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PODCAST

The Overwhelmed Brain

Paul Colaianni: Relationship and Emotional Abuse Expert

Get to the root of emotional issues and learn the best way to relate to yourself and others by honoring your personal boundaries and making decisions that are in alignment with what"s most important to you. This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won"t be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

55:33

Your life's purpose does not have to be about you

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/06/10

When you can't find meaning and purpose in your life and you're not sure what your next steps are, and perhaps you're feeling antsy or anxious about those next steps, sometimes you have to think outside yourself and figure out what really brings you meaning. I keep the existential very practical in this episode, so maybe it's the trip you've been wanting to take for a while. Visit for more episodes.

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01:12:39

Can love enable those you care about to do bad behavior_

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/06/07

If you love someone, can you set them free to the point where they hit bottom? Sometimes the bottom is the only way back to the top. Tough love exists for a reason and sometimes it is the only way to see true change in someone who is being self-destructive. At that same time, it's important to define what love really is and if you are showing it and receiving it in a way that is healthy for everyone. It's not always easy to love, but it can be extremely rewarding when you have the right formula

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57:19

When people don't like you

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/05/31

Ever have someone just not take a liking to you? When that happens, do you brush it off and move on with your day? Or do you brood about it wondering what you did wrong and what you can do right to make them like you? Is it okay to not be liked? I talk about that and more in this episode. visit and for more episodes

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32:59

When you have to make a big decision about the...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/05/27

Sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone, you might not know where it's going or if it will even make it. I prefer taking action instead of waiting for things to happen. In this episode, I share some ways to take action when there's a decision to be made about the relationship. Visit and for more episodes on relationships

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01:03:55

Waiting for someone else to change so that your life...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/05/24

When you're doing the work, but the people around you aren't, and you are hoping, wishing and even praying that they "see the light" and make the changes that will be good for them, but they simply don't or won't work on themselves, what's your next step? That's the subject of today's episode. visit and for more episodes.

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58:05

The emotional aftermath of getting free of the...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/05/21

The emotional challenges you experience after breaking up with a narcissist usually go way beyond grieving the end of a relationship. You can be stripped of your ability to see life clearly from that point on unless you heal. In this bonus episode, I cover a lot of ground when it comes to dealing with what happens to your mind and body as you transition out of one of the more toxic relationships that exist. Visit and for more episodes about this and more subjects.

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55:52

Why you're not getting a second chance

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/05/17

When you get a second chance at a job, relationship, or anything that you wanted a do-over on, what's the best way to show up? Do you try to impress and show others how much you've changed? Or does that actually work against you? Visit for more episodes and check out for The SAFE System on Anxiety

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55:32

The toxic residue that lingers inside you from people...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/05/10

When someone treats you badly, you can hold on to the emotions of that moment... forever. That diminishes your feelings of fulfillment and satisfaction and can linger with you even on your happiest days. It's time to address those emotional triggers that sneak up on you and ruin your day. Websites: Difficult Relationships:

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55:38

Learning that your adult child suffered child sexual...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/05/07

What is the right thing to do or say when your adult child tells you about their sexual abuse? I read an email from a mom who recently learned that her adult daughter was abused by another child when she was young. I bring my girlfriend Asha, an advocate for the prevention and healing of child sexual abuse, into a conversation about this topic for an honest, heartfelt discussion & guidance for the mom. Prevention & healing websites: The Overwhelmed Brain website: The Love and Abuse website for

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01:16:01

When your top values aren't being met, the rest of it...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/05/03

When your top level values are being met in your relationships, the rest of it usually works out. When they aren't, you suffer and the relationship often fails. Every relationship, whether it's platonic, romantic, or family, contains components that make up what we value. Trust contains confidence and honesty whereas distrust contains fear and stress. I talk about that and read a few emails making for a variety show today. Get more TOB at Learn how to deal with difficult relationships at

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01:04:06

Know and stand by your standards for the healthiest...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/04/26

We're all in relationships of some sort, but how happy those relationships are will depend a lot on what you're willing to allow and unwilling to accept. What you allow into your relationships sets the tone for the rest of the time you are with these people. If you allow toxic behavior, life will feel pretty miserable. Relationships require you to have some courage to stand up for what is right for you. Visit for more content on behavior and relationships. Visit if you are having difficulty in

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58:31

When you desperately want an explanation or closure...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/04/19

You know that feeling you get when someone does something that surprises you in a bad way but they don't tell you why? When you aren't given the reason for their behavior, you may walk around with that unfinished business feeling . It's what happens when you really want to move on from an event in your life but just can't seem to get past the fact that you don't know why it happened. It's a tough place to be, but it needs to be resolved if you're going to move on and enjoy life again. Visit

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01:03:04

How to feel better about yourself

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/04/12

Carrying around dysfunctions from childhood makes all your interactions harder and your life tougher. Add to that anyone that says anything critical to you, and any negative feelings you have about yourself are amplified. It's time to access a part of yourself that helps you feel good about yourself - maybe even great.

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27:51

New relationships should not create worry about what...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/04/08

Long-distance dating can be more challenging than doing it in person, but should it contain anxiety, worry, and being completely unsure if it's even a relationship at all? Someone wrote to me and asked me about anxiety while dating during the pandemic. However, perhaps the answer has nothing to do with the Corona virus and more to do with the person she is trying to connect with.

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01:00:55

Getting comfortable letting go of what no longer...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/04/05

Can you get back up after a big fall? If you're struggling to do so, your foundation may not be as stable as you'd hoped. The components that make up your life: Your job, your family, your home, the city you live in, your car, etc, all have some sort of meaning or value to you. When you start to let go that which no longer serves you, you start to free yourself from the toxic components. What do you value and what gives you heartburn every time you think about it? Sometimes removing one small thing

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01:08:46

Making sure toxic people and toxic environments don't...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/03/29

What do you do when peace and happiness are just around the corner, but getting there is full of toxic obstacles that you feel powerless against? There may be priorities and values in place that need to be changed, but that's not all. When you don't make the changes you need to make, you end up holding on to resentments and building a wall around your heart so that you connect less and are more unhappy in general.

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01:09:32

When social anxiety, fear, and loneliness keep you...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/03/22

Social anxiety and feeling awkward in social situations is more normal than you might think. Not everyone is a gregarious extrovert that can start a conversation with anyone. If you're dealing with social anxiety, fear of judgment from others, or loneliness, and you feel like you're not living life to the fullest, this episode may be what gets you through the challenges. Get the SAFE Empowerment System for Social and Generalized Anxiety at quietbegins.com

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45:12

When life seems like an endless series of dead ends

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/03/15

There's a path out of misery that some people don't take because of fear. But when the misery never ends, why not take that path? The gain is usually far greater than the loss. I talk about that path in this episode. I begin today's episode talking about the coronavirus and what you can do when you don't know what to do.

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01:01:18

The one question to ask yourself when you can't...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/03/08

There are many situations that show up in our lives that challenge us. Sometimes we are able to act authentically and have our truth motivate us to take the right steps. Other times, fear drives us to hold back what we really want to say or do, prolonging our challenges and keeping us from moving forward. The choices you make in crucial, challenging moments such as this can define your entire life, let alone predict your future level of happiness.

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01:01:38

Overcoming a general distrust of people and the...

The Overwhelmed Brain ·

2020/03/01

If you are cynical about people and feel vulnerable and exposed around most people you meet, perhaps it's time to address that in yourself so that you walk around in confidence. It takes courage and risk, but not at the cost you may think.

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