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137:44

377 "Racist LA, Racist Brooklyn, Deplorable America"

The Fifth Column ·

2022/10/13

The lads are all around the same table in New York City! And LA Times journalist Gustavo Arellano calls in at the top of the show to explain why the President is calling on four local politicians in L.A. to resign. * Gustavo explains Spanish racial slurs* Gustavo explains the racism of the LA City Council* This is the logical endpoint for dumb identity politics* We obsess over the race stuff at the expense of the naked corruption* Punching dogs for social justice* Matt is a cop-adjacent apologist*

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66:44

376 “All the (Unemployed) Young Dudes”

The Fifth Column ·

2022/10/07

I am usually among the most allergic to broad, immutable-characteristic-based analyses along the lines of “The Crisis of Men and Boys.” Some of this is the usual self-loathing—Screw guys, especially if they’re 54-year-old baseball fanatics from California!, etc. But also, probably due to the extended influence of the man formerly known as Casanova Brown, I have seen too often the fact-bending, anti-individualist and too often punitive ideological temptations of sorting humans into various pens and

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135:51

375 "You Don't Know What Fascism Is"

The Fifth Column ·

2022/09/30

* Only Fans is for Justice* Internet Experts* Not Even Not Fascism* Right Wing Extremists Everywhere* Blame The EU* What You’re Really Afraid Of* The Beyonce of Journalism* Call of the Wild* Lil Baby Offends* Democratic Illiberalism * Not That Big Lie* Don’t Call It a “Ban” (Even If It’s A Ban)* They Were Watching BaseballRecorded: 9.28.22Published: 9.29.22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

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133:11

374 "Walls Closing In (Again?)"

The Fifth Column ·

2022/09/24

* Toddler Pestilence* Death Defying Drives* Naked Pool Slide (are you “The Big Guy”* Russia, Ukraine, A wildly outdated PBX systems* Trump’s Devolving Legal Situationship* This Isn’t Political; Trust Me 🤞🏼* Russia Hacked the Women’s March?* Buses, Planes, and “Kidnapping” Stunts* Maybe Build that Wall Now?Recorded: 9.22.22Published: 9.23.22 This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wethefifth.substack.com/subscribe

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86:25

373 "Notes on White Privilege" w/ Adam Davidson and...

The Fifth Column ·

2022/09/17

Featuring:Thomas Chatterton Williams - Contributing Writer @ The Atlantic, Visiting Professor and Senior Fellow Hannah Arendt Center @ Bard College Adam Davidson - Co-Founder @ Planet Money, Contributing Writer @ The New Yorker*** “It amazes me that any straight, white dudes don't see the privilege we have. It's not subtle.” - Adam Davidson - via Twitter (8/20/22)Not a long tweet. And in the grand scheme of things, hardly an unusual opinion to encounter. Ordinarily, I fire off a reply —maybe

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92:58

372 "The Queen is Dead"

The Fifth Column ·

2022/09/09

So I broke into the Palace with a sponge and a rusty spannerWith the Right Honorable Matt Welch ensconced in a posh Beverly Hills hotel, prepping to shock and sicken America with yet another appearance on Real Time, Kmele and Moynihan got on the horn to discuss the death of corgi-loving colonialist Queen Elizabeth II, moronic “anti-colonialist” Twitter, Bannon’s perp strut, Moynihan’s unwitting mentor, phantom racist volleyball fans, and an unarmed man shot in the back who wasn’t unarmed or shot in

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82:45

371 "Triumph of the Shrill, Kmele's Thrill, America...

The Fifth Column ·

2022/09/02

Against a blood-red backdrop, President Biden gives an urgent campaign speech, warning that America is becoming semi-Nazi Germany, Donald Trump is partial Hitler, and our almost democracy is on the precipice of kinda revolution. The lads watch the speech and say lots of really smart things. But before they discuss the end of America, Kmele forces a conversation about Michael Jackson’s Thriller. He has a theory. Moynihan and Welch are…skeptical. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss

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