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PODCAST

No Crying In Baseball

When Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you"ll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman"s best friend, and there"s no crying in baseball.

sports baseball

All Episodes

35:58

Christian Yelich Shows Us a Little Something Extra

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/09/03

Christian Yelich just keeps racking up the points as Patti’s Brewer’s boyfriend. Not one bit of this week’s discussion touches on his baseball prowess. There’s plenty of other characteristics on which to focus, many of which are on display in the ESPN Body Issue. He also ups the humor game with his walk-up song salute to a twitter critic, and we are here for it. We cross-train a little with the Body Issue, focusing on paralympic athlete Scout Bassett, and why these photos of athlete’s

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44:05

Dammit Hamate

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/08/27

Patti, Pottymouth, and Big Papi all took kids to college last week, and everyone lived through it.Players Weekend gave us some fashion statements we loved, and some we really didn’t appreciate. Mookie Betts honoring Big Papi with his cleat design, and Aaron Judge having all 200+ Little League World Series players sign his cleats? Definitely in the plus column. Tributes to Tyler Skaggs? We’re here for it. But those monochrome, unreadable unis that made some players look like umpires and

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42:10

Put Us in, Paige, we’re Ready to Play

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/08/20

Patti and the Pottymouth may be updating resumes after our conversation with Paige Hegedus, Manager, Special Events and Affiliate Programming for Minor League Baseball. Paige oversees the official employment service of Minor League Baseball, which organizes job fairs and networking opportunities at baseball’s Winter Meetings, conducts recruitment events on college campuses, and develops outreach and ongoing support systems for women and other underrepresented populations. Considering a

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40:18

“When Guys Shirts Come Off…”

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/08/13

All the young dudes, okay, many young dudes, get some attention from Patti and the Pottymouth this week. Our Atlanta Boyfriends, Ronald Acuna Jr. and Ozzie Albies, are tearing it up. Bo Bichette (not Boba Fett), of the Blue Jays, is so shiny we aren’t even talking about Vlad Jr. Patti takes a field trip to the Single A Ironbirds to scout first-round draft pick Adley Rutschman and is not disappointed. Pottymouth’s Nationals BF, Juan Soto, can’t stop hitting them out of the park. These young

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35:41

Copa de la Diversión: The Hot Fun Cup

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/08/06

Patti and the Pottymouth finally attend a Copa de la Diversión game with the Cangrejos Fantasmas. Once more, in English: we went to a Bowie Baysox game on a “Fun Cup” day, celebrating Hispanic culture, where the Baysox played as their alter-ego, the Ghost Crabs of the Chesapeake. And was Patti ever surprised to find that one of the Ghost Crabs was her Orioles boyfriend, Cedric Mullins, who was bumped down to AA to “get his Mojo working.”In other Boyfriend news, old guy makes history. 39

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35:38

It’s always Shark Week with Gerardo Parra

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/07/30

Much to Pottymouth’s delight, Patti finally embraces “Baby Shark.” Not as a song, of course, but as a builder of fan unity. This leads to a whole slew of rules, suggestions, and musings about fan participation (the Stretch is compulsory, but leave your Chop at home). Patti’s Cleveland BF Jose Ramirez is on a tear, making that early-season pick of league MVP not so ridiculous. Pottymouth’s Os BF Jonathan Villar is knocking it out of the park, showing off sexy defense, stealing bases and

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27:54

Gaylord Perry’s Moonshot

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/07/23

Patti and the Pottymouth celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Moon landing by sharing the story of Hall of Fame pitcher Gaylord Perry and one of the greatest coincidences in baseball history. You just can’t make this stuff up. Patti tries to add the story to her collection of anti-DH evidence, but timing is on Pottymouth’s side as the 2019 Hall of Fame induction ceremony, which happened moments before recording, included Edgar Martinez. So there.The announcement of the Heart and Hustle

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34:29

We Actually Rooted for the Yankees

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/07/16

The Pulaski Yankees, that is. Patti and the Pottymouth road-tripped again, this time to Pulaski, VA (as Patti says, go to Roanoke and then keep going). After her interview in Episode 77, “Puig Fuels the Fracas,” GM Betsy Haugh invited your hosts to enjoy Ag Night at Calfee Field. She promised cows, and cows there were. Betsy was gracious enough to chat with us again after our day at the Best Rookie-level Ballpark in the country to check in on her first year as GM, almost halfway through

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26:56

Party at Napoli’s

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/07/09

Patti and the Pottymouth fangirled in Cleveland over the All-Star Break. Patti cried meeting Omar Vizquel (“I love Omar”) and Pottymouth stammered during the No Crying in Baseball / Mike Napoli sandwich photo. Mike “Human Rain Delay” Hargrove demonstrated his moves. Your hosts danced at a Killers’ show and provided structural support to their fan base. Evidence of this and more on all of our social media sites. We tried to pull silver linings out of a lot of terrible situations this

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29:16

Don’t Pull a Puig in London

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/07/02

Patti and The Pottymouth are packing their bags for All-Star Weekend in Cleveland, the land of Patti’s birth. There’s a happy dance for Anthony Rendon finally making the team and a check-in on who we are looking forward to seeing in the Big Game. The Cleveland Team and MLB are investing long-term in the community — it pays to host the All-Star Game. But before we leave, there’s a grooming segment. Fernando Tatis, Jr. is coming along nicely, thank you very much. Russell Martin is the second

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46:05

The White Sox and The Nationals are in First Place

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/06/25

Breaking up is hard to do. Cleveland broke up with Leonys Martin, and so must Pottymouth. Patti and the Nationals say goodbye to Trevor Rosenthal, he of the formerly infinite ERA. The Chicago White Sox and the Washington Nationals are the first to take the next step in extending protective netting. In the same week that another fan seated just beyond the dugout netting in Dodger Stadium was hit in the head by a foul ball, this one off the bat of the hottest hitter in the league, Cody

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25:51

Pottymouth Votes for Mike Trout. Because of Weather.

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/06/18

When did stealing home get to be a thing? Current boyfriend Leonys Martin just did it, and so did former boyfriend Elvis Andrus, and even never-gonna-be-a-boyfriend Rougned Odor. We can’t get enough of that.Patti can totally get enough of home runs, however. The pace is scary, and too much of a good thing is boring. The ball is juiced and she can prove it with just one statistic. Baseball science. Er, math. Pottymouth’s David Ortiz update includes mystery and intrigue, a surprisingly

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35:26

Keuchel and Kimbrel Keep Their Beards

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/06/11

The Nationals do Pride right, but Patti may still write a letter about rainbow jerseys. Big Papi, David Ortiz, heads to Boston for medical care after the shooting in Santa Domingo. Elvis Andrus gets in one more head rub, and a bathrobe, as the Rangers retire Adrian Beltre’s number.The long strange trip of this year’s Free Agency season has finally come to an end. It only took until the Draft. Craig Kimbrel signs with the Cubs thanks to the thriftiness of having Zobrist on the restricted

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41:22

Thoughts, Prayers, and Protective Netting

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/06/04

Is it drafty in here? Pottymouth 1) overviews the MLB draft process in which >1200 high school and college boys get a shot at their dreams, 2) plays the tiny violins for the Orioles yet again, and 3) explains why this is the week Dallas Keuchel and Craig Kimbrel will finally get signed.Patti goes on a rant just this side of PG-13 about protective netting. Yet another child was sent to the hospital after being struck by a 90 mph line drive foul ball. Tragic, and easily preventable. Stop

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31:34

Barack Obama is the Best Baseball Boyfriend

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/05/28

Former President Barack Obama hits a first-pitch double, completes a touchdown pass, buys organic produce and recognizes greatness in the children attending after-school programs at the Nationals Baseball Academy. Damn, he sets the Baseball Boyfriend bar high. Christian Yelich cross-trains hard, attending a Milwaukee Bucks game with some Green Bay Packers and chugging arena beer like a native son. Josh Bell is hitting homers hard and often. Patti’s Phillies BF Jean Segura went 16 games into

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39:24

Ian Kinsler Out-Pottymouths the Pottymouth

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/05/21

Today’s baseball math includes Victor Robles + Matt Grace = Patti, and Patti + Matt Grace = Gerardo Parra. Yes, it is a birthday / no GoT spoilers show. Matt Olson proves the hamate is the appendix of the hand. Leonys Martin says thank you and Ian Kinsler says F-you, much to Pottymouth’s delight. SI typecasts Patti, with Jason Heyward on her fantasy team. Your hosts propose expanding “hit for the cycle” to include mathematical and wildcard cycles. We celebrate Diamilette Quiles as she

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38:26

Gerardo Parra is Our New Best Friend

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/05/14

Where was Michael Brantley when Patti had a flat tire? Turns out he was rescuing other strangers in distress closer to Minute Maid Park, as boyfriends do. Pottymouth’s old Dodger BF Kiké Hernandez works some magic for her new BF Justin Turner. Addison Frickin’ Russell is back. The Panda = Mudcat+Bees. Albert Pujols historic RBI mark set off a new set of NCIB Rules, this time on catching baseballs in the stands. Gerardo Parra announces his arrival with the Nats with sexy defense and a slam

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42:01

Getting Fancy with the Stats

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/05/07

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome Jenn Rubenstein of @QueerFancyStats to talk using gmLI, wOBA, and spreadsheets in the service of good. Through Jenn, the mad baseball skills of MLB homophobes generate donations to local LGBTQ organizations, as do successes of exemplary community leaders like National’s closer Sean Doolittle. This week’s cross-training segment looks at gender, and gender equity, from court decisions about Olympian Caster Semenya’s testosterone level to the #forthegame

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45:30

Carter Kieboom and Vlad, Jr.: The Kids Get to Play!

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/04/30

Two #1 prospects got the call this past weekend and Vladimir Guerrero, Jr. and Carter Kieboom did NOT disappoint. The Youthquake hit Nats Park as Juan Soto and Victor Robles joined Kieboom in homering in the same game, making history. Patti and the Pottymouth check in on their predictions a month in, and learn they are Not Good At This and perhaps should have thought about Cody Bellinger some more. In the occasional NCiB rules segment, we offer helpful hints on dressing for ballgames, home

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44:33

All Flip, No Drill: Standing with Tim Anderson

No Crying In Baseball ·

2019/04/23

Patti and The Pottymouth set up the context around the Tim Anderson fracas/ruckus/bruhaha. Can’t ignore that he’s the only African-American player on the White Sox. Shockingly, we come out on the side of Kids Today, and agreeing with Trevor Bauer. We welcome very special guest Emily Jaenson, General Manager of the Reno Aces, who tells us what it takes to run a Triple A affiliate. By the end of the show, our to-do list includes shopping for “Los Corazones de Reno” swag, calling Southwest

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