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PODCAST

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life

Dr. Lisa Damour

Parenting a tween or teen? Buckle up. Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life tackles the questions that keep parents up at night — academics, friendships, mental health, screens, meltdowns, and more. Every week, psychologist Lisa Damour teams up with a different expert to answer a real parent"s real question — no fluff, no judgment, just practical, evidence-based advice you can actually use. Dr. Damour and her colleagues also turn their attention to the emotional rollercoaster of raising kids — the

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

34:58

18: Can Online Socializing Go Too Far?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/12/08

What’s the limit for children socializing online? Many kids use social media to connect with their friends and as an escape from the monotony of this pandemic. Lisa walks us through the pros and cons of being online - from when getting lost in distractions can be a good thing to when digital technology can be detrimental to a child’s development. Lisa and Reena unpack the research on how best to take a break, especially when our kids (or we!) need to give the body a rest from stress hormones or

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34:25

17: How Do I Get My Kid To Open Up?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/12/01

How do you approach your child when you know they may be struggling but won’t open up? Lisa shares what she learned when she asked teens why they sometimes clam up around their parents. Lisa and Reena consider how much parents really need to know about the details of their kid's lives and the different ways to support children and help them process their emotions, even when they play their cards close to their chests. For parents who feel that their kid broke up with them, how do you regain their

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33:24

16: How Do You Handle Holidays in a Pandemic?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/11/24

Navigating the holidays under Covid has its own pressures. A season that should be marked by joy is being met with sadness and loss by so many. Lisa explains how taking time to mourn the temporary loss of our regular traditions can help us deal with, and move past, these emotions. Understanding that it won’t always feel this way can help children cope with uncertainty. The silver lining is that finding our way through intensely sad times helps to build resilience. For Children Everywhere - Feeding

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32:18

15: How Has the Pandemic Changed College Admissions?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/11/17

High school seniors are feeling the disruption of the pandemic as they tackle the college admissions process. How do we help them manage these uncertain times while they plan the next chapter of their lives? Special guest and New York Times bestselling author Jeff Selingo joins us to answer your questions about applying to college in a pandemic. Drawing on research from his brand new book, Who Gets In & Why: A Year Inside College Admissions, Jeff explains what he learned while embedded with three

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31:46

14: Dads & Daughters, Mothers & Sons: How Does Gender...

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/11/10

How do dads differ from moms when it comes to raising kids? Lisa unpacks the research on the different roles each parent plays while pointing out that there are no hard and fast gender lines in parenting and that you don't have to be a parent to play a powerful role in a child's life. Lisa and Reena talk about the dynamics that often unfold between dads and daughters and mothers and sons, especially in the context of adolescence. What do all kids want? They want to feel valued and admired. For

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32:55

13: How Do I Motivate My Kid to Do Homework?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/11/03

Students are finding it hard to focus on school in the midst of a pandemic. But laying a good foundation for how homework gets done is a skill that can be carried into adulthood. Lisa explains the psychological research behind two different kinds of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Is it appropriate to reward kids for doing their work? Lisa discusses what parents can do to help kids self-motivate and stay on task. Lisa's October column in The New York Times: How to Do School When Motivation Has

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30:31

12: What Can Kids Learn from a Tense Election?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/10/27

How can parents help children cultivate the ability to have tough conversations? How do we teach tolerance? Lisa explains the building blocks of civil discourse and the emotional and developmental skills that help kids engage peers constructively on the charged topics of politics and race. Laurel's Center for Research on Girls, civil discourse resources (scroll down for "Engaging in Civil Discourse" brief): https://lcrg.laurelschool.org/research/lcrg-research-briefs For Children Everywhere - iCivics

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31:27

11: Where's the Line Between Being Healthy and Having...

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/10/20

Eating concerns are an issue in many families, especially during the Coronavirus pandemic. What should a parent look out for? When is it time to be concerned? And what happens in the mind of someone who struggles with an eating disorder? A new survey by WETA/PBS Newshour finds that teenagers ranked body image as their top source of concern in the pandemic - with boys expressing this worry almost as often as girls. Lisa looks at the factors exacerbating this problem: social media, the wish for

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35:49

10: How Do I Parent When I Feel Like I’m Drowning?

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/10/13

Parents are faced with new pressures under Covid-19, and many of us are barely holding it together. When does having personal struggles translate into bad parenting? While it's important to be honest with our kids, Lisa explains what’s not okay for your kids to see and experience as you are working through a difficult time. Adding to the pressure, many parents have lost their supportive networks. We no longer see other parents during school pick-up or on the sidelines of soccer games. It may be time

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35:35

9: What to Do When Kids Don’t Listen: Advice for...

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/10/06

What really works when kids just won’t listen? Dr. Lisa explains there are two different mental states that parents should toggle between — warm parent and robot parent. She explains how cultivating a joyful relationship with kids puts money in the account from which parents write their disciplinary checks. If you're clashing with your teen, it’s never too late to turn things around. And those raising younger kids find out why it's often harder to parent age three than age two (hint: threes enjoy

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34:10

8: Apathetic, Cranky, Frustrated: Dealing with Kids'...

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/09/29

What should parents do when their kids are fed up and unhappy about school? Psychologists are witnessing the rise of emotional distress in children as they try to manage their disrupted academic year. Stress is processed in different ways by different children - some become anxious and sad, and some act out. How do you get kids to pivot from bad behavior? Dr. Lisa decodes how to identify and work through emotional distress. Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com Additional

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34:58

7: When Is Anxiety a Disorder? When Does Sadness...

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/09/22

Anxiety often serves as a normal and useful warning system - an emotional alarm that rings when something isn't right. Lisa discusses the difference between healthy and unhealthy anxiety, and explains how anxiety changes the activity of the heart and lungs. She provides tips on how to counter anxiety by harnessing the connection between the lungs and the brain. What is the difference between sadness and depression? When should we be concerned about the possibility of suicide? Lisa and Reena also

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32:43

6: Will the Pandemic Disrupt My Kid’s Social...

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/09/15

When should parents hit the panic button over their child’s social development? A mom writes in about her shy, introverted teen, wondering if her daughter has enough contact with friends. What key milestones might kids be missing as a result of the coronavirus pandemic? Lisa walks us through the development of social skills from infancy through college age, describing what we should keep an eye on and what we can do at home to help kids build the skills they need. Email your questions for Dr. Lisa

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30:16

5: Toolbox for Terrible Times: Managing Helplessness...

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/09/08

How do we get through the pandemic without losing our minds? Lisa offers parents four distinct tools to help ourselves and our children through these challenging times. The specific tools are "feeling with" children, supporting healthy psychological defenses, having the right words for painful emotions, and finding ways - like using humor- to rally when we're feeling down. Reena gets emotional talking about what a teacher did to prepare her students for the first day back. Also explained is a key

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29:58

4: Helping Kids Eat Well and Stay Active Under Covid-19

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/09/01

How do we encourage our kids to be active when they want to couch surf? Lisa tackles a listener’s question about a tween who has become sedentary during the pandemic. As much of the U.S. is getting back to school—often with distance learning—exercising, eating well, and maintaining routines now matter more than ever. Talking to kids about healthy eating comes with an unexpected lesson from a famous neighborhood—Sesame Street. Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com Additional

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31:05

3: How to Deal with Conflict While Stuck at Home

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/08/28

Conflict is unavoidable. Having a strategy can help. Divorce rates have increased in some countries under lockdown from Covid-19. When can a relationship not be repaired? How do we teach our kids to deal with conflict? Lisa covers the research on how to get out of an impasse, especially when parenting teens. Reena shares high school teacher Mrs. Jackson’s words on conflict resolution. How do we come to terms with negative emotions and hit the restart button? How do we get along when we're all stuck

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30:14

1: Parenting During a Pandemic

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/08/24

How can you tell when your child is not coping well during this Covid-19 pandemic? Dr. Lisa breaks down what to watch for in a child’s behavior. How much screen time is bad for a child’s brain? She also explains the term “learned helplessness.” Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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30:03

2: Back to School During Coronavirus

Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life ·

2020/08/24

Uncertainty surrounds this school year amid all the Covid-19 news. Dr. Lisa talks about what families need most as they juggle working from home and school. How do you respond when everything seems out of your control? Reena discusses some of the work-life tradeoffs that she has struggled to manage, including making the hard choice to go to Benghazi with her breast pump. Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com See

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