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The 100 Word Stories Podcast

Laurence Simon

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1:34

Between the wars

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/10

In between the world wars, the Germans were prohibited from developing military aircraft and vehicles.As if. They developed mail planes that could be quickly converted to bombers, and airliners that could also serve as troop transports. The British were painfully oblivious to these dual-purpose vehicles, to the point that Germans were blatantly building tanks and calling them milk trucks and school busses. "Oh, did I say this was a school bus?" says a grinning German diplomat, leaning on a tank. "I

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1:51

In the cool air

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/09

It's still in the 70's at night, but hopefully it will get colder soon.I sleep better when it's colder. Air conditioning isn't quite the same as actual mild weather. Nor is one of those cooling blankets. Nothing quite like sipping a glass of milk, laying back in a recliner outside, and taking a nap in the mild chill of a fall evening. Watching the starsat night, but it's good to have a patio umbrella in case it rains. The rain is a nice sound to fall asleep to. Real rain. Even with recordings, I

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1:46

Extra Extra Rollercoaster

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/08

My weight rollercoasters a lot, so I go from Extra Large shirts to Extra Extra Large shirts and back again. And my underwear and shorts waist sizes fluctuate with the shirt sizes. Whenever I change sizes, I try to keep the stuff from the other size in storage, knowing I'll be that size again eventually. But at some point, I get frustrated, and I dump all those clothes in a donation bin. That's when I get back to my workout routine and lose the weight. Or give up my workout routine, and gain it

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14:54

Weekly Challenge #950 – Sponsor

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/07

LisaLizzie Richard Serendipidy Tura Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is Screen RICHARD Go fund me I'm looking for a sponsor. It's a great business opportunity, and you can reap fantastic rewards for a modest outlay, say a few thousand to begin with? I'll admit the details are a bit sketchy at the moment, but give me a little time - and some startup cash, of course - and I'll flesh out all the details for you. Trust me, you're not going to regret it. You

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1:49

Delivery speedy

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/06

My grandmother had a saying: "A watched pot never boils." And back then, they didn't have television, so I guess they did a lot of watching pots. These days, I say "A watched deliveryman never delivers." He's been five stops away forever. What's taking him so long? What's with all those other stops? When you bring up the delivery tracker from Amazon, that dot never seems to move on the map. Unless you watch him through the scope of a sniper rifle. And shout "I am watching you through the scope of a

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15:20

Smart Alec

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/04

Alec Baldwin, like so many actors, attended many of Donald Trump's parties and stayed at his hotels. But when politics heated up, Alec bit the hand that fed him canapes, and attacked the presidential candidate. Portraying him on Saturday Night Live and hyperbolizing every statement made by Donald. One especially obtuse statement was about being able to shoot a person on the streets of New York and getting away with it. Which he never did, but of course the sketches played this up. Years later, Alec

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1:38

Til Death

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/03

"I do," said Bobby and Kathy. "Til death do you part," said the preacher. It wasn't a bad marriage. Wasn't great, either. So, years later when Bobby's heart stopped, Kathy assumed the marriage was over. The paramedics used CPR to bring Bobby back, but by then, Kathy was a free woman. "We'll take him to the hospital, okay?" said the paramedics. "Fine, whatever," said Kathy. She put her hands behind her back and took off her rings. As the paramedics put Bobby on a stretcher and loaded him into the

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1:11

Saget

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/02

Bob Saget the comedian died alone in an Orlando hotel room after performing standup for two hours. He was found by hotel staff after he failed to check out in the morning. It seems he'd checked out long before then. If only he'd been fucking around with a hooker or two, they'd have been there to call an ambulance, go down the hall for the defibrillator, or something that could have helped. If they had actually slept with him after all the fucking, of course. Although, being hookers, they could have

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4:48

Three bushels of corn

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/01

The monsters and I made a deal. They get three bushels of corn a week. And all the thieves they can eat. Considering how much the thieves stole, three bushels a week is a bargain. Plus, the monsters give me everything the thieves had. Wallets, Boots. Cell phones. Nose rings. That kind of stuff. The clothes I sell to Goodwill. Well, the clothes that don't fit. The stuff I sell at pawn shops. Because I don't have receipts. "Didn't we just eat you?" say the monsters. "I'm just wearing their stuff," I

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10:35

Weekly Challenge #949 – PICK TWO Semantics, Cheers,...

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/07/01

Lizzie Richard Serendipidy Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is Sponsor TOM Absolute Torch and Twang Crystal Fret was a county western singer in the early 40s. A solid voice but wasn’t graced with a lot of luck. Never could rise to the top of the game. Or for that matter the middle of the game. She was the girl on the third mic. Repeating the reframe. Crooning on the long note. Was on a few Your Hit Parade, even made an appearance on the Grand Ole Opper. Crystal

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1:35

Duke

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/29

Your parents don't love you.Or your brother. So, you'll stay with us. We'll raise you. We'll teach you right. We'll make you successful. We'll make you popular. We'll open doors for you. But you can't be you anymore. Anna Marie is dead. You're Patty now. Drink this. Take these pills. Talk like this. Dress like this. When people ask you questions, say these things. Your name up in lights... Patty, not Anna Marie. And you'll be on Broadway. You'll be on the big screen. You'll be on the small

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1:23

Team Mascot

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/28

Every day, a possum visits my patio. And I put out cat food for it. The possum sniffs around, eats the food, and then wanders off. During a pointless argument and project delay, I pointed my laptop camera out the window during a work meeting. There were a lot of questions about the possum. And then the team adopted the possum as our mascot. And they made a logo with the possum. Just as the project was falling apart. I think it was the first and only time that the team actually accomplished something

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2:24

Security cameras

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/27

The first rule of security cameras is that if you don't see security cameras, then the cameras are well-hidden. However, the second rule of security cameras is to make them visible so that people know they are there. Then there's the third rule: it's cheaper to put a sign up that says there are security cameras, even though there aren't any security cameras. Because if people can't see a security camera, they know they must be well-hidden. Still, it pays to look, because if you're like me, someone

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2:44

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/26

So, I made a LinkedIn account. Connected with a bunch of coworkers and people I went to school with. And then, I let it sit for a few years. Every now and then, someone requests a connection. Or there's a bunch of people congratulating me for a work anniversary. Then there's the waves of connection requests by coworkers. Usually, that a sign something bad is coming. They ask me for recommendations. So, I agree, and then the prospective employer calls me, I tell them the truth: "You know what? I

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4:31

I love a parade

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/25

Long ago, I was in a Fourth of July Parade in Deerfield, Illinois. We were doing the Boston Tea Party, dressed up in Indian war paint and throwing sturdy carboard boxes at the crowd that were painted to look like tea chests. Helpers would gather and stack the boxes back up for us to throw again. Celebrating cultural appropriation and defamation for patriotic purposes. Tossing those boxes, we bonked a few people on the head. One of the metal clips came loose from a box and tore up a few people's

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1:27

The walk to the store

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/24

On Saturday, I like to walk to the grocery store. I bring a pair of reusable bags, because the handles of paper and plastic bags are prone to breaking. There are several grocery stores within walking distance. Each has a different route, some along ugly streets and some through nice subdivisions with sidewalks and tree cover. I sweat a lot on these walks, and cashiers ask if I’ve been running. “No,” I say. “I’ve been walking. If I had been running, I’d have gotten here sooner.” I’d probably have

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1:33

Lisa – Him

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/23

Him He was a charismatic man; I don’t think I fancied him not at first anyway. I’d always been a plain girl but there I felt special, like I stood out. It was how he treated people. He held your attention while he spoke; he didn’t look anywhere else. He put you at ease. It didn’t matter what he was saying: even explaining the old plumbing he had us all enthralled. I trusted and respected him. I never felt he’d given me any reason to doubt him, ridiculous isn’t it when he’d kept me and the others

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12:36

Weekly Challenge #948 – Spread

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/23

Lisa Lizzie Richard Serendipidy Norval Joe Tom Planet Z The next topic is PICK TWO Semantics, Cheers, Pots and pans, Landslide, Fret, Crystal RICHARD Breakfast Please be careful in the kitchen, you'll find the floor may be a little slippery. It's entirely my fault, but you see, I had to find a solution. I'm always in such a hurry rustling up something for breakfast that I invariably manage to drop my toast… You know how it goes: Always, butter side down. That's why

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1:21

McGruff

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/22

Remember McGruff the Crime Dog? He was a bloodhound in a trench coat that gave crime prevention tips. But the truth was, Mcgruff was an actual crime dog. He committed crimes. Mostly robberies, stealing audio-visual equipment and computers from the schools he'd visit. But sometimes, he'd sell drugs, I mean, he had a whole display case full of them, and they weren't just props. They were real, and after the show, he'd sell them to the teachers and administration. Why not, right? But never to the

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1:49

Whirly swirly portal

The 100 Word Stories Podcast ·

2024/06/21

Sometimes, with the right resonance, frequency, the barrier between worlds weakens, and a portal opens. A point of light, then a swirling vortex of color... and finally, a glowing tunnel. Strange glowing vapors and humming come from the tunnel. Where does it go? Where does it lead? I stick my hand in... it feels cold... and warm at the same time. Dare I look? Peer deep into the void? Nah. I don't need that in my life. I drag the garbage cans over and dump them into the tunnel. It'll save me a few

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