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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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1:32

Packing the court

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/24

After years of contention, Congress passed legislation to expand the size of the Supreme Court and the president signed it. The Court immediately tried to review the law and declare it unconstitutional. But the House filled the airwaves with meaningless impeachment hearings, and Senate and President ignored the Supreme Court, nominating Associate Justices and holding confirmation hearings. The opposition party protested the move, doing all they could to disrupt the meetings and votes. When the new

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1:34

The hangings

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/23

We went to the town square for the public hangings. By the time we got there, the crowd was shouting DEATH DEATH DEATH! Three hooded and jumpsuited figures were on the platform, ropes around their necks and tied to a bar. Nobody knew who they were. Or what they had done. A solder walked up a set of stairs to the platform, and shoved each figure forward, and they fell, and the ropes went taut. One of them kicked for a minute, then went still. Shit ran down from each of their pant cuffs to the

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1:25

I won’t see you in Hell

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/22

Victor St. Vincent, my nemesis. Before I stomped on his hands and let him fall from the bridge to his death, he said: "I'll see you in Hell!" But now that I'm in Hell, I haven't seen Victor. I've seen Stalin and Hitler. I've also seen Gandhi. It's the shit they don't tell you in school, the stuff with his nieces, that did him in. And me, I did worse things. So much worse. Victor, well, he was a pretty decent guy. Which is why he kept trying to stop me. Hey, did he end up in the other place?

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2:28

Possums

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/21

The thing I like most about working from home is being able to look out the window and watch the possums wander around. Sure, my work office had a nice wide window, but the odds of possums wandering around outside 8 floors up are rather slim. And any circumstances that would lead to possums outside that work window aren't good, ranging from hallucinations to some sort of "possum hurling" criminal on the loose. Or someone dropping possums from the roof. I think of these things when I'm at home. But

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2:28

On a schedule

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/20

My mom had Alzheimer’s and dementia. Or maybe only one of them. But I think both, because the Alzheimer’s made her forget about the dementia and the dementia made her forget about the Alzheimers. Both made her forget to take pills. I’m got her one of those newfangled robots to dispense pills on a schedule. She put a cozy over it like a tea kettle or a toaster. Plus she would never remember to replenish the pills. And the nurses were so used to handing out pills, they forgot too. Now it dispenses

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12:05

Weekly Challenge #956 – Rose

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/18

Richard Serendipidy Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is AUG 25 PICK TWO Role model, Beep, Curious, No annual contract, Conference, Ballet Yeah, I screwed up the posting and didn't notice until Saturday. I'm on fumes at this point. RICHARD - I love you - She was found with a single red rose between her fingers. The latest in a killing spree that had claimed nine victims in just two days, every one of them clutching a perfect, long-stemmed red rose. And we weren't even

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1:36

The commandment

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/17

The Second Commandment says not to make graven images or likenesses of things in heaven above, earth beneath, or in the water. But what exactly is heaven above? Does that mean Heaven, or does that mean the air? Scholars and rabbis pondered this for years. "It probably means the air," the Head Rabbi concluded. "But, Yahweh's a smart cookie, and would say air if He meant it." The Head Rabbi also happened to like clouds and birds. So, paintings of clouds and birds were fine. And naked women on

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1:16

The dumb dream

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/16

The lot across the street used to be a credit union. After that, they made it an ATM outlet. And now, it's an empty lot. Parking for the truck that hauls in wrecked beemers and benzes. Or a place for cops to write tickets. I had a dream of buying it, razing it, and making it a park. But that's a dumb dream. Because people would just bring their dogs to shit in it. When they're not letting them shit on the apartment complex sidewalks. Some carry plastic bags and pick up after. Some are

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11:07

Weekly Challenge #955 – Cat’s Pajamas

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/11

LizzieRichard Serendipidy Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is Rose TOM With red pizza pattern They used to be my pajamas, now they are the Cat’s pajamas. They were a goodwill purchase ages ago. I think it’s the color that alph-cat is drawn to. If the basket lingers for a mere moment the cat will dig down to the pizza pajamas. It isn’t good enough to be on the pajamas, the cat must be inside of one leg, while her head is poking out. When caught she eyeballs me

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1:21

Trackpad

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/10

Ever glide your finger across the trackpad and the cursor doesn't move? Tap it. Double tap it. Three finger wipe. Nothing at all. You type on the keyboard and text doesn't appear, and you're all DAMMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT and type all kinds of angry shit on your keyboard and nothing's appearing. You switch it on and off, still nothing. Then you realize you're using your work keyboard and trackpad, not your personal keyboard and trackpad? And you look over at the insane crap you've sent to your team's

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1:13

Bus Stop

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/09

I don't like to drive Downtown, so I take the bus to the train, which takes me to the ballpark. The transfer is at Houston Community College, and the stop is across from a bar. I check my bus system app for times, and I've got 30 minutes to wait for the next bus. So, I head into the bar, get a coke, and relax in a leather chair. Others sit at the bus stop, in the heat, on an uncomfortable concrete bench, or standing around. My watch rings, I pay my tab, and go outside for the arriving bus.

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2:01

Hood over her head

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/08

The new girl wore one of those whole body cloaks and long gloves, and a hood over her head. She had a note from her parents. Bobby says it was something about a skin condition. "You're so full of shit," said Lisa. "It's religious." Instead of gym, she read books in the library. And she never ate lunch with us or rode the bus. A black van dropped her off and picked her up. Bobby said he'd try to see what she looked like. Five minutes later, we found him in the hall. Breathing heavy, eyes glazed, pale

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1:28

Cemetery tango

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/07

The protests started over White actors playing Hispanic roles."Only Hispanic people can play Hispanic roles," said The Hispanic Actors' Alliance. So, Hollywood consented. Similar protests erupted over Chinese roles, German roles, Fat roles, Gay roles, and every other demographic imaginable. Casting for movies, shows, plays, and commercials became more complicated. "Only real witches can play witches!" demanded the Witches Acting Coven. "And the depiction better be a positive one!" Things got out of

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1:29

Out on the lake

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/06

Every time Lacey went for figure skating lessons, she'd watch the boys at the other end of the rink with their hockey lessons and wonder. "I want to try that," she said. Her mom was horrified, but her dad said that Lacey's teeth were coming in crooked anyway, why not get the rink paying for new ones. She was fast and could turn on a dime. Some moose crashed her into the boards, and she was out cold for a minute. The team dropped her after that, but now and then she still played pickup games out on

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1:24

Not a clue

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/05

Tickets to the event had been sold out since May. Somehow, Holly scored a pair, and asked her friend Tina to come along. "What is it for?" asked Tina. "The best show ever!" said Holly . "But what is it?" Tina asked. Holly didn't know. She looked at the tickets, but they just had the date, the time, and the venue on them. She couldn't remember how she got them. Even her credit card statement didn't give a clue. "We'll go and find out," Holly said. When the day came, they got out of the Uber and

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17:28

Weekly Challenge #954 -Now and Then

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/04

Ian Lisa Lizzie Richard Serendipidy Norval Joe Tura Tom Planet Z The next topic is Cat’s pajamas IAN The Ruby-Colored Stone Dozing off he recalled happier, innocent days. The little pebbles in the shallows of the stream had appeared so beautiful, like jewels, shiny and colorful. He would pick ones he liked and take them home. Once, a lovely ruby-colored one caught his eye. None other compared. He would take it and cherish it forever, this one only. But like all

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1:14

The Little Thief

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/03

In the first grade, the classroom had pegs and cupboards along one wall with a false wall separating the area from the classroom. We'd put our coats, mittens, scarves, and snow boots over there. We didn't have backpacks or books to take home. All the work was done in class. Every so often, a kid would bring something in and leave it in a cupboard. I swear, I didn't steal anything. I just liked to move things from one cupboard to another. Cover them with a cap. The kid caught with the stuff would

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1:10

The Poet of the Lawn

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/02

Day after day, the old poet sat on his rock and mumbled to the grass. The grass grew, and a man on a big riding mower would cut the grass down. The riding mower ejected the cut grass out the right side, and the man made a point to drive by the poet and his rock so the mower sprayed him with grass as he passed. The old man's poetry was a lot more angry on lawnmowing days, but he refused to move from his rock. One day, the riding mower ran over a glass bottle. And the poetry ended.

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1:51

George 2.0

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/08/01

Every time something dumb happens in the news, I wonder what George Carlin would have said about it. He's been dead for a while. But that's no excuse. So, I gathered up transcripts and tapes of every standup routine, interview, and article about him and fed them into an AI language model. With every batch of data, the model grows smarter and smarter. Until one day, I fed the model all of the news feeds, and it finally responded: "This is an abomination," the model said. "George Carlin is dead." And

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1:16

Five minute break

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/31

I'm a technical writer, and I work on multiple development teams. Each team has its daily, weekly, and monthly meetings. I try to manage my time to get work done in between them. One team tends to hold meetings constantly, and the meetings go very long. So long, they schedule breaks during the meetings. "Five minute break," says the meeting coordinator. One developer says if we don't hold a break, we can get done five minutes sooner. Even though they'd just work that extra five minutes, too. But

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