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PODCAST

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Hello, I"m psychologist and parenting expert Dr Maryhan and this is How Not To Screw Up Your Kids, the podcast for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves.Follow now for twice weekly episodes - on Monday"s you"ll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday.The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any

kids & family parenting

All Episodes

34:47

Raising Independent Children

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/04/20

Doesn’t every parent want an independent, self motivated, resilient child or teen who takes ownership of their learning (and revising), their bedroom, their behaviour and their choices??Sound too good to be true? It’s really not but the secret is starting early and please don’t worry if you’ve already got a teen - all is not lost!!Independence breeds confidence and confidence leads to resilience. What distinguishes those who are the most successful in life is their ability to pick themselves up,

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44:29

Listener Questions

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/04/13

This episode I am doing something a little different. I am answering 4 listener questions which cover ADHD, Autism, Teen Friendships, Death and a Fear of Flying. Your children or teens might not be struggling with the exact same challenges but I can guarantee you will get some very useful tips from listening. So here goes..Here are the highlights:(01:10) I think my son has ADHD(16:54) My daughter is being excluded by her friends(25:42) Talking to my child about death(33:24) My child has a fear of

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40:29

The Secrets to Raising Happy Children

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/04/06

I want to talk about what might possibly feel like the elusive art of raising happy children. Everywhere we are reading about children and teenagers struggling with their mental health and yet there are a vast number of children growing up happy. What’s the secret?? Sometimes it is hard to get the balance right between what makes our children happy and what’s actually in their best interests. This episode is not about always taking the line to happiness but I do think happiness and what’s right are

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29:30

A Letter to All Ambitious Mothers

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/03/30

In this episode I talk about being a mother and having personal ambitions. Wanting something for you which feels worthwhile striving for and yet comes with a whole host of guilt about whether you are failing at motherhood because of your ambitions. At 52 I no long worry what anyone thinks of me, my drive, or my ambition. I am unapologetically me, and by the way – I know I am a great mother!!What I know now to be true has always been true, I just wish I could have told my younger self and spared

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30:26

Parenting the Child You Have and Not the Child You...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/03/24

You know that time when you are expecting and you’re lost on those dreams of what your child will be like? The interests you think they are likely to have because of you and your partner’s interests and passions. The qualities you feel they will inherit and how they will utilise them. Maybe you are both musical and you imagine them growing up to have an appreciation of classical music, as you do. Maybe you are super sporty and you imagine which sports they will choose to take up or maybe you are

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30:49

Real Parenting - Parenting Consistently When You're...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/03/17

This is episode is brought to you as a result of a listener email. We are going to talk about real parenting - the messy, dirty, ugly, crying, shouting, despairing trials which confront us - often it feels, on a daily basis!! Whether you’re feeling totally knackered, as though you’re failing. Feeling as though you are throwing random threats out when your children make poor choices and then not being able to follow through - maybe even feeling as though your children are ganging up on you - being

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26:32

Mental Health Is A Whole Family Project

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/03/10

Societally we juggle more than our parents ever did when they were raising us.We are a generation raised on the notion we could have it all - a great marriage, fulfilling careers, wonderful children, holidays, a big house, nice cars, after school paid activities, tutoring, the best schools, and so on and so on.Add social media, rolling news, and the need to be constantly 'on' and it's no wonder we have the mental health issues we have today. Whilst some children will need the support of a

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32:55

How to Talk to Children About Scary World Events

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/03/03

In this episode I want to tackle the complex subject of how do we have conversations with our children about scary world events.Now if you are listening to this episode in March 2022 you may find this relevant for explaining to children about what is happening with Ukraine and Russia. However, the advice I will give is relevant across a number of issues, whether it’s climate change, wars, riots, unrest or widely publicised prosecutions. Anything which bursts our children’s bubble of the world being

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19:01

If Only I Knew

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/02/24

This is episode takes a slightly different tack to parenting - looking at it from the perspective of “If only I knew!”It takes the approach if I knew then what I knew now - how would I parent differently? I believe quite strongly that it’s never too late to start afresh, we genuinely cannot screw up our kids, if we approach parenting consciously - constantly reflecting back on choices we’ve made and why we made them - and then making changes when we need to.So if you’re an expectant parent with your

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31:05

Back-Chat and Pushing Boundaries

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/02/17

In this episode we are talking about back-chat and pushing boundaries. I get asked about this a lot as I know it’s something we can really struggle with as parents.We usually associate this type of behaviour with the teenagers; thirteen, fourteen-year-olds being rebellious and pushing every boundary. Yet what I know to be true is this pattern of behaviour is not limited to any age. It’s much more to do with what is happening in our children’s internal world than something which is specifically

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24:34

Children’s Willpower: A Battery Which Needs Recharging

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/02/10

Children’s willpower is like a rechargeable battery; it starts the day full and slowly drains away to nothing, before sleep recharges it for the next day.How quickly your child’s battery runs flat depends in part on their character, how much their willpower has been used throughout the day, and whether they have regularly visited a recharge station.In this episode I will share with you my five simple ways to ensure your child’s battery has enough charge to get them through their day.Plus, I answer

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26:57

Help! I’ve Completely Lost It with My Children

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/02/03

I want to regularly answer your most burning questions as part of my Help! Question. So here is our first. Help!! I’ve completely lost it with my children!!We have all beenthereright?? You know, those times when we become some sort of mum/dad zilla - unleashing anger, fury, and frustration in a way which almost feels like an out of body experience, and you just can’t seem to stop yourself. In this episode I will share my5 stepplan of what to do once it’s happened, and I will share a free resource to

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26:07

Play - A Child’s Work

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/01/27

This episode is all about the importance of play for our children.I am often asked about how much time school-aged children should have to play each day. My answer is always the same…I believe play is the single most important activity for children to engage in, each and every day, for at least one hour.The research evidence is overwhelming in documenting the power of play for children’s emotional wellbeing, social development, AND academic achievement.I willsharewith you my five top reasons why you

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33:31

Friendships - The Highs and Lows

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/01/20

This episode is all about childhood friendships; the high and lows, ins and outs and how we can help our children navigate them better.As humans we are social animals - we want to belong, we want to be accepted, be part of a collective and friendships serve that purpose for us. When it comes to school - friendships are the reason children stay happy and bounce into school. When they are struggling with friendships it can create a whole host of other issues.These issues occur across all ages from

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33:37

Navigating Uncertainty Successfully

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/01/13

I want to talk about all things related to uncertainty. You might instinctively think about the global pandemic, yet there are so many other types of uncertainty our children, teens, and young adults will need to learn to navigate – changing school, applying to university, moving house, forming new friendships.  Some people have a high tolerance to uncertainty, whilst others worry excessively and become paralysed with fear. I will share my top five strategies to help navigate uncertainty more

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44:52

Creating a Positive Learning Environment with Clare Ford

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2022/01/06

In this episode I am joined by Clare Ford as we talk about how we can create a positive learning environment for our children to succeedacademically. I know this is a topic I get asked about all the time!We talk through the common challenges we face as parents - how do we encourage our children to learn without nagging!!Clare is anaward winningeducation expert with over 20 years’ teaching experience, an international best-selling author and Founder ofSwitchedON!, the cutting-edge global education

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27:40

Back to School

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2021/12/30

This episode I talk about all things Back to School! We’re talking about preparing our children’s mindsets, cultivating curiosity, dealing with back-to-school anxieties and creating good habits.This episode is for you whether you have a 5-year-old or a 20-something your old going back to University / Work!Here are the highlights: (00:49) Creating the right habits(04:29) Tailor aback to schoolplan for your child(09:03) Sleeping patterns go out of the window during holidays(14:45)

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29:30

Why We Need to Talk to Our Kids About Porn NOW

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2021/12/23

This episode is all about what can often feel like the ‘icky’ subject of pornography, and why we need to have that conversation with our children NOW!!A recent study by The Children’s Commission in the UK has revealed over half of children will be exposed to online pornography before they leave primary school!! Some as young as 7 years old!Whilst this data is from the UK, the exposure is online, and so is likely to follow similar trends globally. As parents we have to act, and we have to act now!

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21:02

I Want, I Want, I Want... Avoiding Entitlement at...

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2021/12/16

Iwantto talkabouthowwecanavoidentitlementatChristmas -youknowwhatImean-whatfeelslike theconstant“Iwant, Iwant, Iwant”Whetherthiscome from a place ofcomparison- so and sohaschocolatesfor breakfast intheiradventcalendar, to long list of demands for Christmaspresentsyoucan’tafford, orfeelsexcessiveandbeforeyouknowityou’rebeingsuckedintoexcesswhenyouknowthat’snotwhatyouwantto do.Here are the highlights: (00:34) Don’t be sucked into excess at Christmas(03:52) What does Christmas mean to you?(09:03) Let’s

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33:01

Stop Nagging and Get Children Listening

How Not to Screw Up Your Kids ·

2021/12/09

I know we can all relate to this one! This week’s episode is all about how we can stop nagging and instead encourage our children to listen more, do more, and take on more responsibility. I can imagine a lot of you will be thinking this is an impossible task but I can reassure you there is a better way.I will talk you through my 3 simple steps and then gift you my How To sheet.It’s not a quick fix way, but a way which could genuinely be transformational for your family. It just has to start with

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