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PODCAST

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Hello, I"m psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves.Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday"s you"ll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday.The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

30:49

Real Parenting - Parenting Consistently When You're...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/03/17

This is episode is brought to you as a result of a listener email. We are going to talk about real parenting - the messy, dirty, ugly, crying, shouting, despairing trials which confront us - often it feels, on a daily basis!! Whether you’re feeling totally knackered, as though you’re failing. Feeling as though you are throwing random threats out when your children make poor choices and then not being able to follow through - maybe even feeling as though your children are ganging up on you - being

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26:32

Mental Health Is A Whole Family Project

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/03/10

Societally we juggle more than our parents ever did when they were raising us.We are a generation raised on the notion we could have it all - a great marriage, fulfilling careers, wonderful children, holidays, a big house, nice cars, after school paid activities, tutoring, the best schools, and so on and so on.Add social media, rolling news, and the need to be constantly 'on' and it's no wonder we have the mental health issues we have today. Whilst some children will need the support of a

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32:55

How to Talk to Children About Scary World Events

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/03/03

In this episode I want to tackle the complex subject of how do we have conversations with our children about scary world events.Now if you are listening to this episode in March 2022 you may find this relevant for explaining to children about what is happening with Ukraine and Russia. However, the advice I will give is relevant across a number of issues, whether it’s climate change, wars, riots, unrest or widely publicised prosecutions. Anything which bursts our children’s bubble of the world being

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19:01

If Only I Knew

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/02/24

This is episode takes a slightly different tack to parenting - looking at it from the perspective of “If only I knew!”It takes the approach if I knew then what I knew now - how would I parent differently? I believe quite strongly that it’s never too late to start afresh, we genuinely cannot screw up our kids, if we approach parenting consciously - constantly reflecting back on choices we’ve made and why we made them - and then making changes when we need to.So if you’re an expectant parent with your

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31:05

Back-Chat and Pushing Boundaries

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/02/17

In this episode we are talking about back-chat and pushing boundaries. I get asked about this a lot as I know it’s something we can really struggle with as parents.We usually associate this type of behaviour with the teenagers; thirteen, fourteen-year-olds being rebellious and pushing every boundary. Yet what I know to be true is this pattern of behaviour is not limited to any age. It’s much more to do with what is happening in our children’s internal world than something which is specifically

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24:34

Children’s Willpower: A Battery Which Needs Recharging

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/02/10

Children’s willpower is like a rechargeable battery; it starts the day full and slowly drains away to nothing, before sleep recharges it for the next day.How quickly your child’s battery runs flat depends in part on their character, how much their willpower has been used throughout the day, and whether they have regularly visited a recharge station.In this episode I will share with you my five simple ways to ensure your child’s battery has enough charge to get them through their day.Plus, I answer

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26:57

Help! I’ve Completely Lost It with My Children

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/02/03

I want to regularly answer your most burning questions as part of my Help! Question. So here is our first. Help!! I’ve completely lost it with my children!!We have all beenthereright?? You know, those times when we become some sort of mum/dad zilla - unleashing anger, fury, and frustration in a way which almost feels like an out of body experience, and you just can’t seem to stop yourself. In this episode I will share my5 stepplan of what to do once it’s happened, and I will share a free resource to

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26:07

Play - A Child’s Work

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/01/27

This episode is all about the importance of play for our children.I am often asked about how much time school-aged children should have to play each day. My answer is always the same…I believe play is the single most important activity for children to engage in, each and every day, for at least one hour.The research evidence is overwhelming in documenting the power of play for children’s emotional wellbeing, social development, AND academic achievement.I willsharewith you my five top reasons why you

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33:31

Friendships - The Highs and Lows

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/01/20

This episode is all about childhood friendships; the high and lows, ins and outs and how we can help our children navigate them better.As humans we are social animals - we want to belong, we want to be accepted, be part of a collective and friendships serve that purpose for us. When it comes to school - friendships are the reason children stay happy and bounce into school. When they are struggling with friendships it can create a whole host of other issues.These issues occur across all ages from

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33:37

Navigating Uncertainty Successfully

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/01/13

I want to talk about all things related to uncertainty. You might instinctively think about the global pandemic, yet there are so many other types of uncertainty our children, teens, and young adults will need to learn to navigate – changing school, applying to university, moving house, forming new friendships.  Some people have a high tolerance to uncertainty, whilst others worry excessively and become paralysed with fear. I will share my top five strategies to help navigate uncertainty more

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44:52

Creating a Positive Learning Environment with Clare Ford

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/01/06

In this episode I am joined by Clare Ford as we talk about how we can create a positive learning environment for our children to succeedacademically. I know this is a topic I get asked about all the time!We talk through the common challenges we face as parents - how do we encourage our children to learn without nagging!!Clare is anaward winningeducation expert with over 20 years’ teaching experience, an international best-selling author and Founder ofSwitchedON!, the cutting-edge global education

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27:40

Back to School

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2021/12/30

This episode I talk about all things Back to School! We’re talking about preparing our children’s mindsets, cultivating curiosity, dealing with back-to-school anxieties and creating good habits.This episode is for you whether you have a 5-year-old or a 20-something your old going back to University / Work!Here are the highlights: (00:49) Creating the right habits(04:29) Tailor aback to schoolplan for your child(09:03) Sleeping patterns go out of the window during holidays(14:45)

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29:30

Why We Need to Talk to Our Kids About Porn NOW

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2021/12/23

This episode is all about what can often feel like the ‘icky’ subject of pornography, and why we need to have that conversation with our children NOW!!A recent study by The Children’s Commission in the UK has revealed over half of children will be exposed to online pornography before they leave primary school!! Some as young as 7 years old!Whilst this data is from the UK, the exposure is online, and so is likely to follow similar trends globally. As parents we have to act, and we have to act now!

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21:02

I Want, I Want, I Want... Avoiding Entitlement at...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2021/12/16

Iwantto talkabouthowwecanavoidentitlementatChristmas -youknowwhatImean-whatfeelslike theconstant“Iwant, Iwant, Iwant”Whetherthiscome from a place ofcomparison- so and sohaschocolatesfor breakfast intheiradventcalendar, to long list of demands for Christmaspresentsyoucan’tafford, orfeelsexcessiveandbeforeyouknowityou’rebeingsuckedintoexcesswhenyouknowthat’snotwhatyouwantto do.Here are the highlights: (00:34) Don’t be sucked into excess at Christmas(03:52) What does Christmas mean to you?(09:03) Let’s

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33:01

Stop Nagging and Get Children Listening

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2021/12/09

I know we can all relate to this one! This week’s episode is all about how we can stop nagging and instead encourage our children to listen more, do more, and take on more responsibility. I can imagine a lot of you will be thinking this is an impossible task but I can reassure you there is a better way.I will talk you through my 3 simple steps and then gift you my How To sheet.It’s not a quick fix way, but a way which could genuinely be transformational for your family. It just has to start with

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22:33

Becoming Our Best Selves

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2021/12/02

I want to dedicate this episode to you as parents, first and foremost. We will do a separate episode for how you can integrate these principles for your children.Trust me you are absolutely not going to want to miss this. I want this episode to be an inspiring one, one which I hope you will refer back to time and time again.Whilst the context behind what I am going to talk you through is very much linked to the New Year - the principles are something which you can quite genuinely do any time of the

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29:05

Helping Children Find Their Voice and Respect the...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2021/11/25

Children who find their voice have a strong sense of who they are, are able to stand up for themselves, can express their views without fear, are respectful of others, accept differences, and as a result are well-liked by their peers. I believe, as parents, we should all be striving to raise children with a voice as all these character traits are key to living an adult life confidently and compassionately.In this podcast episode I share my top five strategies and a great free resource to help you

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28:43

Fear - How It Stops Our Children from Being Their...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2021/11/18

Broadly speaking I would put fear into two categories. The fear which is real and the fear which we perceive.Perceived fear occurs when we encounter a situation which feels overwhelming. We imagine all manner of scenarios which don’t bode well. We are in no real life threatening or immediate danger but our body reacts as though it were. Our fight, flight or freeze mechanism is activated.This type of fear holds us and our children back from reaching our full potential. So, in this episode I get super

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30:00

Social Media - What We Need to Wise Up to As Parents

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2021/11/11

Some of you may know that on 28th October 2021 I wrote across all my social media accounts that I had found my continued use of social media platforms untenable with my passion for children's wellbeing.I want this episode to be an honest conversation about social media so we can make more informed decisions about their use for our families.As parents we should know the dangers these platforms pose for our children’s emotional wellbeing and feelconfidentwe can help equip our children make better

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27:08

How to Support Children Through a Separation

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2021/11/04

This might be something you are right in the middle of, something you think might be coming, or you are simply listening because you want to be there for a friend or someone in your family. Either way I am glad you’re here and I hope you find it useful.Let’s start by taking away any guilt or judgement you might be harbouring. No one embarks on the process of separating from a partner lightly. It comes with a great deal of considered thought and guilt too. Quite often the relationship has not been

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