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PODCAST

No Crying In Baseball

When Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you"ll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman"s best friend, and there"s no crying in baseball.

sports baseball

All Episodes

33:57

A Capella Means No Shirt, Right?

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/10/29

The “Calma” in the Nationals clubhouse is so much more delightful than the toxic culture over at the Astros. And that’s not just two Nats fans talking, The Assistant GM of the Astros has been fired, and MLB is investigating belligerence, inappropriate behavior, and outright lies perpetrated by the Astros organization. Never should have brought that Osuna guy on to begin with. And don’t try to fake the news in a room full of journalists. We rant.Jose Andres, chef, humanitarian, and

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44:34

Dead Balls, Baby Sharks, and the Elusive Shotski

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/10/22

In an unexpected role reversal, Pottymouth steers us away from shotskis and towards responsible behavior and making amends. Patti, meanwhile, says “balls” too much, and narrowly avoids a shotski situation at a college hockey game.Our postseason boyfriends past and present play some sexy defense (Michael Brantley), and hit some key homeruns (DJ LeMahieu and Jose Altuve). Brantley also hits a scary foul into the dugout, sending a paramedic to the hospital, because dugouts do not, and never

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29:46

We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Bandwagon

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/10/15

Part-way through the AL and NL championship rounds, we welcome bandwagon fans. Come on board, we’ll make room for everyone and don’t let anyone tell you you don’t belong. It’s our job to try to keep you, not disregard you for not being born into a baseball-loving family. Besides, bandwagon fans are the most fun to explain superstitions and rituals to. Same seats! No he CANNOT shave that terrible beard. Yes, I wore that shirt last time too.We thank Dodgers’s fans for their disregard of our

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39:48

That F*%#ing Chop

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/10/08

Haven’t had a rant like this for a while. Pottymouth goes off on that fucking Tomahawk Chop, which got personal for Cardinal’s pitcher Ryan Helsey, but if that is what it took for you to see the problem, what the heck is wrong with you? You cannot simultaneously give your fans foam tomahawks and say you are taking steps to eliminate the chop. Side note, Patti swears for real.Everybody was mad at Ronald Acuna Jr. for not one but two instances of admiring a home run and what turned out not

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35:46

We Say “Groin” Way Too Much

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/10/01

In the calm between the regular season and the start of the postseason, we review, regroup, revile, and rejoice. Yadier Molina gives us the last bench-clearing conversation of the season. Our baseball boyfriends past and present clean up with the batting titles. Tim Anderson, Anthony Rendon, Mookie “Pookie” Betts, and future BF Pete Alonzo do us proud. Patti reveals that catcher Tony Wolters has been her secret Rockies BF since July, and played an end of season spoiler. Pottymouth’s

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34:26

Chasing History with Pete, Ronald, and Nick

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/09/24

With one week left in the season, is there enough time for Pete Alonso to break the record for home runs by a rookie? Can Ronald Acuña, Jr. steal those last three bases to join the coveted 40-40 club? Will Nick Castellanos hit those last two doubles for a season high of 60, not seen since 1936? Add that to the two Central division champions and all the wildcards to be decided and it’s a heck of a week for baseball fans.Eugenio Suarez breaks the record for homeruns by a Venezuelan player in

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33:59

Holy Crap, it’s the 100th Episode!

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/09/17

So many guys are out for the rest of the season. Some from random and heartbreaking injury, and some from preventable mayhem. We mourn the loss of Christian Yelich and ponder the opportunity that Shohei Ohtani’s knee surgery provides to improve his command of Spanish language cursing. We give a hearty WTaF to Kyle Crick’s “I punched my own teammate over music choices” injury and Michael Pineda’s “over-the-counter weight loss pills seemed like a good idea at the time” suspension. The

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33:40

Wilson Ramos stole that base fair and square.

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/09/10

After 3364 plate appearances, Wilson Ramos finally stole a base. Ronald Acuña Jr. stole the very same base to join the 30-30 club. Who gets the base? It’s a boyfriend smackdown.Ketel Marte's slams earns player of the week and proves Pottymouth right. Matt Olson earns some boyfriend love from Patti, even though she’d prefer his Oakland team would please lose just enough for Cleveland to cement that wildcard spot.Aaron Barrett reminds us that it’s hard not to be romantic about baseball.

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35:58

Christian Yelich Shows Us a Little Something Extra

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/09/03

Christian Yelich just keeps racking up the points as Patti’s Brewer’s boyfriend. Not one bit of this week’s discussion touches on his baseball prowess. There’s plenty of other characteristics on which to focus, many of which are on display in the ESPN Body Issue. He also ups the humor game with his walk-up song salute to a twitter critic, and we are here for it. We cross-train a little with the Body Issue, focusing on paralympic athlete Scout Bassett, and why these photos of athlete’s

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44:05

Dammit Hamate

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/08/27

Patti, Pottymouth, and Big Papi all took kids to college last week, and everyone lived through it.Players Weekend gave us some fashion statements we loved, and some we really didn’t appreciate. Mookie Betts honoring Big Papi with his cleat design, and Aaron Judge having all 200+ Little League World Series players sign his cleats? Definitely in the plus column. Tributes to Tyler Skaggs? We’re here for it. But those monochrome, unreadable unis that made some players look like umpires and

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42:10

Put Us in, Paige, we’re Ready to Play

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/08/20

Patti and the Pottymouth may be updating resumes after our conversation with Paige Hegedus, Manager, Special Events and Affiliate Programming for Minor League Baseball. Paige oversees the official employment service of Minor League Baseball, which organizes job fairs and networking opportunities at baseball’s Winter Meetings, conducts recruitment events on college campuses, and develops outreach and ongoing support systems for women and other underrepresented populations. Considering a

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40:18

“When Guys Shirts Come Off…”

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/08/13

All the young dudes, okay, many young dudes, get some attention from Patti and the Pottymouth this week. Our Atlanta Boyfriends, Ronald Acuna Jr. and Ozzie Albies, are tearing it up. Bo Bichette (not Boba Fett), of the Blue Jays, is so shiny we aren’t even talking about Vlad Jr. Patti takes a field trip to the Single A Ironbirds to scout first-round draft pick Adley Rutschman and is not disappointed. Pottymouth’s Nationals BF, Juan Soto, can’t stop hitting them out of the park. These young

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35:41

Copa de la Diversión: The Hot Fun Cup

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/08/06

Patti and the Pottymouth finally attend a Copa de la Diversión game with the Cangrejos Fantasmas. Once more, in English: we went to a Bowie Baysox game on a “Fun Cup” day, celebrating Hispanic culture, where the Baysox played as their alter-ego, the Ghost Crabs of the Chesapeake. And was Patti ever surprised to find that one of the Ghost Crabs was her Orioles boyfriend, Cedric Mullins, who was bumped down to AA to “get his Mojo working.”In other Boyfriend news, old guy makes history. 39

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35:38

It’s always Shark Week with Gerardo Parra

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/07/30

Much to Pottymouth’s delight, Patti finally embraces “Baby Shark.” Not as a song, of course, but as a builder of fan unity. This leads to a whole slew of rules, suggestions, and musings about fan participation (the Stretch is compulsory, but leave your Chop at home). Patti’s Cleveland BF Jose Ramirez is on a tear, making that early-season pick of league MVP not so ridiculous. Pottymouth’s Os BF Jonathan Villar is knocking it out of the park, showing off sexy defense, stealing bases and

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27:54

Gaylord Perry’s Moonshot

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/07/23

Patti and the Pottymouth celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Moon landing by sharing the story of Hall of Fame pitcher Gaylord Perry and one of the greatest coincidences in baseball history. You just can’t make this stuff up. Patti tries to add the story to her collection of anti-DH evidence, but timing is on Pottymouth’s side as the 2019 Hall of Fame induction ceremony, which happened moments before recording, included Edgar Martinez. So there.The announcement of the Heart and Hustle

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34:29

We Actually Rooted for the Yankees

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/07/16

The Pulaski Yankees, that is. Patti and the Pottymouth road-tripped again, this time to Pulaski, VA (as Patti says, go to Roanoke and then keep going). After her interview in Episode 77, “Puig Fuels the Fracas,” GM Betsy Haugh invited your hosts to enjoy Ag Night at Calfee Field. She promised cows, and cows there were. Betsy was gracious enough to chat with us again after our day at the Best Rookie-level Ballpark in the country to check in on her first year as GM, almost halfway through

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26:56

Party at Napoli’s

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/07/09

Patti and the Pottymouth fangirled in Cleveland over the All-Star Break. Patti cried meeting Omar Vizquel (“I love Omar”) and Pottymouth stammered during the No Crying in Baseball / Mike Napoli sandwich photo. Mike “Human Rain Delay” Hargrove demonstrated his moves. Your hosts danced at a Killers’ show and provided structural support to their fan base. Evidence of this and more on all of our social media sites. We tried to pull silver linings out of a lot of terrible situations this

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29:16

Don’t Pull a Puig in London

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/07/02

Patti and The Pottymouth are packing their bags for All-Star Weekend in Cleveland, the land of Patti’s birth. There’s a happy dance for Anthony Rendon finally making the team and a check-in on who we are looking forward to seeing in the Big Game. The Cleveland Team and MLB are investing long-term in the community — it pays to host the All-Star Game. But before we leave, there’s a grooming segment. Fernando Tatis, Jr. is coming along nicely, thank you very much. Russell Martin is the second

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46:05

The White Sox and The Nationals are in First Place

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/06/25

Breaking up is hard to do. Cleveland broke up with Leonys Martin, and so must Pottymouth. Patti and the Nationals say goodbye to Trevor Rosenthal, he of the formerly infinite ERA. The Chicago White Sox and the Washington Nationals are the first to take the next step in extending protective netting. In the same week that another fan seated just beyond the dugout netting in Dodger Stadium was hit in the head by a foul ball, this one off the bat of the hottest hitter in the league, Cody

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25:51

Pottymouth Votes for Mike Trout. Because of Weather.

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/06/18

When did stealing home get to be a thing? Current boyfriend Leonys Martin just did it, and so did former boyfriend Elvis Andrus, and even never-gonna-be-a-boyfriend Rougned Odor. We can’t get enough of that.Patti can totally get enough of home runs, however. The pace is scary, and too much of a good thing is boring. The ball is juiced and she can prove it with just one statistic. Baseball science. Er, math. Pottymouth’s David Ortiz update includes mystery and intrigue, a surprisingly

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