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PODCAST

Paper Cuts

Have you SEEN the state of the papers today? PAPER CUTS has. In our thrice weekly podcast, some of Britain’s sharpest commentators and funniest comedians come together to look at the madness, the strangeness, the obsessions, and – occasionally – the brilliance of our national press. Host Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalists and comedians like Jonn Elledge, Grainne Maguire, Jacob Jarvis, Ava Santina, Jacob Hawley, Marcus Brigstocke, Coco Khan and many more. Illustrations by Modern Toss:

news news commentary

All Episodes

30:08

Inside the Brand scandal – Anatomy of a scoop

Paper Cuts ·

2023/09/18

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Brand on the run. Comedian Russell Brand is accused of sexual assault by four women. Brexit’s back, alright! Keir Starmer promises a major rewrite of UK-EU relationship if Labour wins the election. Plus, reading between the lines – celebrities aren’t writing their own memoirs! Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and comedian Gráinne Maguire. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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27:08

Apocalypse almost! Russian pilot nearly blasts RAF...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/09/15

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Bad Altitude! A rogue Russian pilot tries and fails to shoot down an RAF jet. Osballs! Ed Balls and George Osborne’s new podcast launches. Why? Plus Aliens vs Proof and Data – Nasa claims it cannot explain some UFO sightings – and vows more research. Jacob Jarvis is joined by journalist Marie Le Conte and comedian Fergus Craig. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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43:15

Biden’s bad boy drama – plus, just say no to dogs!

Paper Cuts ·

2023/09/13

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: But his emails! Bitter Republicans launch impeachment inquiry into Biden, due to allegations linked to his son’s business dealings. Plus paws for thought – should we really have pets? And, pension tension – the papers react to the triple lock coming under threat. Jacob Jarvis is joined by journalist Rob Hutton and comedy writer Gráinne Maguire. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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35:07

Hi, spy! China taps up toff – plus Liz Truss vs. the...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/09/11

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Small trouble from big China. Spy accusations fly around Westminster. Plus, how to wreck an economy! Liz Truss is writing a book on her time in office. And how I met your mother – we discuss the new mum and dad dating show. Miranda Sawyer is joined by writer Alex von Tunzelmann and comedian Fergus Craig. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/papercutsshow Illustrations by Modern Toss

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37:33

Prison break! Manhunt after jail fail – plus Captain...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/09/08

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Jailhouse rocked! Terror suspect Daniel Khalife is still on the run after escaping Wandsworth on the underside of a lorry. Darth vapers! Mass disposable vape waste sparks calls to ban them. Plus, Captain Tom’s daughter in hot water – more charity donation questions arise. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and stand-up comic Fin Taylor. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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35:36

Gillian Keegan blasts schools – plus workers smash...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/09/06

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Straight to the head teachers office! Education secretary Gillian Keegan continues to rage over RAAC. Get off your backsides, or else. The government's back to work drive removes welfare from one million people. Plus Bulldozer in a China shop. Construction workers knock a big hole into the great wall of China to cut down commute. Miranda Sawyer is joined by author and screenwriter Alex von Tunzelmann and comedian Fergus Craig. Follow Paper

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40:53

You can’t handle the roofs! – plus ranking Britain’s...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/09/04

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Roof Ache! Crisis grows as more buildings are affected by crumbly concrete. Hold my Keir, Starmer’s big interview rules out tax rises and hints at a reshuffle. Plus, Inspect Your Gadgets – what weird inventions has Britain birthed lately? And remember your wellies! Burning Man festival flooded with mud. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Robert Hutton and comedian Matt Green. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter:

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37:02

School's out, National Service is in – plus...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/09/01

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Back to home school! The government shut down schools because of unsafe building materials. Plus Get Some Discipline! Conservative MP Penny Mourdant thinks National Service is a good idea. And Eat, Sleep, Score! Football Star Erling Haaland reveals his unusual bedtime routine. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Marie Le Conte and stand-up comic Fin Taylor. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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32:31

Flights fiasco blamed on French – plus boffins take...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/08/30

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Plane unfair! As Air traffic control experiences further turbulence, the papers figure out who’s to blame. Plus – floody hell. The government's house-building rules outrage environmentalists. And pour science: research into beer goggles leaves the British bitter. Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedy writer Gráinne Maguire and journalist Jonn Elledge. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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36:35

Spanish Kiss Kick-Off – plus Suella’s big ideas

Paper Cuts ·

2023/08/29

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Air Traffic out-of-control. Thousands impacted in bank holiday travel chaos. Plus A spaniard in the works. The Spanish FA President’s mother goes on hunger strike to fight the allegations against her son. And Suella’s new groove: Braverman’s had some brain waves while Sunak’s been away. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Rob Hutton and stand-up comic Ria Lina. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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36:27

WAGNER GONNA DO ABOUT IT? Prigozhin plane death –...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/08/25

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: LOOK BACK IN WAGNER. Putin’s rival dies in a suspicious plane crash, Putin sends his “sincere condolences”. Plus: ARRAIGNING ON HIS PARADE? Trump surrenders in Georgia indictment. And THE CHARITY SHOP CURSE. A portrait of a young girl keeps being resold because it’s too spooky. Miranda Sawyer is joined by author and screenwriter Alex von Tunzelmann and stand-up comic Fin Taylor. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter:

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39:26

Up for a Womb Share? – plus How Much Sex to Work Off...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/08/23

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: The world’s first womb transplant. Who’s the papers’ placenta of attention? Plus, The Sun tells us exactly how much sex you need to burn off the calories from your favourite foods. Naked cooking in The Times. And the Telegraph tries to blame the Lucy Letby case on the NHS. Miranda Sawyer is joined by Marie Le Conte of the New Statesman and comedian Fergus Craig to cast an eye over today’s papers. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter:

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37:09

This is Planet Earps! Lioness heartbreak – plus...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/08/21

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: The Lionesses miss out out on World Cup glory and the papers are here for the national trauma. Is the press turning the Lucy Letby horror into grotesque entertainment? Vladimir Putin’s latest enemy is the Moon. And all the headlines that fit. Miranda Sawyer is back from her hols! Comedian Grainne Maguire and journalist Jonn Elledge join her for the 21st Century paper review. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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34:14

Coach Poach: England men’s team to steal Serina?...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/08/18

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Will Sarina Wiegman really replace Gareth Southgate as England men’s manager – or are the press on a wind-up? Museum Artefacts Man joins Pub Fire Couple as this summer’s most fascinating fishy story. And why the papers daren’t do “sexy A-Levels” pics any more. Marie Le Conte of the New Statesman and journalist Jonn Elledge join Rob Hutton to pull the papers to pieces. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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40:13

Shock spy bust in London – plus Randy Rupe’s new squeeze

Paper Cuts ·

2023/08/16

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Bulgarian spies in Harrow? It’s Le Carré On Spying as the papers go to town on three people arrested for alleged espionage. Plus: dirty deeds down under as the Australian press tries to sabotage the Lionesses. And Murdoch’s got a new girlfriend. What attracts women to 92-year old billionaire Rupert? Author and screenwriter Alex von Tunzelmann and comedy writer Jason Hazeley – co-creater of Philomena Cunk and the Ladybird Books for Grown-Ups series

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34:25

Silly season spectacular — plus, will Kane play for...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/08/14

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Summer news panic sets in! How will the papers respond? With emergency tales about Harry Kane, the appalling French, and how Labour is turning the NHS Welsh (?). Plus, the exam grades nightmare… and who won FixTheHeadline? Jonn Elledge of the New Statesman and stand-up comic Athena Kugblenu join Rob Hutton for today’s newsprint throwdown. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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34:58

Record Breaker Rishi, Money Mayhem – Plus, Boring...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/08/11

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Rishi Sunak breaks some records, but he probably won’t want any certificates… Plus, mortgage price wars, car insurance boosts – and Wilko goes the way of Woolies. The papers have all the money mayhem. Also the Daily Star has a new enemy. It’s… Belgium? Rob Hutton is joined by historian and screenwriter Alex von Tunzelmann and comedian and writer Suchandrika Chakrabarti. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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38:47

Who’s behind the data dump disaster? – Plus Mystic...

Paper Cuts ·

2023/08/09

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Two massive data breaches threaten Britain’s elections and Northern Ireland’s police officers. Who’s behind the data dumps? Plus, can A.I. write the pop music of the future? Google and Universal Music think so. But what about The Star’s A.I. psychics? And the Telegraph has a woke-gloat over vegan burger company Beyond Meat’s misfortunes. Stand-up comic Fergus Craig and Marie le Conte of the New Statesman join Andrew Harrison to fight them on the column

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36:34

Johnson packs his pockets, again – plus Help the Rich!

Paper Cuts ·

2023/08/07

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Guess who earned more than half of the side hustle money that MPs pulled in last year? Suella Braverman searches for somewhere even worse than Rwanda to send illegal migrants. And the papers are awfully worried about how rich people will do in the Cost of Living crisis. Rob Hutton is joined by stand-up comic Gráinne Maguire and journalist Jonn Elledge for your Monday newsbinge. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter: https://twitter.com/papercutsshow Instagram:

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31:19

Oil Fun and Games – Plus On Your Bikes Oldies

Paper Cuts ·

2023/08/04

We read the papers so you don’t have to… Today: Sunak’s home (well, one of them) is invaded by protesters – and the media loves to hate it. Plus, over-50s are being told to get on their bikes and deliver takeaways for cash – sparking rage against the youth from the Mail. And, how much Maccies is too much? Answers on a postcard addressed to Mark Zuckerberg. Rob Hutton is joined by historian and screenwriter Alex von Tunzelmann and comedian and writer Athena Kugblenu. Follow Paper Cuts: Twitter:

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