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PODCAST

The Overwhelmed Brain

Paul Colaianni: Relationship and Emotional Abuse Expert

Get to the root of emotional issues and learn the best way to relate to yourself and others by honoring your personal boundaries and making decisions that are in alignment with what"s most important to you. This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won"t be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

01:01:55

When you don't know who you are

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/09/13

Have you ever really learned who you are at a deeper level? Sometimes we walk around doing the things we're supposed to do, but rarely stop to figure out who is doing those things. In this episode, I read an email from a woman who never got a chance to learn who she is because of narcissistic parents telling her who she is all her life. Now that she's a wife and mom, she feels lost. If you're lost, it's time to find yourself. Visit for more episodes.

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53:43

What to do when the judgments come out of you

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/09/09

Are you more judgmental toward those you love? Today I talk about how your judgments can dissolve the love in your relationship and what to do to heal from being judgmental. The road to healing from judging others can be challenging, but the rewards are too rich to pass up. For more episodes, visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/

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59:30

Can there be peace and balance in an unbalanced...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/09/06

Some people have a strange way of balancing their lives. Some folks will pick up a hobby or hang out with friends. But others may take a darker route. They'll betray their partner or become addicted to drugs or alcohol. You may not see that as balance, but for some people, that's how they get it. There are of course healthier ways to balance your life & your relationships, but in this episode, we're going to talk about the less popular ones. For more episodes, visit

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01:16:09

Practicing non-confrontational ways to honor yourself

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/08/30

Sometimes honoring yourself around others feels confrontational. The reason is because you may not have honored yourself in front of certain people, so they may not have ever seen you show such self-respect and self-compassion before. If that's the case, you might have to ease others into this new you so that they have an opportunity to adapt. Sometimes this works, other times, you get to find out exactly what they really want from you. Visit for more episodes.

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01:09:11

What to do when you're going nowhere

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/08/23

If you're on a road that you believe is never going to end and never going to get better, what do you do? Should you just accept that's your lot in life and you should just accept it? Or do you take a leap of faith in a direction that leads to the unknown in hopes that life will get better? There is always hope, but sometimes it has to be pursued. Visit for more episodes

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01:01:38

The regrets and leftover emotions after someone dies

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/08/16

When someone we love passes, it leaves a hole in our heart and sometimes a lack of closure. It's that lack of closure that keeps us in feelings of guilt, regret and other emotions that we just can't shake. If you'd like to heal and move past those feelings and start living life again, this episode may help you achieve that. Visit for more episodes

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01:05:51

Do people think you're stubborn for honoring your...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/08/09

Honoring your boundaries isn't always easy. Some people will think you're being a jerk or stubborn. Some will even say that you're changing in a bad way even though it's good for you. Get clear on what you will and won't accept from others and your life will change for the better. visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/ for more episodes.

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01:12:54

Working through those old emotional triggers so that...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/08/02

Emotional triggers are what develop when you go through a traumatic event in your past, then the memory of that trauma stays with you and comes up at different times causing you to feel upset, hurt, or angry, which can affect your relationships and your life. Experiencing an emotional trigger is like PTSD and it needs to be healed if you want a higher quality of life. Visit for more episodes

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44:26

The intimacy that happens behind their back

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/07/31

Cheating and infidelity can be a sensitive topic. You could be a victim to it, you could be the cheater, or you could be the one seeing someone who is cheating on their partner to be with you. No matter what, there is almost always heartache on the other side. It doesn't mean there isn't healing, but there is almost always pain. In this episode, I receive a message from a woman who is seeing someone cheating on his wife to be with her, and I read another message from someone who was once the

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01:04:11

When loved ones resist the decisions you need to make...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/07/26

Sometimes you have to make a decision you know will have an impact on everyone else, even when your decision doesn't really affect them. They just make it their issue when it's really yours alone to deal with. In the first segment, I read a message from a transgender man who had to make a lot of hard decisions in life. In segment two, I talk about the hard decisions you might need to make in your life when you face resistance from those closest to you. Visit for more episodes.

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41:45

Depression or the blahs shouldn't be a way of life

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/07/23

If you've suffered depression and haven't found your way out yet, or you've found your way out but it still sneaks up on you, I share some strategies in this episode that may help you feel just a glimmer of something better. Visit for more episodes.

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01:10:24

Walking around as an adult with dysfunctions from...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/07/19

There are many dysfunctions that can be learned when you're growing up. Many come from trauma, neglect, or abuse, but others can come from seemingly innocent things too. We don't know the full impact our childhood had on us until we're older trying to relate to other people that aren't those we grew up with. In this episode, I read an email from someone who has learned a lot about her childhood dysfunctions and how she is finding her way out of them.

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46:52

Email grab bag: Getting ghosted while dating and when...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/07/16

I read two emails today. One on getting ghosted while dating. A young woman cannot find someone to continue dating because they keep disappearing! And the second segment is about forgiveness and wanting to hate but stopping yourself because of your values or spirituality. Visit for more episodes.

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01:05:21

Should commitments always be a forever thing?

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/07/12

Getting that job, buying that house, moving in with that person, promising to repay a debt... all commitments that that most of us go into with good intentions but is it required to keep them no matter what? Some commitments may need to be re-evaluated to make sure the same criteria still applies. Visit for more episodes.

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43:31

More on taking a stand to make changes in your life -...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/07/08

Taking a stand or protesting an injustice in your life isn't always about being aggressive. Often, it can be a peaceful objection that helps you move toward honoring yourself. Sometimes you have to take a bigger stand, even at the risk of loss. In this episode, I receive an email from someone who didn't appreciate my comments from the previous "Take a stand" episode so I talk about taking a stand even more today.

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01:00:55

Email grab bag: Purging awkwardness, the perfect...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/07/05

I read three emails that dive into awkward feelings when interacting with others, deciding whether to settle for someone who doesn't know what they want in a relationship, and someone who wrote to me saying that they are lonely and depressed. Lots of variety makes for a packed show. Visit https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com for more episodes.

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01:04:28

How to deal with the worries of today and the...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/06/28

The challenges of today seem greater than ever. Emotions are running high and we can become triggered easily. What do you do with all this pent up energy? If you're not using it to fight for a cause or help you out of a dangerous situation, it may be festering inside you causing you to feel pretty rotten. In this episode, I give you questions that you can ask yourself to get out of the whirlwind of negativity and into a calmer space inside you. visit for more episodes.

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59:08

I can't get you out of my head but I need to so I can...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/06/24

Obsessing about your ex wastes all your time and keeps you in a rut that you can't get out of until you take hard steps to disconnect from them completely. That involves a lot of will power and a lot of knowing that you are amazing, worthy and lovable. Visit for more episodes

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01:09:24

Dealing with mean family

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/06/21

There is a way to deal with mean family members. It may involve treating them like other people instead of family, which can help you disconnect from wanting to impress them or be loved by them. Or if you're not trying to do that, and you're just trying to get along with them, you might have to dive further into your bag of tools. Visit and for more episodes.

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01:01:39

Sometimes you have to take a stand to make a change...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/06/14

When you're in a situation that needs to change, but you're too afraid to take a stand or just hope it changes on its own, you may be waiting forever. Unfortunately, waiting for changes can often involve exposing yourself to a toxic environment, causing long-term emotional damage. If you want change, you might have to take a big scary step to get it. Visit and for more episodes on relationships

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